-...Later on, Freddy and Jason are cleaning up what's left of the die-hard fans in Michael's pad. They're bodies are all over the apartment, they're blood all over the place. Michael wound up killing all of them, and eventually fled his apartment. Freddy and Jason clean up his apartment, in hopes of wiping away all evidence of Michael's massacre. They also clean up his apartment, feeling responsible for setting up a party Michael didn't want.

Freddy Krueger: "How did I know that setting up this party was a bad idea?"

-Jason wipes off the a die-hard fan's brains off the wall.

Jason Voorhees: "I don't know...it was the thought that counts."

Freddy Krueger: "And, look what happened."

-Freddy exclaims this while dumping a bloody arm into a trash bag.

Jason Voorhees: "Well, he was kind of happily surprised at first. It's just that stupid fan who was here for the wrong Myers."

Freddy Krueger: "I don't know about that. He still seemed angry."

Jason Voorhees: "Wasn't he coming from a meeting with Moustapha Akkad and Dimension Films?"

Freddy Krueger: "As he does every week insisting on not doing 'Helloween'."

Jason Voorhees: "You think he might have had a bad meeting again?"

Freddy Krueger: "I wouldn't be surprised."

-Freddy wipes up sticky blood from the floor.

Freddy Krueger: "And, you said that Michael trained you into the killer you are today?"

Jason Voorhees: "Yes siree!"

Freddy Krueger: "Now I understand. You two always seemed to have different techniques in your movies. You'd just go all crazy on your victims, while Michael would prey on his victims methodically before killing them. I guess its his rage that really drives him in the most dangerous situations.

Jason Voorhees: "Oh, yeah! You should have seen him in the early 80's while 'Halloween II' was being filmed. He had his creative differences with Rick Rosenthal's direction. Part of it was that he was disappointed that John Carpenter wasn't directing the sequel. You know what he often did after filming for day?"

Freddy Krueger: "What? Start a massacre?!"

-Jason wipes off giant bloody spot on the wall.

Jason Voorhees: "You bet. We'd be at the bar, and I'd be trying to console him. When I couldn't get through with him, and when his pressure only got worse, his rages often turned him to a massacre."

Freddy Voorhees: "So, he has anger management problems?"

Jason Voorhees: "Deep underneath, yeah. It doesn't get out much, because he'll hold in a lot of aggresion. But when it does, it really blows up in your face!"

-Freddy drops a decapitated head into the trash bag

Freddy Voorhees: "Yeah, I just saw one of his demonstrations just now."

Jason Voorhees: "That's why he's so quiet and humble a lot of the time. He's not really that angry a person a lot of the time, because he hides it, but when it gets out..."

Freddy Voorhees: "Yeah, I see what you mean. We're lucky he didn't kill us for trashing his pad!"

Jason Voorhees: "I don't think he'd ever be able to do that. We're all that he has. Together, we're the big 3!"

Freddy Krueger: "That's right!"

-Suddenly, a knock is heard out of nowhere from the front door. Freddy and Jason are shakened. Freddy goes to the door.

Freddy Krueger: "Who is it?"

Superintendent: "The Superintendent."

-Freddy turns to Jason.

Freddy Krueger: "Clean up the rest of this mess. I'll talk to him."

-Freddy opens up the door a bit and quickly steps out closing the door behind him.

Superintendent: "Can't I come in?"

Freddy Krueger: "I normally would, but I don't want to disturb the others."

Superintendent: "What others?"

Freddy Krueger: "Michael's guests. It's Michael's surprise party."

Superintendent: "Yes, surprise party. That's what it is. I understand that there was a lot of noise coming from his apartment. The neighbors reported it."

Freddy Krueger: "Really? We're sorry about that. Michael has had a lot of shit to deal with lately, and Jason and I planned this surprise party in hopes of brightening his spirits. And, we sure did! I guess we partied too hard."

Superintendent: "I understand that there was shouting and screaming."

Freddy Krueger: "Shouting and screaming? Well, I don't know what to say about that. Except that we were watching a really scary movie! That's right, everybody was freaking out over the movie Jason and I gave Michael."

Superintendent: "Really? What movie?"

Freddy Krueger: "Oh, uh, 'Ringu'!"

Superintendent: "'Ringu'? What's that?"

Freddy Krueger: "Well, remember that movie from last year, called 'The Ring'?"

Superintendent: "Uh, I believe so."

Freddy Krueger: "Well, it's a Japanese movie from 1999. 'The Ring' is a remake of that."

Superintendent: "Really? I didn't know that."

Freddy Krueger: "Well, it is. Anyway, about disturbing the neighbors...we're really sorry about that."

Superintendent: "I understand, but I still have file it as a complaint."

Freddy Krueger: "Okay."

-The Superintendent, starts to walk a way when he turns back to Freddy.

Superintendent: "Wait a minute, you look familiar!"

Freddy Krueger: "Oh...really?"

Superintendent: "Yes, I remember your face from a movie."

Freddy Krueger: "Oh, well, I don't know what movie you'll find me in..."

Superintendent: "Wait, I know...Robert Englund!"

Freddy Krueger: "Who?!"

Superintendent: "Robert Englund. He's an older actor who did some work in horror films in the 1970's.

Freddy Krueger: "I don't know about that."

Superintendent: "You look just like him...except for your burn marks all over your face."

Freddy Krueger: "Well, that totally discards me from resemblance right there!"

Superintendent: "Yes, it does. But, I still see a resemblance."

Freddy Krueger: "I don't know about you, but I have a party to get back to. Bye."

Superintendent: "Make sure to keep quiet!"
Freddy Krueger: "Of course."

-Freddy walks back into Michael's apartment. Jason is cutting up the remaining body in order to fit it into the trash bag.

Freddy Krueger: "Well, we're just about done cleaning up Mike's apartment."

Jason Voorhees: "Yep. I never thought I'd have the honor cleaning one of of Mike's massacres!"

Freddy Krueger: "Yeah...we better catch up with Mike and stop him. If it gets too out of hand, he could get caught."

Jason Voorhees: "I don't know about that!"

Freddy Krueger: "He could get surrounded around by several policeman. They could shoot him down and leave him unconscious enough to restrain him. Hell, Dr. Loomis set a trap against him in "Halloween 5," and beat him to a pulp."

Jason Voorhees: "True. But, I know where to find him."

Freddy Krueger: "Really? Where?"

Jason Voorhees: "Home."

Freddy Krueger: "Home? This is his home. Wait, do you mean...Haddonfield?"

Jason Voorhees: "You bet. He always goes back to his childhood home whenever he feels down. He has before."

Freddy Krueger: "Then, we better go there and console him."

Jason Voorhees: "Great, a road trip!"

Freddy Krueger: "Yeah. You almost done with that body?"

Jason Voorhees: "Just one more thing."

-Jason drops a head cut-off head into the trash bag. Blood is oozing out of the its slit throat.

Freddy Krueger: "Say, want to stop by Burger King along the way?"

Jason Voorhees: "Sure!"

-Later on, Freddy is riding with Jason in his brand new BMW Z5 SUV to Haddonflield, Illinois. They are eating their food from Burger King.

Freddy Krueger: "I've always wondered this. How did Michael react when John Carpenter and Debra Hill went on to make an anthology series out of the 'Halloween' movies?"

Jason Voorhees: "He wasn't very happy, I can tell you that. It all started in 1982. Since the year before, Mike and I had chilled in this one pad. We became best buds. We were the big 2! Michael was more than anxious to do the next "Halloween" movie. He kept inferring back to Moustapha Akkad about it, but he stopped responding."

Freddy Krueger: "Yet, he will refer to him now for any crappy "Halloween" movie he wants now."

Jason Voorhees: "Yeah, talk about gratitude for ya. Anyway, they finally had the fateful meeting. He told Mike that he was going to move on with the "Halloween" series without him and make an anthology series out of it. He never returned to the pad that night."

Freddy Krueger: "Where'd he go? Did you find him."

Jason Voorhees: "I search around our regular places around town. Finally, I decided to hit Haddonfield at his childhood home."

Freddy Krueger: "What happened?"

Jason Voorhees: "I walked in and it wasn't a pretty sight. The family living there at the time was butchered like you couldn't believe."

Freddy Krueger: "Like tonight?"

Jason Voorhees: "Close. I looked around the house and eventually found him upstairs. I remember this really well. I searched every room. Upon leaving the last room, Michael came out of nowhere from a dark corner causing me to fall over the handrail and land on the bottom stairs."

Freddy Krueger: "Just like in the movie?"

Jason Voorhees: "Yeah, except that he didn't mean to. He didn't know I was there."

Freddy Krueger: "Did it hurt?"

Jason Voorhees: "Me? No! I just got up like nothing happened."

Freddy Krueger: "Oh, that's right."

Jason Voorhees: "After that, he told me about the meeting, and said that he was going to go away for a while."

Freddy Krueger: "Really?"
Jason Voorhees: "Yeah. Seeing how he was unwanted, he wanted go out on an adventure or something. Figure things out."

Freddy Krueger: "And, did he?"

Jason Voorhees: "Well, we kept in touch for a while, but I heard from him less and less. And eventually, I completely lost contact with him. He said he was going to try getting work from other film industries. I guess he it never worked out."

Freddy Krueger: "And, that's when he started working at restaurants."

Jason Voorhees: "That's right."

Freddy Krueger: "And, I guess somewhere along the line, he started tracking down nis niece."

Jason Voorhees: "Yep. And, we all know what where that went."

-Further up the street are 5 hippies in a scooby van.

Hippie #1: "Dude, I can't believe we have ticketes to an early screening of 'The Texas Chainsaw Massacre'!"

Hippie #2: "Yeah, yo! We're so lucky."

Hippie #3: "Well, we are 5 out of 100 people chosen for this. We aren't that lucky. This is a remake! Remakes suck!"

Hippie #2: "Not all of them. You haven't forgotten 'The Thing' already, have you?"

Hippie #3: "Oh, yeah! Can't forget that shit."

-Hippie #4 is just finished up smoking a lot of marijuana.

Hippie #4: "Remake? What remake?"

Hippie #1: "'The Thing,' dude! That movie was da bomb! You saw it with us the other night."

Hippie #4: "I don't remember seeing no thing!"

Hippie #5: "He's not going to remember seeing it. He fell asleep after taking so much drugs!"

Hippie #2: "Yeah, yo!"

Hippie #3: "Well this "Chainsaw" remake better be good!"

Hippie #5: "Wait a minute. 'The Texas Chainsaw Massacre' is remake?!"

-Suddenly, a truck pulls up next to their van. The hippies notice and see a dark, rugged figure at the driver's seat. Suddenly, the figure slams into their van running them off the road. The van, losing control, turns over. The truck stops on the side of the road next to the van. The figure steps out...revealed to be Leatherface! Leatherface goes to the back end of the truck pulling out his weapon of choice...a chainsaw! He climbs up the van and and stands on the side. He slides open the side door to reveal the five hippies all shakened up. Leatherface starts running the chainsaw. The hippies scream. Leatherface starts sticking the chainsaw into the van. The hippies are trapped. That's when Jason drives past.

Freddy Krueger: "Was that..."

Jason Voorhees: "Leatherface!"

Freddy Krueger: "I guess he was hungry!"

-Freddy and Jason both laugh.

 

-Later on, they finally make it to Michael's childhood home in Haddonfield. The house has been on sale since Michael's recent massacre. It has been trashed thanks to the angry neighborhood, and it's broken windows are now boarded up. Michael's car is also parked on the driveway.

Jason Voorhees: "Here it is."

Freddy Krueger: "This is it?"

Jason Voorhees: "Yeah, why?"

Freddy Krueger: "I thought it was larger. I thought it was a mansion."

Jason Voorhees: "Oh, you saw 'Halloween 5' recently, haven't you? Yeah, the house is larger than it was in the earlier 'Halloween' films. That's poor continuity, just one of many examples to go follow in the last half of Mike's series. I know, it sucks for him."

Freddy Krueger: "Yes, that does explain that."

-Freddy and Jason walk up to the door of the Myers house, only to see a hole through it, looking particularly like the imprint of Michael's body.

Jason Voorhees: "Michael's home."

-Freddy and Jason start walking through the body imprint in the door. Jason walks through noticing the extra inches of the imprint.

Jason Voorhees: "Man, Mike's really tall."

-Freddy walks through noticing the extra inches of the imprint, then notices the extra inches on Jason.

Freddy Krueger: "I'm pretty short."

-Freddy and Jason, now inside the Myers house look around. They notice the dining room to the left leading to kitchen, the stairway in front of them, the hallway leading also in front of them, and the living room to the right that also leads to the kitchen.

Jason Voorhees: "You check to the left, I'll check to the right."

-Freddy wonders into the dining room. He notices the remaining furniture all covered with sheets and layers of dust. Jason wonders into the living room also seeing remaining furniture. He walks past the furniture and into the kitchen. While in the dining room, Freddy hears Jason call for him.

Jason Voorhees: "Hey Fred, check this out!"

-Freddy walks to the end of the dining room and into the kitchen, only to see a male stabbed against a cabinet. He's hanging from the ground and his feet are flailed downward. On the counter is an opened bottle of Heiniken.

Freddy Krueger: "What to do ya know."

Jason Voorhees: "Mikey's still angry!"

Freddy Krueger: "Why would this teen be here? Nobody owns this place."

Jason Voorhees: "Hell, I don't know. All I know is that it's good handiwork!"

Freddy Krueger: "Let's check the upstairs."

-Freddy and Jason walk around the living room and to the stairs. They look up and almost get the chills.

Jason Voorhees: "Normally, I wouldn't feel so timid about walking up the stairs of some stranger's house. But Michael's..."

Freddy Krueger: "Yeah, I know what you mean."

-Freddy and Jason begin slowly up the stairs.

(Cue the eerie "Halloween" theme)

-Freddy and Jason continue walking up the stairs. They walk it almost feeling like the stairs are neverending. Eventually, they reach the top and peak around the hallway. They see nothing. They step up the hallway and go follow down the right side.

Jason Voorhees: "Do you hear that?"

Freddy Krueger: "What?"

Jason Voorhees: "It's hard to say. It's very faint."

-Freddy and Jason continue walking down the dark hallway.

(The eerie "Halloween" them continues cueing).

Jason Voorhees: "I still hear it!"

Freddy Krueger: "Well, I don't hear anything. Certainly not anything behind me, so I don't think Mike is stalking us."

Jason Voorhees: "He wouldn't stalk us."

Freddy Krueger: "Not if he wanted teach us a lesson and scare us. He's great at coming out of nowhere behind you."

Jason Voorhees: "He scares us enough inadverdantly. Hey, I heard it again!"

-Jason suddenly looks behind him...and sees nothing. Then, he looks back in front him...and again sees nothing. Freddy just laughs at him.

Jason Voorhees: "I don't understand."

Freddy Krueger: "I do. You're getting paranoid. You're getting scared!"

Jason Voorhees: "No I'm not!"

Freddy Krueger: "Yes you are! Admit it."

Jason Voorhees: "Hey, I never get scared!"

Freddy Krueger: "That must explain why you're not scary in your own movies!"

(The eerie "Halloween" them continues cueing)

Jason Voorhees: "Well, I'll see about that...Wait, I heard it again!"

-Jason goes down the hall following what he thinks he hears.

Freddy Krueger: "I still don't hear anything."

-Jason stops in the room at the end of hallway and looks in.

Jason Voorhees: "Well, you must be deaf. Take a look."

-Freddy reaches the room at the end of the hallway and looks in. There on the floor is a cassette player playing music, none other than the eerie "Halloween" theme.

Freddy Krueger: "What do ya know."

-Jason shuts off the cassette player.

(The eerie "Halloween" theme automatically uncues)

Freddy Krueger: "Who would set up this cassette player in this room like this?"

Jason Voorhees: "Well, there's that guy downstairs."

Freddy Krueger: "Wait, look."

-Freddy points to clothes on the floor and the bed in the back of the room. The dusty sheets have been carried off bed.

Jason Voorhees: "One guy fully clothed, and some extra clothes. I don't get it."

Freddy Krueger: "Do you think he was living here?"

Jason Voorhees: "Only if...he was a runaway."

-Freddy and Jason go back down the hallway. They check the rest of the rooms as they go. So far, they see nothing. Then, they enter one of the last rooms at the end and spot a dead, naked chick on a bed.

Jason Voorhees: "Whoa!"

Freddy Voorhees: "The dude's not alone."

Jason Voorhees: "Hey, he maybe have been here to get it on with that chick!"

Freddy Voorhees: "Likely."

-Freddy and Jason walk around the rest of the room checking it out. Jason is checking around the closet area, when suddenly another dead, naked chick comes swinging back and forth from the ceiling.

Jason Voorhees: "Whoa!"

Freddy Krueger: "Another one!"

-Freddy notices really big boobs on the hanging chick.

Freddy Krueger: "With nice surprises too!"

Jason Voorhees: "Okay...fully clothed guy...two naked chicks...Hey, this guy and those chicks must have come here to the Myers house to get it on, orgy style! Man, he was going to be so lucky!"

Freddy Krueger: "You can say that again! He was probably downstairs getting drinks for the chicks."

Jason Voorhees: "And, that's when Michael got him."

Freddy Krueger: "Then, he eventually got the chicks."

Jason Voorhees: "So, where is he now?"

Freddy Krueger: "Let's check the rest of the rooms."

-Freddy and Jason leave the room when Michael comes out of nowhere from the darkness of the hallway. The fright causes Freddy and Jason to fall over the railing and land on the bottom steps of the staircase.

Freddy Krueger: "Ow! No wonder I prefer living in my dreamworld. I can't get hurt!"

-Freddy struggles to get up, while Jason just bounces back up like nothing happened. Michael looks down at them from the second floor.

Michael Myers: "What are you guys doing here?"

-Freddy finally regains his footing.

Freddy Krueger: "What do you think?"

Jason Voorhees: "I knew I'd find you here."

-Michael sighs and starts for the stairs. He reaches the stairs and sits down on the top step. Freddy and Jason meet him up there.

Jason Voorhees: "Alright, what's wrong?"

Freddy Krueger: "Did you have another bad meeting with Dimension Films?"

Michael Myers: "What do you think?"

Freddy Krueger: "Okay, bad meeting with Dimension. But, what else? Normally, you don't cause a massacre after a bad meeting with those slimeballs."

Michael Myers: "Well, for starters, I clearly told you guys that I didn't want a big party for my birthday, let alone a surprise party."

Jason Voorhees: "Why wouldn't you want a party though? You didn't mind parties in the past."

Michael Myers: "But, things are different now. I'm getting...older."

Jason Voorhees: "So am I! Most people don't realize this, but I'm 57 years old!"

Michael Myers: "That's right..."

Jason Voorhees: "And, I'm still the drunk, fun-loving guy I was back in 1980!"

-Freddy mutters to himself.

Freddy Krueger: "...Drowned as a child in 1957..."

Michael Myers: "I never thought of that. But, even younger at 46, I feel like I wasted away most of life."

Freddy Krueger: "Jason, you were eleven when you drowned?"

-Jason shrugs.

Jason Voorhees: "Yeah. It wasn't a pleasant experience."

-Suddenly, whimpring can be heard in one of the nearby rooms.

Jason Voorhees: "I'll check!"

-Jason wonders off to the whimpering. Freddy turns to Michael.

Freddy Krueger: "Why do you think you wasted most of your life?"
-Jason calls back.

Jason Voorhees: "Hey guys, it's the hanging chick! She's still alive!"

-Jason gets his machete from his side. Freddy and Michael listen as bloods splatters onto the floor in the room as if bucket of blood was being spilled.

Freddy Krueger: "Anyway, why do you think you've wasted most of your life?"

Michael Myers: "Well, let's see. I murdered my sister, Judith when I was six years old. Then, I spend fifteen years at that asylum. Then, Dr. Wynn helps me escape so I can go after my other sister, Laurie. I fail, but before finally getting her twenty years later, I go through a great deal of trouble to get my niece, Jamie. And in order to get her, I end up with those darn druids, and..."

Freddy Krueger: "Okay, I see what you mean. You were sentenced on one mission you're entire life and it takes you up to your adult years to finally achieve most of the kills. In between those years, you were either imprisoned, in a coma, or in the hands of the druids, all of which for several years at end."

Michael Myers: "Exactly. If I had achieved my original goal, to get Laurie, and not fail, leaving her to create offspring, thus leaving me to get the offspring as well, I would not have wasted over 20 years...in nothingness."

Freddy Krueger: "Well, you still have Stephen. You're still feeling the pressure there too."

Michael Myers: "Oh, you have no idea. Physically, I could easily take care of him. But, I don't have the will in me to do it. I think its because after so many years of nothingness, I feel compelled to make something of my life and what I have...my son."

Freddy Krueger: "It's almost as if you now have soul."

Michael Myers: "You could say that."

Freddy Krueger: "Well, don't let that take you down. If you're not ready, you're not ready. You don't have to. Lord knows how many times I could have taken care of Maggie in her dreams...but didn't."

-Jason comes back to Freddy and Michael at the top of the staircase, and with blood all over him.
Freddy Krueger: "Looks like had fun in there!"

Jason Voorhees: "Oh, yeah. I started chopping her up and..."

Michael Myers: "Jason, please don't indulge into the details."

Jason Voorhees: "Okay..."

Freddy Krueger: "Say, why was that cassette player playing your 'Halloween' theme?"

Michael Myers: "That's a tradition here in Haddonfield. The teens try to survive a night here in this supposedly haunted house while playing the eerie theme to my movies. These three horny teens weren't so lucky. Say, let's just all go to the bar and have a drink."

Jason Voorhees: "You want to? You're feeling better?"

Michael Myers: "Yeah. Let's go to Pinhead's nightclub."

Freddy Krueger: "Then, we have a long drive."

Michael Myers: "Then, lets get going."

-And, Freddy, Jason, and Michael start their drive all the way back New York to Pinhead's night club.

THE END