Episode Twenty-Six

Friday The 13th

Friday, February 13, 2004...

-It is late morning and Michael is asleep in his pad of the apartment complex he lives in. Suddenly, he is woken up by his annoying alarm clock (Ring! Ring! Ring! Ring!...). He turns over and groggily opens his eyes (...Ring! Ring! Ring! Ring!...). Hearing the annoying alarm clock, he struggles to reach over to his night stand to set it off (...Ring! Ring! Ring! Ring!...).

-Michael tries finding the alarm clock, but ends up grabbing a handful of bloody knives (...Ring! Ring! Ring! Ring!...). Getting really annoyed by his alarm clock, he puts his hands in a fist and starts banging everything things on the night stand (...Ring! Ring! Ring! Ring!...). Michael bangs his fist on several bloody knives (...Ring! Ring! Ring! Ring!...). He ends up cutting his hand on one of the knives (...Ring! Ring! Ring! Ring!...). Getting frustrated, he bangs his fist once more and finally bangs the alarm clock (..Ring! Ring! Ri...), smashing it to pieces.

-Michael gets out of bed and heads over to his closet. He opens the side-opening doors revealing his several pairs of blue overalls and eight white-sprayed Halloween masks. His mask collection contains a smooth mask, a lesser smooth mask, a smoother mask, an ugly mask, a weird mask, a super smooth mask, a smooth yet wrinkly mask, and a smoother mask with blonde hair.

-Michael puts on a pair of overalls. Then, he looks at his mask collection. He points his finger at the first mask and starts a familiar rhyme.

Michael Myers: "Ee nee mee nee mighty moe..."

-He points to the next mask after every little word. He is now pointing to the smooth yet wrinkly mask from "Halloween: Resurrection."

Michael Myers: "...Catch a tiger by the toe..."

-He is now pointing to the weird mask from "Halloween 6: The Curse of Michael Myers."

Michael Myers: "...If he hollers, let him go..."

-He is now pointing to the smoother mask from "Halloween 4: The Return of Michael Myers."

Michael Myers: "...So, ee nee mee nee mighty moe."

-Michael is now pointing to the lesser smooth mask from "Halloween II." He shrugs, it is a pretty good mask. He grabs it from the top shelf and to put it on. That's when he sees jelly spread all over the insides of it.

Michael Myers: "What?!"

-Michael looks over at calendar.

Michael Myers: "Crap! Friday The 13th!"

-On every Friday the 13th date, Jason always played pranks on him and Freddy. It was a tradition in honor of his "Friday The 13th" series. He was the master at pranks!

Michael Myers: "Great, this means I have to it cleaned out. This is a new low for Jason."

-Michael puts the lesser smooth mask aside and grabs the smooth mask from the original "Halloween." Jason spread peanut butter all over the insides.

Michael Myers: "What did he do, mess up all my masks?"

-Michael checks the smoother mask, weird mask, super smooth mask, and smooth yet wrinkly mask. They all have either peanut butter or jelly spread all over their insides.

Michael Myers: "I can't believe this!"

-Michael looks at the two remaining masks left over. The ugly mask from "Halloween 5: The Revenge of Michael Myers" and the smoother mask with blonde hair from "Halloween 4: The Return of Michael Myers." Michael shudders. After the disaster "Halloween 5" turned out to be, he swore he would never wear the ugly mask again. Besides, it was ugly. He didn't even know why he still had it.

-The other mask was a substitute for his regular mask in "Halloween 4." At one point during production, he couldn't find the regular smoother mask, so he had to go wear a similar mask with blonde hair for one scene. You can see Michael wearing it when he comes out of nowhere to attack Dr. Loomis in the school house scene. Michael was embarrassed about that and swore to never wear that again too.

-Michael looks at the two masks. He has to pick one of them to wear that day. He looks at the ugly mask. Then, the blonde mask. Back to the ugly mask. And, to the blonde mask once more. Finally, he grabs ugly mask. No peanut butter or jelly. He gulps as he starts to put it on. As he puts it on, he temporarily sees darkness. That's when he is suddenly woken in bed up by his annoying alarm clock again (Ring! Ring! Ring! Ring!...).

-Michael sighs of relief. It was only a dream of the last Friday the 13th date when Jason pranked him (...Ring! Ring! Ring! Ring!...). Getting really annoyed by his alarm clock, he grabs it from the night stand (...Ring! Ring! Ring! Ring!...), and he flings out the window of his room. The alarm clock breaks through the glass (...Ring! Ring! Ring! Ring!...), glass shatters on his floor and outside the high floor of his building (...Ring! Ring! Ring! Ring!...), and the alarm clock falls from the high floor of the apartment complex (...Ring! Ring! Ri...). Michael sighs of relief as the annoying ringing fades.

-Down on the ground, Jason is driving Freddy in his BMW X5 SUV, looking a little banged up, into the underground parking lot of Michael's apartment building. Just as they drive in, the alarm clock (...Ring! Ring! Ring! Ring!...) falls from the heavens of the sky and bumps the head of a woman driving a convertible (Ring! Ring! Bonk!).

-The woman, getting knocked out, crashes into the rear end of another car (craaaaash!), and the other car crashes into another car (craaaaash!), causing the rest of cars on the road to crash into each other, via front-to-back, front-to-side, back-to-side, etc. (Craaaaash! Cruuuuunch!). It is a big mess (Craaaaash! Cruuuuunch!).

-Back in his pad, Michael is startled by the crashing and crunching down on the ground. He shrugs. Then, he looks over at the calendar. It was really Friday, August 13, 2004! He sighs and hangs his head. It was still Jason's day to prank him and Freddy.

Michael Myers: "Crap."

-Michael sighs, gets up and heads over to his closet. He opens up the side-opening doors revealing his several pairs of blue overalls and mask collection. He puts on a pair of overalls. Then, he looks at his Halloween masks. He's almost afraid to check them out. Finally, he grabs the smooth mask from his original "Halloween" and looks inside the mask...peanut butter!

Michael Myers: "Darn!"

-He grabs the lesser smooth mask from "Halloween II"...jelly!

Michael Myers: "Damn!"

-Michael checks the rest of the masks, excluding the ugly mask and blonde mask. Peanut butter, jelly, peanut butter and jelly.

Michael Myers: "Damn him!"

-He, again, was facing the ugly mask and blonde mask. Michael grabs the ugly mask from "Halloween 5" again. He would still rather wear that than the blonde mask. But to Michael's surprise, the ugly mask had jelly spread all over the insides.

Michael Myers: "Crap! I can't believe this!"

-Jason was not going to let Michael go on this one. Jason always reminded him about the blonde mask, but Michael refused to even acknowledge it. Michael gulps and grabs blonde mask. No peanut butter and jelly. It was, unfortunately, safe.

-Michael gulps and grabs the mask to put it on. As he starts to put it on, he temporarily sees the darkness.

Michael Myers: "Please be a dream! Please be a dream!"

-But, light returns to Michael's eyes as he is now looking through the eye holes of the blonde mask. Michael looks at himself in the mirror. He is embarrassed. He sighs and heads into the kitchen and starts up the coffee machine. That's when the speaker box by the front door beeps. Michael goes over and answers it.

Micheal Myers: "Hello?"

Jason Voorhees: "Hey Mike, what's up?!"

Michael Myers: "Yes...hello."

Freddy Krueger: "Did he already get you too?"

Michael Myers: "You'll see when you come up."

-Michael heads back to kitchen. Then, he turns on his TV by the kitchen cabinet.

TV: A woman reporter goes over a car big car accident down the highway.

Reporter: "I repeat: Down the highway from Springwood, Ohio all the way to New York, a crazy driver in a BMW X5..."

Michael Myers: "A BMW? Doesn't Jason drive one of those?"

Reporter: "...Rushed through as if in a hurry. Many cars were crashed and thrown off the road in the process. there is at least five cars caught in this driver's path within each mile."

Michael Myers: "Why would he go Springwood? Freddy would, but Jason?"

-That's when there's a knock on his front door. Michael goes over to answer it. He opens the door and Freddy and Jason come in.

Jason Voorhees: "Hey Mike, dyed your hair?"

Michael Myers: "Ha ha."

-Jason goes over to the kitchen and grabs a Budweiser beer from the fridgerator.

Freddy Krueger: "Oh, he got your masks again."

Michael Myers: "Sure did. He didn't even spare the ugly one from 'Halloween 5'."

Freddy Krueger: "Oh, that's bad man!"

Michael Myers: "What did he do to you?"

Freddy Krueger: "He somehow found my hit list, you know the group of Elm Street teenagers I had picked to prey on. I was in the middle of preying on this poor guy early this morning when Jason came out of nowhere and suddenly killed him before for me. He beat me to it my own freaken' kill!"

Michael Myers: "Sounds like 'Freddy vs. Jason Part 2'!"

Freddy Krueger: "Ha! Yeah, it sure does. I'll probably teach him a lesson later."

-Freddy and Michael head over to the kitchen to see Jason gulping down a Budweiser.

Michael Myers: "I thought you vowed to drink less."

-Jason burps.

Jason Voorhees: "Who, me? Of course I am, on regular days that is. But, today is my special day. I'm going to have drink after every prank I play on you guys!"

Michael Myers: "And, what does this mean? That, you'll be drunk to kingdom come by the end of today? You do remember nearly dying to your alcohol abuse last year, don't you?"

Jason Voorhees: "Hey, I know that! Do you think I'm stupid?"

-Freddy and Michael turn to each other.

Jason Voorhees: "There's only a couple more tricks I have in store for you guys, that's it."

Michael Myers: "Oh, well, that makes feel a lot better now!"

-Michael heads over to the kitchen to pour coffee onto a mug. He takes his blonde Halloween mask off to drink the coffee. Freddy notices the news story on the TV. Then, he turns to Jason.

Freddy Krueger: "Hey, was that you?"

Jason Voorhees: "Of course. The drive between here and Ohio is long."

Freddy Krueger: "And, you still picked me up in the same BMW being exploited on the news?"

-Jason shrugs.

Jason Voorhees: "Yeah."

Freddy Krueger: "Are you crazy, man?"

Jason Voorhees: "What?"

Freddy Krueger: "The news is reporting the vehicle that crashed those cars off the road. The police are going to pick up on that search for it. And, they are going try spotting it here in the city."

-Jason shrugs.

Freddy Krueger: "Don't you see? We could have been sitting ducks along the way to Michael's pad. Someone could have seen you drive your BMW into the parking and reported you."

Michael Myers: "Yeah, Fred's right. You are not only putting you and Fred in danger, but me as well. What if they tracked you guys up here and barged in my apartment?"

Jason Voorhees: "Oh...well, I don't think it matters anyway. With that car accident in front of the building, people will be too busy to notice."

Michael Myers: "You know what, you can really be stupid at times and you can be really lucky at times too. And, you don't even know it."

Freddy Krueger: "Yeah, man! You pulled a...what's that word...a homer! Yeah, you pulled a homer!"

CUT TO...a dictionary page. The word "homer," a noun, has the following definition: "To succeed despite idiocy." A picture of Jason is provided as an example.

CUT BACK TO...Freddy, Jason and Michael.

Jason Voorhees: "Yeah, well, if they really spotted us, they would have barged through that door by now."

Michael Myers: "Just be more careful from now, all right?"

Jason Voorhees: "Fine! I'll be more careful."

-Suddenly, Jason whips out a voice box.

Jason Voorhees: "Look what I got!"

Michael Myers: "What is that?"

Freddy Krueger: "Hey, isn't that the voice box thing Ghostface used in the 'Scream' movies to imitate the 'What's up?!' creepy voice and other characters?"

Jason Voorhees: "Yeah! I found it at that the mall in Radio Shack. I didn't think they really sold these things!"

-Jason uses the voice box to imitate Freddy.

Jason Voorhees: "Look at me! I'm a dream master and I'm really annoying!"

-Freddy swipes the voice box from Jason and uses it to imitate Jason.

Freddy Krueger: "And, look at me! I'm hockey puss, and I'm really dumb!"

-Jason swipes the voice box back from Freddy and uses it to imitate him.

Jason Voorhees: "I'm also the son of hundred bastard souls! My mother was whore and got it on with every crazy guy she laid her eyes on!"

-Freddy swipes the voice box from Jason and uses it to imitate Jason again.

Freddy Krueger: "Well, I'm a retard! I'm really stupid, I..."

-Jason goes to attack Freddy. Michael stops Jason, grabs the voice box from Freddy and uses it to imitate Freddy.

Michael Myers: "I'm also really sorry for interrupting Mike's morning with stupid ranting."

-Freddy is embarrassed. Michael uses the voice box to imitate Jason.

Michael Myers: "Oh, that's right. I apologize for being rude as well. I better be good, or else Michael will teach me and Fred a lesson, Myers-style!"

-Freddy and Jason gulp. Michael hands Jason his voice box back and finishes his coffee. Jason wisely puts the voice box away.

Freddy Krueger: "Well anyway, how did you get our voices on that damn thing?"

Jason Voorhees: "The same way Ghostface got the characters voices on it in 'Scream 3'. A magician never reveals his tricks."

-Michael finishes his coffee and puts his blonde Halloween mask back on.

Michael Myers: "Well, now that I got that out of the way..."

-Michael turns to Jason.

Michael Myers: "...You better not pull any dangerous pranks on us this time. Not like that one this February when you messed with my Corvette's breaks and kept me from slowing down!"

-Freddy and Jason laugh.

Michael Myers: "That wasn't funny."

-Freddy and Jason laugh more.

Michael Myers: "That wasn't funny at all!"

-Freddy and Jason lighten up.

Freddy Krueger: "He's right. You did go too far with by doing that. It's a wonder Mike's Corvette wasn't totaled."

Jason Voorhees: "You don't have to worry. I'm doing anything like that again."

-Jason laughs again.

Jason Voorhees: "Anyway, I gotta go drain the lizard."

-Jason heads to the bathroom.

Michael Myers: "Thanks for sharing that."

-Jason goes into the bathroom and closes the door behind him.

Freddy Krueger: "I wonder what he has in store for me today."

Michael Myers: "I hope he's learned his lesson. He had me exposed to the general public when I had to crash my Corvette into that restaurant. I think that's when paparazzis started exploiting us in the tabloid newspapers."

Freddy Krueger: "Well, at least they are leaving us alone from now on. After setting up those two paparazzis last week, they don't pay attention to use anymore."

Michael Myers: "Of course not. Whenever they spot me now, they run away!"

-Michael's cell phone rings. The ring tone is the eerie "Halloween" theme.

Michael Myers: "Hello?"

Moustapha Akkad: "Michael, come down to studio immediately. I'm preparing an important board meeting."

Michael Myers: "Yeah, sure. But, first things first. Whatever you do, you and those sticky Dimension executives better not bullshit me this time."

Moustapha Akkad: "Don't worry. In fact, I might as well tell you now. I've been thinking about your suggested ideas for the next 'Halloween' film. John Tate, Tommy Doyle, Stephen..."

Michael Myers: "What is this? Am I dreaming? Did you hit your head? Or, are your dreaming? Why are you...

Moustapha Akkad: "No, I am not bullshitting you. I've read those 'Halloween' story holes and correction notes you've sent me, and I've read fan mail. I'm starting to understand where you and your fanbase are coming from."

Michael Myers: "This...is music to my ears. Why did it take so long for you to realize all this?"

Moustapha Akkad: "I owe you a lot of apologies. And, to the fans as well. Just come over to the studio. We'll set up the real 'Halloween 9'."

Michael Myers: "All right. I'll be there."

-Michael hangs up on Moustapha Akkad and turns to Freddy.

Michael Myers: "I gotta go."

-Michael grabs the keys to his Corvette, bursts outs of his pad and down the hallway to the elevator. Outside in the hallway, is his gay neighbor and star of "A Nightmare on Elm Street 2: Freddy's Revenge," Mark Patton talking with another neighbor. Mark Patton notices Michael's blonde mask.

Mark Patton: "Hey Michael, dyed your hair?"

-Mark Patton and the neighbor laugh. Michael shrugs it off, he doesn't care. Back in his pad, Jason gets out of the bathroom.

Jason Voorhees: "Where'd Mike go?"

Freddy Krueger: "Moustapha Akkad called him for a board meeting. I think he's finally giving in to what Mike and the fans want so badly in the next 'Halloween' film."

Jason Voorhees: "Give in? Yeah, right. Dimension is like Paramount. They both suck!"

CUT TO...Moustapha Akkad, his representative and the executives, at the Dimension Films studio holding a board meeting.

Moustapha Akkad: "You know, I've been thinking about what Michael has had to say about our 'Halloween' franchise."

Executive #1: "How so?"

Moustapha Akkad: "His ideas about going back to thorn storyline...reprising the characters of Tommy Doyle, Kara Strode and his son Stephen...and blending in John Tate from the belated storyline. I don't know why I haven't thought about it before."

Executive #2: "Have you forgotten, sir? Jamie Lee Curtis asked that those elements be ignored when she went to reprise her role in 'Halloween H20' and 'Halloween: Resurrection'. That's why those last two films in the franchise don't mention them."

Moustapha Akkad: "Yeah, well fuck Jamie Lee Curtis!"

-Akkad's representative and executives are shocked by Akkad's response.

Moustapha Akkad: "Have you all of you seen the poor reviews for 'Halloween: Resurrection'? Have you read the fan mail begging us to bring back that old storyline and characters? As everything stands, we have no key characters left. Except Michael of course. John Tate was forgotten by 'Resurrection,' so who knows where to take this direction. We have to go back to those old elements and rekindle them."

Executive #2: "But, you chose to follow Jamie Lee Curtis' ideas, because 'Halloween 6' turned out to be a real bust. It was spit on by both the fans and critics."

Moustapha Akkad: "Of course it was! Because you guys had it script re-written eleven damn times, and had the film butchered in the editing room. The first cut was a very good. But, you didn't think it 'hip' or 'cool' enough. That was bullshit. It was your bullshit, and your bullshit ruined the movie. I told you to go on with first complete cut, but you didn't listen to me. Just as I haven't been listening to Michael. Things are going to change for the better. And, that change starts now!"

-Suddenly, Michael bursts into the room.

Michael Myers: "I'm here!"

-Moustapha Akkad is surprised to see him.

Moustapha Akkad: "Michael? What are you doing here?"

Michael Myers: "I came as soon as you called."

Moustapha Akkad: "I didn't call you."

Michael Myers: "Yes, you did. You told to come immediately for an important board meeting."

Moustapha Akkad: "I certainly set up a board meeting, but I never informed you of it. This board meeting was set up between the executives and myself."

-Akkad's representative, Paul, gets up.

Paul: "What about me?"

Moustapha Akkad: "And, you too of course."

-Akkad turns back to Michael.

Moustapha Akkad: "Your excursion here is pointless. I don't know why you came."

Michael Myers: "I could have sworn that you called. I know you did."

Moustapha Akkad: "Well, I don't know what to say. You interrupted an important meeting over the future your franchise."

Michael Myers: "Wait a minute, I know what you're doing. You called me up for a meeting. And, today happens to be Friday the 13th. So, you are really just joshing me saying that you didn't call me. Right?"

-Moustapha Akkad sighs.

Moustapha Akkad: "I don't know what you are talking about. To me, the only horror franchise that exists is 'Halloween.' I don't know what 'Friday The 13th' is."

-Michael is dumbfounded. He doesn't know what to say.

Moustapha Akkad: "I am disappointed in you. You keep urging me to do this with the 'Halloween' franchise, and do that. And, then you barge in middle of a board meeting accusing me of nonsense. It seems you are just trying to get my attention."

-Moustapha Akkad turns to his representative and the executives, and they all nod their heads. Michael can't believe what he is hearing. He wasn't trying to get attention for himself. He was trying to get proper attention to his franchise.

Moustapha Akkad: "I don't know what has gotten into you. I suggest you leave at once."

-Michael sighs and starts to leave. Moustapha Akkad notices Michael's blonde mask.

Moustapha Akkad: "And, by the way Michael, nice hair!"

-Moustapha Akkad, his representative, and the executives laugh. Michael is embarrassed. He leaves the room and walks down the hallway. Moustapha Akkad turns to his representative and the executives.

Moustapha Akkad: "You know what, you guys were right. I don't know what I was thinking before, listening to what Michael has to say, yada, yada, yada. His insight was bullshit, and he was creating bullshit in the 'Halloween' franchise. He was only wanting attention."

Executive #1: "Very good to hear, sir."

Executive #2: "For a while there, I thought you were going crazy."

Moustapha Akkad: "Me, crazy? No way! Michael is the crazy one. He's the one who's butchering people left and right. I'm never going to listen to anything he says to me again. Never! If he says no to going out to space, I'll make him go out to space! If he..."

-Back in the hallway, Dimension executives notice Michael and his blonde Halloween mask. They point to him and laugh. Michael is embarrassed. But, more importantly, he doesn't know what to make of the situation.

-Moustapha Akkad calls him for a board meeting. And, he went to the meeting. But, Akkad acts as if he never informed him of the meeting at all. He couldn't make sense of it. That's when Michael realizes what's up...Jason! Jason set him up. Jason must have also had Moustapha Akkad's voice on the voice box he bought from Radio Shack. Jason pranked him and made him make a fool of himself at Dimension films studio! Michael can't wait to get back to his pad and teach him a style, Myers-style!

-Back at Michael's pad, Freddy and Jason are watching the news on Michael's '60 TV in his living room. The news is continuing the story about the car pile up along the highway.

Freddy Krueger: "You know, after causing that raucous, you should keep a lot profile for a while. Or, buy a new car."

Jason Voorhees: "I suppose. I'll just steal another car in the parking lot."

-Jason checks the time.

Jason Voorhees: "Say, you want to a beer?"

Freddy Krueger: "Sure."

-Jason gets up from the sofa and heads to kitchen.

Freddy Krueger: "Wait a minute, did you already set up your next prank? Did you just get Michael again?"

-Jason grabs two budweisers from the fridgerator.

Jason Voorhees: "Yeah, I'd say that my second prank on Michael should have been employed by now."

-Jason slips a sleeping pill in his bottle of Budweiser and heads back in the living room. He sits back down on the sofa and hands Freddy one of the Budweisers.

Freddy Krueger: "What did you do?"

Jason Voorhees: "I'm not going to waste my breath on that. I'll let Michael tell ya."

Freddy Krueger: "Oh, is going to be angry?"

Jason Voorhees: "Probably! But, not like last year when I messed with his Corvette."

-Freddy changes the channel to the "Tabloid News." On the program is Johnny Carpenter hosting in front of a stage and studio

Johnny Carpenter: "...Next story: The Creeper's talk show, "Creeping With The Creeper" has just been cancelled."

-Freddy and Jason turn to each other.

Johnny Carpenter: "His show proved to be very successful this summer. Like the openly gay Creeper he is, The Creeper developed a mostly gay following of fans. He interviewed celebrities, mostly gay, including Nathan Lane, David Hyde Pierce, Sir Ian McKellen, Rupert Everett, Rosie O'Donnell, B.D. Wong, and of course, Keanu Reeves and Alan Cumming. Of all guests to appear on his show, his most popular and controversial interview was with Tom Cruise..."

-Freddy and Jason, remembering that episode, laugh.

Johnny Carpenter: "..,On the premier of his show, the first guest celebrity of his was Tom Cruise. And, The Creeper went out of his way to embarrass Tom Cruise on live television and make him out to be gay."

TV: Cut to footage of first episode of "Creeping With The Creeper." Tom Cruise sighs of frustration. The Creeper was just putting him on the spot questioning him over his controversial and questionable past. The Creeper takes notice and writes down another note in his notepad.

The Creeper: "Frustrated...with...himself."

-Tom Cruise overhears The Creeper muttering to himself as he writes down the note.

Tom Cruise: "What was that?"

-The Creeper finishes writing down the note.

The Creeper: "Oh, nothing!"

Tom Cruise: "Hey, you're writing about me in there!"

The Creeper: "No, I'm not!"

Tom Cruise: "Yes, you are!"

-Tom Cruise tries to grab The Creeper's note pad, but The Creeper resists. Tom Cruise sighs of frustration.

Tom Cruise: "Wait a minute! You think I'm gay! You're writing about me in the notepad! How dare you!"

The Creeper: "I don't know what you speak of..."

-The Creeper immediately writes another note in the notepad.

The Creeper: "Very...sexually...frustrated."

-Tom Cruise overhears him.

Tom Cruise: "Hey! Stop writing in that notepad!"

-The Creeper immediately writes down another note.

The Creeper: "Very...very...sexually...frustrated..."

-The Creeper finishes his note and hands the notepad to Tom Cruise.

The Creeper: "Here!"

-Tom Cruise looks at The Creeper's notes in disbelief. Then, he reads the final note - a phone number and home address.

Tom Cruise: "What...what's this?"

The Creeper: "Oh, that's the phone number and home address to my pad. Me and Victor just love to have company over! Especially third parties like you, if you know what I mean. Come over anytime you want!"

-Tom Cruise is absolutely embarrassed!

Tom Cruise: "Why, you!"

-Tom Cruise attacks The Creeper and knocks him over the sofa. The audience goes crazy. Tom Cruise punches The Creeper in the chest.

The Creeper: "Oh, my! Tom Cruise is very sexually frustrated indeed!"

-Tom Cruise punches The Creeper in the face. That's when two guards grab Tom Cruise and hold him back. The Creeper gets up.

The Creeper: "I can't believe it! I've been punched in the face by the right hook of Tom Cruise! I'll never wash this swolen cheek again!"

Tom Cruise: "You pervert! You asked me to appear on your show, so you could humiliate me on live television! I'm going to file a $100 million lawsuit against you!"

The Creeper: "But, you hit me first!"

Tom Cruise: "Why, you! I'm going to get you for this!"

-Freddy and Jason, remembering that episode, laugh their hearts out. Jason is getting tired.

Johnny Carpenter: "And, Tom Cruise did file that case against The Creeper, just as he filed similar defaminaton cases against Kyle Bradford and Michael Davis in 2001. But unlike those earlier cases, Tom Cruise lost his case against the Creeper, simply because he hit The Creeper first."

TV: Cut to media coverage in a hallway in the court house. Tom Cruise and The Creeper are bickering, while being held back by police officers.

Tom Cruise: "You embarrassed me live on television! And, all over stupid nonsense! You aren't going to get away with this! Even if I hit you first!"

The Creeper: "Oh, I love you too, Tom! I keep telling you though, you can come over to my pad anytime! You gotta relieve that sexual tension of yours!"

-Tom Cruise looks absolutely embarrassed!

Tom Cruise: "Why, you!"

-Tom Cruise breaks away from the police officers and attacks The Creeper. He knocks The Creeper over and punches him several times. The Creeper is loving it!

The Creeper: "Give me more baby, give me more! Release that tension!"

-Freddy laughs out loud. Jason is asleep.

The Creeper: "Tom Cruise also lost for hitting The Creeper again in the court house. Man, this guy really needs to take anger management classes! But anyway, The Creeper's antics with Tom Cruise is considerable factor to his current popularity and high ratings his talk show achieved. But, that's all over now. The WB studio just canceled The Creeper's program. Why? The Creeper outdid his outrageous interview with Tom Cruise last week when he interviewed controversial pop star, Michael Jackson.

TV: Cut to footage of the last episode of "Creeping With The Creeper." The Creeper is interviewing Michael Jackson and his audience is going crazy.

The Creeper: "So...why did your skin turn white?"

-Michael Jackson looks surprised.

Michael Jackson: "Well, um, I thought this was already widely known, but I have rare skin disease called vitiligo."

The Creeper: "Vitilirgin?"

Michael Jackson: "Vitiligo."

The Creeper: "Vitilegan?"

Michael Jackson: "Vitiligo."

The Creeper: "Vitiliagra?

Michael Jackson: "Vitiligo!"

The Creeper: "Oh, vitiligo! Sorry. You don't have to be so mean about it!"

-Michael Jackson sighs.

Michael Jackson: "It's all right. It was just a misunderstanding."

The Creeper: "Yeah, sure. Anyway...why do you molest children?"

-Michael Jackson looks shocked!

Michael Jackson: "I don't molest children!"

-The Creeper ignores Michael Jackson's response and repeats the question.

The Creeper: "Why do you molest children?"

Michael Jackson: "I don't molest children! I sleep with them! I just sleep with them!"

The Creeper: "Oh, so you do molest children!"

-Michael Jackson sighs of frustration.

Michael Jackson: "There is a fine line between sleeping and molesting. In my home in Neverland, I have big bedroom and I sleep with my children in one big bed. That's it. I don't do anything else other than that."

The Creeper: "Okay. So, why do you sleep with them? Are you some kind of freak?"

-Michael Jackson can't believe what he is hearing.

Michael Jackson: "No, I am not a freak. I sleep with children as a way of, um, protecting them. Because, I'm Peter Pan!"

The Creeper: "Peter Pan? I thought you were Michael Jackson!"

Michael Jackson: "No, no, no. I am Michael Jackson..."

-The audience goes crazy and boos.

Michael Jackson: "...And, I am proud of it! Everyone has me misunderstood. Everyone! I am not some sort of freak who molests children. I'm like Peter Pan. I love children and cherish them. I want to be their savior and protector."

The Creeper: "Oh, so you're God?"

Michael Jackson: "In a sense, yes. I'm not God, but I try to be the best person I can be towards to my precious children."

The Creeper: "Then, why you do you molest them?"

Michael Jackson: "I told you already, I don't molest my children! I only sleep with them!"

The Creeper: "How do you sleep without molesting?"

Michael Jackson: "You know, people call me childlike, because I act like a child. And, they're right. I'm trying to preserve my innocence."

The Creeper: "What innocence? You molest children!"

-Michael Jackson sighs and ignores The Creeper.

Michael Jackson: "But, you are more childlike than me. If you can't establish the difference between sleeping and molesting, you have a lot of growing up to do."

The Creeper: "But, I am grown up! I'm hundreds of years old!"

Michael Jackson: "Oh, please! You being a hundreds of years old is like...me molesting children! I know that you are wearing some suit."

The Creeper: "What suit?"

Michael Jackson: "That monster suit you are wearing. That disguise. It's a great suit, but come on. Grow up already!"

The Creeper: "But, I am grown up! And, I am a monster! I'm The Creeper!"

Michael Jackson: "Creeper, shmeeper, whatever. If you aren't willing to grow up, then I will. I'll start by leaving your show right now."

-Michael Jackson gets up to leave when the audience goes crazy.

Audience: "Boo! Freak! Freak! Freak!..."

Michael Jackson: "But, I'm not a freak! I'm Peter Pan!"

Audience: "...Freak! Freak! Freak! Freak!..."

Michael Jackson: "I'm not a freak! That Creeper is a freak!"

-The Creeper joins in.

The Creeper: "Oh, yeah? Freak! Freak! Freak! Freak..."

-Michael Jackson sheds a tear.

Creeper and audience: "...Freak! Freak! Freak! Freak!..."

-Michael Jackson sheds more tears.

Creeper and audience: "...Freak! Freak! Freak! Freak!..."

-Michael Jackson cries so many more tears, that his skin starts turning whiter. The Creeper and his audience can't believe their eyes.

Creeper and audience: "...Freak! Freak! Freak! Freak!..."

-Michael Jackson cries more and his skin turns whiter. Then he runs backstage like a girl, crying like a baby.

TV: Cut back to Johnny Carpenter.

Johnny Carpenter: "And, that incident is what canceled The Creeper's talk show. It is most controversial thing to ever appear on television. Even more controversial then when Justin Timberlake 'accidentally' pulled off Janet Jackson's bra during the Superbowl earlier this year..."

-Freddy laughs.

Freddy Krueger: "That was a good laugh. That Creeper, he knows no limits! Doesn't he, Jason? Jason?"

-Freddy looks over to see Jason asleep on the other side of the sofa. He shrugs. Then, he gets an idea.

Freddy Krueger: "What's this? Jason alseep? Somebody ought to...wake him up! And, I know just how!

-Freddy is about to prepare himself and enter Jason's dream when he stops.

Freddy Krueger: "Wait a minute! This is a trick. He wants me go in his dreams, so he can prank me and set up traps against me!"

-Freddy sits back and looks at sleeping Jason again.

Freddy Krueger: "Oh, what the hell! If he its tricks he wants, it is tricks he will get!"

-Freddy prepares to enter Jason's dreams...

-Moments later, Freddy finds himself within the forest of Camp Crystal Lake. All around him are lined up trees. Within the trees, are creatures of the night chirping their hearts out. Above him is the moon showing itself in the night sky. And adorning the forest, trees and dock by Crystal Lake was fog. Freddy looks around as fog appears every which way he looks.

Freddy Krueger: "Wow. It's like I'm in 'Friday The 13th' Movie."
-Facing the fog around him, Freddy starts to journey into wilderness around him. He enters patches of fog and sees only faints of light and darkness ahead. That's when a machete suddenly slices appears out nowhere his right arm.

Freddy Krueger: "Oww!"

-Freddy uses his dream powers to heal. He also hears movement around him.

Freddy Krueger: "I know that's you, pussface! You don't scare me! A swipe of that machete is not going to get me!"

-Suddenly, the machete appears from fog to the left of Freddy and swipes his other arm.

Freddy Krueger: "Slick...but, not enough."

-That's when Jason jumps out of the fog and in front of him. Jason slashes his machete in Freddy's chest.

Freddy Krueger: "Oh!"

-Then, Jason slashes his machete at him more times. Freddy is about to slice him with his claws when Jason jumps out of the way and back in the fog. Freddy uses his dream powers to heal the wounds.

Freddy Krueger: "Wow! jumping out of nowhere and slashing that machete at me! Never seen that before! Come on, you call this a prank?"

-That's when Freddy steps around a rope. The rope tightens and wraps around Freddy's ankles.

Freddy Krueger: "Hey!"

-The rope pulls back, knocking Freddy over, and starts pulling up to the branch of a tree. Freddy finds himself dangling upside down in the air.

Freddy Krueger: "Ha! Very clever! Good trick for a...retard!"

-The fog starts to disappear and Freddy sees Jason step up to him. Jason gazes at him with his one good eye and whips out his machete.

Freddy Krueger: "Oh, how scary! What are you going to do, machete me to pieces?"

-Jason takes his machete and swings it at Freddy. He slices his chest and bits of blood drips to the ground.

Freddy Krueger: "Oww!"
-The wounds start to heal and Jason slices Freddy more.

Freddy Krueger: "Oww! Oww! Oww!"

-Not stopping his actions, Jason keeps slicing Freddy's chest. Bursts of blood spurt from his chest onto the ground and on Jason.

Freddy Krueger: "Oww! Oww! Oww!"

-Then, Jason takes that machete and sinks it into Freddy's chest.

Freddy Krueger: "Aah!"

-Jason sinks the machete further into Freddy's chest and out his back. Then, he twists it around the innards of his stomach.

Freddy Krueger: "Aah! Oww!"

-Jason suddenly whips the machete back out of Freddy's stomach and slices his chest more.

Freddy Krueger: "Oww! Jeez man, what is this? Revenge for me entering your dreams last year?"

-Jason slices Freddy's chest one more time and steps back for a moment. Freddy's wounds start to heal again.

Freddy Krueger: "You know, it's fun to be hanging like this, but come on, is this all you have to offer?"

-Jason looks at his machete and back to Freddy. Then, he swings his machete once more at Freddy. That's when Freddy pokes his finger at Jason's one good eye. Jason falls back feeling the sting. Freddy struggles to climb up the rope and cut it. He slices it with his claw and falls back on the ground.

Freddy Krueger: "Ow!"

-Freddy gets up and cracks his back like nothing ever happened. Then he looks over and sees Jason still feeling the sting in his eye. Freddy charges for him and starts slicing him with his clawed hand. Jason, eye swollen, sees barely a glimpse of Freddy swiping him with his claw hand. He struggles to set his sights on him and swing his machete at him, but misses.

-That's when Freddy swipes the machete from Jason. He looks at the machete and back at Jason.

Freddy Krueger: "You call this a prank? We'll see!"

-Freddy slices the machete at Jason's chest. Then, he repeats the action relentlessly. Jason isn't able do anything, because his eye still feels sore. He barely sees as Freddy swiping the machete at his chest. Then, he barely sees Freddy sink the machete into his stomach and twist it around the innards of his body. Blood is spouting out his chest like a fountain onto Freddy.

-Freddy whips the machete out of Jason's body. Then, he backs away and shoves Jason, knocking him over. Jason is now on the ground with his back exposed. Freddy takes the machete and slashes into Jason's back. Then, he repeats the action. Little bursts of blood spout of his chest.

Freddy Krueger: "You aren't so tough!"

-Freddy slashes the machete in Jason's back more. Bursts of blood spouts out of his back and onto Freddy. Freddy spits the blood off his burnt faces and slashes Jason again.

Freddy Krueger: "You aren't so tough at all!"

-Having his one good eye swolen and Freddy slashing him with his own machete, Jason gets a flashback of when little Tommy Jarvis surprised him and slashed his machete in his face. Jason, laying on the ground, weakly moves his fingers around. Tommy notices and freaks out. He grabs the machete and slashes away on dying Jason.

Tommy Jarvis: "Die! Die! Die! Die!..."

-In his dream Freddy continues slaying Jason.

Freddy Krueger: "...Stop slashing yourself! Stop slashing yourself! Stop slashing yourself!..."

Jason thinks back more to the flashback.

Tommy Jarvis: "...Die! Die! Die! Die!..."

-That's when Jason's one good eye heals. Taking the hacking his back is getting, he starts getting up. To Freddy's surprise, Jason starts getting up before his eyes. Freddy drops the machete and backs away, as Jason gets up and proceeds to crack his back like nothing ever happened. Then, Jason turns around and faces Freddy. Freddy is dumbfounded.

Freddy Krueger: "What? You took all that? You're all right?"

-Jason glares Freddy with his one good eye. Then, he picks up his machete. He looks at the machete, then back to Freddy.

Freddy Krueger: "Oh, shit!"

-Jason starts charging for Freddy. Freddy runs for it through the woods. Jason was angry and not done with him yet. Barely seeing through the remaining fog, Freddy bumps into a branch and falls back. He gets back up and runs further. Then, he ends walking out of the forest and at the coast where lake and dock is. He hears Jason brushing through fog and backs away.

-Freddy sees Jason appear out of the foggy forest. Jason stops in his tracks. He looks at Freddy, then to his machete. Then, he drops his machete and charges back at Freddy. Freddy backs away onto the dock over the lake and Jason goes for him. Jason rams Freddy and shoves him back.

-Freddy, getting up and seeing Jason come for him, ducks out of his way in time and Jason stops in his tracks. Jason goes to attack him, but Freddy swipes him with his claws first. Jason is about to punch him back, when Freddy kicks him away. Jason falls back, surprised by Freddy.

Freddy Krueger: "What? I've seen you in action before. I know your tricks. I know your moves. And, I know your techniques. You know, you are predictable to fight with. Charge at, slash at, charge at, slash at..."

-That's when Jason gets up to attack Freddy. Freddy sees the move coming and ducks out of Jason's way.

Freddy Krueger: "...And, I saw that move too! I know all about you."

-Jason goes to punch Freddy, but Freddy swipes him with his claws. Then, Jason throws a mean punch at Freddy, sending him to the end of the dock. Freddy is shaken.

Freddy Krueger: "Didn't see that move coming though..."

-Freddy gets up and sees Jason charging for him. Freddy charges for the charging Jason. Freddy and Jason meet head on, and Freddy makes the first move. Jason looks down to see Freddy's claw slashed into his chest. Bursts of blood spouts from the wound. Jason looks back up to Freddy.

Freddy Krueger: "Gotcha!"

-Freddy starts twisting his claw around the innards of Jason's stomach. More blood spouts from the wound.

Freddy Krueger: "Like that? How does that feel?!"

-Jason takes it like a man. Finally, he takes action and grabs Freddy. He pulls his clawed hand out of his chest and grasps Freddy's neck. Lifting Freddy into the air, Jason starts to pull his "move" on him. Freddy struggles to breathe. Jason wraps his hands around Freddy's neck applying much pressure.

Freddy Krueger: "Jason...don't."

-Jason starts to wrap his hands around to the back of Freddy's head, when he suddenly disappears and Freddy falls back onto the dock. Freddy looks around surprised. Jason woke up.
Freddy pinches himself and wakes up back in Michael's pad to see Michael shoving Jason against the wall.

Michael Myers: "How dare you do that to me? This is a new low for you, Jason!"

-Freddy shrugs. Michael came back home and woke up Jason. And, he's ready to teach him a lesson, Myers-style!

Michael Myers: "Messing with my Corvette was one thing, but setting me up at the Dimension studio? Do you realize you may have just ruined my chances of renewing my 'Halloween' series? Do you realize that you may have just messed up my chances of improving my movies? Moustapha Akkad is furious at me!"

-Jason struggles to breathe from Michael's hold.

Jason Voorhees: "All right! All right! I'm sorry, man!"

-Michael backs away and lets Jason go.

Michael Myers: "Sorry isn't good enough."

Jason Voorhees: "What are you saying?"

Michael Myers: "Go."

Jason Voorhees: "What?"

Michael Myers: "Go! Leave my pad and don't come back."

Jason Voorhees: "You can't be serious. Come on, it was just a prank."

Michael Myers: "Go."

-Jason looks at Michael, then to Freddy. Freddy doesn't know what to say, he's surprised by Michael as well. Jason turns back to Michael. Michael is staring him down with his dead-like eyes. Jason sighs.

Jason Voorhees: "Fine."

-Jason heads over the front door of Michael's pad. He stops at the door and looks back at Michael. Michael is still staring him down. Jason sighs and walks out the door.

-Later on in the late afternoon, Jason sits at a bar at Pinhead's night club. He sighs and gulps down a glass of Budweiser. That's when his cell phone rings. His 'Friday The 13th' tune is the ring tone. Jason checks the number of the caller.

Jason Voorhees: "I don't know that number."

-Jason shrugs and answers it.

Jason Voorhees: "Hello?"

-Jason is surprised to hear that the caller sounds just like him, as if he was a clone.

Jason Voorhees #2: "Hello?"

Jason Voorhees: "Hey!"

Jason Voorhees #2: "Hey!"

Jason Voorhees: "What is this?"

Jason Voorhees #2: "What is this?"

Jason Voorhees: "Stop repeating me! I'm Jason!"

Jason Voorhees #2: "Stop repeating me! I'm Jason!"

Jason Voorhees: "This isn't funny!"

Jason Voorhees #2: "This isn't funny!"

-Jason can't believe what he's hearing. Figuring that he's drunk, he hangs up on the caller and turns to the bartender, a cenobite with goggle-like eyes.

Jason Voorhees: "Another Budweiser!"

-The cenobite prepares and serves Jason another a glass of Budweiser. Jason gulps half of it down. That's when he gets another call. Jason checks the number of the caller. Another phone number he was unaware of. Jason, hesitantly, answers.

Jason Voorhees: "Hello?"

-What Jason hears is another Jason clone or something.

Jason Voorhees #2: "Hello?"

Jason Voorhees: "Who is this?"

Jason Voorhees #2: "Who is this?"

Jason Voorhees: "I'm Jason! I'm the Crystal Lake Killer!"

Jason Voorhees #2: "I'm Jason! I'm the Crystal Lake Killer!"

Jason Voorhees: "No, you're not!"

Jason Voorhees #2: "No, you're not!"

Jason Voorhees: "Stop calling me!"

Jason Voorhees #2: "Stop calling me!"

-Jason hangs up on the caller. Then, he immediately gulps down the rest of his Budweiser. He does not know what to make of the situation. Then, his cell phone rings again. Jason immediately answers back.

Jason Voorhees: "That's it! Whoever you are..."

Todd: "Dad?"

-Jason sighs of relief.

Jason Voorhees: "Oh, Todd, it's you."

Todd: "Who do you think it was?"

Jason Voorhees: "Nothing. I think I'm getting drunk or something. Just now, I just got calls from myself!"

Todd: "Yep, you are definitely getting drunk! Want me to help you home?"

Jason Voorhees: "That's all right. I can handle myself. How's your first massacre on your own going?"

Todd: "Oh, I'm loving it! The freedom, the slaughter, the blood, it's so awesome!"

Jason Voorhees: "I know what you mean. Have a better feel for it now than you did when you were copycatting me?"

Todd: "Totally. No paparazzis can't get past me!"

Jason Voorhees: "Very good."

Todd: "One thing, though. Some people don't seem surprised to see me. They were scared and all, but reacted suspiciously."

Jason Voorhees: "Oh, yeah. Today is Friday the 13th."

Todd: "Oh, right. You know, you gotta show me those movies of yours."

Jason Voorhees: "Oh, I will son. I will show you them one of these days. I'll have to set up a 'Friday The 13th' marathon for us!"

Todd: "Cool! Say, why aren't out killing people now? Wouldn't you be doing that on this day?"

Jason Voorhees: "Actually, no. On every Friday the 13th date, I play pranks on Freddy and Michael."

Todd: "Oh, really?"

Jason Voorhees: "Yeah. It's a tradition in honor of my movies."

Todd: "How has it went?"

Jason Voorhees: "Not very good, actually. Michael is really angry at me. I think I went too far."

Todd: "Will you guys be okay?"

Jason Voorhees: "I think so. Michael just has to blow off some steam. I'll come back to his pad later today. Meet me there when you're finished with your massacre."

Todd: "Sure. Bye, Dad."

Jason Voorhees: "See ya, son."

-Jason hangs up on Todd and sighs. Then, he pays for his beer and leaves for Michael's pad. Jason walks out of Pinhead's night club and heads to this BMW X5 SUV. He gets in and turns on the ignition. The radio goes on and is playing Alice Cooper's rock song, "He's Back (The Man Behind The Mask)."

Radio: "...You're swimmin' with your girl out on lovers' lake..."

Jason Voorhees: "Cool!"

-Jason drives out of parking lot and onto the road.

Radio: "...And the wind blows cold, it chills your bones..."

-Jason drives up to red light and stops. His reaction time is a little slow, because he is a bit drunk.

Radio: "...But you're still on the make, that's a bad mistake..."

-Jason starts singing with the rest of the song.

Jason Voorhees: "But, the moon was full, and you had the chance to be alone..."

-The light turns green and Jason takes a left right turn.

Jason Voorhees: "...But you're not alone, this is your last dance and your last romance..."

-Jason starts driving down Woody Allen Ave.

Jason Voorhees: "...Yeah, cause he's back....he's the man behind the mask..."

-Jason, a bit drunk and not paying attention to the road, runs over a man walking across the street. His brains splatter on his windshield.

Jason Voorhees: "...And he's out of control...He's back...the man behind the mask...And he crawled out of his hole..."

-Jason turns on the windshield wipers to clean the splattered brains.

Jason Voorhees: "...Oh, if you see him comin', get away if you can, just keep on runnin'..."

-A police car drives up behind Jason's BMW X5 SUV. The police officer in it recognizes Jason's SUV and radios the Chief.

Police Officer: "Hey, I found that truck that caused that pile up down the highway!"

Police Chief: "You sure it's the one?"

Police Officer: "I'd say so. It looks pretty banged up."

Police Chief: "Then, go after it and arrest the suspect!"

Police Officer: "Certainly!"

-The police officer turns on his cars emergency lights to signal Jason. Jason, the singing drunk he is, doesn't notice.

Jason Voorhees: "...And he's out tonight, and he's watchin' you..."

-The police officer drives up to the left side of the SUV. He tries to yell at Jason.

Police Officer: "Pull over!"

Jason Voorhees: "...And he knows your house, no, don't turn on the lights..."

Police Officer: "I repeat: Pull over!"

-Jason takes a left turn and ends ups sideswiping the police car and crashing it to the street corner.

Police Officer: "Shit!"

Jason Voorhees: "Yeah, cause I'm back!...I'm the man behind mask!...And I'm out of control!..."

-The police officer gets back on the road and catches up to Jason. He drives up to his right side.

Jason Voorhees: "...I'm back!...The man behind the mask!...And I'm after your soul!..."

-Jason, as drunk as he is, swerves to the right. The police officer sees Jason's move and drives out of the way in time. He drives up to the left side of the the SUV.

Jason Voorhees: "...I'm back!...I'm the man behind the mask!...And I'm out of control!..."

-Jason swerves to his left and sideswipes the police car, leaving him to crash into an opposing car.

Police Officer: "I can't believe this! The audacity of that driver!"

-Jason takes a right turn back onto Woody Allen Ave.

Jason Voorhees: "...I'm back!...The man behind the mask!...And I'm after your soul!"

-The police officer starts catching up with the SUV. Jason drives toward the end of a block.

Jason Voorhees: "...I'm back!...I'm the man behind the mask!...And I'm out of control!..."

-The police officer catches up with the SUV and drives up the left side. Seeing the red light ahead, Jason stops his car at the end of block.

Jason Voorhees: "...That's right, I'm back!...The man behind the mask!...And I'm after your soul baby!"

-The police officer, not paying to the red light drives past the SUV. Realizing he's in an intercepting road, the police officer immediately stops his car.

Police Officer: "Whew!"

-The police officer looks to his right, and realizes he's still on the intercepting road.

Police Officer: "Oh, shit!"

-The police officer also sees an intercepting bus come for him.

Police Officer: "Nooo...!"

-The bus smashes with the police car, and the police car bursts into flames. Jason notices.

Jason Voorhees: "Whoa! What happened to him?"

-Of course, Jason didn't even know that, that police car was chasing him. Jason pulled another homer!

CUT TO...a dictionary page. The word "homer," a noun, has the following definition: To succeed despite idiocy. Jason's picture is provided as an example.

CUT BACK TO...Jason, now driving back on Woody Allen Ave.

Jason Voorhees: "I gotta tell Fred and Mike, about that accident! Heh, I should also call Mike and make sure he's okay too."

-Jason whips out his cell phone and calls Michael. What Jason hears on other other line is not Michael, but someone that sounds just like him, as if he was a clone.

Jason Voorhees #2: "Hello?"

Jason Voorhees: "Hey!"

Jason Voorhees #2: "Hey!"

Jason Voorhees: "Who the hell are you?"

Jason Voorhees #2: "Who do you think? I'm Jason Voorhees!"

Jason Voorhees: "You're not Jason Voorhees! I'm Jason Voorhees!"

Jason Voorhees #2: "You must be mistaken."

Jason Voorhees: "No, you must be mistaken!"

Jason Voorhees #2: "No, you must...no sense in repeating things. You have a case of mistaken identity..."

The other Jason burps just like Jason would if he was drunk.

Jason Voorhees #2: "...Excuse me. Anyway..."

Jason Voorhees: "No, please, let me excuse myself, thanks! I called your phone expecting to hear from Michael Myers! Michael Myers! Did you take over Michael?! Are you a body snatcher or something?!?"

Jason Voorhees #2: "You are insanely mistaken. Get professional help."

-The other Jason hangs up on the real Jason.

Jason Voorhees: "Am I still drunk? Am I going crazy?! Am I stuck in the Twilight Zone?!? I'm going to call Fred!"

-Jason calls Freddy and hears another clone of him.

Jason Voorhees #2: "Hello?"

Jason Voorhees: "Hey, why do you sound like me?"

Jason Voorhees #2: "Why do you sound like me? Are you my clone??"

Jason Voorhees: "I don't think so! Of all things, you'd be my clone. I'm Jason Voorhees!"

Jason Voorhees #2: "No, I'm Jason Voorhees."

Jason Voorhees: "No, you're not! I'm Jason Voorhees! I'm the Crystal Lake Killer!"

Jason Voorhees #2: "I don't know what you are talking about. You are mistaken. I suggest you get help."

-The other Jason hangs up on the real Jason. Or is the other Jason the real Jason? The Jason in the BMW X5 SUV Freaks out.

Jason Voorhees: "What's going on here? Why is this happening to me?! Is this Dimension X?!?"

-Jason sees Michael's apartment building.

Jason Voorhees: "Ah, there's Mike's building. I'll find out what's going on."

-Jason drives his BMW X5 SUV into the underground parking. He parks his truck and heads to the entrance area. He gets in the elevator and pushes the button to Michael's floor. Jason sighs as the elevator starts going up.

-Suddenly, his cell phone rings, freaking him out.

Jason Voorhees: "Aah!"

-Jason looks at his ringing cell phone for a moment. Then he, hesitantly, answers back.

Jason Voorhees: "Mike?"

Jason Voorhees #2: "No, this is Jason."

Jason Voorhees: "No, I'm Jason!"

Jason Voorhees #2: "Excuse me, you are mistaken. I am Jason. Jason Voorhees."

Jason Voorhees: "No, you're not! I'm Jason Voorhees! Why are you doing this to me?!"

Jason Voorhees #2: "Why am I do what?"

Jason Voorhees: "Why are you freaking me out, pretending to be me? Stop it!"

Jason Voorhees #2: "Stop what?"

Jason Voorhees: "I can't take this anymore!"

-Jason hangs up on the other Jason. That's when the elevator stops. The elevator doors slide open and a man walks in. The man presses the button to his intended floor and the elevator starts going back up. The man notices Jason shaken at the corner of the elevator. He shrugs and waits for his intended floor.

-That's when Jason's cell phone rings again, freaking out Jason.

Jason Voorhees: "Aah!"

-The man looks over at Jason. Jason, embarrassed, hangs up on the caller. Then, the cell phone rings again. The man looks over at Jason.

Jason Voorhees: "Heh, heh, heh, this stupid phone."

-Jason hangs up on the caller again. Then, his cell phone rings again. Jason can't take it anymore. He answers it.

Jason Voorhees: "Hello??"

-Another Jason clone or body snatcher.

Jason Voorhees 2: "Hello??"

Jason Voorhees: "Who is this?"

Jason Voorhees #2: "Who is this?"

-The man looks at Jason suspiciously.

Jason Voorhees: "Why are you calling me?"

Jason Voorhees #2: "Why are you calling me?"

Jason Voorhees: "I don't know who you are, but I'm Jason! Jason Voorhees! The Crystal Lake Killer!"

Jason Voorhees #2: "I don't know who you are, but I'm Jason! Jason Voorhees! The Crsytal Lake Killer!"

-The man overhears Jason and gets scared. He immediately starts pressing floors to earlier floors.

Jason Voorhees: "Stop repeating me!"

Jason Voorhees #2: "Stop repeating me!"

Jason Voorhees: "Stop!"

-The man, freaking out, presses more buttons to earlier floors.

Jason Voorhees #2: "Stop!"

Jason Voorhees: "Aah!"

Jason Voorhees #2: "Aah!"

-Jason, freaking out, hangs up on the cell phone. Then, he drops the cell phone and stomps on it violently. This freaks out the man even more. Jason thinks of that old flashback of little Tommy Jarvis slashing him to death with the machete.

Tommy Jarvis: "Die! Die! Die! Die!..."

-Jason stomps on the cell phone more, scaring the man.

Jason Voorhees: "...Die! Die! Die! Die!..."

-Jason finishes stomping his cell phone. Then, he notices the man look absolutely petrified. That's when the elevator stops and the doors slide open. The man flees out of the elevator and down the hallway. The elevator starts going back up again and Jason sighs.

Jason Voorhees: "Man, Mike lives on high floor."

-A moment later, the elevator stops on Michael's floor. Jason gets out of the elevator and heads down the hallway to Michael's apartment. He stops at apartment no. 666, Michael's pad. Jason waits outside the hall for a moment. Finally, he knocks on the door. A moment passes and Jason hears a figure walk up the door. The door creaks open a little bit and Jason hears the person walk away from the creaking door, back in the living room.

Jason Voorhees: "Mike? Fred?

-No response. Jason walks up to the and slowly opens it up. He cautiously peaks around the door. He can't see anything. He steps in and past the door. He still can't see much from where he is. In the living room around the corner, he Jason can hear the TV.

Jason Voorhees: "Mike? Fred?"

-Silence. Finally, Jason comes closer towards the living room and gets a glimpse who's watching the TV...Two Jason clones or body snatchers!

Jason Voorhees: "Aah!"

-The two Jason's look over at Jason. Then, they shrug. Jason doesn't know what to make of the situation at all!

Jason Voorhees: "Fred?"

-One of the Jasons shakes his head.

Jason Voorhees: "Mike?"

-The other Jason shakes his head. Jason gulps.

Jason Voorhees: "Todd?"

-Both Jasons shake their heads. Then, they both get up and face Jason. They turn to each other and whip out machetes. Jason freaks outs and runs away from Michael's pad, down the hall.

Jason Voorhees: "Aah!"

Later on in the evening, Jason is asleep in his BMW X5 SUV in the underground parking lot of the apartment complex. Suddenly, Freddy and Michael wake him up from outside the SUV.

Freddy Krueger: "Hey pussface, wake up!

Michael Myers: "Hey, Jason!

-Jason is startled. He looks around groggily.

Jason Voorhees: "Huh?"

-Then, remembering what happened before, or what he thought happened before, Jason freaks out. He bursts of his SUV and looks around the parking lot area.

Jason Voorhees: "Watch out! There are two clones of me out there! Or, body snatchers of me, something!"

Michael Myers: "What?"

Freddy Krueger: "Have you been drinking, Jason?"

Jason Voorhees: "Yes, but I still saw two other Jasons! And, they called me too! They repeated everything I said as they were me!"

Michael Myers: "What are you talking about?"

Jason Voorhees: "Those two other Jasons! They were in your pad!"

-Michael looks at Jason, then turns to Freddy.

Michael Myers: "Yeah, he's definitely drunk."

Jason Voorhees: "I'm not drunk! Well, I sort of am. But, I can't deny what I saw! It was real!"

-Michael turns to Freddy, then back to Jason.

Michael Myers: "Okay, tell me. What did you see? What happened tonight?"

Jason Voorhees: "Okay. After you got angry at me this afternoon and told me to leave..."

-Michael sighs.

Jason Voorhees: "...I went out to Pinhead's night club for a drink."

Freddy Krueger: "Oh, so you did get drunk!"

-Jason sighs. Michael shoves Freddy.

Michael Myers: "Let him finish."

Jason Voorhees: "Anyway, it's about late in the afternoon, and I get a call...from myself! It was like I was talking to a clone of myself."

Freddy Krueger: "Or a body snatcher as you said before, right?"

Jason Voorhees: "Yeah, exactly! And, this clone or whatever repeated everything I said as if it was trying to be me. In fact, two different clones of me called. There were two different numbers from callers, I was unfamiliar with."

Michael Myers: "And, then what?"

Jason Voorhees: "And, then Todd calls and comforts me. And, I figured that I was drunk, and it was all in my head. So, I left Pinhead's night club and headed for your pad. I thought I would go see if you were okay. I was going to apologize."

-Michael sighs.

Jason Voorhees: "And along the way, I decide to call you ahead of time. But, I didn't get you. I got some other clone of me with your number. And, he thought he was me!"

-Freddy turns to Michael.

Jason Voorhees: "And, then I called Freddy, and..."

Michael Myers: "Jason, Jason, calm down. You must have a had a dream. There is no other explanation."

Jason Voorhees: "But, how do you know?"

Michael Myers: "Because, Freddy and I were waiting for you to come back. I felt bad about scolding the way I did. I shouldn't have been so hard on you."

-Jason sighs.

Michael Myers: "And anyway, there were no other Jasons, or copies of you, in our pad this afternoon. At all."

Freddy Krueger: "Yeah pussface, the only hockey goalie I've seen since early this afternoon is you, right now. I felt bad, too."

-Jason sighs.

Jason Voorhees: "Man, what a Friday the 13th today turned out to be."

Michael Myers: "It's okay."

Freddy Krueger: "Yeah, it is."

Michael Myers: "You know, it appears that your mind played a prank against yourself. You must came back here after drinking at Pinhead's night club, and fell asleep."

Jason Voorhees: "Yeah, I guess."

Freddy Krueger: "At least you didn't fall asleep along the way here."

Jason Voorhees: "Oh, yeah."

Michael Myers: "Well, at least you're okay. Let's go back up to my pad. We'll watch 'Friday The 13'."

Jason Voorhees: "That would be nice."

-Later on in the evening, Jason is back with Freddy and Michael in Michael's pad. They are about to watch "Friday The 13th."

Freddy Krueger: "Before we start the movie, I got a quick call to make.."

Michael Myers: "And, I have to go to the bathroom."

-Jason relaxes on the sofa.

Jason Voorhees: "Whatever."

-Michael heads to the bathroom and Freddy goes into a back room to make his call. A moment passes. Then, Jason's cell phone rings. Not his regular cell phone. That was mysteriously missing. He was getting a mysterious call on the spare cell phone he used to call Michael with as Moustapha Akkad, when he pranked Michael earlier that day.

Jason Voorhees: "Hey! Why am I getting a call on this phone?"

-Jason shrugs and answers.

Jason Voorhees: "Hello?"

-Again, Jason hears another clone of him with the same voice.

Jason Voorhees #2: "Hello?"

Jason Voorhees: "Hey!"

Jason Voorhees #2: "Hey!"

Jason Voorhees: "This can't be happening!"

-Jason hangs up on the caller. Then, he gets another mysterious call. Jason doesn't know what to do. He answers it.

Jason Voorhees: "He-Hello?"

Jason Voorhees #2: "He-Hello?"

Jason Voorhees: "Damnit!"

Jason Voohrees #2: "Damnit!"

-Jason hangs up on the other mysterious caller.

Jason Voorhees: "What's happening to me?"

-That's when a clone of Jason comes out of the back room and whips out a machete.

Jason Voorhees: "Aah!"

-Then, another clone of Jason comes walks out of the bathroom. He turns to Jason and whips out a machete also.

Jason Voorhees: "Aah! This can't be happening!"

-Jason pinches himself to wake himself up.

Jason Voorhees: "Wake me up! Wake me up!"

-Both clones of Jason turn to each other and laugh. Jason freaks out. Then, one of the clones slips off his hockey mask...to reveal the burnt face of Freddy! And, the other clone slips off his hockey mask...to reveal the face of Michael! Jason can't believe his eyes.

Jason Voorhees: "What??"

-Freddy and Michael turn to each other, then to Jason...and burst out laughing! Jason doesn't know what to make of this. Then, he starts making sense of it.

Jason Voorhees: "Wait a minute! The whole time...

-Freddy and Michael laugh more.

Jason Voorhees: "...that whole time..."

-Freddy and Michael laugh their hearts out.

Jason Voorhees: "...that...that whole damn time, it was you guys?!"

-Freddy and Michael can't take it, they fall to ground and roll on the floor laughing their asses off! Jason can't help it either, he joins with Freddy and Michael.

Jason Voorhees: "I can't believe you guys did that!"

Freddy Krueger: "We sure fooled your ass!"

Jason Voorhees: "You can say that again! How and when did you set this up?"

Michael Myers: "I can tell you that! Upon heading home from the Dimension studio, I went over to Radio Shack and got Freddy and I two of those dandy voice boxes. Then, I bought us two new cell phones, so you wouldn't know it was us. Basically, we gave you a piece of your own medicine!"

Jason Voorhees: "You sure did!"

Freddy Krueger: "I didn't understand your plan at first, Mike, but it sure paid off!"

Michael Myers: "Yeah!"

-Freddy high-fives Michael. Freddy, Jason and Michael, get up and relieve from their laughter.

Jason Voorhees: "Well, you guys sure showed me."

-That's when they hear a blood-curdling scream from a nearby apartment.

Freddy Krueger: "Hey, that's Mark Patton!"

-Freddy, Jason and Michael, burst into the hallway and break into Mark Patton's apartment...only to find his corpse a bloody mess on the floor. Freddy, Jason and Michael, are shocked.

Michael Myers: "What the..."

Freddy Krueger: "Who did this?"

Jason Voorhees: "It wasn't me, I can tell you that!"

Freddy Krueger: "I can't believe this!"

Michael Myers: "My neighbor..."

Jason Voorhees: "I feel so bad. After all those times we hassled him and mocked him..."

Freddy Krueger: "Yeah..."

Michael Myers: "It wasn't your fault guys. Whoever did this..."

-Suddenly, Mark Patton sits up.

Mark Patton: "Ha! Gotcha!"

-Freddy, Jason and Michael, are caught off guard.

Mark Patton: "After all those times you guys harassed me, I finally get my due! This Friday the 13th, I get the last laugh!"

-Suddenly, Todd bursts in the room.

Todd: "I don't think so!"

-Todd whips out his machete and slashes Mark Patton with it.

Mark Patton: "Hey! Argh!"

-Todd continues slashing Mark Patton. Blood splatters on Todd.

Michael Myers: "Todd, stop!"

-Todd doesn't listen and keeps slashing him.

Jason grabs Todd and shoves him away from Mark Patton. They watch as it is too late and Mark Patton dies off. Jason sighs.

Jason Voorhees: "Todd, what do you think you're doing?"

Todd: "What? I thought I'd throw in the last prank."

Jason Voorhees: "By killing Mark Patton?"

Todd: "I thought you would have wanted that. I thought you would have been proud."

-Todd sighs.

Todd: "Sorry."

-Michael sighs.

Mcihael Myers: "It's all right. You didn't know any better. Freddy and I will clean up his remains. Why don't you and Jason can go downstairs to the thirty-fourth floor and clean house while we do this?"

Todd: "Sure!"

Jason Voorhees: "Yeah!"

-Jason and Todd wonder off to clean house on the thirty-fourth floor of the apartment complex, while Freddy and Michael clean up the remains of Mark Patton.

THE END

Jason vs. the Internet