Episode Seventeen

One Day at Michael's Pad

-At the studio of Dimension Films, Moustapha Akkad, Akkad's representative, and the Dimension executives gather for a board meeting.

Moustapha Akkad: "Okay gentleman, down to business. There's been a couple of rumors lately concerning the 'Halloween' franchise, and I'd like to address them. First, 'Halloween', the remake. What are your proposals?"

-One executive raises his hand to respond.

Moustapha Akkad: "Yes?"

Executive #1: "Well, the remake of 'The Texas Chainsaw Massacre' did very well last month. It made a considerable amount of money for New Line Cinema and was even appreciated by many horror fans."

Moustapha Akkad: "Very good. Anything else?"

-Two other executives raise their hands.

Executive #2: "There are a number of remakes to horror films in the making right now, including one to 'Dawn of The Dead,' George Romero's classic zombie film from 1979."

Executive #3: "And, we can't forget about the success that was 'The Ring'. Last year, it made more than a bundle of money. And, it was PG-13 as well."

Moustapha Akkad: "Yes, all very good points. But...is it really necessary to remake 'Halloween'? Do we need to re-do the classic film that helped majorly relaunch the horror genre through the 1980's? Would the fans want it?"

-Akkad turns to all the executives and to his representative, Robert.

Moustapha Akkad: "Any objections?"

-None of the executives respond. For, they all sit back and think of money as bubbles with the $ symbol float above their heads. Robert, however, raises his hand to respond. But, Akkad ignores him.

Moustapha Akkad: "Anyone?"

-Robert waves his hands around in desperation, but Akkad ignores him.

Moustapha Akkad: "Well, I guess we're all happy about a remake..."

-Robert sighs.

Moustapha Akkad: "...But, we should consider other possibilities too. Another rumor spawned after the recent versus spinoff, 'Freddy vs. Jason.' The proposition: a versus movie between Michael Myers and Pinhead."

Executive #4: "Hey, we own both those franchises!"

Moustapha Akkad: "Yes, but be sure to raise your hand next time!"

Executive #4: "Yes, Mr. Akkad. Sorry!"

-Akkad turns to the executives and his representative.

Moustapha Akkad: "Okay, so 'Michael vs. Pinhead.' What are your proposals?"

-One executive raises his hand.

Moustapha Akkad: "Yes?"

Executive #1: "First, there should be an alternate title. It would be reduntant to have another versus movie going by 'So-and-so versus So-and-so'."

-Another executive raises his hand.

Executive #3: "Yeah, it should go something like 'Helloween' or something."

Moustapha Akkad: "'Helloween'? That's good! What else?"

-Another executive raises his hand.

Executive #2: "It won't be the first movie to follow in the tracks of 'Freddy vs. Jason'. 'Alien vs. Predator' is also in the works as we speak."

Moustapha Akkad: "Really? Now, that's a good sign. Now, I must ask this: would it be a good idea to do 'Helloween'? Would horror fans want it?"

-An executive raises his hand.

Moustapha Akkad: "Yes?"

Executive #3: "Horror fans are very much familiar with Michael Myers and Pinhead. Obviously, Michael is doing well, because he currently has up to eight films in his series. Pinhead's 'Hellraiser' movies, while currently straight-to-video, have sold well. Otherwise, we wouldn't have two other sequels, 'Deadworld' and 'Deader', both back-to-back, in the works."

Moustapha Akkad: "Yes, that's right. Anything else? Any objections?"

-All the executives sit back and think of money. Again, bubbles with the $ symbol float above their heads. Robert raises his hand to respond, but Akkad ignores him again.

Moustapha Akad: "Anyone?"

-Robert desperately waves his hands around trying to get Akkad's attention. Akkad continues to ignore him.

Moustapha Akkad: "It appears that we are all on the same page, so I'll conclude this meeting."

-Robert sighs in desperation and stands up.

Robert: "Mr. Akkad, I've listened to the ideas for a 'Halloween' remake and versus film, and frankly, they stink!"

-Robert sits back down, almost as if he's ready to be pounced by Akkad. Akkad, however, turns to him as if he's actually interested in what he has to say.

Moustapha Akkad: "Oh, so you have some ideas of your own? I would have went over them, but you never raised your hand."

-Robert sighs at Akkad's ignorance, then turns to him.

Robert: "Why yes, I do have another proposition. Instead of remaking 'Halloween' or pitting Michael Myers against Pinhead, I think it would be wiser to follow up the franchise with another sequel."

-Robert turns to Akkad. Akkad looks to Robert as if he's actually interested in what he has to say. Robert continues.

Robert: "Anyway, it wouldn't be a regular sequel. It wouldn't ignore the H4 through H6 storyline concerning Laurie's daughter, Jamie Lloyd. It would appropriately reference that storyline, as that's what the fans want. The fans have felt cheated by the belated sequels that are 'H20' and 'Resurrection'."

-Robert turns to Akkad again. Akkad continues to look to Robert as if he's interested. Robert continues.

Robert: "In fact, it would be appropriate to bring back Tommy Doyle from the H4-H6 storyline as well as Laurie's son, John Tate from 'Halloween: H20.' They both are remaining loose ends in this series and we could tie up the storyholes through them."

-Robert turns to Akkad. Akkad continues to appear interested.

Robert: "That's it."

-Akkad turns to Robert, then to the executives.

Moustapha Akkad: "He's right."

-Robert sighs of relief.

Moustapha Akkad: "A 'Halloween' remake and versus spinoff might both be too good as ideas to continue the 'Halloween' legacy."

-Robert looks in surprise.

Moustapha Akkad: "Instead, we should do another belated sequel."

-Robert turns to Akkad.

Robert: "Sir, I think you just misintrepitated everything I just said!"

Moustapha Akkad: "No, Robert. You're right. We should put on the 'Halloween' series on a fresh start again."

-Robert sighs, for Akkad is still ignoring everything he's saying.

Moustapha Akkad: "Yes, 'Halloween 8'. That's a good move."

Executive #4: "Actually Mr. Akkad, this would be 'Halloween 9'. 'Halloween: Resurrection' was 'Halloween 8'."

Moustapha Akkad: "I told you before. Raise your hand before you speak!"

Executive #4: "Yes, sorry Mr. Akkad!"

Moustapha Akkad: "So, how shall we approach this ninth 'Halloween' film? Any proposals?"

-An executive raises his hand to respond.

Moustapha Akkad: "Yes?"

Executive #1: "We could bring back Bianca Kajlich. She was the surviving heroine from the last 'Halloween' film."

Moustapha Akkad: "Yes, that's right. Anything else?"

-Another executive raises his hand.

Executive #2: "We could bring back Busta Rhymes. He was enthusiastic about 'Resurrection' and possibly appearing in another follow-up."

Moustapha Akkad: "Good thinking. Putting in rappers and celebrities always opens up the audience demographic."

-Another executive raises his hand.

Executive #3: "Busta Rhymes might not be available to play in another follow-up. He's booked on several projects right now."

Moustapha Akkad: "Oh, then we might a replacement. Any suggestions?"

-An executive raises his hand.

Executive #2: "I've heard that rapper Ja Rule is interested in furthering his acting career."

Moustapha Akkad: "Oh, really? Does he have any experience?"

Exectuve #2: "He co-starred with Steven Seagal in the action film, 'Half Past Dead' last year. He also is cast in the current spoof, 'Scary Movie 3.' Oh, and he also got acting lessons at Oakland Academy, same as Busta Rhymes."

Moustapha Akkad: "That's excellent! Call his agent immediately!"

-Robert sighs.

Executive #2: "Will do, sir."

Moustapha Akkad: "Well, it looks like we have it set. A remake, versus spinoff, and another sequel to 'Halloween'. We better start production on all of these immediately. Meeting con..."

Robert: "I don't think so, Mr. Akkad!"

Moustapha Akkad: "Oh, really?"

Robert: "Yes. You hired me to be your representative and approve of all your decisions within Dimension, and you aren't letting me do my job."

-Moustapha Akkad turns to Robert in disappointment.

Robert: "All you've done is ignore me and come up with the worst ideas possible for the 'Halloween' franchise. All you're doing is ruining your own movies!"

-Robert looks in surprise to see Akkad not sitting in his seat at the end of the table. The executives all turn to Robert, for Akkad is standing behind him. Robert finally looks around to see Akkad behind him and holding a bat.

Moustapha Akkad: "Actually Robert, YOU are trying to ruin my series. YOU are out to ruin the franchise I've worked on and sweat over all these years. I'm sorry, but I'm not going to let you do that!"

-Akkad whacks Robert with the bat (Whack!). Akkad continues to whack Robert with the bat several more times (Whack! Whack! Whack! Whack!). Finally, he stops. Robert lays over the table motionless. Akkad heads back to his chair at the end of the table to sit down. He sits down and turns to the executives.

Moustapha Akkad: "Anyway...any objections to a remake, versus spinoff, and sequel to 'Halloween'?"

-Akkad turns to the executives. They all are sitting back thinking of money, as bubbles with the $ symbol float above their heads. Akkad turns to Robert, for he lays over the table dead and with blood leaking around him.

Moustapha Akkad: "Alright then. Meeting concluded."

-Akkad and the executives all sit back in their chairs and laugh in devious fashion.

Moustapha Akkad and executives: "Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, heh!"

-Akkad and the executives continue to laugh in devious fashions.

Moustapha Akkad and executives: "Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, heh!"

-Akkad and the executives deviously laugh their hearts out.

Moustapha Akkad and executives: "Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, heh!"

-Suddenly, Michael Myers crashes into the room. He breaks through the door, leaving his body imprint. Akkad and the executives look in surprise. Michael whips out his bloody knife and tilts his head, staring all of them down. Akkad and the executives look in shock. Finally, Michael starts charging towards them, Myers-style. Akkad and the executives look in fright and start to flee.

-Michael grabs one of the executives, shoves his back to the table, and grutatiusly stabs him to death. Akkad and the executives look in shock as blood drips down the executives pants. Michael leaves the body and grabs two executives trying to get to the door. He grabs them, wraps his arms around their necks, and cracks them (Craaack...!). Michael drops the bodies and charges for Akkad and the last executive.

-Akkad climbs onto the table and tries walking across it. Michael manages to reach over the table, grab Akkad's leg and push him to the other side of the room. Akkad flies against the wall and falls to the floor. The last executive tries to run around Michael, but Michael spots him and grabs him. Michael grasps the executive and lifting him and shoving him against the wall. With the bloody knife, Michael starts stabbing away at the executive. Akkad looks in shock at the blood gurgling from the executives mouth. Finally, Michael stabs him once more. The executive's feet to flail. Michael leaves the knife in place to hold the executive against the wall.

-Michael turns around to face Akkad. With one hand, he grabs the bat Akkad used to kill Robert with. With his other hand, Michael aggressively turns over the table across the room, knocking away the tables and the bodies of Robert and the other executive. Michael walks toward Moustapha Akkad. Akkad lays up against the wall in fright.

Moustaph Akkad: "I'm sorry! I was kidding! We were all kidding! Whatever you want done with your series, I'll do. Just tell me."

-But, it's too late for that. Michael tilts his head, staring Akkad down with his dead-like eyes.

Moustapha Akkad: "Micheal?"

-Finally, Michael charges for Michael with the bat in hand, ready to teach him a lesson, Myers-style!

Moustapha Akkad: "Nooo...!"

-Suddenly, Michael is awakened in bed in his pad by his annoying alarm clock (Ring! Ring! Ring! Ring Ring!...). Michael sighs of relief, for what that was all a dream (...Ring! Ring! Ring! Ring! Ring!...). Moustapha Akkad really wasn't doing a 'Halloween' remake and versus spinoff (...Ring! Ring! Ring! Ring! Ring!...). He didn't even have 'Halloween 9' ready yet (...Ring! Ring! Ring! Ring! Ring!...).

-The alarm clock continues to annoy Michael (...Ring! Ring! Ring! Ring! Ring!...). Michael struggles to reach over to his night stand and stop the alarm (...Ring! Ring! Ring! Ring! Ring!...). He grabs what he thinks his the alarm clock, but really grabs a handful of bloody knives (...Ring! Ring! Ring! Ring! Ring!...). Michael turns his hand into a fist and starts stomping it all around his night stand (...Ring! Ring! Ring! Ring! Ring!...). He ends up crushing his gold watch (...Ring! Ring! Ring! Ring! Ring!...). Finally, he stomps the alarm clock with his fist and crushes it to pieces (...Ri...).

-Michael gets out of bed and heads to his closet. He opens it revealing his several pairs of blue overalls and eight white-sprayed William Shatner masks on the top shelf. All of the overalls have blood stains on them, for Micheal was not able to get them out through the wash. His mask collection contains a smooth mask, a lesser smooth mask, a smoother mask, an ugly mask, a weird mask, a super smooth mask, a smooth yet wrinkly mask, and super smooth mask with blonde hair. Michael grabs the smoother mask and proceeds to change.

-Later that morning, Michael is preparing breakfast. While making scrabled eggs, he watches the news.

News (a newswoman reports): "Ever since the Halloween night massacre last week, it has been"

Michael Myers: "That was hardly a massacre. It wasn't even me!"

News: "...it has been concluded that person responsible wasn't the infamous Michael Myers, but his nephew, John Tate..."

-The news shows recent photo of John. For, John looks tired and restless. He must have been, since he striked back Michael again for revenge that fateful Halloween.

Michael Myers: "What?"

News: "Haddonfield's Chief of Police, Virgil Sumter, believes John Tate went crazy after Michael Myers once tried to kill him and after Myers killed his mother, Laurie Strode, last year..."

-The Chief of Police is interviewed.

Chief of Police: "I firmly believe that John Tate is responsible for this awful massacre this Halloween. He killed a poor little kid, an escaped lunatic from Crystal Lake, and proceeded to take his own life."

Michael Myers: "He's right about one thing. John went crazy and killed that kid. He did that to get my attention. But, he did not kill Chrissy and kill himself. That's bogus. It's probably for the better, though."

News: "FBI agent, Donald Loomis, son of Dr. Sam Loomis who tracked down Michael Myers over the years, thinks otherwise."

-Donald is interviewed. Michael looks in surprise.

Donald Loomis: "John may have possibly killed that kid, but it was only for Michael's attention. I believe he tried to take out Micheal and failed. Michael returned to Haddonfield to strike fear in Haddonfield and try to finally kill off his nephew. And, he did. Why that loony from Crystal Lake was here, I don't know. If anything, she was just collateral damage in the war between John and Michael. I'm going to continue tracking down Michael even if it leads to the ends of the earth. He's responsible for my father's demise, as well as many others, and I'm not going to let him get away."

Michael Myers: "What the..."

News: "Although Loomis insists on tracking down Myers, the FBI are not currently on the case. They still have matters with families of the victims. That's all for now from KRGR News."

-Michael's scrambled eggs are now ready. He picks the eggs with the fork and proceeds to eat, but the scrambles against his mask. For, he forgot to take off his mask. Michael shrugs and proceeds to take off his mask.

-Meanwhile, down in the underground parking lot several floors down, Jason parks his BMW X5 SUV and he and Freddy head for the entrance area.

Jason Voorhees: "...I'm telling you Fred, you should have went to the party. It was a blast!"

Freddy Krueger: "I'm surprised you're still partying hard after 'Freddy vs. Jason'. It was eleven weeks ago."

Jason Voorhees: "What, so I'm not allowed to have more fun? I'm way past my prime. I want to take advantage of all of this."

Freddy Krueger: "You still act like you are in your prime. You have for the last 20 years!"

-Freddy and Jason enter the elevator in the entrance area.

Jason Voorhees: "Whatever, man. I just want to enjoy myself."

Freddy Krueger: "That's fine. But, you shouldn't drink so much. I can smell it in your breath right now. Did you throw up this morning, or something?"

Jason Voorhees: "Of course. For 40 minutes straight. It's becoming a morning ritual."

Freddy Krueger: "Jason, that's not a good sign. You should slow down while you can."

Jason Voorhees: "Hey, I'm Jason Fuckin' Voorhees! Nothing can kill me!"

Freddy Krueger: "What are you talking about? You've been killed a dozen times. You die at the end of every 'Friday' film and come back to life in the following entry. If Crsytal Lake teens can kill you - and stupidly bring you back to life - then, I think alcoholism could kill you too."

Jason Voorhees: "I don't think so. I could be brought back to life again. I always do!"

Freddy Krueger: "I don't think its the same thing with alcohol."

Jason Voorhees: "We'll see."

-The elevator stops and the doors slide open. A man walks in, suspiciously looks at Freddy and Jason, and proceeds to press the button of his intended floor. The doors slide shut and the elevator starts going back up. Jason snickers.

Jason Voorhees: "Uh, uh, uh, chi, chi, chi! Uh, uh, uh, chi, chi, chi!"

-The man shakens and tries to stand his ground. Freddy joins in with monstrous laughs.

Jason Voorhees: "Uh, uh, uh, chi, chi, chi! Uh, uh, uh, chi, chi, chi!"

Freddy Krueger: "Mwa, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha! Mwa, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha!"

-The man, starting to freak out, presses a button to an earlier floor.

Jason Voorhees: "Uh, uh, uh, chi, chi, chi! Uh, uh, uh, chi, chi, chi!"

Freddy Krueger: "Mwa, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha! Mwa, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha!"

-The man, freaking out more, presses more buttons to earliers floors.

Jason Voorhees: "Uh, uh, uh, chi, chi, chi! Uh, uh, uh, chi, chi, chi!"

Freddy Krueger: "Mwa, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha! Mwa, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha!"

-The man, getting desperate, presses more buttons to earliers floors. Finally, the elevator stops and the doors slide open. The man flees down a hallway and Freddy and Jason laugh. The elevator starts back up. Finally, the elevator makes it to Michael's floor and Freddy and Jason head for Michael's apartment. They pass Mrs. Randall's room, and Jason stops. Freddy stops after Jason.

Jason Voorhees: "Hey, usually doesn't that old woman come out of her apartment right about now?"

Freddy Krueger: "Yeah, and you scare her! Let's just get on to Michael's apartment. Enough with that nonsense."

Jason Voorhees: "No, wait a moment."

-Freddy sighs and waits a moment with Jason. Lo and behold, the door creaks open and Mrs. Randall peaks out. She's about to step out to the hallway, when Jason comes out of nowhere and scares her.

Jason Voorhees: "Boo!"

Mrs. Randall: "Augh..."

-Mrs. Randall scares back into her apartment. Jason laughs. Freddy notices that Mrs. Randall doesn't close her door.

Freddy Krueger: "Hey, normally wouldn't she...close the door behind her after you scare her?"

Jason Voorhees: "Yeah..."

-Freddy and Jason walk up to the open door and slowly opens it further...to reveal Mrs. Randall laying on the floor motionless in her apartment.

Freddy Krueger: "Jason, what did you do?!"

Jason Voorhees: "I guess I...scared her to death!"

Freddy Krueger: "We better get back to Michael's apartment right now! If we're caught doing this, Michael will be kicked out of this apartment building."

-Freddy quietly closes Mrs. Randall's door and he and Jason walk to the Michael's apartment. Freddy knocks on his door, then turns to Jason.

Freddy Krueger: "Whatever you do, don't tell Michael this. He'll be furious!"

-Michael opens the door to his pad. He is has his mask back, for he just finished breakfast.

Michael Myers: "Hey guys! Come in."

-Freddy and Jason walk into Michael's pad and Michael closes the front door.

Michael Myers: "You'll never believe what I heard on the news. The police over in Haddonfield think that John Tate is responsible for the murder spree last week on Halloween."

Freddy Krueger: "Man, those guys must be dimwits!"

Michael Myers: "Yeah. But, if I don't know better, they probably just said that to cover up that I, the boogeyman, returned to Haddonfield. It must be so that people won't be afraid to live and visit Haddonfield."

Jason Voorhees: "Figures. Just like 1986 when I first came back as a zombie. They changed it's name from Crystal Lake to Forest Green to give a better impression. Like that helped!"

Michael Myers: "But, there's more to it than that. I may have a new nemesis."

Freddy Krueger: "Already? Who?"

Michael Myers: "Donald Loomis."

Freddy Krueger: "Same as..."

Michael Myers: "Yep, same Dr. Loomis. Donald's the son. He's an FBI agent now. He thinks I was responsible for the massacre and that John tried to finish me off."

Freddy Krueger: "He's half right on that. At least we're keeping a low profiles here in New York.

Jason Voorhees: "That's why I recommeded living here. No matter what, nobody suspects us. That's how ignorant New Yorkers are!"

Michael Myers: "That's right. Back in 1989, you chased some teens around here in the streets and subway, and nobody cared to help them!"

Jason Voorhees: "That's right. New York is great in that way."

-Suddenly, there's a knock at the front door. Micheal goes to answer it. He opens the door to reveal his gay neighbor, Mark Patton from "A Nightmare on Elm Street 2: Freddy's Revenge."

Mark Patton: "Hey Michael, can I borrow some salt and pepper?"

-Freddy and Jason cut in bother Mark.

Freddy Krueger: "Hey there, Marky Mark, what's up?!"

Jason Voorhees: "Yeah, we've missed your company!"

Mark Patton: "Uh, nothing much."

-Mark turns back to Michael.

Mark Patton: "So yeah, can I..."

Michael Myers: "Actually, I'm out right now. You might want to ask Mrs. Randall though."

-Freddy and Jason turn to eachother.

Mark Patton: "Okay, thanks anyway."

-Michael closes the door and turns back to Freddy and Jason, who both act suspicious.

Michael Myers: "What?"

Freddy Krueger: "Oh, nothing!"

Jason Voorhees: "Yeah, nothing!"

Michael Myers: "Okay..."

-Michael goes back to the kitchen to finish washing his collection of bloody knives.

Michael Myers: "You guys want anything to eat?"

Freddy Krueger: "No thanks, we just had McDonald's on the way."

Jason Voorhees: "I'll have Budweiser!"

Michael Myers: "I don't think so, Jason. Not this early in the day. You drink enough as it is."

Jason Voorhees: "But..."

Michael Myers: "In fact, that's my new rule for you underneath the roof of my pad. No drinking until the evening."

Jason Voorhees: "That's not fair!"

Michael Myers: "I think it is. You drink enough as it is, and I wouldn't want something to happen to you."

Jason Voorhees: "But, nothing is going to happen!"

Freddy Krueger: "Does that joyride several weeks ago mean anything to you?"

Jason Voorhees: "What joyride?"

Michael Myers: "Exactly. That's how drunk you have become. You don't even remember your own massacrs anymore. You caused the worst car pile-up and accident and massacre in the city of New York. And, you don't even remember it!

-Freddy and Micheal laugh at Jason. Jason sighs.

Jason Voorhees: "I wish I could remember that."
-Suddenly, there's another knock at the door. Michael goes to answer it. He opens up the door to reveal...Mark Patton again.

Mark Patton: "Hey guys, Mrs. Randall is dead!"

Michael Myers: "What?!"

Mark Patton: "Mrs. Randall is dead. There's no pulse or anything. I think she had a heart attack."

-Freddy and Jason cut in.

Freddy Krueger: "Well, she did have that coming."

Jason Voorhees: "Yeah, she was pretty old!"

Michael Myers: "Did you tell anyone yet?

Mark Patton: "Yeah, I just called the superintendent, and he's calling 911."

Michael Myers: "Okay."

-Mark turns Michael suspiciously, for he sees the blood stains on his overalls.

Mark Patton: "Is that blood?"

Michael Myers: "Oh yeah, I cut myself while cooking."

Mark Patton: "Again?"

Michael Myers: "Yep. I guess I'm not the best cook."

Mark Patton: "Why don't you get it out?"

Michael Myers: "I've tried, but I can't get my hands on a detergent that gets out blood."

Mark Patton: "Have you tried Cheer?"

Michael Myers: "Not yet. I've only used Tide and Wisk."

Mark Patton: "Well, you ought to try Cheer. It can get anything out, even sem-, I mean, syrup. Maple syrup."

-Freddy and Jason laugh.

Michael Myers: "But, any detergent can get Maple syrup out of clothes."

Mark Patton: "Exactly. And, so does Cheer."

Michael Myers: "Whatever you say."

-Michael closes the door on Mark and turns to Freddy and Jason. Freddy and Jason are still laughing over Mark Patton.

Michael Myers: "Say, you guys didn't happen to see Mrs. Randall before coming to my pad, did you?"

Freddy Krueger: "Oh, I don't think so."

Jason Voorhees: "Definitely not!"

Michael Myers: "That's funny. Just before you guys knocked on my door, I heard Mrs. Randall scream. You guys always scare Mrs. Randall on the way to the to my pad."

-Michael turns to Freddy and Jason. Freddy and Jason turn to eachother, then back to Michael.

Michael Myers: "And, Mark said that she appeared to have a heart attack."

-Mark turns back Freddy and Jason, and stares them down. Freddy and Jason turn back to eachother, then back to Michael. Michael continues to stare them down with his dead-like eyes. Freddy and Jason turn back to eachother, then back to Michael.

Freddy Krueger: "Yes, we did."

Jason Voorhees: "We're sorry!"

Michael Myers: "So, you scared you her death, did you?"

Freddy Krueger: "I told him not to."

Jason Voorhees: "Hey, don't put the blame on me. It was all you this time. You saw that she didn't walk out her apartment when we walked back, and waited."

Freddy Krueger: "What are you talking about? YOU always are the one who scares Mrs. Randall. I'm a prankster, but I'm not going to go out of my way to scare an old lady!"

Michael Myers: "You know, I expected better out of you two."

-Michael turns to Freddy.

Michael Myers: "You should have told him to not scare her!"

Jason Voorhees: "Yeah, you should have!"

-Michael turns to Jason.

Michael Myers: "And, you should have known better than to go out of your way to scare some old woman, like Mrs. Randall."

-Freddy and Jason both sigh.

Freddy Krueger: "You're right."

Jason Voorhees: "I'm sorry."

Michael Myers: "Well, you better be. Because, if you guys keep this up, you'll blow our cover. And, I'll be kicked out of this pad. Now, you guys don't want me to go pad-hunting again, do you?"

Freddy Krueger: "No."

Jason Voorhees: "Your pad is cool!"

Michael Myers: "Exactly. So, wise up."

-Michael goes on to wash his bloody knives. Freddy and Jason sit on the Lazyboy sofa's to watch Michael's `60 flat TV. That's when there is another knock on Michael the front door. Michael goes to answer it. He opens up the door...to reveal his grouchy neighbor, Mr Heckles, who lives right below his apartment.

Mr. Heckles: "You are walking too loud again!"

Michael Myers: "That's funny. I thought I was walking like I usually I do. Very quietly, very sneaky..."

Mr. Heckles: "Not me. I always hear a rockus above my ceiling. You're interupting my yoga."

Michael Myers: "You don't do yoga!"

Mr. Heckles: "I could do you yoga. I just..."

Michael Myers: "And besides Mr. Heckles, need I have to remind you that your ceiling is very hollow and that our movements are heard more loudly through it, because of that?"

Mr Heckles: "I...I..."

Michael Myers: "And, need I have to remind you that you could switch into another apartment in this building?"

Mr Heckles: "There are no more apartments left that face the north side of Manhatten."

Michael Myers: "So, I should just move into another apartment, because of your personal preferances?"

-Mr. Heckles shrugs.

Mr Heckles: "Yeah!"

-Michael starts to push Mr. Heckles out of his doorway.

Michael Myers: "I'm sorry Mr. Heckles, but if you, ahem, heckle me one more time about this, I'll report you to the superintendent."

-Michael slams his door on Mr. Heckles. Mr. Heckles is heard angerly stomping his way down the hallway. Freddy and Jason laugh.

Freddy Krueger: "What a nutcase!"

Michael Myers: "You can say that. He's been on my ass about this forever."

Freddy Krueger: "Why don't you report him?"

Michael Myers: "I guess that I'm hoping that he will wise up and move into another apartment."

Jason Voorhees: "He is right, though. We do face the best side of Manhatten."

-Jason looks out window looking at the north side of Manhatten. For, it is late morning and the sun is peaking through between two building with a wide spread of colors peaking through other buildings. Freddy and Michael join him to enjoy the view.

-Later on in the afternoon, Freddy and Jason have lunch with Michael in his pad.

Michael Myers: "You know, I had the weirdest dream last night."

Freddy Krueger: "Oh, really?"

Michael Myers: "It was more of a nightmare, actually.

-Freddy snickers.

Freddy Krueger: "Oh, really?!"

Michael Myers: "Moustapha Akkad was having a board meeting with the executives from Dimension Films. It was set sometime after the release of 'Freddy vs. Jason,' and they were going over the potential rumors that erupted after it. 'Halloween,' the remake, 'Helloween'..."

Freddy Krueger: "Oh, I see. You dreamt about your worst fears - the fate of your 'Halloween' series."

Michael Myers: "I guess so. They even talked about a ninth 'Halloween' film, where Bianca Kajlich comes back, with possibly Busta Rhymes or Ja Rule."

Jason Voorhees: "Oh my gosh!"

Freddy Krueger: "That is definitely a nightmare. I wonder how you wound dreaming that..."

Michael Myers: "Freddy!"

Freddy Krueger: "I'm just kidding! I didn't pit you in a nightmare, certainly not that one. If I ever entered your dreams and pit you in a nightmare, I'd digger deeper than that. I did when I entered Jason's dream in 'Freddy vs. Jason' and discovered that he was afraid of water."

Jason Voorhees: "Only in my dreams! In reality..."

Freddy Krueger: "Yes, I'm aware of that, Jason. Everybody knows that in reality, you're the first person to dive into Crystal Lake when some stupid bimbo skinny dips!"

-Freddy and Michael laugh.

Michael Myers: "Anyway, in my nightmare, Akkad and the executives were coming up with the worst possible ideas, for a remake, versus spinoff, and sequel. In fact, they hardly thought about the misconceptions of the ideas. All they thought about was the money. There were even bubbles with the $ symbol floating above their heads!"

-Freddy and Jason laugh.

Freddy Krueger: "That's Dimension for ya!"

Michael Myers: "So, they start deviously laughing like villians in movie, and I crash into the room and start slaughtering all of them!"

Jason Voorhees: "Oh, cool!"

Michael Myers: "It was when I was about to bat Akkad to death, when I woke up."

Jason Voorhees: "I would have loved to see that!"
Freddy Krueger: "You know what? That is your fear. The fate of the 'Halloween' series and how much worse it could get. And, you probably planned to slaughter Akkad and those stupid executives if they ruined it more, anyway. That's why you dreamt all that."

Michael Myers: "I'm just glad that Akkad really isn't doing a remake or versus spinoff."

Jason Voorhees: "What about 'Halloween 9'?"

Michael Myers: "He's still working on that."

Freddy Krueger: "He better be. He better thinking it all through before making the movie. The last thing I want of a new 'Halloween' entry is a rush job like 'Halloween 5: The Revenge of Michael Myers'."

Michael Myers: "I still don't know how I forgave him for that. I don't know if I really did."

Freddy Krueger: "We'll have to see what happens I guess."

-Freddy turns to Jason.

Freddy Krueger: "Oh, wait a minute. I've been meaning to ask you this. What's going on with your kid?"

Jason Voorhees: "What kid?"

Michael Myers: "Yeah, your kid with Chrissy. I want to know, too!"

Jason Voorhees: "Oh, that kid! Yeah, I told earlier this week I'd check on that. Well, I found out a couple of things. After our inital 'meet-cute,' Chrissy's parents took her away for a while. She really freaked out about what happened."

Freddy Krueger: "Yeah, you really fucked her up!"

Jason Voorhees: "Yeah! Anyway, when they found she was pregnant, they realized it could only be mine, because she never went 3rd base with Rick."

Freddy Krueger: "That's right. There's a virgin!"

Jason Voorhees: "And, they tried aborting the baby...thirteen times!"

Freddy Krueger: "Whoa!"

Michael Myers: "They couldn't kill it?"

Jason Voorhees: "No. I guess he had my genes!"

Freddy Krueger: "Like father, like son!"

-Freddy, Jason, and Michael laugh.

Jason Voorhees: "So, she ultimately gave birth to the baby, and when it was born, her parents immediately gave him a way to adoption."

Michael Myers: "It was a boy?"

Jason Voorhees: "I guess so."

Freddy Krueger: "What about him? Wasn't he deformed at all?"

Jason Voorhees: "Not really. He appeared to be a perfectly healthy baby boy. But naturally, they didn't want to take care of a child that was the product of their daughter and some psycho, so they gave it away."

Michael Myers: "So, how'd he grow up?"

Freddy Krueger: "And, what was his name?"

Jason Voorhees: "Chrissy and her parents never bothered to name the poor sucker, so it was the first family that named him."

Michael Myers: "The first?"

Jason Voorhees: "Yeah, the first family kept the kid for only seven years. They named him Todd. Todd was a nice little boy, but apparently he was bit demented. He drew disturbing pictures of people dying in gruesome fashions."

Freddy Krueger: "Oh my gosh!"

Jason Voorhees: "I know! That's my boy! And apparently, there 'mysterious' deaths that occured around him."

Freddy Krueger: "Like I said, like father, like son!"

Jason Voorhees: "You got that right! So, after seven years, Todd was adopted by another adoptive family. Then, another. And, another. And more!"

Michael Myers: "Sounds like we have classic horror icon on our hands!"

Jason Voorhees: "I hope so!"

Freddy Krueger: "That kid's gotta be 20 now."

Jason Voorhees: "Actually, 21. There is an interesting 'fun fact' here too. In his last year with his first adoptive family, he went on vacation to New York."

Freddy Krueger: "1989, right?"

Jason Voorhees: "That's right! While he was there, he saw some psycho with hockey mask chasing some kids around the streets."

Michael Myers: "Oh my gosh!"

Jason Voorhees: "That's right. Of course, no one wanted to help the poor kids. Not even Todd's parents. They told him that he's a regular New York psycho."

Freddy Krueger: "Some regular New York psycho!"

Jason Voorhees: "It didn't get any better after that. Up that point he drew only gruesome pictures of death. But, after seeing me in action, mysterious deaths occured around him. His adoptive families were found killed in what appeared to be series of 'accidents'."

Michael Myers: "Just like 'Mikey'!"

Jason Voorhees: "When he hit his teen years, he started to relax more. He found an interest that would become his profession. He became a Surgeon!"

Michael Myers: "Just like that?"

Jason Voorhees: "Apparently, he studied really hard and really had knack for it. Herbert West taught him."

Freddy Krueger: "Sounds like the next Doogie Howser!"

Jason Voorhees: "Yep, and he now works at St. Agnes Hospital in New York!"

Freddy Krueger: "No shit?"

Jason Voorhees: "No shit!"

Michael Myers: "Wow. Sounds like you spawned a brilliant son! When are you going to meet him?"

Jason Voorhees: "Meet him? I can't meet him!"

Michael Myers: "What? Why not?"

Jason Voorhees: "Look at me! I'm not fit to be a father!"

Freddy Krueger: "How can you say that? I'm the dream master, and I have Maggie."

Jason Voorhees: "When was last you saw her?"

Freddy Krueger: "Oh, yeah..."

Michael Myers: "I'm starting to see your point. Just look at me. I have to conceal part of my identity to keep in touch with Stephen."

Jason Voorhees: "Exactly. I'm thrilled that I've created a brilliant surgeon. But, there's no way I could get involved in his life. He would never accept me."

Michael Myers: "Plus, you would have the burden of being responsible for his mother's death. It's not so easy for me in that department."

Jason Voorhees: "Stephen's mother is also your niece."

Michael Myers: "Yes, that too..."

Freddy Krueger: "Stephen's still cool though."

-Freddy, Jason, and Michael, all go back to finishing their lunch. That's when Freddy vaguely hears something in the next room.

Freddy Krueger: "Hey, do you guys hear that?"

Michael Myers: "I don't hear anything."

Freddy Krueger: "I wait! I know it is!"

-Freddy gets up and walks around the living room to the wall by the front door. Freddy listens carefully against the wall.

Freddy Krueger: "I was right!"

-Freddy turns to Jason and Michael.

Freddy Krueger: "It's the lesbians!"

Jason Voorhees: "Lesbians?!"

Michael Myers: "Oh, yeah!"

-Michael turns to Jason.

Michael Myers: "If you listen carefully, you can hear the lesbians next door bathing together!"

-Michael grabs three glasses and jumps to the next room. Jason jumps with him. Jason and Michael meet Freddy at the wall. Michael hands Freddy and Jason their glasses. Michael turns to Jason.

Michael Myers: "Put your glass against the wall. You'll hear everything very clearly. Trust me."

-Freddy, Jason, and Michael, put their glasses against the wall and hear running water. They also hear scrubbing. That's when they begin to hear the lesbians suggestively talking to eachother.

Jason Voorhees: "Oh! Oh my gosh!"

-For, Jason can hear lesbians, Daisy and Rose, through all the scrubbing.

Daisy: "Rose, did I mention how I love bathing with you?"

Rose: "Yes, I know. I love it. It feels sooo goooood!"

Freddy Krueger: "Now, that's what I'm talking about!"

Daisy: "Could you scrub me here and here?"

Rose: "You mean your breasts? Of course!"

-Slow, gradual scrubbing can be heard. Freddy flinches.

Rose: "Could you scrub my neck area? I really need it there."

Daisy: "Why, of course my Rose!"

-More slow, gradual scrubbing can be heard. Drool drips Michael's mask.

Daisy: "Now, you scrub me all the way down there?"

Rose: "You mean..."

-Freddy flinches.

Daisy: "Yes please!"

Rose: "Of course!"

-More slow, gradual scrubbing can be heard. Freddy flinches.

Daisy: "Aww. Yes, yes, yes. YES! YES! YES!..."

-Suddenly, Jason walks away from the wall as in a trance. He quietly walks out of Michael's apartment and down the hall. Freddy and Michael never notice, but keep eavesdropping on the lesbians.

Daisy: "...YES! YES! YES!..."

-A loud noise is heard in the background of the scrubbing.

Daisy: "...YES!...huh?"

-Freddy and Michael turn to eachother, then go back to eavesdropping. Suddenly, a loud noise is heard, as if a door is being knocked over. Daisy and Rose scream. Then, swinging can be heard. Then, silence. Freddy and Michael turn to eachother, than to the spot where Jason would be.

Michael Myers: "Where's Jason?!"

-A moment passes and Jason comes back into room all bloodied up. He is holding his machete, also bloodied up.

Michael Myers: "Jason, you didn't? No! No! You couldn't have!"

Freddy Krueger: "Jason, you...you...you...how could you do that?!"

Jason Voorhees: "I'm sorry, I couldn't help it. I heard my calling."

Michael Myers: "What calling?"

Jason Voorhees: "Two lesbians were getting down and dirty. I'm geared to take out naughty people like that."

-Freddy and Michael both sigh. For, Jason is really like that.

Michael Myers: "It's okay. But, I still can't believe you killed the lesbians!"

Freddy Krueger: "Yeah!"

-Freddy and Michael both sigh again.

Michael Myers: "Let's go clean it up. It's all we can do. Otherwise, Mark will hear what happened and put two and two together."

-Freddy and Jason start walking with Michael across the floor towards the front door. That's when an annoying tapping can be heard below their floor. Freddy, Jason, and Michael stop in their tracks.

Jason Voorhees: "What the..."

Michael Myers: "It's Mr. Heckles. We must be too loud again."

-Freddy, Jason, Michael continue to walk toward the front door. Mr. Heckles taps his ceiling with a broom again. Michael sighs in frustration and stomps on his floor. Mr. Heckles responds in tapping his ceiling more. Michael stomps on his floor again. Mr. Heckles taps his ceiling. Freddy and Jason join Michael in stomping on his floor. Mr Heckles taps his ceiling once more. Freddy, Jason, and Michael stomp on the floor again.

-Mr. Heckles is about to respond when a disrupting below them can be heard. Freddy, Jason, and Michael duck away to the sofas, as if the floor was about break through. But, they just hear more disrupting. The disrupting stops. Silence. Micheal carefully gets up and walks across his floor. He's fine. He stomps its on it at a bit. The floor holds its own. He stomps on like crazy to test it. And, he hears disrupting again. But, the floor doesn't break through. They hear something below break apart and fall. The object makes it fall. Silence.

Michael Myers: "Uh, oh."

-Michael calls for Heckles.

Michael Myers: "Mr. Heckles?"

-Silence.

Michael Myers: "Mr. Heckles? You okay?"

-Suddenly, action can be heard below on Mr. Heckles' floor. They hear banging as if neighbors are trying to get into Mr. Heckles' apartment. They call for him. Finally, they are heard breaking through...and they freak out. More action can be heard around them as if the neighbors are contacting the rest of the neighbors in the building. That's when there's a knock on the door. Michael cautiously goes to answer it. He opens the door...to reveal Mark Patton.

Mark Patton: "Hey Michael, you'll never believe this!"

Michael Myers: "What?"

Mark Patton: "Mr. Heckles just got impaled by his chandalier!"

-Freddy and Jason turn to eachother.

Michael Myers: "Actually, I can believe that."

Mark Patton: "What?"

Michael Myers: "Well, uh, the space between my floor and Mr. Heckle's ceiling is very hollow. I guess it finally took its toll."

Mark Patton: "Yeah, that's right. Did you hear anything?. You live right above him. You had to have heard him."

Michael Myers: "I heard disruption between my floor and his ceiling. Then, I heard something breaking and falling..."

-Mark Patton sighs.

Mark Patton: "Yeah. What a way to go."

Jason Voorhees: "There are worse ways!"

Mark Patton: "What?"

-Freddy shoves Jason.

Jason Voorhees: "Uh, nothing!"

-Mark turns back to Michael.

Mark Patton: "Is that really all you heard?"

Michael Myers: "Yeah, it was very sudden."

Mark Patton: "Well, I should go tell Daisy and Rose."

Michael Myers: "No, don't!"

Mark Patton: "What?"

Michael Myers: "Uh, Daisy and Rose are sleeping. I don't think its a good idea to wake them up over this."

Mark Patton: "How do you know they're asleep?"

Michael Myers: "Uh, they came see us earlier today after Mr. Heckles heckled me again over the hollow floor. They always do. They look up to us."

Mark Patton: "Oh. Okay..."

-Mark goes back down the hallway. Michael turns to Freddy and Jason.

Michael Myers: "Okay. We better dispose of the lesbians. Quick!"

-Freddy, Jason, and Michael, go to clean up what's left of the lesbians. Later on, Freddy and Michael back having cleaned up of all of the evidence. By then, an paramedics already went and took Mr. Heckles body.

Michael Myers: "I hated doing that."

Freddy Krueger: "That was not pleasant."

-Jason comes back with two trash bags holding the evidence.

Jason Voorhees: "Man, that was really bloody!"

Michael Myers: "Yes, it was."

Jason Voorhees: "Blood was everywhere!"

Freddy Myers: "Yes, whatever Jason."

Jason Voorhees: "I really did heck a slashing..."

Michael Myers: "That's enough, Jason!"

Jason Voorhees: "Okay, okay. Say, you guys want to order Chinese?"

-Blood drips off the trash bags.

Freddy Krueger: "Yeah, sure!"

Michael Myers: "I wouldn't mind that."

-Michael whips out his cell phone to order the food. He calls the Chinese place.

Michael Myers: "Hello? I'd like to order some food for take-out. I'd like a quart of wonton soup, a pint of sweet and sour chicken, and pint of pork fried rice..."

Jason Voorhees: "Hey, make that a quart of chicken!"

Michael Myers: "...Actually, make that sweet and chicken a quart instead..."

Freddy Krueger: "I'll have general Tsou chicken."

Michael Myers: "...And, I'll also get a quart of General Tsou's Chicken..."

Jason Voorhees: "And make that fried rice a quart!"

Michael Myers: "...Actually, make that pint of pork fried rice a quart..."

Jason Voorhees: "Oh, and wonton soup! I want my own quart of wonton soup!"

Michael Myers: "...And, one more thing. Another wonton soup...What size...?"

Jason Voorhees: "A quart! A quart!"

Michael Myers: "...Uh, I'll make that a pint extra wonton soup..."

-Jason sighs.

Michael Myers: "Where do I live? I live at Mount Hall apartments. What room and floor? Floor no. 69 and room no. 666."

-Freddy and Jason laugh.

Michael Myers: "What? I just told you. Floor no. 69 and room no. 666."

-Freddy and Jason continue to laugh. Michael hears laughing on the other line.

Michael Myers: "Why are you laughing? I told you, my floor no. is 69 and my room no. is 666!"

-Freddy and Jason laugh their hearts out.

Michael Myers: "Yes, that's it. That's my floor and room no.'s."

-Michael hears more laughing on the other line.

Michael Myers: "I don't what up your asses, but I hope to see one of your guys at my apartment with my food in about 30 minutes!"

-Michael hangs up on the operator at the chinese place. He sees Freddy and Jason laughing.

Michael Myers: "What?!"

-Later on, Freddy, Jason, and Michael enjoy their chinese food.

Michael Myers: "What a day, this has been."

Freddy Krueger: "Yeah."

Michael Myers: "Nearly all my nearby neighbors are dead!"

Jason Voorhees: "You can say that again!"

Freddy Krueger: "There's still Mark!"

Michael Myers: "Yes...how could I forget him?"

Jason Voorhees: "I love days like this!"

-Michael turns to Jason.

Michael Myers: "Is that really you are all about? Constant, relentless death?"

Jason Voorhees: "Well..."

Michael Myers: "Because, you are responsible for most of my neighbors' deaths today!"

Jason Voorhees: "Well, I guess so!"

-Michael sighs and continues eating his food. Freddy turns to Jason.

Freddy Krueger: "You think you'll ever meet your son?"

Jason Voorhees: "I don't know. I guess time will tell."

Michael Myers: "Well, Tiffany is due to give birth in about a month. And, she will be taken the same hospital Todd works at as surgeon."

Jason Voorhees: "What are you suggesting?"

Michael Myers: "Why don't you try to meet him while Tiffany's in labor?"

Jason Voorhees: "What? With a face like this?!"

-Jason points out his muggy, deformed and disgusting face. For, he took off his mask in order to eat his Chinese food.

Freddy Krueger: "You could just cover up your pretty face with your mask all the time."

Jason Voorhees: "That won't work. Eventually, he'll want to see underneath."

Michael Myers: "Why don't you get plastic surgery? I had it earlier this year before summer."

-Michael points out his handsome and unscarred face. He also took off his mask in order to eat.

Jason Voorhees: "Hey, that's right. But, I don't think it will work on me. You guys have no idea much time I spent under Crystal Lake between my killing outbreaks. The water softened and soggied my head like you would never believe."

Michael Myers: "Well, take a look at this."

-Michael goes to the kitchen and grabs several of his old I.D.'s. He hands them to Freddy and Jason to see.

Jason Voorhees: "Whoa!"

Freddy Krueger: "Oh my gosh!"

Michael Myers: "That's how burnt up my face was. First, there was the explosion of fire in the hospital in 1978. In addition to those scars, I slipped into a coma for ten years. It took a lot of time for that to heal. Then, there was the internet stint at my house last year. I got wound up with wires in the garage and fire caught all around me. That fire worsened my scars even worse. So, this year, just before summer, I found an underground plastic surgeon in dark alleys of New York.

(Flashback to Michael's plastic surgery)

-It is almost summer in 2003. Michael is meeting with an underground plastic surgeon in the dark alleys of New York.

Plastic surgeon: "Take off your mask."

Michael Myers: "I don't think I should."

Plastic surgeon: "Go ahead. I've seen a lot of pretty faces!"

Michael Myers: "Really, it is not a pretty sight."

Plastic surgeon: "Really, it's okay. Show me."

-Michael sighs and takes off his white-sprayed William Shatner mask. The plastic surgeon freaks out for a moment and faces Michael.

Plastic surgeon: "You're right. That's pretty bad! But, I think I can fix it."

-The plastic surgeon proceeds to re-do Michael's face on the operating table. Waiting in the back room for his turn, is stepfahther, Jerry Blake. Finally, the plastic surgeon finishes fixing up Michael's face. Michael's face is wrapped up in guaze. The plastic surgeon wraps away the gauze. He wraps off the last bit of gauze and sees the end result.

Plastic surgeon: "Oh my gosh!"

Michael Myers: "Hand me the mirror!"

-The plastic surgeon hands Michael a mirror. Michael looks at his new face...it is beautiful! It is handsome and completely unscarred. There are no sign that his face was ever burnt up and scarred. Michael smashes the mirror against the operating table, breaking it to pieces and laughs in a devious fashion. For, from now on, no one would ever suspect him. Ever!

(End of flashback)

-Michael is deviously laughing.

Michael Myers: "So, people will never suspect me again! Never!"

-Suddenly, there's a knock on the door. Michael goes to answer it. Michael opens his frong door...to reveal Mark Patton again.

Mark Patton: "Say, you wouldn't have any whipped cream, would you?"

Michael Myers: "Again? I just let you borrow it last night."

Mark Patton: "Well, I need it again. I've been, uh, making a lot of desserts lately."

-Freddy and Jason cut in.

Freddy Krueger: "Oh, really?!"

Jason Voorhees: "What kind of desserts?!"

Mark Patton: "Uh, pies. Apple pie, Peach pie. I like pie."

Freddy Krueger: "Oh, well, I like pie too!"

Jason Voorhees: "We both do!"

-Mark turns back to Michael.

Mark Patton: "Anyway, can I..."

Michael Myers: "Yeah, sure."

-Michael goes to the kitchen to get whipped cream. Freddy and Jason bother Mark more.

Freddy Krueger: "Can we join you with your pie?!"

Jason Voorhees: "Yeah, I would like to have my pie!"

Mark Patton: "Um, that's okay. I have company over."

Freddy Krueger: "Company? What company?!"

Mark Patton: "Not that its any of your business, but its a friend."

Freddy Krueger: "Oh, this wouldn't be the Creeper, would it?"

Jason Voorhees: "The Creeper?!"

Mark Patton: "The Creeper? No! Not at all!"

-Michael comes back with the whipped cream.

Michael Myers: "Here's your whipped cream."

Mark Patton: "Thanks."

Michael Myers: "Oh, and have a good time with the Creeper!"

Mark Patton: "What? What are you talking about? I don't know any creeper!"

-Suddenly, Freddy, Jason, and Michael, hear a familiar voice down the hallway.

The Creeper: "Hey Mark, come back here. I want my whipped cream and I want it now!"

-Mark looks embarrassed.

The Creeper: "Hey! Are you coming back here or not?"

-The Creeper can be heard coming over to Michael's apartment. Freddy, Jason, and Michael, look in surprise as the Creeper appears at their door. It was the Creeper!

The Creeper: "Hey, I know guys!"

Jason Voorhees: "Yeah, we saw you at the Horror Convention in 2001. You were honored for 'Jeepers Creepers'!"

The Creeper: "Yeah! And, we'll meet again at his this year's Horror Convention too!"

Freddy Krueger: "That's right! 'Freddy vs. Jason' baby!"

The Creeper: "Well, I gotta go! I have a date!"

-The Creeper grabs Mark and starts dragging away.

Mark Patton: "No! Don't let him take me! He's really aggressive!"

Michael Myers: "Enjoy your date, Marky Mark!"

-Michael closes his front door.

Mark Patton: "Nooo...!"

-Freddy, Jason, and Michael, laugh their hearts out.

Jason Voorhees: "I didn't know that Mark was seeing the Creeper!"

Freddy Krueger: "I know, it's pretty funny!"

Michael Myers: "Man, I have the weirdest neighbors. Well, actually, I did."

-Freddy, Jason, and Michael, laugh.

Freddy Krueger: "Well, what should we do now?"

Jason Voorhees: "Let's watch 'The Blair Witch Project'!"

Freddy Krueger: "'The Blair Witch'? Oh, please!"

Jason Voorhees: "But, there's a great drinking game that goes with it!"

Michael Myers: "What's that?"

Jason Voorhees: "Everytime a character says the word, 'Fuck,' we have a drink!"

Freddy Krueger: "Jason, we'd be drunk all night!"

Jason Voorhees: "I know!"

Michael Myers: "Okay!"

Freddy Krueger: "Well, as long as I'm drunk, the movie will be easier to watch!"

-Freddy, Jason, and Michael go to drink and watch 'The Blair Witch Project'!

THE END

Jason vs. San Francisco aka Gay City