-Suddenly, Knightrider, Michael Knight, looking a lot like David Hasselhoff, speeds by in his Pontiac Trans-Am. He nearly sideswipes Michael's Corvette and Rusty Nail's Viper, as well as other cars further up road.

Michael Knight: "I'm the king of the world!"

-K.I.T.T., the program in the Trans-Am responds back.

K.I.T.T.: "Yes, we are."

Michael Myers: "Who's this bozo?"

Rusty Nail: "Let's get `em!"

-Michael Myers and Rusty Nail speed up and catch up with the Trans-Am. They drive around him and close up ahead of him, not letting go by.

Michael Knight: "What's this shit?"

K.I.T.T.: "I believe they are angry at you for passing them."

Michael Knight: "Oh, yeah?"

-Michael Knight steers his Trans-Am to the left to pass the Corvette. But Michael Myers and Rusty Nail both drive left with him, not letting him pass. Michael Knight, frustrated, then steers to the right to pass the Viper. And, the Viper and Corvette both drive right, blocking his way.

Michael Knight: "Oh, I can't believe this!"

Michael Myers: "Ha!"

Rusty Nail: "We got him!"

K.I.T.T.: "Try in between the sports cars."

Michael Knight: "Oh, of course! I was, uh, about to do that!"

K.I.T.T.: "Yeah, sure."

-Michael Knight speeds up his Trans-Am to the second gear to drive in the lane between the Corvette and Viper, but the two sports cars close in on him. Michael Knight slows down and is pissed off.

Michael Knight: "I can't believe this! I really can't believe this! How dare they do this to me! Don't they know who I am?!"

K.I.T.T.: "A washed up Knightrider, that's what you are."

Michael Knight: "Oh, shut up!"

-Michael Knight sighs of frustration.

Michael Knight: "I'm not going to let them get away with this. Never!"

-Michael Knight backs his car away, slowing down. Then, he shifts up to the second gear. Then, the third. He speeds up roaring his engine at the Corvette and Viper.

Michael Myers: "He here comes!"

Rusty Nail: "Let's get `em!"

-Michael and Rusty Nail start to close in on the Trans-Am, but Michael Knight manages to break through them. He sideswipes them pushing them to two sides of the road and speeds away.

Michael Knight: "Ha!"

K.I.T.T.: "We got them."

Michael Knight: "Yes, we did! Yes, we did!"

Michael Myers: "I can't believe the nerve of that guy!"

Rusty Nail: "Let's not let him get away. He damaged our cars. He's going to pay for this!"

Michael Myers: "He sure is!"

-Michael Myers and Rusty Nail drive back onto the street, and with mostly empty road ahead, they speed up.

(Cue for Alice Cooper's rock song, "Hard Rock Summer")

-They shift their cars to their second gears. Then, to the third. Michael is now driving at 100 miles per hour!

Freddy Krueger: "Oh, boy!"

-Further up the road, Michael Knight speeds his Trans-Am in happy glee. Two dots in the mirror suddenly start growing bigger. The Corvette and Viper are catching up.

K.I.T.T.: "The two sports cars are catching up."

-Michael Knight, who wasn't paying attention, talks back to his car.

Michael Knight: "Hey, I can see that you fool! Don't you think I have eyes?"

K.I.T.T.: "Obviously, you don't."

-Michael Myers and Rusty Nail catch up to Rusty Nail. They drive up to his sides. Michael Knight shifts to his car's fourth gear and speed up. Michael Myers and Rusty Nail do the same and keep up with him. Upon seeing groups of cars up ahead at separate sides of the road, Michael Myers and Rusty Nail slow down and drive behind The Trans-Am.

-Michael Knight slows down to the third gear and drives around the groups of cars in a left and right motion. Michael Myers and Rusty Nail do the same. Up ahead is a group of cars in the center of road. Michael Knight goes around the left side. Michael Myers drives his Corvette around the left side of the group of cars and Rusty Nail takes the ride.

-Now with open road ahead, Michael Knight speeds up and shifts his car back to the forth gear. He drives further away from the Corvette and Viper. Michael Myers and Rusty Nail shift up their fourth gears and catch up to the Trans-Am. Seeing the two dots in his mirror grow bigger, Michael Knights sighs of frustration.

K.I.T.T.: "They are going to keep up with you."

Michael Knight: "Not if I can help it."

-Michael Knight shifts up to his car's fifth gear and speeds up. Michael Myers and Rusty Nail see the Trans-Am disappear down the road. They speed up to their fifth gears and start catching up to him seeing the dot up further up the road grow bigger. Michael Myers is now driving at a blistering 180 miles per hour!

Freddy Krueger: "Wow!"

-Michael Knight gets angry seeing the two dots in the mirror grow bigger.

Michael Knight: "Dammit!"

K.I.T.T.: "They are faster than you."

Michael Knight: "No, they aren't."

K.I.T.T.: "Yes, they are."

Michael Knight: "No, they aren't!"

-Michael Myers and Rusty Nail catch up to Michael Knight. They drive up to his sides. That's when they drive in on him in attempt to sideswipe the Trans-Am. Michael Knight saw their move coming and slows down behind them.

Michael Knight: "Ha!"

-That's when Michael Knight speeds up in attempt to sideswipe them. But, the Corvette and Viper drive out of the way in time.

Rusty Nail: "Again!"

-Michael Myers and Rusty Nail drive in to sideswipe the Trans-Am again.

K.I.T.T.: "They are attempting to sideswipe you again."

Michael Knight: "I can see that!"

-Michael Knight backs away to slow down again, but doesn't make it in time. The Corvette and Viper and side-swipe the front his Trans-Am, leaving it banged up.

Michael Knight: "No!"

Freddy Krueger: "We got him! We got him!"

K.I.T.T.: "Your reaction time was slow. I warned you that they were driving in on you."

Michael Knight: "Yeah, well, did I ever ask you for help?"

K.I.T.T.: "Clearly, you need it."

Michael Knight: "Well, I got an idea."

-Michael Knight slows down his car to the first gear and turns his Trans-Am around. He drives his car into an alley.

Michael Myers: "Did you see that? He drove into that alley."

Rusty Nail: "And, so are we."

-Michael Myers and Rusty Nail turn their cars around and drive into the alley.

Freddy Krueger: "Let's get `em! Let's get `em!"

-Rusty Nail leads the way into the alley. Behind him, Michael Knight sees the Viper catching up. And, behind him is the Corvette.

Michael Knight: "I can't believe this!"

-Michael Knight drives out of the alley and onto the street. He speeds up to his car's second gear. Then to the third. And, the fourth. Michael Myers and Rusty Nail drive out of the alley and start catching up with the Trans-Am.

(Uncue "Hard Rock Summer"; Re-cue for Alice Cooper's rock song, "I'm a Teenage Frankenstein")

-Michael Myers and Rusty nail shift their cars up to their second gears. Then, their third gear. And, their fourth gear. Michael is now driving towards 150 miles per hour!

Freddy Krueger: "Now, I know how Jason felt when Rusty Nail chased you guys last year. This is so cool!"

-Michael Knight watches as the two dots in the mirror grow bigger again.

K.I.T.T.: "They are still coming."

Michael Knight: "Yeah, I can see that!"

-Michael Myers and Rusty Nail drive up to the sides of Michael Knight's Trans-Am. That's when they both drive in on him to sideswipe the Trans-Am. Michael Knight saw that move coming and backs away slowing down. Michael Myers and Rusty Nail also saw that Michael Knight's move coming and suddenly drive back with him too.

Michael Knight: "No!"

-The Corvette and Viper back away towards the Trans-Am front end, leaving it more banged up.

Freddy Krueger: "We got `em! We got the sucker!"

-The Corvette and Viper both continue to back away on the Trans-Am, banging it up even more. (Craaaaaaaaaa...) (Cruuuuuuuuuu...)

-Michael Knight is dumbfounded.

Michael Knight: "I can't believe this! I can't believe this!"

K.I.T.T.: "Believe it. Drive back and turn around."

Michael Knight: "Of course!"

-Michael Knight starts to drive back when he crashes his Trans-Am's rear into a dumpster. The Corvette and Viper backed him all the way to the side of the road. The Trans-Am's rear is also banged up.

Michael Knight: "Crap!"

Michael Myers: "We're getting him!"

Rusty Nail: "We sure are!"

-The Corvette and Viper turn around and face the Trans-Am. Michael Knight looks in despair. He's cornered.

Rusty Nail: "We got him cornered. Let's get `em!"

-Michael Myers and Rusty Nail back away their cars. Then, they start speeding up to bang him up more and teach him a lesson.

Michael Knight: "I don't think so!"

-Michael Knight quickly shifts his car to the second gear and manages to speed back onto the street. Michael Myers and Rusty Nail stop their cars in their tracks and start turning around as the Trans-Am speeds down the road.

Rusty Nail: "That son of a bitch is quick."

-Michael Myers and Rusty Nail turn their cars around and face the Trans-Am further down the road. That's when Michael Knight slows down and swerves his car around. He now faces the Corvette and Viper looking his way.

Michael Myers: "What's he doing?"

Rusty Nail: "I don't think he's Mr. Nice Guy anymore."

Freddy Krueger: "Since when was he nice?"

Michael Knight: "They damaged my precious car. They aren't going to get away with this!"

-Michael Knights starts down the road shifts to his car's second gear. Then, the third. And, the fourth. Seeing the Trans-Am storm towards them, Michael Myers and Rusty Nail speed towards the competing sports car.

Rusty Nail: "Let's give him duel."

Michael Myers: "Yeah."

Freddy Krueger: "Oh, this is going to be good!"

-The Corvette and Viper speed toward the Trans-Am coming their way. Michael Myers and Rusty Nail speed up to their car's second, third, and fourth gears. Michael Knight does the same. Michael Myers and Rusty Nail continue down the strip or road toward the Trans-Am. They aren't going to budge from their positions. Michael Knight continues down his path. He's not budging either. The competing sports cars head into each other - and the Trans-Am violently crashes into the Viper.

-Both cars collide violently splashing over to the side of the road. Rusty Nail's Viper is totaled. It is pretty banged up. The Trans-Am is banged up too, but not as much as the Viper. Michael stops his car upon collision of the two other sports cars. He and Freddy are in awe over what happened.

Freddy Krueger: "Whoa!"

Michael Myers: "Geez."

-Rusty Nail and Michael Knight both try to re-start their engines - and only the Trans-Am switches back on. Rusty Nail's Viper isn't going anywhere. Michael Knight drives back onto the street to challenge the Corvette. Michael drives back onto the road to face the Trans-Am.

Rusty Nail: "Get that son of a bitch! Get him for me!"

Michael Myers: "You got it."

-Michael Knight starts driving after the Corvette. Michael Myers shifts his car up to its second gear. Michael Knight does the same keeping up with the Corvette. Michael Myers looks as the Trans-Am nears his car's rear. Then, he shifts up to the third gear. He speeds further up the road passing random cars.

-Up ahead are several groups of cars. Michael Myers drives around them in a left to right motion. Michael Knight does the same keeping up with him. Now with plenty of open road, Michael goes for it and speeds up to the fourth gear. Michael Knight does the same. He drives up to the side of the Corvette. That's when Michael Knight drives in to sideswipe him - but Michael Myers shifts to the fifth gear in time and speeds further up the road. Michael is now driving towards 200 miles per hour!

Freddy Krueger: "Oh, man!"

Michael Knight: "Dammit!"

K.I.T.T.: "This is your last chance."

Michael Knight: "This will be your last chance if you don't shut up!"

-Michael Knight shifts up to his car's fifth gear and speeds up to catch up with the Corvette. Freddy watches as a dot in the mirror grows bigger.

Freddy Krueger: "He's coming."

Michael Myers: "And, I'm ready for him."

-The Trans-Am catches up with the Corvette. Michael Knight looks as his Trans-Am and the Corvette are the only solid objects in sight. Everything around them is zooming by almost at the speed of light. He drives in and sideswipes the Corvette. Driving at the amazing speed he's going, Michael nearly loses control.

Michael Knight: "Ha!"

-Michael Myers slows down to regain control and speeds up to go after the Trans-Am. Michael Knight looks in the mirror as a dot grows bigger.

Michael Knight: "Here he comes again."

-Michael Myers catches up with the Trans-Am. Before Michael Knight can sideswipe him again, the Corvette suddenly sideswipes him. Michael Knight and his Trans-Am are sent splashing to the other side of the street. His car is even more banged up than before. Michael's Corvette took more damage, but it is not too bad.

-Michael Knight is shaken from the collision.

K.I.T.T.: "You we've been wiped out."

Michael Knight: "No I haven't. You've been wiped out!"

-Michael Knight bangs on the console of his car and the program dies down.

K.I.T.T.: "Nooo..."

-Michael Knight then looks out the window...only to see that his side of the car is facing upcoming cars! The cars, including the brand new Lexus 430 film critic James Berardinelli is driving, aren't able to brake in time. James Berardinelli, who's not paying attention to the road, is talking on his cell phone.

James Berardinelli: "...'Spider-man 2' sucks! 'Anchorman' sucks! 'King Arthur' sucks! And, 'Stab 4' sucks even more! All movies suck! And, I rule!!"

Michael Knight: "Oh, shit!"

(Uncue "I'm a Teenage Frankenstein")

-The cars crash into the Trans-Am and into each other (Craaaaash! Cruuuunch!). They all crash into each other, via front-to-back, front-to-side, back-to-side, etc. (Craaaaash! Cruuuuunch!). It is a big mess. Michael Knight's Trans-Am is totally banged up and his car is stuck in the middle of the car pile-up. James Berardinelli's brand new Lexus 430 is completely totaled beyond recognition.

James Berardinelli: "First, 'Stab 4,' and now this?!"

-Michael Myers drives away pleased.

Michael Myers: "Well, we got him!"

Freddy Krueger: "That was incredible! Wait until Jason finds out!"

-Michael talks back to Rusty nail on his cell phone.

Michael Myers: "Hey Rusty, we got `em. We got `em good!"

Rusty Nail: "Very good to hear. I'm glad."

Michael Myers: "Are you going to be okay?"

Rusty Nail: "It's all right. Go on without me. I've called for a tow truck to pick me up."

Michael Myers: "What about are your Viper? You think it can be fixed?"

Rusty Nail: "I don't think so. It's done. I'll buy another one. But, it was worth it!"

Michael Myers: "Yes, it was."

Rusty Nail: "I'll see you guys another time. Maybe we'll end up teaching another street racer a lesson."

Michael Myers: "I'll be looking forward to that."

-Michael hangs up on Rusty and heads for the movie theater.

CUT TO...Jerry Seinfeld and Kramer at the movie theater buying their tickets at the ticket booth. Behind them is a long line of people, most of which are anxious to see "Spider-man 2" and "Anchorman: The Legend of Ron Burgundy."

Jerry Seinfeld: "Two for 'Stab 4'."

-The ticket holder gives Jerry the tickets, and Jerry and Kramer walk into the lobby. In the lobby is entrance leading to the theater rooms, the concession stand and a video arcade. At the entrance area are two long lines of people awaiting for next shows of "Spider-man 2" and "Anchorman: The Legend of Ron Burgundy."

Jerry Seinfeld: "I'm getting popcorn. What about you?"

Kramer: "I'll have some if your getting it."

Jerry Seinfeld: "Not if your going to eat out of my bag and gobble it all up. Get your own."

Kramer: "Fine."

-Kramer whips out a cup of cappuccino from his jacket. He takes a sip.

Jerry Seinfeld: "What's that?"

Kramer: "Cappuccino."

Jerry Seinfeld: "They won't let you bring in outside food."

Kramer: "Not if they don't know."

-Then, Kramer whips out a wrapper of Junior Mints.

Jerry Seinfeld: "You even have Junior Mints?"

Kramer: "What? They're sweet. They're crunchy. They're delicious!"

-Jerry shrugs and heads over to the concession stand. Also in the lobby is Jason, with four tickets for "Stab 4," waiting for Freddy, Michael and Chucky, to arrive. Jason checks the time.

Jason Voorhees: "Come on."

-That's when Freddy and Michael finally come in the lobby. Jason greets them.

Jason Voorhees: "Finally."

Freddy Krueger: "You won't believe what happened on the way here!"

Jason Voorhees: "What?"

Freddy Krueger: "We ran into Rusty Nail!"

Jason Voorhees: "Rusty Nail? You mean..."

Freddy Krueger: "Yeah, the guy that chased you and Mike around New York last year."

Michael Myers: "And, the guy who helped you on that drunken joy ride of yours."

Jason Voorhees: "No shit?"

Freddy Krueger: "No shit!"

Jason Voorhees: "What happened?"

Michael Myers: "A speed racer in a Trans-Am came out of nowhere nearly sideswiping our cars."

Freddy Krueger: "So, Michael and Rusty drove after the guy to teach him a lesson!"

Michael Myers: "And, we sure did! We damaged our cars doing so, but it was worth it."

Jason Voorhees: "Is your Vette okay?"

Michael Myers: "It's pretty banged up, but I can still drive it. I'll get in the shop in the morning. My machanic, Putty, knows just what to do."

Jason Voorhees: "Well, I wish I was there! It must have so awesome."

Freddy Krueger: "Oh, it was! It was like that movie '2 Fast 2 Furious,' only real!"

Michael Myers: "Did you get our tickets?"

-Jason whips out the four tickets for "Stab 4."

Jason Voorhees: "Sure did. But you know what, I didn't even need to get here early for them. Most of the people here are for 'Spider-man 2' and 'Anchorman,' not 'Stab 4'."

Michael Myers: "Good. That way, it will make hardly any money and there won't be a 'Stab 5'."

Freddy Krueger: "Good point."

Michael Myers: "Well, let's get popcorn."

Freddy Krueger: "You go ahead. I'm sneaking in chips and soda."

-Jason whips out a brown bag from his grungy jacket.

Michael Myers: "What's that?"

Jason Voorhees: "Chinese food. I just bought it from that take-out place right next to the theater."

Michael Myers: "Well, I'll be right back with popcorn."

-Michael goes over to the concession stand to get popcorn and soda. Jerry Seinfeld leaves the concession stand at the same time to meet back with Kramer.

Jerry Seinfeld: "Let's go."

-They go up to the entrance area and head up to the usher to get through to their theater room. Jerry stops when he sees a familiar face at the long line of people waiting for the next showing of "Spider-man 2" - ex-girlfriend, Deloris. He had never gotten her name upon initially meeting her and had a time hard time figuring it out. Apparently, it rhymed with a female body part. Deloris notices Jerry.

Deloris: "Jerry?"

-Jerry still doesn't know her name.

Jerry Seinfeld: "Uh...Mulva?"

-Deloris slaps Jerry. That's when the line of for 'Spider-man 2' starts moving and Deloris disappears. Kramer returns to Jerry urging him to hurry up.

Kramer: "Previews, Jerry, previews!"

Jerry Seinfeld: "Yeah, yeah."

-Jerry and Kramer head to the Usher. Jason turns to Freddy.
Jason Voorhees: "Wait, where's Chucky?"

Freddy Krueger: "He couldn't come. He had to take care of the twins tonight."

Jason Voorhees: "Then, what do I do with this fourth ticket? It cost me eight dollars!"

Freddy Krueger: "You can always go back to the box-office and refund it."

Jason Voorhees: "Oh, okay."

-Jason starts to head for the box-office. That's when Ash from the two "Evil Dead" movies and "Army of Darkness" approaches them. He has an artificial right hand, where his chainsaw can attach to.

Ash: "Well, look what two pussies decided to show up."

-Freddy and Jason are surprised by Ash. Jason attempts to whip out his machete, but Freddy stops him.

Freddy Krueger: "What's up your ass, Ash?"

Ash: "What do you think? You two pussies backed out of 'Freddy vs. Jason vs. Ash'."

-Jason attempts to whip out his machete again, but Freddy stops him.

Freddy Krueger: "Oh, please. You know full well that, that ridiculous concept was only a rumor that went too far."

Ash: "Oh, really? I wouldn't say that. You and that hockey goalie there..."

-Jason attempts to whip out his machete once more, but Freddy stops him.

Ash: "...Refused to do a sequel to that your film, 'Freddy vs. Jason.' I was more than happy to do it. I mean, that versus film of yours was a joke. And, not a funny one either. And, it was hardly a versus film. Your movie should have been called 'Friday The 13th on a Nightmare on Elm Street'."

Freddy Krueger: "Jason and I didn't go on to do 'Freddy vs. Jason vs. Ash'...god, what a horrible title...because, we want to go our separate ways and do single sequels to our own franchises. 'Freddy vs. Jason' gave us respect again, and we want to take advantage of it and go back to our own movies again. 'Freddy vs. Jason' doesn't need a sequel."

Jason Voorhees: "Yeah! Exactly!"

Freddy Krueger: " Oh, and what you said about 'Freddy vs Jason'...I suppose that 'Army of Darkness' is any better? That movie isn't horror in book. It's an action-comedy with only a little bits of horror sprinkled in. That movie is, truly, the joke you speak of."

Ash: "Oh, yeah?!"

-Ash whips out his shotgun.

Ash: "See this? This is my...boomstick!"

-Ash startles a group of movie-goers.

Ash: "It's a twelve gauge double-barreled Remington. S-Mart's top of the line. You can find this in the sporting goods department..."

-Two of the movie-goers, horror fans, recognize Ash.

Ash: "...That's right, this sweet baby was made in grand rapid Michigan. Retail is for about $195 dollars. It's got a walnut stock, coldwall blue steel and a hair trigger. That's right, shop smart. Shop S-Mart."

Freddy Krueger: "You are so full of it, you know that?"

-The two horror fans approach Ash.

Horror Fan #1: "Hey, it's Ash from the 'Evil Dead' movies!"

Horror Fan #2: "And, 'Army of Darkness'!"

-Ash takes his shotgun and shoots the two horror fans. The group of movie-goers flee from the lobby. Ash blows away the smoke coming out of the shotgun barrel.

Freddy Krueger: "Man, I can't believe you. You're own fans? You just gave us horror icons a bad name."

Jason Voorhees: "Yeah!"

-Ash turns to Freddy competitively.

Ash: "Oh, yeah?! Who wants some? Who's next? Huh?!"

-Ash turns to Jason.

Ash: "How about it? Who wants some? Huh?!"

-Ash turns back to Freddy and sneers at him.

Ash: "Who wants a little?!"

-Jason finally whips out his machete. Ash turns to Jason.

Ash: "You."

-Freddy turns to Jason.

Freddy Krueger: "Put the machete away. He's not worth our worth time."

-Freddy turns to Ash.

Freddy Krueger: "I know why you're so wired up. You're frustrated, because Sam Raimi won't make any more 'Evil Dead' movies. Or, another 'Army of Darkness.' You're just angry that Sammy has moved on from your franchise and is now directing the 'Spider-man' movies. You're angry, because Jason and I still have careers to attend to and you don't. I understand how you feel. I once felt your rage for nearly a decade before 'Freddy vs. Jason' came along. I understand. And, I'm sure Jason does too. But, don't take it out on us."

Ash: "You think you know how I feel? You think you understand me? You're not even close. You have no idea."

Freddy Krueger: "Maybe we don't. But whatever you do, leave Jason and I the hell out of it."

-Freddy turns to Jason.

Freddy Krueger: "Let's go the movie already. Michael will catch up."

-Jason shrugs and starts to walk away with Freddy.

Ash: "What about you, pussface?"

-Jason stops in his tracks.

Ash: "Yes, I meant you...retard!"

-Jason turns around and is about to whip out his machete. Freddy stops him again.

Freddy Krueger: "Ignore him. He's not worth it."

Ash: "Are you always going to be taking it from Freddy like that? Do you always obey what he says? Don't forget what he did to you. He manipulated you. He put you to sleep. He invaded your dreams. He found out your weakness. And, he tried to kill you. It hasn't even been a year yet, and you're already forgetting all that?"

-Jason turns to Freddy, then to Ash.

Ash: "Be your own man. Don't let Freddy tell you what to do. Fight your own battles. Fight me! Unlike that pussy next to you, grow some balls and use them."

-Jason turns back to Freddy, then back to Ash.

Ash: "Forget that pussy. Forget him like a piece of trash. Come over here to me...and let's take this outside. I know you want to. I know you want to swing that machete of yours. Go ahead. By all means. Don't let Freddy stop you."

-Jason turns to Freddy again, then once more back to Ash. He whips out his machete and starts walking towards Ash.

Freddy Krueger: "He's only pulling the same trick I pulled on you. He's trying to manipulate you."

-Jason stops in his tracks. He turns to Ash, then to Freddy.

Freddy Krueger: "What I did to you isn't any better than what Ash is doing right now. He's trying to rile you up."

-Jason turns to Ash again, then back to Freddy.

Freddy Krueger: "I've tried some nasty tricks on you before, but in the end, I've always been loyal. Remember when I saved you last year when your alcohol abuse almost killed you? I did the only thing I could. I entered your dreams and awoke your subconscience. I don't see someone like Ash ever doing you the same favor. He's just a loud mouth bragger. He doesn't care about anybody but himself. And of course, that S-Mart department store he works at."

-Jason turns to Ash again, and back to Freddy once more. Finally, he turns back to Freddy.

Ash: "Go, ahead. Be tricked by him once more. With Freddy, you're just a henchmen. By yourself, your a marvel of violence that's beautiful sight to look at. I want to be your next... victim."

-Jason turns to Freddy.

Jason Voorhees: "I understand what you're doing. But, why don't you want to fight him? Let's take care of him! We could finish him off together. I want to so badly!"

Freddy Krueger: "I know you do. So do I. However, I'd rather not. He's only frustrated with himself and doesn't mean any of this nonsense. He's bummed out that 'Freddy vs. Jason vs. Ash' isn't really happening. He is just trying to make himself feel better."

Jason Voorhees: "And, let's make him feel better already! Let's show him who's boss!"

Freddy Krueger: "Oh, I will. I have a plan."

-Freddy turns to Ash.

Freddy Krueger: "All right. You want a fight, you got one. Meet Jason and I behind the theater in fifteen minutes. We'll be there."

Jason Voorhees: "Huh?"

Ash: "Now, that's what I'm talking about!"

Freddy Krueger: "But, if you want you face the two of us, you'll need more than little `ol shotgun of yours."

Ash: "That's a boomstick to you!"

-Freddy points out Ash's artificial right hand.

Freddy Krueger: "What about your chainsaw? You did bring that to the sidelines, haven't you?"

Ash: "Of course! I always bring it with me. I left it in my Oldsmobile."

Freddy Krueger: "Good. Meet Jason and I behind the theater. There, you will have a battle you will never forget."

Jason Voorhees: "Yeah! Meet us in the back! I'll slaughter you all over the place!"

Ash: "All right! But, how do I know that you aren't just saying that? How do I know that you guys really are playing me out and making me go away?"

Freddy Krueger: "Just go to the back of the theater in fifteen minutes. You'll see."

Ash: "All right. I'll be there. You guys better be too."

Freddy Krueger: "Oh, we will."

Jason Voorhees: "Yeah!"

Ash: "Okay. I'll see you two pussies in fifteen minutes."

-Ash walks away.

Jason Voorhees: "All right! Now, we get to finish him off!"

Freddy Krueger: "No, we aren't."

Jason Voorhees: "What? But, you just said..."

Freddy Krueger: "Somebody will be back there to take on Ash, but it won't be us. We have a movie to attend to, and I don't expect to miss it."

Jason Voorhees: "I don't understand. You told him that we'd be back there to fight him. You're making me look like a pussy! I always back up my word!"

Freddy Krueger: "Don't worry about that. After tonight, Ash won't bother us anymore."

Jason Voorhees: "How?"

Freddy Krueger: "I have a plan."

-Freddy whips out his cell phone and calls a familiar friend.

Freddy Krueger: "Hey, Leatherface..."

-Moments later, Michael returns from the concession stand with his popcorn and drink.

Michael Myers: "Okay, lets' go."

-Freddy, Jason and Michael, head up to the usher. Michael stops when he spots a familiar face in the line waiting for the next showing of "Anchorman: The Legend of Ron Burgundy" - Kara Strode.

Michael Myers: "It can't be."

-That's when Michael gets a closer look and realizes that it is only actress, Marianne Hagan. Michael sighs of relief and of disappointment. Jason returns to Michael urging him to hurry.

Jason Voorhees: "Previews, Michael, previews!"

Michael Myers: "I know, I'm coming."

-Moments later, Freddy, Jason and Michael, enter the stadium-seating theater room where they will be watching "Stab 4." There are only a few random people in the theater, so it is not hard for them to pick seats.

Freddy Krueger: "Boy, this theater is sure crowded! I don't think we'll be able to find a seat!"
Jason Voorhees: "What are you talking about? There's plenty of..."

-Freddy shoves Jason.

Jason Voorhees: "Oh, uh, yeah! There's hardly any seats left to choose from! Up front, in the back..."

-Suddenly, Jason finds himself standing in the aisle alone. He looks over to see Freddy and Michael already sitting down in one of the back rows.

Freddy Krueger: "What do you think you're doing pussface? Sit down already."

Jason Voorhees: "Uh, yeah..."

-Jason sits next to Freddy and Michael.

-Up a few rows is Jerry Seinfeld and Kramer. Kramer is just going down the row to sit next to Jerry. Kramer is struggles to nudge through a fat woman That's when the hot cappuccino in his jacket spills over burns onto his shirt and pants.

Kramer: "Aaaaaaaaaah!"

-Jerry sighs at Kramer's antics. That's when a movie usher comes into the room and heads over to Kramer's row.

Usher: "Are you okay, sir?"

Kramer: "Um...aaah...I'm fine!"

-The usher notices Kramer's wet clothes. Then, cappuccino cup falls from his jacket.

Usher: "Is that a cappuccino?"

Kramer: "Uh...aaah...no! Not at all!"

Usher: "Yes it is. You tried to sneak in it in. Come with me."

Kramer: "No!"

Usher: "Yes."

Kramer: "No!"

Kramer: "Yes, you are sir. You aren't supposed to take outside food, or drinks, into this theater."

-The usher walks into the row and tugs at Kramer.

Usher: "Come on, sir."

Kramer: "No!"

-The usher tugs at Kramer more.

Usher: "Come on!"

-That's when the burning sensation gets to Kramer more.

Kramer: "Aaaaaaaaaah!"

-He jumps forward out aisle because of the sensation. The usher starts dragging Kramer out of the theater.

Kramer: "No! No! Let me go! Haven't I suffered enough?"

-The usher drags him out the door.

Kramer: "Nooo...!"

Jerry Seinfeld sighs over Kramer. That's when the lights darken and the commercials start. The audience boos.

 

CUT TO...a `73 Oldsmobile driving around the parking lot area behind the theater. A figure steps out of car...Ash! Ash looks around the area. Then, he goes over to his trunk and opens the trunk. He takes out his weapon of choice...a chainsaw! He takes his artificial hand off his right arm and places a brace over it. Then, attaches his chainsaw. He sets the attachements and runs the chainsaw (Rrrrr! Rrrrr!).

-That's when a Truck pulls around the other end of the lot. The Truck drives up and parks nearby. A figure steps out...Leatherface! Ash is surprised to see him.

Ash: "What? What is this?"

-Leatherface goes over to the rear of his truck and opens the tail gate. He picks up his weapon...his chainsaw! He looks over at Ash and runs his chainsaw (Rrrrr! Rrrrr!). Leatherface closes the tail gate. He steps ups a bit and faces Ash. Ash is dumbfounded.

Ash: "What are you doing here? Freddy and Jason are supposed be here. Did those pussies chicken out?"

-Leatherface steps up further.

Leatherface: "Some buddies of mine told me that an annoying character was hassling them. I told them that I'd come right over and rid of the problem."

Ash: "They did chicken out! Those pussies, I should have known!"

Leatherface: "They didn't chicken out of anything. You came to hassle them at the wrong place at the wrong time."

-Leatherface runs his chainsaw again (Rrrrr! Rrrrr!), and looks back at Ash.

Leatherface: "Yes, they you hassled at them at the wrong time indeed."

-That's when Leatherface suddenly starts charging at him. He runs his chainsaw several times while at it (Rrrrr! Rrrrr!). Ash doesn't know what to do. He wasn't prepared to battle Leatherface. Leatherface gets closer to him (Rrrrr! Rrrrr!).

Ash: "Freddy and Jason may be pussies..."

-Ash runs his chainsaw (Rrrrr! Rrrrr!)

Ash: "...But, I'm not!"

-Ash turns to the charging Leatherface (Rrrrr! Rrrrr!)

Ash: "Let's go!"

-Ash charges at the charging Leatherface. They both run their chainsaws (Rrrrr! Rrrrr!). They head into each other and battle. Leatherface swings his chainsaw at Ash, but Ash blocks the chainsaw with his own (Rrrrrrrrrrr!...). Ash runs his chainsaw back at Leatherface, and Leatherface blocks his chainsaw with his own (...Rrrrrrrrrr!...).

-That's when Leatherface swings his chainsaw the other way to attack Ash's chest (...Rrrrrrrrrr!). Ash sees his move coming and falls back to the ground to duck away (...Rrrrrrrrrr!...).

Ash: "Ha! Don't think I have no experience with the saw! Of all things I have to use this thing on my arm."

-Leatherface swings his chainsaw low to get Ash on the ground (...Rrrrrrrrrr!...). That's when Ash quickly clips Leatherface's leg with his chainsaw (...Rrrrrrrrrr!...). Leatherface falls back on the ground in pain (...Rrrrrrrrrr!...).

Leatherface: "Argh!"

-Ash gets up (...Rrrrrrrrrr!...).

Ash: "Ha! Got you now!"

-Ash swings his chainsaw low to attack Leatherface (...Rrrrrrrrrr!...). That's when Leatherface rolls over and Ash ends up sawing up the cement (...Rrrrrrrrrr!...). Leatherface gets up and picks up his chainsaw (...Rrrrrrrrrr!...). Limping his leg a bit, Leatherface charges at Ash with chainsaw (...Rrrrrrrrrr!...). Ash blocks it and attacks back (...Rrrrrrrrrr!...). Leatherface blocks it and attacks Ash back (...Rrrrrrrrrr!...).

-Ash and Leatherface continue blocking eachother's chainsaw attacks as if they were chainsaw fighting (...Rrrrrrrrrr!...). As they do, they are moving around closer and closer to the back wall of the movie theater.

CUT TO...the theater room playing the next showing of "Spider-man 2." The theater is crowded and absalutely packed. The audience is watching the beginning of the movie...when the back wall breaks up and the big screen starts tearing apart. Two guys with chainsaws broke through it! Leatherface and Ash are still chainsaw fighting (...Rrrrrrrrrr...!). As they do, they tear up more of the big screen (...Rrrrrrrrrr!...).

-People start fleeing away in terror heading for the exit (...Rrrrrrrrrr!...). As they do, some people get caught between the chainsaw action (...Rrrrrrrrrr!...). Bodies fall and bloods splatters all over (...Rrrrrrrrrr!...). Leatherface and Ash continue chainsaw fighting and starting heading up the steps of the stadium seating (...Rrrrrrrrrr!...). More fleeing people get caught between the chainsaw action (...Rrrrrrrrrr!...). Bodies fall and blood and guts splatter on the theater seats.

-Leatherface face each other intensely (...Rrrrrrrrrr!...).

Ash: "I'm going to win..."

-More fleeing people get caught between chainsaw action and blood splatters on Ash and Leatherface (...Rrrrrrrrrr!...).

Leatherface: "No, you're not!"

-Ash and Leatherface continue chainsaw fighting up the steps of the stadium seating (...Rrrrrrrrrr!...). Ash sneers at Leatherface (...Rrrrrrrrrr!...).

Ash: "...I'm going to win..."

-More fleeing people get caught in the chainsaw action and get butchered (...Rrrrrrrrrr!...). Bodies fall and blood splatters the theater seats (...Rrrrrrrrrr!...).

Leatherface: "No, you're not! Stop saying that!"

-Leatherface continues trying to swing his chainsaw at Ash (...Rrrrrrrrrr!...).

Ash: "...I'm going to win..."

-The few remaining fleeing people get caught in the chainsaw action (...Rrrrrrrrrr!...). Bodies fall and blood splatters on Ash and Leatherface (...Rrrrrrrrrr!...).

Leatherface: "That's it!"

-Leatherface swings his chainsaw another way and clips Ash at the side of body (...Rrrrrrrrrr...).

Ash: "Oww!"

-Upon getting clipped by Leatherface, Ash falls back down the several steps of the theater stadium seating (...Rrrrrrrrrr!...). He rolls down and falls chest first to the bottom (...Rrrrrrrrrr!...). Ash is motionless (...Rrrrrrrrrr!...). Leatherface stops his chainsaw (...Rrrrr...) and starts walking down to the bottom of the steps.

-That's when three policemen arrive to the scene and come around the corner at the bottom. The policemen look in horror at the bloody carnage in theater. They are disgusted Then, they turn to Leatherface.

Policeman #1: "Sto...Stop where you are and put your hands up!"

-Leatherface stops in his tracks and looks down at the policemen.

Policeman #2: "And, drop that chainsaw!"

-Leatherface looks at his chainsaw.

Policeman #1: "Drop that chainsaw! Now!"

-Leatherface looks at his chainsaw, then back to the policemen.

Policeman #1: "We'll tell you one more time..."

-Suddenly, Ash gets up and starts his chainsaw (Rrrrrrrrrr!...)

Ash: "Hey, guys! How you doin'?"

-That's when Ash swings his chainsaw at them and slaughters them (...Rrrrrrrrrr!...). Blood and guts splatters on Ash (...Rrrrrrrrrr!...). Ash looks up at Leatherface (...Rrrrrrrrrr!...).

Ash: "Now, where were we?"

-Leatherfaces starts his chainsaw (...Rrrrrrrrrr!...) and starts heading down the steps (...Rrrrrrrrrr!...). Ash starts back up the steps to attack Leatherface (...Rrrrrrrrrr!...). Ash and Leatherface head into each other...and Leatherface kicks Ash back down the steps (...Rrrrrrrrrr!...).

-Ash falls back, and rolls down the steps and falls on his back at the bottom (...Rrrrrrrrrr!...). Ash is motionless (...Rrrrrrrrrr!...). Leatherface stops his chainsaw (...Rrrrr...) and starts going down the steps of the stadium seating again.

-That's when Ash suddenly sits up and whips out his shotgun. He aims it at Leatherface and shoots. Leatherface quickly jumps behind a row of seats to take cover.

Ash: "Don't be pussy. Show yourself!"

-Ash starts up the steps and shoots at the row Leatherface jumped in. No response. He fires more bullets at the same spot. That's when Ash jumps up the row that Leatherface hiding behind...only to see nothing. That's when Leatherface jumps up from the row behind Ash and runs his chainsaw (Rrrrrrrrrr!...) and clips Ash's left side of his body again (...Rrrrrrrrrr!...).

Ash: "Oww!"

-Ash falls back into the next row (...Rrrrrrrrrr!...). Leatherface jumps into the next row of seats and swings his chainsaw low to attack Ash (...Rrrrrrrrrr!...). That's when Ash suddenly swings his chainsaw at him clipping his right arm (...Rrrrrrrrrr!...). Leatherface falls back into his row of seats (...Rrrrrrrrrr!...). His chainsaw, still running, clips his legs more.

Leatherface: "Argh!"

-Ash gets up and looks over at Leatherface (...Rrrrrrrrrr!...).

Ash: "You aren't so tough! You're pussy just like Freddy and Jason are! In my book, all you guys are pussies!"

-That's when Leatherface gets up and shoves him away (...Rrrrr...). Ash gets up surprised. That's when Leatherface charges at him again and rams him across the room. Ash and Leatherface end up crashing through the wall into the next theater room. It is the room where next showing of "Anchorman: The Legend of Ron Burgundy" is playing. The audience look in shock as the two figures with chainsaws break through the wall on the stage in front of big screen.

-The two figures get up and face eath other. Then, they start their chainsaws again (Rrrrrrrrrr!...). The audience freak out flee from the theater...

-...But, they aren't as scared as the audience attending the showing of 'Stab 4'. Freddy, Jason, Michael, Jerry Seinfeld and the rest of the audience, are scared shitless as they are viewing the first trailer being presented in front of them - the sequel to "Battlefield Earth"!

Trailer #1: Incoherent action is played as evil aliens, the race of Psychlos, and the few remaining earthlings, are in a massive battle over the remains of earth. Terl (John Travolta in thick, awful alien make-up) the evil Psychlo leader, fights off the human leader, Johnny Goodboy Tyler (Barry Pepper). The editing of the cutting action is so poorly done, you can't tell what's happening. You don't want to know what's happening on screen!

Freddy Krueger: "Oh...my..."

Trailer #1: Other psychlos and human are also flying around in spaceships shooting lazers beams at eachother in outer space near the Psychlo's home planet. The special effects are so bad, they are a poor man's "Star Wars."

-Jerry Seinfeld jots down notes.

Jerry Seinfeld: "Oh man, this will make great material for my act!"

-Michael covers his eyes for mercy.

Michael Myers: "The horror! The horror!"

Trailer #1: The trailer finally ends with a shot of Terl.

Terl: "I'll be back! I always come back! I'll get my revenge!"

Narrator: "'Battlefield Earth: Terl's Revenge'!"

Michael Myers: "Is it okay to look now?"

Freddy Krueger: "Yeah, it's safe."

-Michael uncovers his eyes. That's when one more clip of the trailer is shown.

Trailer #1: Terl and Johnny Goodboy Tyler fight each other.

Narrator: "Coming soon to a theater near you!"

-Michael looks away in terror.

Michael Myers: "Aaah!"

-Michael looks back up the black screen.

Michael Myers: "Whew."

Freddy Krueger: "Man, I hate bad previews."
Michael Myers: "I hate bad movies! Especially nasty ones like that."

Freddy Krueger: "You know what's worse? It's a revenge movie too. You know the movie is bad when the title has 'Joe Schmoe's Revenge' attached to it!"

Michael Myers: "Yeah, my revenge wasn't so sweet."

Freddy Krueger: "Mine wasn't great either."

Jason Voorhees: "Well, I don't know about you guys, but I think that movie looks pretty cool."

Freddy Krueger: "Are you kidding? 'Battlefield Earth 2'? I know you like dumb movies, Jason, but even you should be insulted by that preview."

Jason Voorhees: "Hey, I enjoyed the 'Battlefield Earth.' Don't ask me why, but I loved how over the top and cheesy it was! And, John Travolta was great in it!"

-The second trailer starts. Freddy, Jason and Michael brace themselves.

Trailer #2: Freddie Prince Jr. and Jennifer Love-Hewitt, the young couple from romantic spoof movie "Falling in Love," are talking to each other on their cell phones. Since the first movie, they have stayed together but are on a long-distance relationship since they attended different colleges.

Freddie Prince Jr.: "I love you."

Jennifer Love-Hewitt: "I love you too."

Freddy Krueger: "Didn't we see this preview before?"

Trailer #2: "Freddie Prince Jr. and Jennifer Love-Hewitt and hang up on each other. Freddie Prince Jr. lays back and sighs seeing his roommate and his girlfriend making out. He's so lonely without Jennifer Love-Hewitt. That's when Freddie Prince Jr. starts drinking out of his loneliness, gets drunk, has sex with his roommates girlfriend, tapes it, and accidentally mails the tape to Jennifer Love-Hewitt. He is also beat up by his roommate for sleeping with his girlfriend. Freddie Prince Jr. can't believe what he has done.

Freddie Prince Jr.: "Oh, no! Oh, crap!"

Trailer #2: Jennifer Love Hewitt receives the tape and is devastated. She calls Freddie Prince Jr. and has some words with him.

Jennifer Love-Hewitt: "I can't believe you!"

Freddie Prince Jr.: "I swear, it's not what you think!"

Jennifer Love-Hewitt: "What else is there to think?"
Freddie Prince Jr.: "That I love you."

Jennifer Love-Hewitt: "Well, I hate you!"

Trailer #2: Jennifer Love-Hewitt hangs up on Freddie Prince Jr. Freddy Prince Jr. sighs.

Freddy Krueger: "I don't understand. Didn't the first movie flop last year?"

Michael Myers: "Yes, but the teenybopper crowd still flocked to it."

Freddy Krueger: "They'll never learn."

Jason Voorhees: "Just like how teenagers will never learn to stop trespassing on Crystal Lake!"

Freddy Krueger: "Yeah!"

Trailer #2: Jennifer Love-Hewitt gets revenge on Freddie Prince Jr. She has an orgy with three guys at her college, tapes it, and mails the tape to Freddie Prince Jr. Freddie Prince Jr. is horrified.

Freddie Prince Jr.: "Oh my gosh!"

Trailer #2: There's a knock on Freddie Prince Jr.'s dorm room. He answers it and Jennifer Love-Hewitt's father, Henry Wrinkler, bursts in and beats Freddie Prince Jr. up.

Henry Wrinkler: "This is for breaking my daughter's heart you filthy bastard!"

-Everyone in the audience in cheers. Freddie Prince Jr. had it coming for being a bad actor.

Trailer #2: Freddie Prince Jr. confronts Jennifer Love-Hewitt at her college.

Freddie Prince Jr.: "I can't believe you!"

Jennifer Love-Hewitt: "I can't believe you!"

Freddie Prince Jr.: "I'm sorry."

Jennifer Love-Hewitt: "I'm not."

Trailer #2: Jennifer Love-Hewitt walks away.

Freddie Prince Jr.: "But..."

Jennifer Love-Hewitt: "Leave me alone!"

Trailer #2: Freddie Prince Jr. sighs.

Michael Myers: "This does not look any better than first movie. They're both pretty bad."

Trailer #2: Freddie Prince Jr. mails Jennifer Love-Hewitt a tape of him telling her how much he loves her. Jennifer Love-Hewitt mails Freddie Prince Jr. a tape of her telling him how much she hates him. Henry Wrinkler mails Freddie Prince Jr. a tape telling him how much he'll kill him if he keeps mailing tapes to his daughter.

Trailer #2: Freddie Prince Jr. confronts Jennifer Love-Hewitt once more at her college.

Jennifer Love-Hewitt: "Leave me alone."

Freddie Prince Jr.: "I can't."

Jennifer Love-Hewitt: "Leave me alone. I can't stand you."

Freddie Prince Jr.: "I can't leave you alone. I love you too much."

Jennifer Love-Hewitt: "But, I don't love you."

Trailer #2: Freddie Prince Jr. kisses Jennifer Love-Hewitt.

Jennifer: "I...I..."

Freddie Prince Jr.: "Sure, I made a mistake. But, so did you. We both messed up. I can't stand to be away from you."

Jennifer Love-Hewitt: "Oh, I love you too!"

Trailer #2: Jennifer Love-Hewitt kisses Freddie Prince Jr. The screen fades to black. Then, the title, "Falling in Love . . . All Over Again" appears on screen.

Freddy Krueger: "Well, they have completely spoiled the movie again."

Michael Myers: "And, the movie is even more cliched."

-Jason is asleep from the preview. Freddy wakes him up. The third trailer starts.

Trailer #3: Bill Paxton and Helen Hunt, the survivors from "Twister," are in their apartment in Los Angelos snuggling up to each other in bed.

Helen Hunt: "I'm so glad that we're away from those damn twisters."

Bill Paxton: "Yeah."

Trailer #3: Suddenly their roof blows off and everything in their bedroom flies around all over the place. It was a twister!

Freddy Krueger: "Are you kidding me? 'Twister' was cool, but come on."

Michael Myers: "What is it with so many sequels? There's...

-Michael gulps.

Michael Myers: "...'Battlefield Earth 2'..."

Jason Voorhees: "You mean, 'Battlefield Earth: Terl's Revenge'!"

Michael Myers: "Whatever! And, there's 'Falling in Love...'

-Michael gulps again.

Michael Myers: "'...All Over Again.' And, there's 'Twister 2.' What's next? 'Baby Geniuses 2'?"

Jason Voorhees: "Actually..."

Michael Myers: "Don't tell me. I don't want to know!"

Trailer #3: Bill Paxton and Helen Hunt barely escape from Los Angelos with a handful of survivors. They watch as seven twisters form into one nasty one. The massive twister destroys the remains of Los Angelos before their eyes.

Helen Hunt: "I can't believe this!"

Bill Paxton: "Believe it!"

Helen Hunt: "I can't believe this!"

Bill Paxton: "Face it, there is a new twister on our hands and we have to stop it. Let's go, we have find our equipment and save rest of the world from certain destruction."

Helen Hunt: "I can't believe this!"

Bill Paxton: "Oh, come on already!"

Trailer #3: Bill Paxton and Helen Hunt drive to New York by truck. As they do, the twister catches up to them and wrecks havoc around them. They dodge cars being whipped at them, and even have to dodge cows and other farm animals.

Bill Paxton: "Hey look, there's a cow!"

Freddy Krueger: "This is so cheesy!"

Jason Voorhees: "This is so awesome!"

Trailer #3: New York is destroyed as the massive twister joins three others ones becoming a monster twister. Bill Paxton and Helen Hunt barely escape the remains of Manhattan with a few more survivors.

Helen Hunt: "What are we going to do? Our equipment is completely destroyed!"

Bill Paxton: "We have to go back."

Helen Hunt: "Where?"

Bill Paxton: "Back to where it all this started. Oklahoma."

Trailer #3: The monster twister follows Bill Paxton and Helen Hunt on their journey to Oklahoma. More major cities are destroyed and Bill Paxton and Helen Hunt dodge more cars and cows.

Bill Paxton: "Hey, there's that cow again!"

Trailer #3: Bill Paxton and Helen Hunt make it to Oklahoma and get their spare equipment. They also find themselves trapped in they eye of the monster twister.

Helen Hunt: "We're trapped in the eye of the storm!"

Bill Paxton: "Beware the wrath!"

Trailer #3: The screen fades to black and the title, "Twister 2: Wrath of The Eye" appears on the screen.

Freddy Krueger: "Oh my gosh!"

Jason Voorhees: "I know!"

Freddy Krueger: "So mediocre and cheesy!"

Jason Voorhees: "What are you talking about? That looks so awesome! I can't wait to see it!"

-The lights in the theater darken and "Stab 4" begins. Later on, the movie ends and the audience boos. Everyone walks out theater dumbfounded by the movie. Jerry Seinfeld comes out with several pages of new material for his act. Freddy, Jason and Michael, come out the theater room next.

Freddy Krueger: "I can't believe that the Gale Weathers knockoff was the killer!"

-A guy waiting to see the next showing of "Stab 4" overhears Freddy.

Guy: "Thanks a lot!"

-The guy leaves the theater in a huff. Freddy, Jason and Michael, shrug.

Michael Myers: "And, I thought the killer was going to be the Dewey knockoff."

Freddy Krueger: "I was still kind of right. For most of the movie, we're supposed to believe that Tori Spelling could not possibly be the killer. Then, comes that twist at the ending making her out to be the killer."

Michael Myers: "And, she's sent away to that mental hospital."

Freddy Krueger: "Right. And then, the comes the extra twist showing that the Gale Weathers knock-off was really the killer the whole time."

Michael Myers: "And, that she just confused Tori Spelling and set her up."

Freddy Krueger: "Yeah, exactly! It was stupid!"

Michael Myers: "Yes, the movie blew."

Jason Voorhees: "I liked it!"

Freddy Krueger: "Oh, you'll like anything!"

Jason Voorhees: "No, I know that the story was weak. But I thought the gore and murders were fantastic! The MPAA are still going easy on horror movies since last year."

Michael Myers: "The kills were pretty good, but they weren't enough support the whole movie. Roman Bridger simply ran with the story too far. He should have left the series alone after 'Stab 3'."

Freddy Krueger: "Agreed."

-That's when Freddy, Jason and Michael, notice blood stains all over the hallway and torn down wall leading to the outside

Michael Myers: "What the heck happened here?"

Freddy Krueger: "I don't know."

-A theater worker passes by. Freddy turns to him.
Freddy Krueger: "Hey, what happened here in the hallway?"

Theater Worker: "Two guys with chainsaws were fighting. Behind the theater, in two of the theaters..."

-Freddy and Jason turn to each other.

Theater Worker: "...Then, they escaped out the back. A lot of people were gruesomely killed."

Michael Myers: "And, the theater manager didn't close the theater for the crime scene and investigation?"

Theater Worker: "When box-office hits like 'Spider-man 2' and 'Anchorman' can make a lot us money? Of course not!"

-The theater worker walks away.

Michael Myers: "I can't believe this."

Freddy Krueger: "Oh, uh, yeah, neither can I."

Jason Voorhees: "I don't know anything either!"

-Michael turns to Freddy and Jason suspiciously. That's when they hear people scream in a nearby theater. More screaming can be heard.

Michael Myers: "What the..."

-Freddy, Jason and Michael, go over to the theater room and peak in. It was Jason's copycat! Whoever it was, he/she was slaughtering most of the audience attending the current showing of "King Arthur." He/she was swinging that machete around like crazy. A few surviving audience members manage to flee from the theater. Michael turns to Jason.

Michael Myers: "Here's your chance."

-Jason's copycat finishes slaughtering remaining audience members and heads out of the theater room. That's when Jason grabs the copycat and shoves him/her. Jason looks at the copycat. He/she was dressed just like him. Hockey mask, grungy clothes and all.

Jason Voorhees: "All right. Whoever you are..."

-Jason's copycat responds back.

Copycat: "Hey, Dad!"

-Jason is dumbfounded. He lets the copycat go and walks back.

Jason Voorhees: "What?"

-The copycat killer takes off hockey mask to reveal the messed up face of...Jason's son, Todd! Just last year, Jason had found out about the twenty year old son he never knew about. Upon chasing Chrissy around in "Friday The 13th Part III" in 1982, Chrissy fainted. That was when Jason finally developed a conscience and tried to see what the fuss was with counselors and vacationers always sleeping around.

-Jason tried to meet Todd when Tiffany was taken to the hospital for labor over Chucky's "seed." When Todd found out he was Jason's son, he freaked out and was killed in a series of accidents. Now seeing him alive, Jason is dumbfounded.

Jason Voorhees: "This can't be happening. This...this can't be real."

Todd: "Oh, I'm real. I'm back from the dead...just like you!"

Jason Voorhees: "But...but, how?"

Todd: "I was killed last year upon initially meeting you. I wasn't ready to face the truth. Then, I was awaken somehow a few months ago at some lab. Some scientists were studying me, trying to find out how I was able to withstand the serious injuries I took before. They put my body in a scanning machine to test me. And, I guess there was a storm going on, because my body was electricuted back to life by lightning. I came back!"

Jason Voorhees: "And?"

Todd: "And, oh yeah, I broke out of the scanning machine and killed the scientists."

-Jason hugs Todd.

Jason Voorhees: "Son!"

Todd: "Dad!"

-Freddy and Michael watch Jason and Todd in their emotional moment.

Michael Myers: "So, you've been the Jason copycat attacking all over town?"

Todd: "Yeah."

-Todd turns to Jason.

Todd: "I didn't know how to find you. I tried to get your attention."

Jason Voorhees: "You sure did!"

-Jason hugs Todd again.

Freddy Krueger: "Wow. Two Jasons. Two Crystal Lake killers. You'll guys make a great team!"

Jason Voorhees "Oh, yeah! I got to take you out on my massacres from now on. I have so many tricks to teach you!"

Todd: "Why don't we go on massacre right now?"

Jason Voorhees: "I thought you'd never ask! Let's go in one of these theater rooms and I'll teach you there."

Todd: "Okay!"

-Jason turns to Freddy and Michael.

Jason Voorhees: "If you guys don't mind, I'd like to..."

Michael Myers: "Go ahead. Have fun."

Freddy Krueger: "Yeah. Enjoy yourselves."

Jason Voorhees: "Thanks!"

-Jason and Todd wonder off into a nearby theater room. Freddy and Michael leave as movies-goers scream and flee for their lives.

THE END