-Freddy's cell phone rings. The ring tone is the eerie "A Nightmare on Elm Street" theme. Freddy answers it.

Freddy Krueger: "Hello?"

Ash: "Hey, pussy!"

Freddy Krueger: "Well, speak of the devil."

Ash: "What's up? How are you doin'? Feeling the heat?"

Freddy Krueger: "What do you mean? What heat? There's nothing going on."

Ash: "You know perfectly well what's going on. The exec's from New Line Cinema are trying to deal with my good buddy, Sam Raimi, as we speak. What with all these versus movies going on, there is no reason why I shouldn't join in."

Freddy Krueger: "Oh, we just keep going over this and over this, don't we?"

Ash: "And, we'll keep going over this while the versus train keeps going."

Freddy Krueger: "Let me tell you something. 'Freddy vs. Jason' and 'Alien vs Predator' are both movies that have been in the making for years. They both started as concepted rumors based on two groups of successful series' and they happened. And, now it's over. There will not be anymore versus movies for a while."

Ash: "Well, let me tell you something. 'Freddy vs. Jason vs. Ash' is another concepted rumor. And, it is bound to happen whether you and J-boy like it or not. It may not happen today, it may not happen tomorrow, but it will happen someday. You think they only made two versus movies back in the 1930's and `40's Hollywood hayday with Frankenstein, Dracula and The Wolfman? Of course not. They did numerous takes with those montsters, until they overdid it. And, they will overdo this versus fad while it is happening."

Freddy Krueger: "But, it isn't happening. Not anymore. 'Freddy vs. Jason' and 'Alien vs. Predator' happened already. And, there will be no more of this versus nonsense."

Ash: "You think that's all the versus crap that Hollywood will crank out?"

-Ash laughs.

Ash: "This is just the beginning! The fact that your stupid versus movie even made a lot money at the box office in the first place will warrant another movie with you guys. And, with me! New Line wants to use you guys again for another versus film. And, they want to use me, because I'm such a popular icon."

Freddy Krueger: "You, popular?"

-Freddy laughs.

Freddy Krueger: "Oh, please! To horror fans and movie geeks, you may be popular. But, not with mainstream audiences. 'Freddy vs. Jason,' that was one time deal. At the time, there had not been a versus film for a long time, and the curiousity that was 'Freddy vs. Jason' enticed the mainstream audience. Sure, mainstream audiences don't care about us horror icons and our movies that much, but they still knew who we were from our infamous reputations. They know who we are on a first name basis. You see, it wasn't just the horror fans who saw 'Freddy vs. Jason'..."

Ash: "Yeah, well..."

Freddy Krueger: "And, let me finish! Now, 'Freddy vs. Jason vs. Ash'? Horror fans aren't pleased with the idea. They don't like it. They think it would be too funny and cheesy. And, they're right. And, mainstream audiences? 'Freddy vs. Jason' has come and gone my friend, and so is 'Alien vs. Predator.' We can't have too many versus movies. Mainstream audiences, they won't go to another versus movie with Jason and I. It's not like a lot of regular people liked our movie anyway. It was the horror fans that liked it. I'm going to assure you something..."

Ash: "No, let me..."

Freddy Krueger: "No, let me! Let's say New Line made that deal with your buddy, Sammy. And, they made 'Freddy vs. Jason vs. Ash.' Mainstream audiences already saw 'Freddy vs. Jason,' so what's the point? Oh, that's right, for the third party. But, who's Ash? Who's this Ash fellow? Most of the mainstream audience doesn't know who you are and they won't care about seeing you fight Jason and I. The truth is out there, and that is it. You are loser, and you have move on with your life. Have a nice life, Ash."

-Freddy hangs up on Ash.

Jason Voorhees: "Woah! You sure showed him!"

Freddy Krueger: "Yes, I did! Yes, I did!"

-Jason's cell phone rings. The ring tone is the 'Friday The 13th' theme. Jason answers it.

Jason Voorhees: "Hello?"

Ash: "What's up, pussy?"

Jason Voorhees: "Oh, not you again!"

Ash: "Yes, it's me. I think I've heard from Freddy, so I'll try you this time."

Jason Voorhees: "Listen man, you're wasting your time. Nobody cares..."

Ash: "Yes, they do! Sure, you and Freddy have the among the biggest franchises. But, just because you guys have more movies than me, doesn't mean I'm any less popular. People know who I am as much you two. If the mainstream crowd is going to be aware of some retarded hockey goalie..."

Jason Voorhees: "Hey!"

Ash: "...And a blabbermouth sandman, then I don't see why they won't be aware of me. I'm the guy that took on the evil dead that wouldn't go away! I took on an army of darkness! I've took on death right in the face of, um, death! I don't see why I couldn't take on you pussies!"

Jason Voorhees: "We are not pussies!"

Ash: "Yes, you are! Both of you! I challenged you guys this summer and both of you agreed to the stakes. But, neither of you showed up. You had to send a friend for help."

Jason Voorhees: "It's not like that."

Ash: "Yes, it is!"

-Freddy turns to Jason.

Freddy Krueger: "Let me talk to him."

-Jason hands Freddy his cell phone. That's also when they reach Pinhead's night club. Jason drives into the parking lot and parks his SUV.

Freddy Krueger: "Ash?"

Ash: "Oh, not you again!"

Freddy Krueger: "Yes, me! We didn't fight you, because you challenged us when we going to see a movie."

Ash: "That is so weak! You could have seen it another time!"

Freddy Krueger: "I'm aware of that, and there's more. You know, all this ranting from you goes back to the same thing. You don't really want to do 'Freddy vs. Jason vs. Ash.' You just want to be in another movie again. And with Sammy out making the 'Spider-man' films, you have no more 'Evil Dead' movies to attend to. You're just angry, because Sam Raimi has moved on."

Ash: "No, I'm not!"

Freddy Krueger: "Yes, you are!"

Ash: "No, I'm not! Now, let me tell you something! I want to fight you and Jason, I really do. You know why? Because, you and J-boy have always been more popular than me."

Freddy Krueger: "So, you admit it!"

-Ash sighs.

Ash: "Yes! Yes, I do! You guys, along with that other pussy, Michael Myers, are always at the top of the charts for most popular horror icons. I've always been fourth. And, each year at the Horror Convention, you guys always get more screaming fans than me."

Freddy Krueger: "So, you're jealous?"

Ash: "Yes, I am jealous! I think I deserve more credit that I get."

Freddy Krueger: "Wait, wait, wait. You know, hearing from you really puts things into perspective. I used to be jealous of Jason, because of the extra sequels he had and over the extra talk about him he gets over me on movie web sites..."

-Jason turns to Freddy.

Freddy Krueger: "...But you know what, after a while, I stopped caring. It didn't really matter, because I still had my fans. And, so do you. You have plenty of fans, and they cherish your movies. I don't know why you say that Jason and I get more screaming fans. I never counted. I don't know why you would. You don't need to. The only reason Jason and I may be a little more popular than you, is because we came before you. At least Jason did. That is why Jason is the top popular horror icon. Do I care that I'm second in line? Not at all. Not anymore, anyway. You need to get over this popularity nonsense and take the what you have. That's all have to say."

Ash: "Oh, yeah?"

Freddy Krueger: "Yeah."

Ash: "Well, you're still a pussy in my book! Both you and Jason are pussies!"

Freddy Krueger: "No, we aren't!"

Ash: "Yes, you are!"

Freddy Krueger: "No, we aren't!"

Ash: "Then, fight me! Prove to me that you and that hockey goalie aren't pussies! Show me the money!"

Freddy Krueger: "Show you the money?"

Ash: "Yeah, show me the money!"

-Freddy turns to Jason for a moment, then he answers back.

Freddy Krueger: "All right! All right! I'll show you the money! If you really want this fight, you're getting it! I'll show you that money!"

-Jason swipes his cell phone back from Freddy.

Jason Voorhees: "And, I'll show you my money too! If you want it, you're getting it! And, getting it good!"

Ash: "Now, that's what I want to hear!"

Jason Voorhees: "Now, where do you want to see this money?!"

Ash: "Drive down to the end of Woody Allen Ave. You'll see an S-Mart department store to your left. Drive to the back parking lot. I'll be there."

Jason Voorhees: "We'll be there too! We'll be there alright!"

-Ash hears Freddy in the background of the phone call.

Freddy Krueger: "Yeah, we'll be there. I'll show you!"

Ash: "Very good. I'll see you boys soon."

-Ash hangs up on Jason, and Jason heads for S-Mart.

Jason Voorhees: "That Ash, I'm going to slaughter him all over the place down at S-Mart! I'm going to show him my money!"

Freddy Krueger: "And, I'm going to show him my money! In his dreams! I'll find out what makes him tick and rip apart that ego of his!"

CUT TO...Ash sitting in his `73 Oldsmobile in back parking lot of the S-Mart department store he works at. It is late in the evening and S-Mart is closed, so only Ash's car remains there in parking lot.

-Listening to music on the radio, Ash plays around with his boomstick, or twelve-guage double-barrelled shotgun. Ash mutters to his shotgun while Alice Cooper's Jason song, "He's Back (The Man Behind The Mask)" is playing on the radio.

Music: "...And, he's out tonight, and he's watchin' you, and he knows your house, no, don't turn out the lights..."

Ash: "Oh, yeah baby. Tonight, I'll get to put you to work. You're going to shoot down Jason! And, you're going to shoot down Freddy too! Together, we're going to be kicking those pussies' asses!"

Music: "...Yeah, cause he's back...he's the man behind the mask...and he's out of control...he's back...the man behind the mask...and he's after your soul..."

Ash: "Not tonight, he isn't! Tonight is my night! I'm back, I'll be out of control, and I'm going after Jason's soul!"

Music: "...He's back...he's the man behind the mask...and he's out of control..."

Ash: "Oh, shut up!"

-Ash changes the radio station. Now playing is the Freddy song, "Nightmare," sung by Tuesday Knight from "A Nightmare on Elm Street 4: The Dream Master."

Music: "...Those three stripes...once again...I'm all alone...it feels like the end...he walks with me...while I sleep...it's like a heart attack, going one way street...can't sleep tonight, because I'm gone, gotta run, have to hide, I'm runnin'...runnin' from this nightmare...yeah, I'm runnin'..."

Ash: "He has a song, too?? Why, I never!"

-Ash turns off the radio in a huff. Then, he sees a BMW X5 SUV drive around the other side of the parking lot. The BMW stops and parks in a spot. Ash braces himself.

Ash: "It better be them this time. Not that dickwad, Leatherface, again."

-Two figures step out of the SUV, a hockey goalie and shorter figure wearing a familiar hat and fedora.

Ash: "It's them! Those pussies finally decided to show!"

-Freddy and Jason close the front doors to the BMW and face Ash, just 50 feet away around the other side of the parking lot.

Freddy Krueger: "Okay, let's do this thing!"

Jason Voorhees: "Yeah!"

-Freddy and Jason start charging for Ash. Ash, excited as hell, jumps out of his car. He sticks his shotgun behind him around his back and goes around to the car's trunk. He opens the trunk and grabs his main weapon...a chainsaw! He sticks his prosthetic right hand into a slot in his chainsaw and places a brace over it secure it. Then, he looks over at Freddy and Jason, who are still walking over, and runs his chainsaw (Rrrrr! Rrrrr!).

-Ash shuts the trunk and faces Freddy and Jason. Then, he starts walking up to them to meet them head on.

Freddy, Jason and Ash, stop and face each other in the middle ground area between their parked cars. Jason breathes heavily, Freddy snickers and Ash looks at them with determination in his eyes.

Ash: "This is it. This our fight. Too late to turn around and go back. Time to show your worth."

Freddy Krueger: "Yeah, this is it. Time to teach you who's boss and show you why we're at the top of the charts."

Jason Voorhees: "I'm going to show you! I'm going to slaughter you all over the place like I never have before!"

Ash: "All right. If that's how you feel. So, show me!"

-Ash gets in position to fight. Freddy is about snicker and show off his claws and Jason is about to shrug and whip out his machete, when they both to each other.

Freddy Krueger: "You know what, he's not worth it."

Jason Voorhees: "Naw, he isn't."

Ash: "Huh?"

Freddy Krueger: "Let's go. I'd rather fight a real man."

Jason Voorhees: "Yeah. This guy, he's weak."

-Freddy and Jason turn around and start to walk away. Ash is dumbfounded.

Ash: "What is this?!"

-Ash runs after Freddy and Jason to catch up to them. That's when Jason turns around and shoves Ash away slamming to the ground (Thud!). Ash gets back up shaken and is suddenly clotheslined Freddy (Thud!). Ash gets up again to see Freddy and Jason facing him like they have never before. Freddy snickers and shows off his claws. It was just a trick.

Freddy Krueger: "Let's get this sucker!"

-Jason shrugs and whips out his machete (Shing!).

Jason Voorhees: "Yeah!"

-Freddy and Jason both charge for Ash. Ash kicks Freddy away, then Jason grabs Ash and slams him to the ground again (Thud!). Ash gets up and is clothesline by Freddy (Thud!). Ash looks up from the ground to see Jason grab him and pick him up in the air. That's when he starts his chainsaw (Rrrrr!...) and swings it at the left side of Jason's body. Little bursts of blood spray from the wound (...Rrrrrrrrrr!...). Jason takes the pain and slams him to the ground again (Thud!) (...Rrrrr...).

-Ash gets up dazed. That's when Freddy cuts in and swipes his claws across Ash's chest (Shing!).

Ash: "Aah!"

-Little bursts of blood spray from the wound. Freddy swipes at him more times (Shing! Shing!) and more blood sprays. Ash starts up his chainsaw (Rrrrr!...).

Ash: "Ha!"

-Freddy gets out of the way and Ash gets up see Jason ahead of him (...Rrrrrrrrrr!...). He charges for him and swings the chainsaw at him (...Rrrrrrrrrr!...). Jason intercepts the chainsaw by swinging his machete at it (Shing!). Ash swing his chainsaw at him again (...Rrrrrrrrrr!...), and Jason swings his machete back at it (Shing!).

-It was as if they were sword fighting with their prized weapons. Ash swings his chainsaw at Jason once more (...Rrrrrrrrrr!...), and Jason fights back with his machete (Shing!). Ash swings his chainsaw at Jason again, only this time to clip the right side of Jason's body (...Rrrrrrrrrr!...). Little bursts of blood sprays from the wound and Jason takes the pain (...Rrrrrrrrrr!...). That's when Jason manages to slice his machete across Ash's chest (Shing!).

Ash: "Aah!"

-Little bursts of blood sprays from the wound, but Ash takes it like man (...Rrrrrrrrrr!...). Then, Jason slashes at Ash's chest more (Shing!).

Ash: "Aah!"

-That's when Ash swings his chainaw it at Jason's chest (...Rrrrrrrrrr!...). Jason ducks out of the way and Ash charges back at him (...Rrrrrrrrrr!...). Jason and Ash continue their "sword fight" all the way back to Ash's `73 Oldsmobile (Shing!) (...Rrrrrrrrrr!...). Freddy has been sitting by the sidelines for a while and watching Jason and Ash in action (Shing!) (...Rrrrrrrrrr!...).

-Making it back to Ash's car, Jason swings his machete at Ash. Ash fights back and intercepts it with his chainsaw (...Rrrrrrrrrr!...). That's when Jason throws his machete aside and swipes the chainsaw away from Ash's right arm. The chainsaw falls to the ground next to Ash's car (...Rrrrr...).

-Ash, in slow motion, sees the chainsaw flail about in the air and fall to cement ground (Thu-u-ud!).

Ash: "Nooo...!"

-Then, Ash looks up to see Jason grab him and lift him in the air. Jason violently slams Ash on the hood of his car (Crunch!).

Ash: "Ow!"

-Jason picks him back up and slams him again (Crunch!).

Ash: "Ow, hey!"

-Jason is about to slam him once more when Freddy joins in.

Freddy Krueger: "Let me have him!"

-Jason drops Ash back on the hood. Then, Freddy approaches Ash. It was now his turn. He takes his claws and swipes them across Ash's chest (Shing!).

Ash: "Aah!"

Freddy Krueger: "Feels good, doesn't it??"

-Little bursts of blood spray from the wound and Freddy swipes him more times (Shing! Shing! Shing!).

Ash: "Aah! Aah! Aah, hey!"

Freddy Krueger: "I know, my children love it!"

-Freddy swipes Ash's chest like never before (Shing!). More bursts of blood spray from the wound.

Ash: "Aah!"

-That's when Ash manages to throw a mean punch at Freddy (Pow!). Freddy falls back and Ash gets back up from the hood of his car to crack his back.

Ash: "Is that all you guys have to offer?"

-Suddenly, Ash is clotheslined by Jason (Thud!). Ash gets up, only be clotheslined Freddy (Thud!). Ash gets back up shaken. Then, seeing a Jason charging for him, he whips out his shotgun and fires at himg (Bang!). Jason falls back and Ash approaches the body. Motionless. Then, Jason suddenly sits back up.

-Ash fires at him again and Jason falls back (Bang!). Ash walks up the body to shoot him more. Jason sits back up. Ash fires at him, but it doesn't take Jason down (Bang!). Ash fires at Jason more, but Jason just proceeds to stand back up (Bang! Bang!). Jason looks down at him with his one good eye and charges for Ash.

Ash: "Oh, shit!"

-Ash backs away, firing at Jason (Bang! Bang! Bang!). The bullets just shoot through his body like nothing. Ash stops, then Jason stops. Ash puts back his shotgun and Jason cracks his back like nothing ever happened. Ash is surprised. Freddy walks up to Ash.

Freddy Krueger: "He's tough, isn't he??"

-Ash turns around and punches Freddy in his burnt face (Pow!). Then, Freddy punches Ash back (Pow!). And, Ash punches back (Pow!). And, Freddy hits Ash again (Pow!). Jason, seeing Freddy and Ash punching the living day lights out of each other, charges for Ash. Ash, seeing Jason charging at him, jumps out of the way and Jason ends ups shoving Freddy to the ground (Thud!). Freddy is shaken.

Freddy Krueger: "Jason!"

Jason Voorhees: "Sorry!"

-Freddy and Jason get back up, only to see Ash strapping his chainsaw back on his right arm. Ash turns to them.

Ash: "Now, you guys are really going to get it!"

-Ash faces his foes. Looking at Jason, he starts up his chainsaw (Rrrrr!...) as if he was going to charge at him. However, Ash unexpectedly charges at Freddy instead and slices his chainsaw across Freddy's chest (...Rrrrrrrrrr!...).

Freddy Krueger: "Ow!"

-Little bursts of blood spray of the wound (...Rrrrrrrrrr!...).

Freddy Krueger: "No wonder I prefer to live my dream world. I can't get hurt!"

-Freddy jumps at Ash and slices his claws across his chest (Shing!).

Ash: "Aah!"

-Little bursts of blood spray from the wound and Ash jumps back at Freddy to swing his chainsaw at him (...Rrrrrrrrrr!...). Freddy jumps out of the way and Jason shoves Ash to the ground (Thud!) (...Rrrrr...). Ash looks up to see Jason pick him up and pick him up in the air. Then, he looks up to see Jason violently slam him on the hood of his `73 Oldsmobile (Crunch!)

Ash: "Ow!"

-Jason picks him back up and slams him again (Crunch!). Jason proceeds to slam Ash over his car several more times (Crunch! Crunch! Crunch!).

Ash: "Ow! Ow! Ow, hey!!"

-That's when Freddy jumps in.

Freddy Krueger: "Let me have him!"

-Jason backs away and Freddy takes over. With Ash sprawled over the hood of his car, Freddy swipes his claws across Ash's bloody chest (Shing!).

Ash: "Aah!"

-Freddy swipes him more times (Shing! Shing! Shing!). Little bursts of blood spray from wounds.

Ash: "Aah! Aah! Aah!"

-That's when Ash punches Freddy away (Pow!). Before Ash can get back up, Jason comes back and picks him up.

Ash: "Oh, no!"

-Jason raises Ash high in the air, turns around and slams him to the ground (Thud!).

Ash: "Ow!"

-Jason backs away allowing Ash to relieve himself. Ash struggles to get up. Then, he cracks his back. He didn't have have the kind of strength anywhere close to Jason, but he was strong too in his own human way. He was muscled up.

Ash: "I'm going to ask this again: is this all you guys have to offer?"

-Suddenly, Jason jumps at Ash to shove him to the ground. Ash gets out of the way and ends up shoving Freddy to the ground instead (Thud!).

Freddy Krueger: "Hey!"

Jason Voorhees: "Sorry!"

-Freddy and Jason turn around to face Ash. But, Ash is not to be seen. Suddenly, Ash surprises Freddy from behind and punches him (Pow!). Freddy fights back and punches him (Pow!). Seeing Freddy and Jason punching each other, Jason charges at Ash. Ash, seeing Jason charging at him, jumps out of the way and Jason ends up shoving Freddy to the ground again (Thud!). Freddy sits up shaken and shrugs.

Freddy Krueger: "That's it!"

-Freddy gets up and unexpectedly shoves Jason to the ground (Thud!). Jason gets up to see Freddy charging for him again. He manages to grab Freddy and lift him in the air. Then, he violently slams him to the ground (Thud!).

Freddy Krueger: "Ow!"

-Freddy, getting angry, gets back up and charges at Jason to slice him with his claws. Jason jumps out of the way. Freddy charges back at Jason and manages to slice his claws across his chest (Shing!). Little bursts of blood spray from the wound. Then, Freddy proceeds to slice his claw at him more (Shing! Shing!). Ash leans back on his car and watches Freddy and Jason fight. When one of them got tired, he'd take on the other.

-Freddy is about slice Jason with his claw once more, when Jason grabs him by his neck. He raises Freddy high into the air, then violently slams him to the ground (Thud!).

Freddy Krueger: "Ow!"

-Then, Jason grabs the machete he tossed aside before and charges at Freddy. Freddy charges at Jason. Jason slices his machete across Freddy's chest (Shing!).

Freddy Krueger: "Aah!"

-Little bursts of blood spray from his wound. Freddy takes it and slices his claw at Jason (Shing!). Little bursts of blood spray from his wound and onto Freddy. Freddy and Jason machete and claw each other more, until Freddy suddenly slashes his claw into the Jason's chest. Little bursts of blood spray from the wound, but Jason takes it.

Freddy Krueger: "Ha! Like that?!"

-Freddy twists his claw around the innards of Jason's body.
Freddy Krueger: "How's that?! Want more?!"

-More bursts of blood sprays from the wounds, but Jason takes it. Then, he grabs Freddy and shoves him away. Jason cracks his back like nothing ever happened. Then, he charges for Freddy.

Freddy Krueger: "Oh, shit!"

-Ash watches from the sidelines.

Ash: "Man, can't anything stop them? Well, I will!"

-Ash charges for Freddy and Jason. Jason, meanwhile takes his machete and slices his machete at Freddy's chest (Shing!). Freddy is feeling weak.

Freddy Krueger: "Aah!"

-Jason, seeing Ash come for him, swipes him away sending him back to his `73 Oldsmobile. Ash bumps his head against his car and is knocked out. Freddy is about to swipe Jason, when he notices Ash unconscience. He gets an idea.

Freddy Krueger: "Hey!"

-Freddy shrugs and runs for Ash's car. He purposely slams into the car, bumping his head. He falls over unconscience and his body disappears into Ash's dream. Jason doesn't understand what just happened. Then, he does. Freddy knocked himself out, so that he could enter Ash's dream. Jason was not going to be left out of the action! He charges for the car and tries to knock himself out. But, he is unsuccessful. His damn zombie strength. he tries to knock himself out again.

CUT TO...Freddy in Ash's dream. The setting is the creepy woods from the two "Evil Dead" movies. Fog is everywhere and Freddy can hear a monster lurking around in the distance. It was the evil dead demon! From the point of view of the demon, it lurks between trees and foggy atmosphere.

Demon: "...Mwaaaaa!...."

-Freddy shrugs and walks through the creepy woods. He passes through misty fog and couple of trees. That's when he hears a chainsaw start up (Rrrrr!...)! Ash jumps out from behind a tree with his chainsaw and charges at Freddy (...Rrrrrrrrrr!...). Freddy charges for Ash and they meet head on. Ash makes the first move and severs Freddy's left arm off (...Rrrrrrrrrr!...)! Blood sprays from wound and sprays on Ash. Freddy is dumbfounded.

Freddy Krueger: "Why, you!"

-Freddy swings his clawed right arm at him, and Ash swiftly severs that arm off too (...Rrrrrrrrrr!...) Then, Ash stops his chainsaw (...Rrrrr...) and kicks Freddy to the ground. Freddy finds himself helpless. Ash looks down at poor Freddy.

Ash: "Oh, are you okay??"

-Ash starts up his chainsaw again (Rrrrr!...) and lunges for Freddy. Freddy manages to kick Ash away (...Rrrrrrrrrr!...). Ash falls over, leaving his chainsaw to clip his left leg (...Rrrrr...).

Ash: "Argh!"

-Bursts of blood spray from the wound. Ash gets back up and limps over to Freddy. That's when arms zip back out Freddy. Freddy gets back up.

Freddy Krueger: "They don't call me the dream master for nothing!"

-Ash starts up his chainsaw (Rrrrr!...) and lunges for Freddy. Freddy swipes the chainsaw off his of Ash's arm, leaving to fall aside. Ash, in slow motion, watches the chainsaw flail about through the air and disappear into the misty woods (Thu-u-ud!) (...Rrrrr...).

Ash: "Nooo...!"

-That's when they hear a cracking between two trees. A figure steps from the mist around the trees...Jason! Jason charges for Freddy and Ash. But, Freddy isn't letting Jason go.

Freddy Krueger: "Oh, no you don't!"

-Freddy uses his dream powers to possess the environment around him to stop Jason. Suddenly, tree roots come out of the ground and go for Jason. The tree roots wrap around him. They wrap around him tightly. Then, the tree roots pull back and whip Jason away at a tree.

-Jason bumps his head against the tree and is knocked out. He disappears and appears back in reality. Freddy was not going to let Jason interfere, he hogged Ash enough! Now, it was his turn. Freddy turns to Ash and glares at him.

Ash: "Oh, shit!"

-Freddy swipes his claws across Ash's chest (Shing!).

Ash: "Aah!"

-Freddy swipes his claws at him again (Shing!). Little bursts of blood spray from the wounds.

Ash: "Aah!"

-Freddy swipes Ash with his claws more (Shing! Shing! Shing!).

Ash: "Aah! Aah! Aah, hey!"

-Ash tries to fight back, but Freddy continues at him relentless. Ash was alseep now and Freddy was at his best with his dream powers. Freddy swipes Ash's from the left (Shing!).

Ash: "Aah!"

-Freddy swipes Ash's chest from the right (Shing!). Little bursts of blood spray from the wounds.

Ash: "Aah!"

-Freddy continues at Ash, and as he does, he and Ash are continually walking back further and further out through the creepy forest. In the distance, they can hear the evil dead demon. He was getting closer.

Demon: "...Mwaaaaa!..."

-Freddy swipes at Ash more (Shing! Shing!) and more of his blood is sprays from the wound.

Ash: "Aah! Aah!"

-By now, Freddy and Ash have walked back out of the creepy woods and right up to the creaky cabin, also from the two "Evil Dead" movies. Freddy swipes his claws at Ash's chest from the left (Shing!).

Ash: "Aah!"

Freddy Krueger: "How do you like that?!"

-Freddy swipes his claws at Ash's chest from the right (Shing!). Little bursts of blood sprays from the wounds.

Ash: "Aah!"

Freddy Krueger: "And, that?!"

-Freddy swipes at Ash once more across his chest (Shing!), and Ash falls back on the porch of the cabin. Ash was taking a beating. But, he manages to get up and crack his back. Ash was feeling weaker.

Ash: "You're good..."

-Ash takes a breather.

Ash: "But, not that good."

-Ash shrugs and goes into the cabin. Freddy follows. He walks in and looks around. He was standing in the main room. To his left was a table, chair and bookshelf. To his right was a couch and a grandfather clock. In front of the main room was the kitchen and the hallway leading to the bedrooms. Suddenly the door closes and Ash comes out from behind it to attack Freddy. Ash shoves Freddy to the floor (Thud!). Freddy gets up and is clotheslined by Ash (Thud!).

Ash: "How do you like that?!"

-Freddy gets up again and Ash clotheslines him again (Thud!).

Ash: "And, that?!"

-Freddy gets up once more, and seeing Ash charge for him, he uses dream powers on him. Suddenly, Ash finds a force shove him away and slam him against the wall (Slam!).

Ash: "Ow!"

-Freddy uses his powers to slam Ash against the wall again (Slam!).

Ash: "Ow! Hey!"

-Freddy slams Ash against the wall several more times (Slam! Slam! Slam!).

Ash: "Ow! Ow! Ow!"

-Freddy finally lets Ash go, and Ash falls to the ground (Thud!). Ash sits up and whips out his shotgun. He aims it at Freddy and shoots (Bang!).

Ash: "See this? This is my...boomstick!..."

-Ash gets up and shoots at Freddy more (Bang! Bang!). Freddy takes it.

Ash: "...It's a twelve-gauge double-barreled remington. S-Mart's top of the line. You can find it at the sporting goods department..."

-Ash pumps more bullets at Freddy (Bang! Bang! Bang). Freddy continues taking it.

Ash: "...That's right, this sweet baby was made in grand rapid Michigan. Retail is for about $195 dollars. It's got a walnut stock, coldwall blue steel and a hair trigger. Shop smart. Shop S-Mart."

-Ash finishes firing at Freddy (Bang!). He blows away the smoke coming from the shotgun barrel. Freddy, with a lot gun shot wounds, steps back and spits out of a mouthful of bullets. Then, the gun shot wounds heal themselves. Ash is dumbfounded.
Freddy Krueger: "Is that what you tell all your customers, Ash? I don't know, if that is what S-Mart's top line has to offer, then you're really screwing your customers."

Ash: "But, I don't understand..."

Freddy Krueger: "Don't you get it, Ashey boy? I am...eternal. You can't defeat me in my dream world. Here..."

-Freddy points to himself.

Freddy Krueger: "...I rule. Just as Jason is practically indestructible in reality. You see, that's why we have something over you. We have more powers of our own."

Ash: "Not if I can help it!"

-Ash charges at Freddy to attack him. Freddy tries to duck, but Ash ends up swiping the claw off Freddy's right burnt hand. Freddy, in slow motion, watches as his gloved claw flails about in the air and swipes the cabin floor (Shi-i-ing!).

Freddy Krueger: "Nooo...!"

-Then, he and Ash hear a creeping in the room. They look around. The creeping seemed to be everywhere. That's when they see the source of creeping sneak out from under the chair...Ash's severed right hand from "Evil Dead 2: Dead By Dawn"!

Ash: "My hand!"

-Seeing the Ash's severed hand, Freddy realizes something. Freddy immediately goes for the claw on the floor! Ash turns to his severed hand.

Ash: "Get it! Get the claw!"

-Freddy, in slow motion, jumps to the ground for his claw. That's when he sees the severed hand, in slow motion, beat him to it and push the claws over.

Freddy Krueger: "Nooo...!"

-Freddy falls to the floor (Thu-u-ud!) and misses his claws. Freddy looks over and sees his claws. He tries to grab them, but Ash's severed hand pushes them further away. Freddy struggles to crawl over and Ash's severed hand struggles to fit itself into the claw. Freddy crawls closer and is too late. Ash's severed hand rises with Freddy's claws on! Freddy sighs and groans.

Freddy Krueger: "Oh, crap!"

-Then, Ash's severed hand lunges at Freddy! Freddy rolls away to get away from it. The hand creeps after Freddy more. Finally, Freddy manages to quickly get up. He looks back down on floor, not seeing the clawed hand anywhere. But, he does hear it creep somewhere around the room. Freddy suddenly sees the hand show itself on top of the sofa. The hand jumps at Freddy.

-Freddy jumps out of its way and falls to the ground (Thud!). The hand lands back on the ground creeps towards Freddy. Freddy struggles to get away. All in the while, Ash is watching all this from the kitchen. He's eating popcorn, treating situation like entertainment. He laughs at poor Freddy.

Ash: "Ha ha!"

-Freddy struggles to back all the way to the corner of the room. He finds himself sitting and sprawled out at the corner with his legs open. The hand creeps up to him. It stops right in front of his crotch area. The hand points a claw at his crotch area.

Freddy Krueger: "No! For Christ's sake, no!"

-That's when the hand jumps up to attack Freddy. Freddy rolls over and quickly gets back up. He backs away to the center of the room. He hears the hand creeping around the room somewhere. Then, he sees the hand show itself again on top of the chair. The clawed hand jumps to attack Freddy once more.

-Freddy, in slow motion, sees the hand fly through the air in slow motion.

Freddy Kruege: "Nooo...!"

-He tries to get out of its way, but doesn't make it. The hand grasps onto Freddy's striped shirt, as he falls back to the ground (Thu-u-ud!). Laying on his back, Freddy looks up and sees the hand on his chest. The hand rises and creeps up his shirt.

Freddy Krueger: "Oh, shit!"

-Freddy tries to grab hold of the severed hand, but the hand digs its claws into Freddy's striped shirt.

Freddy Krueger: "Hey, my fedora!"

-Then, the hand digs its claws into Freddy's chest.

Freddy Krueger: "Argh!"

-The claw digs deeper and twists around the innards of Freddy's stomach. Freddy spits out blood.
Freddy Krueger: "Argh!"

-Freddy is helpless. His arms and legs violently shake as the claw digs around his body. He's being defeated by his own claw! Ash walks back in the main room and observes.

Ash: "Aww, poor Freddy!"

-Freddy, not taking the pain well, shakes more and spits blood on Ash.

Ash: "Eww! Thanks. Thanks a lot!"

-Ash wipes the blood of his face.

Ash: "Anyway, now that my trusty hand here has helped me a great deal, I'm going to finish you off. I'll be right back."

-Ash leaves the cabin and heads for the tool shed. He comes back into cabin and with a trash bag and weapon...a spare chainsaw! Freddy, feeling weaker and violently shaking here and there, struggles to gulp. Ash approaches helpless Freddy with the chainsaw. Then, he leans over. His severed, right hand digs back out of Freddy's body and onto Ash's left hand.

Ash: "Here buddy, let me get this dirty thing off of you."

-Ash takes the claws off his right, severed hand and dumps the clawed glove in the trash bag. The hand jumps off Ash and into another room. Then, Ash starts up his chainsaw (Rrrrr!...). He faces Freddy. Freddy is still out of it. His dream powers are too weak to heal him yet (...Rrrrrrrrrr!...). Ash takes the chainsaw and turns to Freddy (...Rrrrrrrrrr!...).

Ash: "Well...see ya!"

-Ash takes the chainsaw and makes full use of it on poor Freddy (...Rrrrrrrrrr!...). Cut back outside of the cabin as Ash continues to use his chainsaw (...Rrrrrrrrrr!...). The evil dead demon is lurking closer to the cabin. From its point of view, it lurks between trees and foggy atmosphere (...Rrrrrrrrrr!...).

Demon: "...Mwaaaaa!..."

-A moment later, Ash comes out of the cabin with a shovel and the trash bag. Poor Freddy, he was all cut up by the chainsaw-weilding Ash. His remains are in the trash back. Ash listens to the demon lurking in distance. It was getting closer. It was only a matter of time.

-Ash stops outside right in front of the creepy woods. Tossing the trash bag aside, he takes the shovel and starts digging a whole to bury Freddy's remains in. A moment later, Ash has dug a well layed hole for Freddy.

-Ash opens the trash bag and lets the remains of Freddy fall in the hole. His head, arms, legs, etc. Freddy's head looks up as he sees Ash take the shovel and drop dirt into the hole. More dirt falls over him and he eventually sees darkness. Ash, finished up with defeating and burying Freddy, shrugs.

Ash: "And, he said he was eternal! Yeah, right. Now, back to Jason!"

-Suddenly, Freddy, back in one piece again, bursts up from the hole. Ash is surprised.

Freddy Krueger: "Miss me??"

-Freddy slices his claws across Ash's chest (Shing!) and little bursts of blood spray from the wound.

Ash: "Aah!"

-Freddy slices his claw at him more (Shing! Shing!).

Ash: "Aah! Aah!"

-Freddy slices his claw at him from his left (Shing!).

Ash: "Aah!"

-Freddy slices his claw at Ash from his right (Shing!). Little bursts of blood spray from the wounds.

Ash: "Aah, Hey!"

-Then, Freddy kicks Ash down. Ash gets up and is clotheslined by Freddy (Thud!).

Freddy Krueger: "How do you like that?!"

-Ash gets back up and Freddy clotheslines him again (Thud!).

Freddy Krueger: "And, that?!"

-Ash gets up, and Freddy grabs him and slams him to the ground (Thud!).

Freddy Krueger: "And, what about that?!"

-That's when Ash kicks Freddy to the ground. Ash rolls over Freddy and punches him in his burnt face a couple of times (Pow! Pow!. Freddy rolls over Ash and punches him his bloody, cut up chest (Pow! Pow! Pow!). Ash rolls over back on Freddy to punch him in his burnt face (Pow! Pow!). Then, Freddy rolls over and slices Ash's chest with his claws (Shing!).

Ash: "Aah!"

-Freddy slices Ash with his claws again (Shing!).

Aah: "Aah, hey!"

-Freddy slices his claws across Ash's chest several more times (Shing! Shing! Shing!) and little bursts of blood spray from Ash's wounds onto Freddy. Freddy tastes the blood.

Freddy Krueger: "Mmm...not bad!"

-That's when Ash punches Freddy away (Pow!). Freddy falls back and Ash gets up. Freddy gets up, and seeing Ash about to clothesline in him, he grabs Ash by the neck and slams him on the ground (Thud!). Ash is shaken and out of it.

-Freddy takes the opportunity to grab Ash pick him up in the air. He takes his claws and is ready to slash his claws in Ash's chest, when he hears the evil dead demon nearby. It is right behind the cabin! The demon, from its point of view, goes for the cabin.

Demon: "...Mwaaaaa!..."

-It rushes to the cabin, breaks through the back door, goes through the hallway, breaks through hallway door, goes through the main room, breaks through front door and goes for Freddy and Ash just in front of the creepy woods!

Demon: "...Mwaaaaa!..."

-Suddenly, Freddy loses Ash in his grasp. Ash disappears from the dream. Ash was woken up by Jason! Freddy gulps as the demon goes for him.

Demon: "...Mwaaaaa!..."

Freddy Krueger: "Oh, shit!"

 

CUT BACK TO...Jason and Ash. Jason managed to wake up Ash and is now slamming him against the hood of his `73 Oldsmobile (Crunch! Crunch! Crunch!). Ash groans.

Ash: "Ow! Not this again!"

-Ash starts up his chainsaw (Rrrrr!...) and clips the right side of Jason's body. Jason stops his slamming motion, but still holds his grasp on Ash (...Rrrrrrrrrr!...). He was taking it (...Rrrrrrrrrr!...). Ash clips at Jason more, and Jason finally loses his grip on him and falls back (...Rrrrr...). Ash gets up from the hood of his car and cracks his back. Then, Jason gets up and crack his back like nothing ever happened.

Ash: "It's between you and me now."

-Ash glares at Jason intensely and Jason stares Ash down with his one good eye. That's when a car with three teenagers, Billy, Rod and Chad, drives into the lot and parks. The teenagers all have beers in their hand and Billy is drunk.

Billy: "...Have I told you guys how much I love you?!"

-Rod sighs and goes along with it.

Rod: "Yes, yes you have."

-Billy, in his drunken state, tries to hug Rod. Rod resists. Then, the three teenagers notice Jason and Ash at the other end of the parking lot.

Billy: "Whoa! Am I drunk, or is that Jason and Ash?!"

Rod: "Both!"

Billy: "Oh, good! Thank goodness! I thought was going crazy."

Chad: "Who's Jason? And, who's Ash?"

Rod: "Jason, or Jason Voorhees, is that hockey goalie killer guy from those 'Friday The 13th' movies. And, Ash is from the 'Evil Dead' movies and 'Army of Darkness'."

Billy: "Yeah, man! Those guys are awesome!"

Chad: "Oh, right. Those guys. I never really cared for their movies that much."

-Suddenly, they see Ash lunge at Jason with his chainsaw (Rrrrr!...). Jason ducks and slices his machete across Ash's chest (Shing!). Little bursts of blood spray from his wound. Ash attacks back with his chainsaw and clips at Jason's chest (...Rrrrrrrrrr!...).

Chad: "But, I do now!"

Billy: "Hey! This must be 'Jason vs. Ash'!"

-Jason swings his machete at Ash. Ash ducks low and kicks Jason away. Then, he trips him. Jason falls over and Ash rises with his chainsaw (...Rrrrrrrrrr!...). He takes the chainsaw and swings low at Jason. He slashes the chainsaw into his Jason's chest. Little bursts of blood spray from the wound.

Rod: "'Jason vs. Ash'?"

Billy: "Yeah! Remember 'Freddy vs. Jason' last year? This must be the sequel!"

Rod: "Then, where's Freddy?"

Billy: "That's the point! Jason obviously won, so Freddy can't be here to fight in the sequel. I told you Jason won! You owe me $100!"

Rod: "Whatever!"

-Ash chainsaws Jason's chest more (...Rrrrrrrrrr!...) and Jason falls back. Jason's arms and legs violently shake (...Rrrrrrrrrr!...). Finally, Jason manages to kick Ash away (...Rrrrrrrrrr!...). Ash falls back and his chainsaw clips his leg (...Rrrrr...).

Ash: "Argh!"

-Ash gets up. Jason follows. They face each other for a moment. Then, Jason shoves Ash to the ground (Thud!). Jason picks him up, grasps his neck, lifts him high in the air and walks back up to Ash's `73 Oldsmobile. Then, he proceeds to violently slam Ash onto the hood (Crunch!).

Ash: "Ow, hey!"

-Jason slams him on his more times (Crunch! Crunch! Crunch!).

Ash: "Ow! Ow! Ow!"

Rod: "Jason totally has Ash!"

Chad: "Let's call Bob! And, Jamie, Lee, Curtis, John, and Lloyd! And everyone else! We should call our friends and tell them to come here and see this! They'll love it!"

Rod: "Yeah, they will!"

-Rod whips out his cell phone to call all his friends. So does Chad. Billy, the drunken fool he is, is totally into the fight.

Billy: "Go, Jason!"

-Jason slams Ash onto his hood one more time (Crunch!), and backs away. Ash struggles to get up and crack his back. He is feeling weaker, but he's still there.

Ash: "Jeez, man! What is it with you and slamming?"

-Jason shrugs and whips out his machete (Shing!).

Ash: "Oh, shit!"

-Jason goes to swing his machete at Ash, but Ash ducks away. Jason turns around to get him again, and Ash tries to shove him to the ground. Jason, however, doesn't flinch. He's a giant. Jason looks down at Ash with his one good eye.

Ash: "Oh, shit!"

-Ash starts up his chainsaw (Rrrrr!...) and attempts to swing it at Jason. But, Jason swipes the chainsaw off Ash's right arm and throws it aside. Ash, in slow motion, watches as his chainsaw flails about through the air and hits cement ground of the parking lot (Thu-u-ud!).

Ash: "Nooo...!"

-Then, Jason slices his machete across Ash's bloody chest (Shing!).

Ash: "Aah!"

-Jason swings his machete at him again (Shing!).

Ash: "Aah!"

-Ash backs away and Jason follows him to machete him more (Shing! Shing!).

Ash: "Aah! Aah, hey!"

-Little bursts of blood spray from the wound. Jason swings his machete across Ash's chest from the left (Shing!).

Ash: "Aah!"

-Jason swings his machete at Ash's chest from the right (Shing!).

Ash: "Aah!"

-Little bursts of blood sprays from the wound and Ash falls back. Laying on his back, Ash sees Jason swing his machete at him. Ash ducks and tries to crawl away. Jason follows and slices his machete across his back (Shing!).

Ash: "Aah!"

-Jason swings his machete across his back from the left (Shing!).

Ash: "Aah!"

-Jason swings his machete across Ash's back from the right (Shing!).

Ash: "Aah!"

-Little bursts of blood spray from Ash's poor back. Ash, losing it, loses his gripping and falls flat on his chest.

Ash: "Ow."

-Then, Jason takes his machete and tries to sink it into Ash's body. Ash sees the move coming, and picks himself to crawl away. Jason follows again and slices his machete across Ash's back (Shing!).

Ash: "Aah!"

-Jason dices his machete at Ash's back more (Shing!).

Ash: "Aah!"

-Jason continues to follow the struggling Ash and proceeds to relentlessly slice and dice his back until Ash has reached all the way to Jason's BMW X5 SUV at the other side of the parking lot. Ash, losing it, loses his gripping and falls flat on his chest.

-Jason takes his machete and swings it to sink into Ash's back. Ash rolls over to the left, and Jason misses and slashes the cement (Shing!). Jason follows to sink his machete into him again and Ash rolls back to the right (Shing!). Jason continues after Ash, he was not going to let him go! Meanwhile, the numerous friends of Billy, Rod and Chad, have arrived to see the fight.

Jamie: "Whoa!"

Lee: "That is amazing!"

Curtis: "Who thought they'd go at it?"

Rod: "I told you guys I wasn't making this up!"

Chad: "Wow, this makes me want to give their movies another chance."

Billy: "Go, Jason!"

-Meanwhile, Ash rolls over from Jason again, and the machete slashes the cement (Shing!). Finally, Ash pulls one on Jason and unexpectedly kicks him in the groin.

Billy, Rod, Chad and Friends: "Ow!"

-Jason, however, didn't feel a thing. Jason looks down at Ash with his good eye.

Ash: "Oh, shit!"

-Jason takes his machete to swing at Ash, but Ash manages to kick Jason away. Jason doesn't fall back, but is backed away. Ash uses the chance to finally get back up and stand on his two feet. He cracks his back and faces Jason with determination.

Ash: "Go ahead! Hit me!"

-Jason goes to swing his machete at Ash, but Ash ducks out of the way.

Ash: "Too slow! Try again!"

-Jason shrugs and lunges at Ash to machete at him, and Ash ducks away.

Ash: "Too slow again! Go ahead, try once more!"

-Jason goes for Ash again with his machete. Ash, unexpectedly, shoves Jason with the sheer strength he has left and Jason falls back and drops his machete.

Ash: "Ha!"

-Jason, in slow motion, watches as his machete flails about in the air and eventually swipes the cement ground of the parking lot (Shing!).

Ash: "Now, you're going down..."

-Ash takes off his shirt revealing his bloody, cut up chest.

Billy, Rod, Chad and Friends: "Ow!"

Ash: "...For this!"

-Ash swings the machete at Jason, and Jason ducks away. Ash swings it at Jason again and manages to slice it across chest (Shing!). Little bursts of blood spray from the wound.

Ash: "How do you like that?!"

-Ash swings the machete at Jason's chest again (Shing!).

Ash: "And, that?!"

-Jason backs away. Ash follows and swings the machete at Jason once more (Shing!).

Ash: "And, this?!"

-Jason takes the slicing like its nothing. Then, Ash takes the machete and sinks it into Jason's chest.

Ash: "And, how do you like this?!"

-Ash sinks the machete deeper into Jason's chest and proceeds to twist it around the innards of his stomach. More bursts of blood spray from the wounds.

Ash: "And, I'm sure you love that, too!"

-That's when Jason grabs Ash, lifts him high in the air and violently slams him to the ground (Thud!).

Ash: "Ow!"

-Ash looks up and watches as Jason grabs the end of the machete and slowly, gradually pulls it out of his stomach. Then, he cracks his back like nothing ever happened. Jason, now grasping the machete in his hand, looks down at Ash with his one good eye.

Ash: "Oh, shit!"

-Ash quickly gets up and runs for his car. Jason shrugs and follows him.

Chad: "Hey, Ash is chickening out!"

-Ash makes to his car.

Rod: "No, he isn't. Don't you see, he left his chainsaw by his car. He's going to use it against Jason."

-And, Rod is right. Ash grabs the chainsaw and sets on the hood of his car. He proceeds to attach it back on his arm and secure the straps. Ash turns around to face a charging Jason. Then, he starts up his chainsaw (Rrrrr!...) and charges for him.

Rob: "Here he comes! Jason is going to get it!"

Billy: "Go, Jason!"

-Jason and Ash meet head on, and Jason swings his machete at him (...Rrrrrrrrrr!...). Ash defends himself and intercepts the machete (Shing!). Jason swings the machete at Ash once more and Ash intercepts it with his chainsaw (...Rrrrrrrrrr!...). Jason and Ash were sword fighting with their prized weapons again!


-Ash surprises Jason and swings his chainsaw at Jason's left side to clip it (...Rrrrrrrrrr!...). Jason takes it and swings his machete at Ash. Ash swings his chainsaw to intercept Jason's attack (Shing!). Then, Jason swings his machete directly at Ash's chest. Ash falls back and his chainsaw clips his leg (...Rrrrr...).

Ash: "Argh!"

-Ash looks at the machete sticking into his chest. It isn't serious, it's only sticking partially into his stomach. That's when Jason suddenly whips his machete out of Ash's chest in a very quick movement (Shing!).

Ash: "Aah!"

-Ash glares up at Jason and gets up. He cracks his back. Then, Jason goes to swing his machete at Ash. Ash intercepts it with his chainsaw (...Rrrrrrrrrr!...) and knocks it out of Jason's hand. Jason, in slow motion, watches as the machete, again, flails about in the air and swipes the cement ground (Shi-i-ing!).

-Then, he sees Ash attack him with his chainsaw (...Rrrrrrrrrr!...). Ash takes his chainsaw and swings it directly at Jason's chest (...Rrrrrrrrrr!...). Jason goes to shove Ash, but Ash gets away in time. Then, Ash chainsaws at Jason's chest again (...Rrrrrrrrrr!...). Little bursts of blood spray from the wounds. Ash proceeds to swing the machete at Jason's chest from the left (...Rrrrrrrrrr!...).

Billy, Rod, Chad and Friends: "Whoa!"

-Ash proceeds to swings the machete at Jason's chest from the right (...Rrrrrrrrrr!...).

Billy, Rod, Chad and Friends: "Whoa!"

-Jason tries to shove Ash away, but Ash gets him one more time with his chainsaw (...Rrrrrrrrrr!...), and he falls back. Jason, laying on his back, looks up and sees Ash look down at him.

Ash: "You aren't so tough! You aren't so tough at all!"

-Jason tries to get up and attack Ash, but Ash swings his chainsaw at Jason's chest (...Rrrrrrrrrr!...). Then, Ash chainsaws at his chest more (...Rrrrrrrrrr!...). Little bursts of blood sprays from the wound.

Rod: "Oh, crap! Ash is getting Jason!"

Billy: "Come on, Jason!"

-Jason turns around and struggles top crawl away from the overpowering Ash (...Rrrrrrrrrr!...). Ash follows and slices his chainsaw across Jason's back (...Rrrrrrrrrr!...). Then, he dices his chainsaw at his back (...Rrrrrrrrrr!...). Jason takes it and crawls further. Ash keeps it up and swings his chainsaw across Jason's back from the left (...Rrrrrrrrrr!...). Little bursts of blood spray from the wounds. Then, Ash swings his chainsaw across Jason's back from the right (...Rrrrrrrrrr!...).

-Jason proceeds to crawl away from Ash and Ash proceeds to continue slicing and dicing at Jason's back with his chainsaw (...Rrrrrrrrrr!...). More and more bursts of blood spray from Jason's bloody, cut up back.

-Ash swings his chainsaw at Jason from the left (...Rrrrrrrrrr!...). He swings his chainsaw from the right (...Rrrrrrrrrr!...). He swings the chainsaw from the left again (...Rrrrrrrrrr!...). And, he proceeds to swing his chainsaw from the right once more (...Rrrrrrrrrr!...).

-They have now reached Jason's BMW X5 at the other side of the parking lot. Jason is still taking the chainsawing like a man (...Rrrrrrrrrr!...). That's when Ash takes the chainsaw and swings it directly into Jason's back (...Rrrrrrrrrr!...). He sinks it into Jason's back, hitting his nerves (...Rrrrrrrrrr!...). Jason loses his gripping and falls flat on the ground. He violently shakes his arm and legs (...Rrrrrrrrrr!...). Ash chainsaws into Jason's back more (...Rrrrrrrrrr!...). Jason is not taking this well (...Rrrrrrrrrr!...).

Rod: "Oh, no! I think he's really getting Jason now!"

Billy: "Come on, Jason! You can do it!"

-Ash continues chainsawing into Jason's back and Jason continues violently shaking his arms and his legs (...Rrrrrrrrrr!...). As Ash chainsaws at Jason's back, Jason remembers when little Tommy Jarvis first killed him. First, Tommy surprised him and macheted him in the face. Upon action, Jason weakly fell to his knees. And, when the rest of his body fell forward, the machete sticking into his face hit the ground and sunk deeper into his head and out the back.

-Tommy rejoiced. Then, Jason weakly moved his fingers. Tommy noticed, took the machete and relentlessly swung it at Jason like never before (Shing! Shing! Shing! Shing!).

Tommy Jarvis: "Die! Die! Die! Die!..."

-Ash continues chainsawing at Jason's back (...Rrrrrrrrrr!...)

Ash: "Die, pussface! Die already! Something has to kill you!"

-Jason continues remembering Tommy relentlessly swing the machete at him (Shing! Shing! Shing! Shing!).

Tommy Jarvis: "...Die! Die! Die! Die!..."

-That's when Jason feels more determination and goes for it (...Rrrrrrrrrr!...). As Ash continues chainsawing at his back, Jason controls his shaking arms and legs and manages to pick himself up (...Rrrrrrrrrr!...).

Ash: "What?!"

-Ash sinks his chainsaw deeper into Jason's back, but Jason's still takes it (...Rrrrrrrrrr!...). Jason starts to get up (...Rrrrrrrrrr!...). But, Ash surprises Jason and sinks his chains completely through his stomach and out the front (...Rrrrrrrrrr!...). Jason tries to take it. Then, Ash tries twisting the chainsaw around the innards of Jason's stomach (...Rrrrrrrrrr!...). Jason can't take it. He falls back forward on the ground (...Rrrrrrrrrr!...).

Ash: "Oh, no you aren't! It's too late to come back now!"

-Ash takes his chainsaw and sinks it back into Jason's back (...Rrrrrrrrrr!...). Jason's body violently shake around (...Rrrrrrrrrr!...). Then, Ash sinks his chainsaw in repeatedly and relentlessly (...Rrrrrrrrrr!...).

Ash: "Die! Die! Die! Die!...

-Ash continues sinking his chainsaw in his back (...Rrrrrrrrrr!...) and Jason's body continues violently shaking . Little bursts of blood sprays from Jason's bloody, cut up back.

Ash: "...Die! Die! Die! Die!..."

-The teenagers look in despair (...Rrrrrrrrrr!...).

Billy: "Jason?! Is Jason okay? Is he coming back?"

-Rod pats Billy on the back (...Rrrrrrrrrr!...).

Rod: "I don't know."

-Ash, still burying his chainsaw into Jason's back, continues in his crazy manner (...Rrrrrrrrrr!...).

Ash: "...Die! Die! Die! Die!..."

-Finally, Jason's body stops shaking. Ash stops his chainsaw (...Rrrrr...) and steps back. Jason was motionless. Ash shrugs and starts to walk away. Then, he immediately looks back to see if Jason was coming back again. He was still motionless and sprawled out on the cement. Ash rejoices.

Ash: "Yes! Yes! Yes, yes, yes! I did it! I did it! I got Jason! And, Freddy too!"

-Suddenly, Freddy comes out nowhere to shove Ash to the ground (Thud!). He came back from the nightmare.

Freddy Krueger: "Not me!"

-The teenagers look in surprise.

Rod: "Hey, there's Freddy! This must be 'Freddy vs. Jason vs. Ash'!"

Chad: "'Freddy vs. Jason vs. Ash'?"

Rod: "Yeah, 'Freddy vs. Jason vs. Ash'!"

Jamie: "Well, it's 'Freddy vs. Ash' now."

Billy: "Jason..."

-Ash looks up to see that Freddy survived the evil dead demon from the dream.

Ash: "You?!"

Freddy Krueger: "Yes, me! I'm back and I'm after you!"

Ash: "But, how?!"

Freddy Krueger: "What, that demon? There's a reason I'm known as the Dream Master!"

-Ash grabs Ash gets him back up.

Freddy Krueger: "And, The Springwood Slasher!"

-Ash takes his clawed hand and slashes the claws across Ash's bare chest (Shing!).

Ash: "Aah!"

-Freddy swings his claws at him again (Shing!). Little bursts of blood spray from the wounds.

Ash: "Aah!"

-Freddy swings his claws from the left (Shing!).

Ash: "Aah!"

-Freddy swings his claws from the right (Shing!).

Ash: "Aah!"

-Then, in a desperate move, Ash starts up his chainsaw (Rrrrrr!...) and swings it at Freddy. Freddy ducks and swings his claws across Ash's chest (Shing!).

Ash: "Aah, hey!"

-Ash swings his chainsaw at Freddy again (...Rrrrrrrrrr!...). Freddy manages to swipe it off his arm. Ash, in slow motion, sees his chainsaw break off his arm, flail about in the air, and hit on the ground (Thu-u-ud!) (...Rrrrr...).

Ash: "Nooo...!"

-Then, Ash's chest is suddenly slashed by Freddy (Shing!).

Ash: "Aah!"

-Freddy slashes his claws across Ash's chest again (Shing!).

Ash: "Aah!"

-Freddy slashes his claws at Ash one more and little bursts of blood sprays from the various wounds (Shing!).

Ash: "Aah!"

-That's when Ash punches Freddy in his burnt face (Pow!). Freddy punches Ash back (Pow!). Then, Freddy grabs Ash and slams him to the ground (Thud!). Ash, shaken, gets up and cracks his back. He is now considerably weaker than before. But, he was still there. He charges at Freddy to shove him, but Freddy ducks away. Then, Freddy grabs Ash again and slams him to the ground again (Thud!).

-Ash gets up and is clotheslined (Thud!). Ash gets back up and Freddy clotheslines him again (Thud!). Ash gets up once more, and seeing Ash charge for him, he ducks away. Then, Ash punches Freddy in his burnt face (Pow!). Freddy punches him back (Pow!). Ash punches Freddy again (Pow!). And, Ash punches Freddy once more (Pow!). That's when Ash grabs Freddy and slams him to the ground (Thud!). Freddy is shaken.

Ash: "Ha! Got you back!"

-Freddy gets back up. He was still in the game too.

Freddy Krueger: "This is it. This the end of the of line. And, you're going down!"

Freddy charges at Ash to shove him, and Ash ducks away. Freddy charges at Ash again and Ash ducks. Then, Ash charges at Freddy. Freddys sees him coming and throws a mean punch in his face (POW!). Ash backs away.

Ash: "Ow."

-Ash jumps for Freddy, and Freddy ducks. Then, Freddy slashes his claws across Ash's bare, bloody chest (Shing!).

Ash: "Aah!"

-Freddy slashes his claws at him again (Shing!).

Ash: "Aah!"

-Freddy slashes his claws across Ash's chest once more and little bursts of blood spray from the wound (Shing!).

Ash: "Aah!"

-That's when Ash grabs Freddy to slam him against the ground. But, Freddy punches him in his face and Ash falls back against his `73 Oldsmobile. As it stands, Freddy fought Ash from the middle ground right back to Ash's car at the other end of the parking lot. Ash gets up to attack Freddy, but Freddy grabs him and slams him on the hood of his car (Crunch!).

Ash: "Ow!"

Freddy Krueger: "How do you like that?!"

-Freddy picks Ash back up and slams him against the hood again (Crunch!).

Ash: "Ow! Hey!"

Freddy Krueger: "And, this?!"

-Freddy slams Ash against the hood of his car once more (Crunch!).

Freddy Krueger: "And, what about that?!"

-Freddy proceeds to slam Ash against his car more times (Crunch! Crunch! Crunch!)

Ash: "Ow! Ow! Ow, hey!"

-Freddy lets Ash go and backs away. Ash gets up and struggles to crack his back. He was weaker. Seeing Ash in his vulnerable state, Freddy runs for it and shoves him against the hood (Crunch!). Ash falls back and is sprawled over the hood of his car. Freddy climbs up and helps Ash up. Then, he throws a mean him in his face (POW!).

Ash: "Ow!"

-Ash glares back at Freddy and punches him in his burnt face (Pow!). Freddy punches Ash back (Pow!). Freddy punches Ash in his face (Pow!). Then, he slashes his claws across Ash's bare, bloody and cut up, chest (Shing!). Little bursts of blood spray from the wound.

Ash: "Aah!"

-Freddy goes to slash his claws at Ash again, and Ash, in a desperate move, manages swipe the claw off Freddy's right, burnt hand and tosses it aside. Freddy, in slow motion, looks as he sees his claws flail about in the air and slash the cement ground of the parking lot (Shi-i-ing!).

Freddy Krueger: "Nooo...!"

-Then, Freddy looks to see Ash punch him in his burnt face (Pow!). Ash punches Freddy again (Pow!).

Ash: "How do you like that?!"

-Ash punches Freddy once more (Pow!).

Ash: "And, that?!"

-Ash punches Freddy one more time (Pow!).

Ash: "And, how do you like this?!"

-Ash, now proceeds to grabs Freddy and slam him over the car. But, Freddy punches Ash back. Ash walks back, almost falling off the hood of his car. He maintains his footing, then goes over to shove Freddy. But, Freddy punches him first (Pow!). And, he punches Ash again (Pow!). Then, Freddy punches him one more time (Pow!).

-Ash is dazed. He can't take any more of this fight. He struggles to punch Freddy, but misses and punches the air.

Ash: "Hey, where are you??"

-Seeing Ash in his weak state, Freddy punches him in his face (Pow!). Freddy punches him again (Pow!). Then, Freddy proceeds to throw one more mean punch at him (POW!). Ash nearly falls over in his weak state, and Freddy catches him and picks him back up. Then, Freddy wraps his arm Ash and gets ready to slam Ash and himself over the roof of the `73 Oldsmobile.

-The teenagers, excited as hell, watch jumps with Ash to slam him into the car. He was pulling the Rock Bottom!

Rod: "Hey, Freddy's pulling the Rock Bottom on Ash!"

Chad: "But, that's The Rock's move!"

Rod: "I know, it's so cool!"

-Freddy pulls the Rock Botton on Ash and falls with him over the car roof. Ash slams into the car, back first, and in a brilliant moment of destruction, the roof crushes and caves in, while the windshield and side windows shatter into numerous pieces of glass around the car. Freddy and Ash are finished.

Teenagers: "Whoa!"

-A silent moment passes and the teenagers turn to each other. Would one of them rise from the banged up car? Would Freddy first rise and be the winner? Would Ash? Or, would Jason still come back and rise before them? The teenagers are in despair and suspense.

-That's when they hear crackling. But, not from the car. It was Jason! Jason struggled to crack his back and move his arms and legs about.

Billy: "It's Jason! It's Jason! Jason's came back!"

-Then, a crackling can be heard from the banged up from car. They see a figure struggle to pick himself up...Freddy!

Rod: "Freddy's back too!

Chad: "Whoever gets up first wins!"

-Jason struggles to crack his back more. Then, he starts to pick himself up. Back on the car, Freddy is starting to get himself up to. Back on the middle ground, Jason sits himself up on his knees. Freddy struggles to picks himself up too, but is losing to Jason.

Billy: "Jason is going to win! Jason is going to win!"

-That's when Jason, feeling too weak, falls forward flat on his chest.

Billy: "Jason?"

Rod: "Freddy is going to win! Freddy is going to win!"

-Freddy struggles to get up more. He barely sits himself onto his knees.

Rod: "It's Freddy! It's Freddy!"

-Then, Ash starts to pick himself up.

Chad: "Ash is getting up! Ash is getting up!"

-Freddy struggles to stand up more. Ash, however, picks himself up and starts to catch up to Freddy. Freddy stands up more. Ash catches up with him.

Chad: "Ash is going to win! Ash is going to win!"

-Then, Ash falls back over, feeling too weak. He lost it. Freddy struggles to stretch knees...and rises up! Freddy is the winner! The teenagers rejoice and freak out.

Rod: "Freddy won! Freddy is the winner!"

-Then Jason, feeling stronger, suddenly sits up. He stands up and proceeds to crack his back like nothing ever happened. He was back!

Billy: "Jason's okay! Jason's second!"

-Ash, however, is totally burned out. He's out cold over his banged up `73 Oldsmobile. Freddy jumps off the car and limply walks over to Jason.

Freddy Krueger: "Hey, we did it."

Jason Voorhees: "We did?"

Freddy Krueger: "Well, I did."

-Freddy and Jason rejoice with the screaming teenagers. Rod and Chad, congratulate Freddy on his win. Jason gets drunk with Billy.

CUT TO...the next morning as Ash finds himself waking up in a hospital bed. He looks around the room, surprised.

Ash: "What? What is this? Where am I?"

-A nurse, an older African-American woman checking his monitor, turns to him.
Nurse: "Oh, you're up."

Ash: "From what? Why am I here?"

Nurse: "This is St. Agnes Hospital in New York. You were brought here last night."

Ash: "I was? By whom?"

Nurse: "Oh, you were brought back by these two sweet boys. I think there names were Jason and Freddy."

-Ash thinks back to the previous night and remembers the fight.

Ash: "Oh, crap! That's right. I lost against Freddy! That Freddy, I can't believe he Rock-bottomed me!"

Nurse: "Oh, you must be delirious, dear. Those sweet boys said that some gang beat up in a street fight. Poor dear, you were beat up and scarred all over the your body."

-Ash notices his chest wrapped up in guaze.

Ash: "Yeah, well, I taught Freddy and Jason a lesson too!"

-The nurse laughs at Ash's "delirious" state. Ash mutters to himself.

Ash: "I can't believe this! Freddy and Jason beat me in the fight. Then, they have the audacity to bring me to the hospital. How embarrassing! The nerve of them to rub my loss in my face in such a way! That Freddy and Jason, I'll teach them a lesson. Naw, not Jason. I showed him! I taught him a thing or two about my chainsaw! Now, I have to get Freddy! Oh, I'll show him!"

Nurse: "Speaking of those sweet boys, they donated you their blood."

Ash: "What?!"

Nurse: "Yes. You lost a lot of blood in that fight. Those sweet boys, they were nice enough to donate a quart of their own blood to help you recover!"

-Ash can't believe his ears. Not only did Freddy and Jason bring him to the hospital after beating him up, they also donated a quart of blood to him! They're rubbing his loss in his face even more with that! Ash freaks out.

Ash: "Nooo...!"

THE END