CUT TO...Freddy and Jason reaching Michael's apartment. Freddy knocks on the door, and in a moment, Michael opens it up. As Freddy and Jason see, Michael has his eyes glued to the newspaper.

Freddy Krueger: "Hey, Mike."

-As Freddy and Jason step into Micheal's pad, Michael shuts the door behind them.

Michael Myers: "Hey."

-That's when Michael hands the paper to Jason.

Michael Myers: "Look."

Jason Voorhees: "What?"

-Michael shrugs and points to the newspaper.

Michael Myers: "Look!"

-Jason looks at the headlines. Finally, a headline at the bottom of the of page gets his attention - Jessica Voorhees, survivor of 1993 Crystal Lake massacre, disappearance.

Jason Voorhees: "Oh, crap..."

Michael Myers: "I know. Apparantly, she's been missing from her home for almost week."

Freddy Krueger: "Hey, isn't she supposed to be last of the heroines from your movies to go after you?"

-Jason sighs.

Jason Voorhees: "Yeah."

-Freddy turns to Michael.

Freddy Krueger: "What do you think this means? You don't think that she could be...?"

Michael Myers: "Ghostface?"

Freddy Krueger: "Yeah."

Michael Myers: "I don't know. She could be, but to just disappear for too long and make headlines...she'd have to know better than to do that. It's too obvious for her to be Ghostface, I think."

Jason Voorhees: "Holy, crap! Ghostface? Why not? I could buy her as Ghostface!"

Michael Myers: "And, you're the one thinks that my dead nephew could also be back as Ghostface!"

Jason Voorhees: "Hey, it could still be him."

Michael Myers: "It couldn't be him. It's impossible. You were there. We were all there at the Myers house last Halloween. John tried to attack me with the machetes and you pushed me out of the way to save me. You took the pain and you smashed John against the basement door. And, John fell down the basement stairs and broke his neck."

Jason Voorhees: "Maybe he didn't. Maybe he survived it and we don't know."

Michael Myers: "Jason, he isn't a zombie like you. He's not going to survive something like that."

Jason Voorhees: "No. I'm saying that maybe, just maybe, John didn't break his neck. It's not like we went down there and examined the scene. We all assumed he died. Maybe he didn't. Did you ever think of that?"

-Michael sighs and thinks to himself.

Michael Myers: "No. I didn't think of that. But, I don't that's the case."

Jason Voorhees: "Well, I think it could be."

-Jason turns to Freddy.

Jason Voorhees: "Don't you, Fred?"

Freddy Krueger: "Personally, I don't know what to think. You guys are the ones always having heroes and heroines from your past coming back for revenge. Not me. Nobody ever hates me enough to get revenge on me. My life is boring!"

-Michael sighs.

Michael Myers: "Well, I don't think its either my nephew or Jessica Voorhees. It has be someone else. Someone we've overlooked. I just can't put my finger on it."

-Suddenly, the speaker box by the front door beeps. Michael goes over to answer.

Michael Myers: "Hello?"

The Creeper: "Hi, Michael! Hey, can I come up?"

-Michael, hesitantly, answers.

Michael Myers: "Um, yeah sure, Creeper."

The Creeper: "All right! I'll be right up."

Michael Myers: "Take your time. You have a long way up."

-Freddy and Jason turn to Michael.

Freddy Krueger: "The Creeper?"

Jason Voorhees: "What's he doing here?"

Michael Myers: "I don't know. But, I didn't want to be rude and say no."

-Suddenly, there's a knock on the front door. Michael opens the door, revealing his neighbor, Jack Tripper.

Jack Tripper: "Morning, Michael. Say, I'm preparing one of my breakfast specials for the girls and I ran out of salt. You wouldn't mind..."

Michael Myers: "Yeah, sure. I'll go get it."

Jack Tripper: "Thanks."

Michael Myers: "Come in. Say hi to Freddy and Jason."

-Michael heads over to the kitchen. Jack turns to Freddy and Jason.

Jack Tripper: "Oh, hi. I'm Jack. I just moved in here a while ago with the girls down the hall."

Freddy Krueger: "You mean, you're living Chrissy and Janet?"

-Jack shrugs.

Jack Tripper: "Uh, yeah."

Jason Voorhees: "Crap, man! You must be the man!"

Jack Tripper: "Oh, it's not like that. It's strictly platonic."

-Freddy and Jason turn to each other and laugh.

Freddy Krueger: "Platonic? Yeah, right!"

Jason Voorhees: "That's good one!"

Jack Tripper: "No, really. I really am living with Chrissy and Janet, platonically."

-Freddy and Jason laugh their hearts. That's when Michael comes back with his salt shaker.

Michael Myers: "Actually, they really are living together platonically. In fact, he's pretending to be gay, so that the landlord will let him live with them!"

-Freddy and Jason turn to each other and laugh more.

Freddy Krueger: "Now, that is just too funny!"

Jason Voorhees: "Yeah, it is!"

-Suddenly, there's another knock on the front door. Michael opens the door, revealing The Creeper, who's of course, openly gay.

The Creeper: "Hey, Michael!"

Michael Myers: "Hey, uh, Creeper."

-The Creeper walks right in and turns to Freddy and Jason.

The Creeper: "Hey, Freddy! Hey Jason!"

Freddy Krueger: "Hey, Creeper."

Jason Voorhees: "Hey."

-That's when The Creeper notices Jack. He turns directly to Jack. Jack backs away.

The Creeper: "And, who are you?"

Jack Tripper: "I'm, um, Jack. I live down the hall."

The Creeper: "Well, I must have missed you last year!"

Jack Tripper: "What?"

-Suddenly, there's another knock on the front door. Michael opens the door and his landlord, Mr. Roper, walks right in. Mr. Roper is an older man in his late 50's/early 60's.

Michael Myers: "Won't you come in?"

-Michael shuts the door and turns to Mr. Roper.

Mr. Roper: "I'm here for your rent."

Michael Myers: "Of course. I'll go get it."

-Michael heads to the back. Mr. Roper notices Freddy and Jason. Then, he notices Jack and The Creeper. He turns to Jack.

Mr. Roper: "Well, hello Tinkerbell!"

-Jack sighs. Mr. Roper never stops hassling him. If he only knew. The Creeper takes notice and mutters to himself.

The Creeper: "Tinkerbell?"

Jack Tripper: "Hello, Mr. Roper."

Mr. Roper: "I'll be by your apartment pretty soon. You better have your rent!"

Jack Tripper: "Don't worry, Mr. Roper. The girls and I have it prepared."

Mr. Roper: "Good! I don't like it being late. Not like last month."

-Michael comes back and hands Mr. Roper his rent money.

Michael Myers: "Here you go."

Mr. Roper: "Thank you..."

-Mr. Roper turns directly to Jack again.

Mr. Roper: "...You better be ready with yours!"

-Jack, getting tired of the way Mr. Roper treats, suddenly approaches him suggestively

Jack Tripper: "Oh, don't worry, Mr. Roper, you'll get you due!"

-Mr. Roper immediately backs away. The Creeper takes notice and mutters to himself.

The Creeper: "Huh?"

Mr. Roper: "Well, I want my rent, but I don't want that!"

-Jack, once more approaches Mr. Roper suggestively.

Jack Tripper: "You sure??"

-Mr. Roper immediately turns away again. The Creeper takes notice of Jack's actions again.

The Creeper: "Oh, my!"

Mr. Roper: "No, thanks! I don't want that!"

-Jack shrugs.

Jack Tripper: "All right. I guess."

-Mr. Roper backs away and turns to Michael.

Mr. Roper: "Thanks for your rent."

-Mr. Roper backs away further and bursts out the door. As he does, Freddy and Jason turn to Michael and laugh.

Freddy Krueger: "What was up with that?"

Jason Voorhees: "Yeah, man?"

Michael Myers: "Oh, the landlord always picks on Jack for being gay."

Jack Tripper: "Yeah, he does. Well, he thinks so anyway."

The Creeper: "What is all this? I don't understand!"

Michael Myers: "Oh, right. Jack lives with two women down the hall. Legally, men and women can't live in the same apartment in this building."

Jack Tripper: "Yeah, I'm putting on this gay charade, so I can room with them."

-The Creeper sighs. He finally meeds the man of his dreams and he turns out to be straight!

The Creeper: "Oh..."

-Jack turns to Michael.

Jack Tripper: "Anyway, thanks for the salt."

Michael Myers: "No problem."

-Jack heads out of Michael's pad, and Michael shuts the door. Michael turns to The Creeper.

Michael Myers: "So, Creeper, what's going on? Why here on short notice?"

The Creeper: "Oh, well, I got some fantastic news. My talk show, which was canceled a couple of months ago..."

Michael Myers: "You mean 'Creeping With The Creeper'?"

The Creeper: "...Yeah, that's right! My whole summer run of it and the few fall episodes are going on DVD next month. I'm here to give you guys some free dibs."

-The Creeper hands Freddy, Jason and Michael, DVD's of his talk show, "Creeping With The Creeper." Michael, hesitantly, accepts his copy.

Michael Myers: "Gee, uh, thanks, Creeper."

The Creeper: "No problem."

Jason Voorhees: "Wait, so every episode is on this?"

The Creeper: "That's right!"

Freddy Krueger: "Even the one with Michael Jackson?"

The Creeper: "Even the one with Michael Jackson!"

CUT TO...Jack, Chrissy and Janet in their apartment, reading books in the afternoon. Jack sits back on a chair reading How To Seduce Your Female Roommates. Janet sits back on the sofa reading How To Resist The Temptations of Your Male Roommate. And, Chrissy is sitting on the other chair, reading How To Start and Finish a Sentence - For Dummies. Chrissy shrugs.

Chrissy Snow: "I don't understand how read this book."

-Jack looks at the cover of her book and turns to her.

Jack Tripper: "You sure? It seems just right for you."

Chrissy: "I don't know what it is, but I can't start and finish the sentences!"

-Suddenly, there's a knock on their front door. Jack shrugs and immediately volunteers to get it.

Jack Tripper: "I'll get it!"

-Jack heads over to the front door and opens it to reveal Elaine Benice, looking real nice. Jack shrugs.

Jack Tripper: "Well, hello!"

-Elaine smiles.

Elaine Benice: "Hi. You don't know me, but I'm friends with Jerry Seinfeld down the hall."

Jack Tripper: "Oh, I know him. He's that comedian. Hi!"

Elaine Benice: "Listen, I know your current status..."

Jack Tripper: "Okay..."

-That's when Elaine unbottoms part of her red blouse. Jack takes notice.

Elaine: "...Oh, I'm sorry, it's so hot in this building! Don't you think?"

-Jack shrugs.

Jack Tripper: "Yeah, I'd say so."

Elaine Benice: "Well, anyway, I'm going out with Jerry and some other friends tonight to the movies. We're all going with dates. If you wouldn't mind..."

-Jack, being ladies man he is, shrugs.

Jack Tripper: "Sure! I'd love to go with you!"

-Elaine looks in surprise.

Elaine Benice: "Wow! Really? I didn't think you'd want to."

Jack Tripper: "Why not? I'm a ladies man! And, you're a lady. A fine one at that!"

Elaine Benice: "Wow, thank you. I guess I'll see you tonight."

Jack Tripper: "I guess you will."

-Jack eyes Elaine as she hesitantly walks away. He eventually shuts the door. Then, he turns around to Chrissy and Janet.

Jack Tripper: "Guess what, girls? I have a date tonight! And, the apartment's mine!"

Janet Wood: "Oh, Jack! Come on!"

Jack Tripper: "Hey, we've been over the ground rules. And tonight is my night! Sorry, girls, I'll need this apartment all to myself tonight."

-Chrissy and Janet sigh.

CUT BACK TO...Freddy, Jason, Michael and The Creeper, later on in the early afternoon. They are in Michael's living room, watching an episode of "Creeping With The Creeper" from the DVD on Michael's 60" flat TV.

TV: Cut to a studio with rows of seats leading to a stage. On the stage is a chair and sofa and back wall. Also on the stage is The Creeper announcing his next guest.

The Creeper: "Next up...Britney Spears!"

-The mostly gay audience freaks out as the Britney Spears song "Oops...I did it again!" plays over the speaker and as Britney Spears, showing off her midriff, walks out on stage. They love her! Britney Spears walks up the end of the stage to greet the audience and The Creeper. Upon seeing the beastly creature that is the Creeper, Britney hesitantly approaches him. The music stops and the audience gradually calms down. The Creeper turns to Britney.

The Creeper: "Hi, Britney! Welcome to my show!"

-Britney, fearing what she got herself into, shrugs.

Britney Spears: "Yeah, uh, thanks."

-The Creeper sits down on the chair set on the stage and the Britney sits on the sofa. The Creeper turns to Britney.

The Creeper: "So, Britney...what's it like to be a pop star?"

Britney Spears: "It's really cool. I enjoy it a lot. I get to go to a lot of overseas places, like Canada."

-The audience snickers at Britney's remark. Britney, however, fails to realize her error.

The Creeper: "What inspired you to be singer in the first place?"

Britney Spears: "Madonna! I love Madonna!..."

The Creeper: "You don't say...?"

Britney Spears: "...I just love her music. I would really, really, really like to be a legend like Madonna. Madonna knows what to do next, and when she's performing, the audience is just in awe of her."

The Creeper: "Okay. So, what about...you and Justin Timberlake?"

Britney Spears: "What about us?"

The Creeper: "So, what happened to between you two? You two were so cute together!"

Britney Spears: "Hmm...well, we broke up. We broke up in 2002. It made headlines all over the world."

The Creeper: "Oh, right..."

Britney Spears: "But, I will say this: when you're comfortable with someone you love, silence is the best. And, that's how me and J. were. When we were in a room together, we didn't have anything to say. It was for real."

The Creeper: "Wait, so you didn't have anything to say to Justin? How could that be? If there's no talk, there's nothing. Everything would be boring! And, there would be no relationship. I don't understand!"

Britney Spears: "No, no, no. Me and Justin, we did talk. But, when you already know each well and love each other, a lot, we can just relax and do nothing. Together. It's like just being there and respecting each other's company."

The Creeper: "I guess. But, I definitely wouldn't describe me and Victor like that. When, we're together in some room, I just lunge at him and tear his clothes off!"

-Britney crinches. So, does the audience.

The Creeper: "Anyway, I'd like to ask you something personal."

Britney Spears: "All right."

The Creeper: "Now, you've said before, and I quote: 'My views on virginity have not changed. I want to wait to have sex until I'm married. I do. I want to wait, but it's hard. I just want to live my life'."

Britney Spears: "What about it?"

The Creeper: "So, why did you break it? As you've also before, and again I quote: 'who really cares if I've had sex? It's nobody's business. Trust me, I'm not going to have a press conference to announce it. If I mess up, I'm human. If I have a drink or with someone, I'm human. I'm no different than anyone else my age'."

Britney Spears: "Okay, for your information, that isn't any of your business..."

-The audience reacts disappointingly. Britney immediately turns to the audience.

Britney Spears: "...Just as it isn't any of yours either!"

-Britney shrugs.

Britney Spears: "So, don't ask me."

The Creeper: "But, you still haven't answered my question! Why'd you break your rule of ethics and have sex with Justin Timerlake?"

Britney Spears: "What?? I mean, I didn't...this is ridiculous. This is [bleeping] ridiculous! Did you get me to go on your show, just so you could humiliate me on live television? Well, if so, it's not going to work! I saw what you did with Tom Cruise and you aren't going to break me!"

-Britney shrugs and lays back on the sofa, crossing her arms. The Creeper shrugs. He was in for a challenge! He turns back to Britney.

The Creeper: "You're right, I won't. Anyway...if you're trying to be such a roll model for little girls, why did you pose nude in your underwear on the cover of Rolling Stone magazine five years ago?"

-The audience cheers and howls for Britney.

Audience: "Whooooo! Oww!"

-Britney turns to The Creeper, then to the audience.

Britney Spears: "Oh, so you want to know why I posed for Rolling Stone? I'll tell you why! I decided to do it for fun. I did it for the heck of it. I mean, come on. Just becuase I look sexy on the cover doesn't mean I'm naughty! Really, I wasn't."

-The Creeper shrugs.

The Creeper: "Yeah, right!"

-The audience boos Britney.

Audience: "Booo!"

Britney Spears: "And to clarify how parent groups got angry at me for doing that...I guess its because I do have a younger audience that, you know, parents worry about the whole model thing. But when I was younger, I looked up to people, but I never wanted to be them. I always had my own identity. I'm an entertainer on stage, and they need to explain that to their kids. That's not my job to do that."

-For a moment, The Creeper and the audience is stone-cold silent for a moment. Britney showed them! But, that's when the Creeper and the audience burst out laughing.

Creeper and Audience: "Hahahahahahahahahahaha!..."

Britney Spears: "Why are you laughing at me?"

Creeper and Audience: "...Hahahahahahahahahahahaha!..."

Britney Spears: "What? What is it?"

Creeper and Audience: "...Hahahahahahahahahahahaha!..."

-Britney's eyes start to tear up.

Britney Spears: "Stop it! Stop laughing at me!"

-The Creeper starts calming down his audience.

The Creeper: "It's okay, let her go...heh, heh, heh..."

-A Tear rolls Britney right cheek. That's when The Creeper turns back to Britney.

The Creeper: "I don't know about you, sweety, but...oops! You've done it again!"

Britney Spears: "Huh?"

-Britney shrugs and finally notices what's up. Part of bra was hanging loose and she was exposing her left breast on live television!

Britney Spears: "Oh, crap!"

-Britney runs off stage in a fit. The Creeper and the audience laugh at her.

Creeper and Audience: "Hahahahahahahahahahaha!..."

-Back in Micheal's pad, Freddy, Jason, Michael and The Creeper, are laughing their hearts out!

Freddy, Jason, Michael and The Creeper: "...Hahahahahahahahahahaha!..."

-Freddy shrugs.

Freddy Krueger: "Oh, that was good, Creeper! You really showed her!"

-The Creeper shrugs.

The Creeper: "Didn't I? And, for a second, I didn't think I'd be able to break her."

Jason Voorhees: "That was awesome! What do you think happened? Do you think Justin Timberlake quickly ran on stage loosened up her bra when nobody was watching?"

Freddy Krueger: "Maybe!"

Michael Myers: "Now, that deserves a toast! You want some beer, Creeper?"

The Creeper: "Yeah, sure!"

-Michael gets up and starts heading for the kitchen.

Michael Myers: "What would you like? I have Molson Ice, Budweiser, Miller Light and Bud Light."

The Creeper: "Hmm...I'll have Bud Light!"

Michael Myers: "All right."

Freddy Krueger: "Oh, get me Budweiser while at, Mike!"

Jason Voorhees: "Yeah!"

Michael Myers: "I know!"

-Michael reaches his refridgerator and picks out the beers. That's when he turns back to the others.

Michael Myers: "Oh, and who wants some Cuban cigars while at?"

Freddy Krueger: "I do!"

Jason Voorhees: "Hell, yeah!"

The Creeper: "Hey, get me one, too!"

Michael Myers: "All right!"

-Michael proceeds to get everybody their beer and cigars.

CUT BACK TO...Elaine bickering with Jerry in his apartment, later on in the early afternoon.

Elaine Benice: "And, you said it couldn't be done!"

Jerry Seinfeld: "What?"

Elaine Benice: "Converting Jack to our team! I actually managed to convert him!"

Jerry Seinfeld: "I can't believe it. I can't."

Elaine Benice: "Well, whatever it is, something happened. I approached him about going out with me as my date to the movies tonight. Of course, I unbottoned my blouse, to turn him on..."

Jerry Seinfeld: "Naturally..."

Elaine Benice: "...And, it's actually kind of weird. Without hesitance, he shrugged and immediately agreed to go out with me. Just like that. You know what, I don't think he's gay."

Jerry Seinfeld: "Oh, come on!"

Elaine Benice: "No, seriously, I don't think Jack is gay. If he's gay, than maybe your landlord is misunderstanding him."

Jerry Seinfeld: "I don't think so."

Elaine Benice: "Why not?"

Jerry Seinfeld: "I just don't think so. Mr. Roper is a very stern guy. He isn't going to be fooled by a charade. Unless..."

Elaine Benice: "What?"

Jerry Seinfeld: "Well, Jack does live with two women."

Elaine Benice: "He does?"

Jerry Seinfeld: "Yeah, he lives with Chrissy and Janet down the hall. The only way this situation could make logical sense is if..."

Elaine Benice: "What? What is it?"

Jerry Seinfeld: "I got it! You see, men and women on the same team aren't allowed to live together in an apartment in this building. Mr. Roper is crazy that way. If Jack really opened up to you the way he did, then he could be pretending to be gay towards Mr. Roper...so, that he can live with those two women!"

Elaine Benice: "No! Get out!

-Elaine shoves Jerry. Jerry falls over and gets back up.

Jerry Seinfeld: "Yes! Jack is living the dream! He's living the impossible! He's living with Chrissy and Janet and having his way with them! There's no other logical explanataion!"

Elaine Benice: "Oh, gross! What have I gotten myself into??"

Jerry Seinfeld: "I don't know...but, I don't think you want to be the third woman!"

Elaine Benice: "Of course not! I have to talk to Jack! Now!"

CUT TO...Jack and Chrissy in their apartment later on in the early afternoon...

Chrissy Snow: "Oh, Jack!"

Jack Tripper: "Oh, Chrissy!"

Chrissy Snow: "Oh, Jack!"

Jack Tripper: "Oh, Chrissy!"

-Just kidding! Jack is really just mausaging Chrissy. Chrissy lays on the sofa with a towel over her back and butt, moaning and groaning.

Chrissy Snow: "Oh, Jack!"

-Jack, applying his hands around Chrissy's shoulders, is playfully goes along with it.

Jack Tripper: "Oh, Chrissy!"

Chrissy Snow: "Oh, Jack, you're at wonderful at this!"

-Jack shrugs.

Jack Tripper: "Aren't I?"

Chrissy Snow: "Now, could you go a little lower, please?"

Jack Tripper: "You mean you're upper back?"

Chrissy Snow: "Yeah."

Jack Tripper: "Of course, I would love to!"

-Jack proceeds to mausage Chrissy's upper back.

Chrissy Snow: "Well, Jack, I don't want you taking advantage of me, either!"

Jack Tripper: "What?? What are talking about? I would never do that!"

Chrissy Snow: "I know, but Janet isn't so sure. She thinks that you'll just jump at any opportunity."

Jack Tripper: "Janet said that? Why I never! However, I really don't blame her. I mean, this is New York. Ninety-nine percent of the men around here are complete jerks, who don't care about anybody but themselves. I can understand why she was hesitant about letting me room with you two."

Chrissy Snow: "That's what what Janet and I talked about this morning."

-Jack continues mausaging Chrissy's upper back.

Jack Tripper: "About what?"

Chrissy Snow: "About how most of the men in this city are jerks and all that. Janet just hasn't met the right guy yet, that's all."

Jack Tripper: "Yeah, I'd say so, too. You know, you sound really tense. How about I mausage your lower back?"

Chrissy Snow: "I would love that! Thanks, Jack."

-Chrissy laughs.

Chrissy Snow: "Just don't take advantage of me!"

-Jack, now applying his hands under the towel, proceeds to mausage Chrissy's lower back. He snickers.

Jack Tripper: "Oh, I won't!"

-Chrissy, feeling the comfort, moans and groans.

Chrissy Snow: "Oh, Jack!"

-Jack, mausaging Chrissy's lower back, playfully goes along with it.

Jack Tripper: "Oh, Chrissy!"

Chrissy Snow: "Oh, Jack!"

Jack Tripper: "Oh, Chrissy!"

-As Chrissy continues to moan and groan, Jack takes his left hand and starts applying it further below Chrissy's body. Chrissy fails to take notice.

Chrissy Snow: "Oh, Jack!"

Jack Tripper: "Oh, Chrissy!"

-Jack continues applying his left hand further down her body towards Chrissy's lower regions. Jack snickers. He was getting closer to his dreams! Chrissy still fails to take notice.

Chrissy Snow: "Oh, Jack!"

Jack Tripper: "Oh, Chrissy!"

-That's when suddenly Janet bursts out of her bedroom. Jack immediatly puts his left hand away.

Janet Wood: "That's it! What's going on over here?!"

-Jack shrugs.

Jack Tripper: "What does it look like?"

-As Janet witnesses, Jack is mausaging Chrissy's lower back.

Janet Wood: "Oh. But, was all that moaning and groaning?"

Chrissy Snow: "I was moaning and groaning!"

Jack Tripper: "And, I was playfully going along with it. I mean, Chrissy was really enjoying my mausage!"

Chrissy Snow: "Yeah!"

Janet Wood: "Oh. Never mind."

-Janet, embarrassed, walks back into her bedroom.

CUT BACK TO...Freddy, Jason, Michael and The Creeper later on in the mid-afternoon, drinking their beers and smoking their Cuban cigars.

Michael Myers: "So, Creeper, how did you get your own talk show? Did you really get it, because of your presence on that 'Jerry Springer' episode last year with Chucky?"

The Creeper: "Pretty much. Apparently, the ratings when through the roof. In fact, the ratings broke through the roof!"

Freddy Krueger: "I can understand. You and Chucky, you guys were hilarious on that show!"

Jason Voorhees: "Yeah, you were!"

The Creeper: "Thanks! I really enjoyed the experience. And, when the WB called me and asked me about doing my own talk show, I immediately bolted out the door!"

Michael Myers: "I understand that they chose you over Chucky, because Chucky was starting production for 'Seed of Chucky'."

The Creeper: "You could say that. I can understand why I wasn't their first choice. Chucky came before me and was already a public figure. I was just glad that I could catch my own break for stardom. And, when I got my show, I figured that I'd take advantage of the opportunity. I chewed the scenery and ran with it!"

Jason Voorhees: "You sure did! You were hilarious!"

Freddy Krueger: "You sure were!"

Michael Myers: "The way you ripped apart Tom Cruise and Michael Jackson..."

Freddy Krueger: "And, Britney Spears!"

Michael Myers: "...Yeah, and Britney Spears...you really dug deep and did your homework."

The Creeper: "I sure did. I swear, www.imdb.com has everything and anything about celebrities! That was a reliable source for my mocking of my guests."

CUT TO...Elaine, marching up to Jack apartment, later in the late afternoon. She knocks on his door and yells.

Elaine Benice: "Jack! Jack, I know you're there! I need to talk to you!"

-Mr. Roper, getting rent money from another tenant down the hall, takes notice.

Elaine Benice: "Hey, Jack! Jack! Open up!"

-Finally, Jack opens the door.

Jack Tripper: "Hey, Elaine, what's the matter?"

Elaine Benice: "You are what's the matter!"

Jack Tripper: "What?"

Elaine Benice: "I know what you're doing! I know your charade!"

Jack Tripper: "Oh, that. Well, between you and me, I'm only doing that, so that I can live with Chrissy and Janet. Mr. Roper wouldn't let me live here if he knew I was straight."

Elaine Benice: "I know! And, I think you're a sicko!"

Jack Tripper: "What? I'm not a sicko!"

Elaine Benice: "Yes, you are! I know what you're doing in that apartment with them!"

Jack Tripper: "Wait, wait, wait. You think I'm living with Chrissy and Janet, so I can date both of them?"

Elaine Benice: "Well...yeah!"

Jack Tripper: "That's not the case at all. I live with Chrissy and Janet on platonic terms. I don't have any intentions..."

-Jack thinks back in his head. He wishes.

Jack Tripper: "...Really, I'm only living with Chrissy and Janet on platonic terms. I'm only friends with them. Honest."

-Elaine looks surprised.

Elaine Benice: "Really?"

-Jack shrugs.

Jack Tripper: "Yeah."

Elaine Benice: "Oh."

-Elaine shies away, embarrassed.

Jack Tripper: "You want to come in? I'll introduce you to Chrissy and Janet."

-Elaine shrugs.

Elaine: "Oh, sure."

-Jack lets Elaine into his apartment. As the the apartment doors shuts, Mr. Roper approaches it. He couldn't hear everything from where he was down the hall, but he now had his suspicions...
Jack was not just doing it with Chrissy and Janet, but he was getting it on with Elaine as well!

CUT BACK TO...Freddy, Jason, Michael and The Creeper, in Michael's living room later on in the late afternoon.

Michael Myers: "So, whatever happened to Tom Cruise?"

The Creeper: "What about him?"

Michael Myers: "Your exploits with him over 'Creeping With The Creeper'?"

The Creeper: "Oh, right. If you followed the tabloid newspapers, Tom Cruise tried to sue me for my mocking of him on live television..."

Michael Myers: "Right..."

The Creeper: "...He lost the case, because he hit me first!"

Michael Myers: "And, because he hit you again the court house."

The Creeper: "That's right! Oh, that Tom! I love him!"

Michael Myers: "What about Victor Salva? Didn't you marry him?"

The Creeper: "Sure did! We both married in a hurry when Pennsylvania legalized gay marriages. In fact, I sent you guys invitations. Why didn't any of you come?"

Michael Myers: "Oh, well..."

Jason Voorhees: "I was, um, out on a killing spree!"

Freddy Krueger: "Uh, so was I! I was after a group of Elm Street teenagers over at Springwood, Ohio."

Michael Myers: "And, come to think of it, I, um, had an important meeting with Moustapha Akkad that day. I couldn't get out of it. Sorry."

The Creeper: "Oh, okay."

-The Creeper sighs.

The Creeper: "Even Chucky, Pinhead and Leatherface, didn't show. None of my guests arrived."

Michael Myers: "Well, you still married Victor, didn't you?"

The Creeper: "Yeah, I did."

Michael Myers: "So, don't worry about it. Say, you guys want Chinese for dinner?"

Freddy Krueger: "Sure."

Jason Voorhees: "Hell, yeah!"

The Creeper: "I'd like that."

Michael Myers: "All right."

-Michael whips out his cell phone and calls the local Chinese restaurant.

Michael Myers: "Hello? I'd like to order some food. I live over at Mount Hall Apartments. I live on the 69th floor in room no. 666."

-Freddy, Jason and The Creeper, turn to each other and laugh. So does the Chinese guy on the other line. Michael shrugs.

Michael Myers: "What? I said that I live at Mount Hall Apartments. Floor no. 69 and apartment no. 666!"

-Freddy, Jason and The Creeper, continue laugh. Michael glares at them then responds back to the Chinese guy.

Michael Myers: "Ha, ha, ha, very funny! Yes, I live on that floor and the room. Go ahead, laugh all you want!"

-Freddy, Jason and The Creeper, laugh their hearts out. So does the Chinese guy. Michael shrugs.

Michael Myers: "Whatever, do you want me to call up another Chinese restaurant instead of yours?...good...that's better. All right, I'll have..."

CUT BACK TO...Elaine bickering with Jerry in his apartment in the early evening. George and Costanza are also there, watching TV from Jerry's sofa.

Elaine Benice: "...And, as it turns out, it's only a charade so that he can live with Chrissy and Janet. He's not dating them! He's not a sicko!"

-Jerry shrugs.

Jerry Seinfeld: "I don't believe it."

Elaine Benice: "Oh, come on!"

Jerry Seinfeld: "I can't. Since the beginning of time..."

-Elaine sighs and mutters to herself.

Elaine Benice: "'Since the beginning of time'...here he goes again!"

Jerry Seinfeld: "...Man has never been able to have a 'platonic' relationship. It simply can't be done!"

Elaine Benice: "That is not true! Not with Jack, Chrissy and Janet. They're just friends."

Jerry Seinfeld: "So, you think."

Elaine Benice: "So, I know!"

Jerry Seinfeld: "We'll see."

-Jerry turns to George.

Jerry Seinfeld: "Hey, George, is it possible for a man to live with women, 'platonically'?"

-George shrugs and turns to Jerry and Elaine.

George Costanza: "No, of course not!"

-Jerry turns to Kramer.

Jerry Seinfeld: "Kramer?"

-Kramer shrugs and turns to Jerry and Elaine.

Kramer: "Nada!"

-Jerry turns back to Elaine.

Jerry Seinfeld: "You see?"

Elaine Benice: "Oh, whatever! You're just men. You're being narrow-minded!"

Jerry Seinfeld: "And, you are being too open-minded. This Jack guy, he's just playing around with you. And, so must Chrissy and Janet. All of them must be sickos!"

Elaine Benice: "They aren't sickos! I met them. Chrissy and Janet are very friendly."

Jerry Seinfeld: "Of course! They have to be if you want they want to seduce you!"

-Jerry turns back to George.

Jerry Seinfeld: "George?"

George Costanza: "Sickos!"

-Jerry turns tor Kramer.

Jerry Seinfeld: "Kramer?"

Kramer: "Perverts!"

-Jerry turns back to Elaine. Elaine glares at him.

Elaine: "Oh, we'll see!"

CUT BACK TO...Freddy, Jason, Michael and The Creeper, in the evening. They are having their Chinese take-out in the kitchen. That's when there's a knock on the front door. Michael puts his white Halloween mask back on heads over. Michael opens the front door, revealing Jack.

Jack Tripper: "Hey, Michael, would you happen to have some cologne?"

Michael Myers: "I believe so. Come in."

-Michael heads back to get cologne. Jack walks in and shuts the door. The Creeper notices and Jack and turns to him.

The Creeper: "Hi, Jack!"

Jack Tripper: "Uh, hey."

-Suddenly, there's another knock on the door. Jack opens it, revealing Elaine.

Jack Tripper: "Oh, Elaine. How'd you I know I was here?"

Elaine Benice: "Chrissy told me."

-Jack lets Elaine in and shuts the door. Seeing Elaine with Jack, The Creeper sighs. Michael comes back with a bottle of cologne and hands it to Jack.

Michael Myers: "Here."

Jack Tripper: "Thanks."

-Jack quickly sprays some cologne on him.

Elaine Benice: "What is that?"

-Jack checks the label on the cologne.

Jack Tripper: "It is...Navy!"

-Elaine smells the air around Jack.

Elaine Benice: "Hmm...I love it!"

-Suddenly, there's another knock on the door. Jack and Elaine get of out of the way, so Michael can answer. Michael opens the door, revealing Mr. Roper. Mr. Roper walks right in and turns to Michael.

Mr. Roper: "Is Jack here? I need to talk to him!"

-That's when Mr. Roper notices Jack and Elaine in the living room.

Mr. Roper: "There you are!"

-Mr Roper approaches Jack.

Mr. Roper: "Are you pulling a charade on me??"

-Jack shrugs. Not this again.

Jack Tripper: "Excuse me?"

Mr. Roper: "Are you pulling a charade on me? By God, if you're pretending to be gay..."

Jack Tripper: "What are you talking about? I'm a gay as gay can be!"

-Jack approaches Mr. Roper, suggestively.

Jack Tripper: "Want to play?"

-Mr. Roper approaches Jack head on.

Mr. Roper: "Sorry, that isn't going to work this time. I saw you arguing with this woman earlier today!"

Jack Tripper: "Oh, that? That was nothing! She was confused!"

-Jack turns to Elaine.

Jack Tripper: "Weren't you, Elaine?"

-Elaine shrugs.

Elaine Benice: "Yeah, I'm confused! I'm a floozy!"

Mr. Roper: "I don't know what to believe. All I know is that you're about to go on a date or something."

Jack Tripper: "A date?"

Mr. Roper: "Yeah, you're holding cologne."

Jack Tripper: "Oh, um..."

-Suddenly, The Creeper stands up and turns to Mr. Roper.

The Creeper: "Oh, I'm sorry, you mean my date!"

Mr. Roper: "Excuse me?"

-The Creeper approaches Mr. Roper.

The Creeper: "My date with Jack! Jack was just embarrassed to tell you about it. After all...

-The Creeper shrugs.

The Creeper: "...I'm The Creeper!"

-Mr. Roper turns to Jack.

Mr. Roper: "Is this true?"

Jack Tripper: "Um..."

-Jack doesn't know what to say. A date with The Creeper?? The Creeper kicks Jack.

Jack Tripper: "...Yes! Yes, I'm going out with The Creeper tonight. I was embarrassed to tell you. I'm sorry to have get you all wrapped up in this."

Mr. Roper: "Well, keep me out of it! I don't want to know about your dates with your 'types'!"

-Mr. Roper, looking at Jack and The Creeper, shrugs.

Mr. Roper: "But, I must say, you two make a cute couple together!"

-Jack sighs. The trouble he's gotten himself into. The Creeper shrugs.

The Creeper: "Oh, thank you!"

-The Creeper turns to Jack.

The Creeper: "Don't we, Jack?"

-Jack, hesitantly, turns to The Creeper.

Jack Tripper: "Uh, yeah. Yes, we do."

-Mr. Roper shrugs and turns to Jack.

Mr. Roper: "Well, aren't you going to go out?"

-The Creeper shrugs.

The Creeper: "Yes, we are!"

-The Creeper turns to Jack.

The Creeper: "Let's go, Jack!"

-The Creeper starts leading Jack to the front door. Jack, hesitantly follows him. Reaching the door, The Creeper turns to everyone.

The Creeper: "Bye, everyone!"

-And, The Creeper bursts out of Michael's pad with Jack. Outside in the hallway, The Creeper grabs a hesitant Jack and starts dragging down the hall.

The Creeper: "Come on! Let's go on our date!"

-Jack, unable to escape The Creeper's grasp, freaks out.

Jack Tripper: "Nooo...!"

CUT TO...Freddy, Jason and Michael, in the late evening.

Freddy Krueger: "What a day we've had!"

Jason Voorhees: "You can say that again!"

Freddy Krueger: "Jack, Mr. Roper, The Creeper..."

Jason Voorhees: "I feel bad for Jack!"

Michael Myers: "What about The Creeper? He's had his way with a lot of men. Mark Patton, Jerry Springer, Tom Cruise, and now, Jack Tripper!"

Freddy Krueger: "Poor, Jack!"

-Freddy, Jason and Michael laugh.

Freddy Krueger: "But, what about Ghostface? What are we going to do with him?"

Jason Voorhees: "Or, her?"

Freddy Krueger: "Oh, right."

Michael Myers: "I don't know what to make of it. It could be John, it could Jessica Voorhees, or somebody else. We'll just have to wait and see what happens next."

Jason Voorhees: "Wait a minute, you said this morning that it couldn't be them. What's with the change of heart?"

Michael Myers: "Well, to be honest, I've had my suspicions. A week and a half ago on the same night you went out with Todd on that fateful murder spree down Woody Allen Ave..."

-Jason sighs. Poor Todd.

Michael Myers: "...I was with at Pinhead's night club. And, Ghostface called me again. I haven't been able to figure out if I was too drunk or not at the time...but, I think I heard my nephew on the other line."

-Freddy and Jason turn to each other.

Freddy and Jason: "No!"

Michael Myers: "Yes."

Jason Voorhees: "Holy crap! It really could be John!"

Michael Myers: "Or, Ghostface could have John's voice on his or her voice box and was trying to scare me. It could go both ways."

-Suddenly, Michael's cell phone rings. Michael, hesitantly, answers.

Michael Myers: "Hello?"

Ghostface: "What's up?!"

-Michael sighs.

Michael Myers: "Hello, Ghostface."

Ghostface: "Well, how are you doing?? Feeling the heat yet??"

Michael Myers: "Nope. Nothing. I can't determine if you're a regular joker, but I have the pleasure of knowing that you can't reach me."

Ghostface: "You think?"

-Michael shrugs.

Michael Myers: "Yes, I do."

Ghostface: "Well, what about this, Captain Kirk? I know where you live!"

Michael Myers: "Bullshit."

Ghostface: "No, I really do! You live at..."

-Michael braces himself.

Ghostface: "...Mount Hall Apartments. You live on, none other than, the 69th floor near the top of the building. And, you live in apartment no. 666. "

-Michael is silent.

Ghostface: "Well...?"

Michael Myers: "I don't know how you found out, but that doesn't mean you'll get me. Whoever you, stay out of away from me! Or, else!"

-Michael hangs up on Ghostface. Freddy and Jason turn to Michael.

Freddy Krueger: "What is it?"

Jason Voorhees: "What's going on?"

-Michael sighs.

Michael Myers: "Ghostface knows where I live."

Jason Voorhees: "Oh, crap..."

Freddy Krueger: "He does? Or, I mean, he or she does? How'd Ghostface find out?"

Michael Myers: "I don't know how Ghostface found out. I don't know he, or she, could have done that. I've always covered my tracks. Unless..."

Freddy Krueger: "What?"

Michael Myers: "Unless Ghostface follwed me home a week and half ago. I was drunk at the time and took a cab home. I struggled to reach my apartment and get inside. Before I passed out, I vaguely remember hearing someone outside my door."

Jason Voorhees: "Oh, crap..."

Freddy Krueger: "That must have been Ghostface. How else could he or she know where you live? What are we going to do?"

Michael Myers: "The only thing we can do. Just sit and wait. Eventually, Ghostface is going to come and try to get me. Or, all of us. And, when he..."

Freddy Krueger: "Or, she."

Michael Myers: "...Yeah...comes, I'll be ready."

Freddy Krueger: "You sure?"

Michael Myers: "What other choice do we have? There's obviously a psycho after us, so we have to cover our tracks."

Freddy Krueger: "You mean, you're finally admitting it's not another practical joker?"

Michael Myers: "It can't be. This Ghostface, whoever it is, he or she is too slick to be another joker. It has to be someone we know. Someone who has it out for us. Someone from one of our pasts. At the very least, it could be John. I seriously doubt its him, but at this point, I don't know what to think anymore. And, it could be Jessica Voorhees. Or someone else that we haven't thought about. "

Jason Voorhees: "So, what are we going to do?"

Michael Myers: "What are we going to do? Let's see...Ghostface obviously is out to get us and Ghostface also knows where I live. So, when the time comes, and when I, or all of us, have to face this Ghostface, we'll be ready."

-Michael sits back and relaxes in his chair.

Michael Myers: "We'll just wait and see. When Ghostface comes, we'll get him. Or, her. I'm ready for it. We'll stop this Ghostface once and for all."

CUT TO...FBI agent and son of Dr. Sam Loomis, Donald Loomis, at Pinhead's night club sitting at a side bar. Donald is in his late thirties/early forties, is in decent shape, wears glasses, and also inherited his father's balding hair line (think Mitch Pileggi from "The X-Files"). He has went after Michael before and hasn't been able to catch him. Michael has always covered his tracks and has tricked Donald and his fellow FBI agents on several occations. Donald, sighing, mutters to himself.

Donald Loomis: "I'll never be able to catch him. I never have. I'll never be able to catch..."

-Donald sighs.

Donald Loomis: "...The boogeyman."

-Donald takes his glass of Molson Ice and gulps it down.

Donald Loomis: "I've always vowed to stop him, but I've never found enough traces. My father wasn't even able to find enough traces on him."

-Donald sighs again.

Donald Loomis: "And, I never will find him. My father wasn't, and this rate, neither will I. I have quit while at it. I'll vow to stop looking for Michael Myers. I'll vow to leave whatever's left of him alone and let him be. I can't keep this up, I can't. From now on, the boogeyman is dead to me. That's it."

-That's when his cell phone rings. The ring tone is the eerie "X-Files" theme. Donald answers.

Donald Loomis: "Hello?"

Ghostface: "Donald Loomis?"

Donald Loomis: "Who is this?"

Ghostface: "I know where Michael Myers is."

Donald Loomis: "Who is this??"

Ghostface: "Who I am doesn't matter. What does matter is that I know where Michael Myers is."

Donald Loomis: "Listen bud, I've been fooled on numerous occations by Michael, in one way or another. How do I know you're legit?"

Ghostface: "How about this? Mount Hall Apartments. Floor no. 69. Apartment no. 666. How's that for legit?"

Donald Loomis: "Holy shit! Right here in New York??"

Ghostface: "You got it!"

Donald Loomis: "Wait a minute, you could be just making that up. How do I know I can trust you? What's your name?"

Ghostface: "Again, who I am doesn't matter. What does matter is that I know that you've had a vendetta to stop Michael Myers. And, so do I. I want to help you. Together, we could both track down Michael Myers and stop him. How does that sound?"

Donald Loomis: "Okay, I'm in. Now tell me, what do you have in mind?"

THE END