Jason Voorhees: "Oh, what the hell!"

-Jason grabs a bottle of Budweiser and gulps it all down. Once finished, he looks around. He is still seeing in crystal clear sight.

Jason Voorhees: "Hey, I'm okay. I'm still sober!"

-The light turns green and Jason starts driving. He makes a right turn and heads down the road. He looks at the passing cars. Still in regular view. He looks back at the upcoming road ahead of him. Suddenly, everything starts to fade in a back and forth motion, leaving him unable to concentrate on his driving.

Jason Voorhees: "No!"

(Cue AC/DC's Rock song "Highway to Hell")

-Everything he sees appears dazed and confusing. The road starts appearing like a twisty path. Jason follows that twisty path. He steers his Navigator in a back and forth motions, side-swiping cars on the left and right sides of the road. The Navigator goes down the road twisting around knocking off cars left and right. In a Honda Accord up ahead on the left side of the road, a woman talks on her cell phone.

Woman: "...Oh, the party was awful! The food was terrible, the music was way too loud, there were no alcoholic drinks, and the guys were duds!...Yeah, really. It's like you can't find a decent man around Manhatten anymore..."

-In his drunken state, Jason steers his Navigator to the left about to sideswipe the woman in the Accord.

Woman: "...Yeah, yeah, exactly. I shouldn't have left my husband. He wasn't so bad after all..."

-Jason sideswipes her Accord, and sends her bailing off the road towards a telephone pole.

Woman: "Aaah!!"

-The Accord hits the telephone pole at 30 miles per hour and explodes. The whole car is in ashes, burning and melting everything within it. The woman's body slowly decays from flesh to black steanch. In a Chevrolet Impala up ahead on the right side of the road going the opposite direction, are a guy and girl.

Guy: "Hey babe, how you doin'?"

Girl: "I told you. I'm not ready yet! If you keep pushing for it like this, you'll never get it from me!"

Guy: "How can you say that? I'm the Stiffmeinster!"

Girl: "You're an obnoxious jerk, that's what you are!"

Guy: "Oh yeah?"

-Guy advances his right hand to the girl's knee and eyes for seconds on end.

Girl: "Pay attention to the road you pervert, or you'll get us into an accident."

Guy: "Or mayby we'll get into beautiful intercourse baby!"

Girl: "In your dreams! Hey, watch the road!"

Guy: "It's okay baby..."

Girl: "No it's not! There's a big truck about to hit us!"

-Guy looks in front of him to see a Lincoln Navigator about to hit him.

Guy: "Oh, shit!"

-Jason sees them screaming at him and slides off his mask distracting them with his muggy, deformed, and disgusting face.

Guy and Girl: "Aaah!"

-Jason sideswipes the guy and girl and send their Chevrolet Impala into a string of cars on the other side of the road. They crash into another car side-to-front, causing other cars to crash into each other front-to-back, front-to-side, back-to-side, etc. It is a big mess. An oncoming car hits one of the crashed cars and causes it to explode. The guy and girl in the Impala are horrorified as it causes several cars around them to explode like dominoes.

Guy and Girl: "Aaah!"

-Jason, drunk as ever, continues to drive back and forth on the road hitting cars left to right. A barrel of cars have either been run off the road, or crashed into other cars. Several of which have blown up lighting up the road very evidently labeling Jason's carnage. Up ahead in a Cadillac Escalade are three punks.

Punk #1: "Dude, I still can't get Rad, Joey, and Tod on my phone. They would have answered by now!"

Punk #2: "Where were they last?"

Punk #1: "Some apartment complex."

Punk #3: "Dude, maybe they're getting it on!"

Punk #2: "Dude, I don't think so! Tod was there to see his grandmother. Apparently, she was scared to leave her apartment. She's living next to some scary dude or something."

Punk #3: "Maybe they met some hot babes afterwards!"

Punk #1: "Even if they did, they better show us to some of their babes' friends!"

-Jason creeps to the left toward the three punk's Escalade.

Punk #2: "Dude, watch out!"

-Jason sideswipes the Escalade running it off the road toward a gas tank of a gas station.

Punk #1: "Dude, no!"

-The three's punks perish as the Escalade crashes into the tank, causing a massive explosion of the entire gas station. As a result, one of the cars taking gas, now all burnt up, flies from the gas station and into a group of cars on the road. the burnt up car crashes into one of the cars, causing the rest to crash front-to-back, front-to-side, back-to-side, etc. The burnt up car explodes causing all the crashed cars around to explode like dominoes. Explosion after explosion after explosion. It's all a bit mess. Jason continues his rampage down the road.

(Uncue AC/DC's Rock song, "Highway to Hell")

-Meanwhile, Freddy and Michael continue to watch the news on Michael's flat `60 inch TV.

Freddy Krueger: "Hey, what's that?"

Michael Myers: "What?"

Freddy Krueger: "Turn off the volume on your TV."

-Michael puts the volume on mute.

Freddy Krueger: "Listen."

-Within a matter of seconds, Michael hears something from the next room.

Michael Myers: "You'r right. There's something going on in the next apartment."

Freddy Krueger: "Isn't that were those lesbians, Daisy and Rose, live?"

Michael Myers: "Yeah, it is."

Freddy Krueger: "Oh, boy!"

-Freddy and Michael listen closely to the wall.

Freddy Krueger: "I hear water."

Michael Myers: "And scrubbing."

Freddy Krueger: "Scrubbing?!"

-Freddy goes to the kitchen and grabs two classes. He goes back to Michael at the wall.

Freddy Krueger: "Use these. It should sound clearer."

-Freddy and Michael put the glasses agains the wall and listen carefully.

Freddy Krueger: "I definitely hear scrubbing. What the heck do you think she's doing?"

Michael Myers: "Or, what do you do you think 'they' are doing?"

Freddy Krueger: "They?!"

-Freddy listens through the glass extremely carefully.

Freddy Krueger: "You're right. They're both there. I can hear their voices."

Michael Myers: "They must be in the tub bathing."

Freddy Krueger: "Bathing?! Man, you live in the coolest apartment! You can eavesdrop on two lesbians bathing in a bathtub!"

Michael Myers: "This isn't right."

-Michael walks away from the wall.

Freddy Krueger: "What?"

Michael Myers: "You're right. We are eavesdropping on two lesbians. It's none of our business to listen to their private things, even if they are bathing."

-Freddy listens throught the glass.

Freddy Krueger: "Wait! Mike, you gotta hear this!"

Michael Myers: "I don't think so."

Freddy Krueger: "No, really! I guarantee that this something you'll want to hear!"
Michael Myers: "All right."

-Michael returns to Freddy, puts the glass against the wall, and listens.

Daisy: "I love bathing with you, Rose."

Rose: "Yes, it feels soooo gooooood!"

Daisy: "Could you scrub me here and here?"

Rose: "You mean there and there?"

Daisy: "Yes, my breasts."

Rose: "Gladly!"

-Freddy snickers.

Freddy Krueger: "Oh my gosh!"

Daisy: "Aww! That feels so good!"

Rose: "My back has itched me a lot lately. Could you..."

Daisy: "Of course."

Rose: "Aww. Yes, yes, yes, yes. YES, YES, YES, YES!"

Freddy Krueger: "Yes, yes, yes..."

Michael Myser: "Hey, be quiet! You don't want them to hear us."

Freddy Krueger: "Oops!"

Daisy: "Could you scrub me down there?"

-Freddy flinches.

Rose: "You mean all the way own there?"

Daisy: "Yes, please!"

Rose: "Okay!"

-Freddy flinches again.
Daisy: "Oh, my! Oh, my! YES, YES, YES..."

-Meanwhile, Jason, drunk as ever, continues his rampage down the streets of Manhatten. He steers his Navigator to the left and right of the street running cars off the road. Up ahead in a Lincoln Towncar is Roger Ebert.

Roger Ebert: "I don't know what to say about the horror genre as of the last couple of weeks. First, there was utterly stupid, 'Freddy vs. Jason,' which we were fortunate enough to not review. There's nothing in me that could amount to words to describe it's badness. Then came 'Jeepers Creepers 2,' an atrocious little film in itself. And that remake of 'The Texas Chainsaw Massacre'...the most unpleasant movie I've seen in years. I absolutely hated going to the early screening of that..."

-Jason steers right to Ebert and about to crash it.

Roger Ebert: "...What?...Am I being too hard? I wouldn't think so. I'm being payed to review these wretched movies they show us. What am I supposed to do? Tell what I really think and not take the extra pay?"

-Jason suddenly crashes into Ebert's Towncar sending him tumbling down the the road. Ebert's Town car tumbles going back and forth for several feet. It finally stops. Ebert opens his eyes to find his Towncar upside down several feet away where the Navigator struck him. He tries to get out from underneath his car, but his seat belt has him strapped stuck to his seat.

Roger Ebert: "No!"

-Suddenly, Ebert sees a big rig coming his way.

Roger Ebert: "No!"

-The big rig starts to break (Screeeeeeeee...!). Ebert looks in horror as the big rig comes closer about to hit his car (Screeeeeeee...!). He desperately tries to get his seat belt loose, but he is unsuccessful.

Roger Ebert: "Why did this have to happen to me? No wonder characters in movies never wear seat belts!"

-The big rig is just couple of feet away (Screeeeeeee...!) when Ebert covers his eyes in despair. The screeching stops (Screeeeeeeeeeech!) and a moment passes. Ebert opens his eyes only to see that the big rig stopped a mere inch away from his car.

Roger Ebert: "Yes! Whew! Yes!"

-That's when Ebert hears screeching all around him (Screeeeeeeech!). A whole bunch of cars stop around the truck and his Towncar. Then, more screeching cars (Screeeeeee....!) could be heard. More cars were coming his way and about to hit the other stopped cars.

Roger Ebert: "What on earth..."

-That's when those screeching cars (Screeeeee...!) hit the other stopped cars (Craaaaaaash!), and causes the cars to crash and crunch into eachother. More crashing and crunching could be heard (Craaaaaash! Cruuuuuunch!).

Roger Ebert: "No!"

-Finally, the crashing (Craaaaaaaash!) and crunching (Cruuuuuunch!) stop. A moment passes. Ebert struggles to loosen up his seat belt. Finally, he breaks free of it. He starts to crawl out of from underneath his Towncar, when he hears something falling. He looks up.

Roger Ebert: "No!"

-A telephone pole was about to fall over several of the crashed cars. The pole was falling as a result of Jason running a car off the road and causing it to crash into that pole. the pole continues to fall. From Ebert's view, it appears to fall practially in slow motion. Finally it makes its fall and crushes several of the crashed cars (Cruuuuuuuuuunch!). A moment passes.

Roger Ebert: "This can't get any worse. It just can't!"

-Ebert finally crawls out from underneath his Town car. He stands up to see all the cars crunched into eachother in such a way, it's practially a maze to get out. He climbs his cars and stands on top. Seeing the next car three feet away, he makes a jump for and makes it.

Roger Ebert: "Yes!"

-Ebert continues to jump from car to car. That's when he smells burning gas. Then, fire starts bursting from one of the cars. The cars were about to explode!

Roger Ebert: "No!"

-Ebert continues to jump from car to car. He gets to a car that is a mere 7 feet.

Roger Ebert: "Uh..."

-Ebert makes the best of it and jumps for all...and makes it. He jumps to the next car. That's when on fire blows up. It nearly shakes all the cars around him and almost causes him to fall. He maintains his footing and goes for the next car. Then, more cars start burning fire. Then, one of them explodes.

Roger Ebert: "No! Why does this have to happen to me?!"

-Ebert makes another daring jump onto one car, then another. He has only a couple of more cars to go and he'll be away from the group of crashed cars. More cars begin burning of gas and more cars explode. Ebert can practially smell the gas, it's that hot. He continues jumping from car to car. Finally, there's only two more cars to go. Another car explodes, causing the rest of the cars to shake so rapidly, he falls. Fortunately, he falls on the car, not in between any. He gets up and jumps for the next car and makes. One more car to go. More cars burn gas and explode. It is becoming more frequent at this rate.

Roger Ebert: "One more car!"

-Ebert makes one more daring jump...and doesn't make it. He falls in between the cars. He struggles to climb onto the top of the last car. More cars explode around him. The smell of gas is far more evident and the gas was practially choking Ebert. Finally, he makes it up the car and stands for all. Several more cars explode around him and shake all the cars rapidly. Ebert maintaints his footing and makes a daring off the car...and makes a few feet away from on the pavement. More of the cars explode. Ebert gets up and runs for it. He runs to a nearby store. That's when more cars explode, causing one enormous explosion. Ebert makes it to the store and ducks down. The explosion makes its full run and and settles. Ebert looks in shocked awe as the cars melt away under the intense wall of fire.

Roger Ebert: "First, 'The Texas Chainsaw Massacre.' Now this. Why me?!"

-Further up the road, Jason cause more and more rockus. More cars have hit telephone poles, more cars have collided with others, and more cars have crashed into the likes of gas stations and stores. Jason, still drunk, starts toward a Ford Explore. In the Ford Explorer are two guys.

Guy #1: "Man, that party really sucked!"

Guy #2: "Actually, I wouldn't say so. I got laid!"

-Jason crashes into the Ford Explorer and causes it to collide with upcoming cars.

Guy #1 and 2: "Nooo!"

-The Explorer topples over the cars, crunching them and drivers and passangers within them, and lands on it's wheels back on the road.

Guy #2: "Hey, we made it!"

-Then, an upcoming car hits the Explorer, and it and the Explorer explode in a nice massive explosion of it's own. Next, Jason crashes into a Chevy Blazer, causing it to crash into a telephone poll. The telephone falls over and crunches over several upcoming vehicles. Jason, trying to drive out of the way of the fallen telephone and the crunched cars, makes it out of the way, but loses control of the Navigator. The Navigator crashes straight into a McDonalds restaurant. He breaks through a wall and window and glass shatters all over. The Navigator stops in it's tracks in the middle of the floor. Several people in the restaurant look in shock and try to help Jason out of his Navigator. A man opens the drivers side door and help out.

Man: "Sir, are you okay?"

-Jason, still in his drunken state, sees the man and the rest of the people in the restaurant as former victims about attacking him. His past is literally huanting him in his drunken state. The man continues to try to help Jason.

Man: "Sir, get out of your car. It's okay."

-Jason grabs the man and twists his head 180 degrees. His body falls and the people in the McDonald's restaurant look in shock. They start to flee. Jason grabs another man and slashes his machete straight through his chest, leaving blood to burst out. Then, he twists the machete around back and forth leaving blood to spout out of his mouth.

Man: "Augh...Augh...Augh..."

-Jason pulls his machete out of the man and drops his body. Then, he catches up with two women, grabs them, and smacks their heads together so hard, he crushes them, leaving bloody aftermath. Jason catches another man trying to flee, grabs him, holds him out, and cracks his body back in half (Craaaaack!). He drops the body and sees no one else in his view. That's when he hears someone in behind him.

Someone: "Shh! Be quiet!"

-Jason turns around and sees the kitchen of the McDonald's restaurant. The McDonalds workers were hiding! Jason heads to the kitchen. He walks behind the stand where the cash registers are and sees no one. He walks back further and can hear the voices. Going back further, he can make out three McDonalds workers in the back isle. He goes the long way around the kitchen to get them. As for the McDonald's workers...

Mac Worker #1: "Man, I can't believe what's happened here!"

Mac Worker #2: "Dude, shut up!"

Mac Worker #1: "Really, this is such a freaky situation, that..."

Mac Worker #3: "Dude, shut the hell up! You don't want that psycho to catch us, do you?"
Mac Worker #1: "No! Hell no!"

Mac Worker #2: "Then..."

-Suddenly, Jason appears and grabs Mac worker #2. He stuffs him into an oven, and shuts it.

Mac Worker #2: "Oww!"

-Jason then turns the oven to it's hottest temperature.

Mac Worker #2: "No! Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa...!"

Mac Worker #1: "Dude!"

-Mac Worker #3 tries to get away, but Jason grabs him pulls him to a stand where in a small grease pool where french fries would boil in. Jason grasps Mac worker #2's neck about to stuff his face into the grease pool.

Mac Worker #3: "No! Please don't!"

-Jason stuffs Mac worker #3's face into the grease pool for several seconds on end. He pulls it back out. Mac worker #3's face is burnt to a crisp with peeling skin. He is also motionless. Jason drops the body and turns around to face Mac worker #1. Mac worker #1 is in shock, having seen both his co-workers killed off in gruesome manners. Jason charges towards him.

Mac Worker #1: "No, dude! No!"

-Jason continues charging towards him. Mac worker #1 starts to get away. He runs for it, but trips in the isle of the kitchen. He looks over behind him as Jason charges towards about to give him his worst. He gets out his machete from side.

Mac Worker #1: "Nooo...!"

-Meanwhile, Freddy and Michael are still eavesdropping on the lesbians bathing. The lesbians are actually just finishing up. Freddy is nearly in shock after eavesdropping on the most incredible things. Michael is a little shell-shocked himself.

Daisy: "I loved that scrub bath, Rose. It felt sooo gooood!"

Rose: "I loved it when you scrubbed my back. After all that messing around, I needed it!"

Daisy: "Oh, yeah! And, I loved it when you scrubbed me down in my..."

-There's a knock at Michael's door.

Michael Myers: "Darn! Now?!"

-Michael sighs and goes to to answer the door. Freddy gets away from the wall with the glasses, so it won't seem they were eavesdropping. Michael opens the door to reveal Mark Patton again.

Mark Patton: "Hey Mikey, can I borrow some whipped cream?"

Michael Myers: "Uh, sure. What do you need it for?"

Mark Patton: "Well..."

Michael Myers: "Actually, I don't want to know. I'll just go get it."

-Michael goes to get the whipped cream. Freddy intrudes on Mark.

Freddy Krueger: "Whipped cream? What do you need whipped cream for?!"

Mark Patton: "I, uh, need it for some cake."

Freddy Krueger: "Really? You aren't about to go crazy with your date now, are you?!

Mark Patton: "What? No! It's not even a date!"

-Michael returns with whipped cream and hands it to Mark.

Michael Myers: "Here."

Mark Patton: "Thanks."

-Mark is about to leave when a familiar voice calls for him down the hall.

The Creeper: "Hey Marky, come back here! I want my whipped cream and I want it now!"

-Freddy and Michael both recognize the voice. They turn to each other, than to Mark. Mark looks a little embarassed.

Mark Patton: "I, uh, have it. I'll be right there."

-Mark sighs and starts to down the hallway. Freddy peaks out the hallway to Mark.

Freddy Krueger: "Have fun!"

-Freddy pokes his head back in the apartment and Michael closes the door.

Freddy Krueger: "Oh my gosh!"
Michael Myers: "I knew Mark was gay...but with the Creeper?!"

Freddy Krueger: "Jason is going to love hearing this!"

Michael Myers: "Where is Jason anyways? He should have gotten back by now."

Freddy Krueger: "Maybe he really did drink a Budweiser on the way."

Michael Myers: "I hope not."

-Freddy and Michael go back to Lazy Boy sofa to watch the news. There on the news is a story of a terrible car pile up going down a long stretch of road of Manhatten.

Freddy Krueger: "Whoa."

-Michael turns the volume off mute.

Newsreporter: "We repeat: a crazy driver in a Lincoln Navigator paraded down Woody Allen Ave., causing quite possibly the worst car pile up in New York ever. Many people are dead and several are injured. Apparently, the driver eventually crashed the Navigator into a McDonalds restaurant. One of few survivors from McDonalds have reported that the driver is a psycho bent on killing anyone he sees. The cops are already on their way to stop this psycho."

-Freddy and Michael turn to each other.

Freddy and Michael: "Jason!"

-Meanwhile, Jason has just finished up chopping up Mac worker #1. His arms, legs, ankles, shoulders, hands, the works. Jason walks back to the front of the Macdonalds restaurant from the kitchen only to see several cops surrounding the restaurant. They're police cars are parked like a blockade around McDonalds.

Police Chief: "Come out with your hands up!"

-Jason puts away his machete at his side and stands there.

Police Chief: "We repeat: Come out with our hands up!"

-Jason continues just standing there motionless. The police chief turns to the Sargeant.

Police Chief: "This psycho is not going to budge. Tell all the men to come closer to him and surround him."

Sargeant: "Everyone, surround the suspect!"

-The Policeman don't budge.

Sargeant: "What did I tell you all? Surround the suspect!"

-A Policeman speaks up.

Policeman: "I don't think that's a good idea, sir. I've seen enough horror movies to know that psychos with masks are not friendly. If I didn't know better, we're fucked!"

Sargeant: "You'll be fucked if you disobey my orders. We are are 30 armed men. He is one stupid psycho. Are thirty of us going to be afraid of one man?"

-Silence.

Sargeant: "Well?!"

All the Policeman: "No sir!"

Sargeant: "Good! Now, let's take care of this psycho!"

-The policeman begin to slowly come closer to Jason in order to surround him. Jason doesn't budge. Still in his drunken state, he's kind of tired, but still a machine. He sees these policeman as former victims surrounding him ready to attack. Jason heads back to his Navigator. He opens his back door to check his defense: a spear gun, ax, bow-n-arrow, shotgun, knife collection, and a spear. The men continue to surround Jason. One of the policeman observes Jason going through something in back seat of the Navigator. He turns to another policeman.

Policeman #1: "What do you think he's doing?"

Policeman #2: "I don't know. Jerking off?!"

-Both policemen laugh. The Sargeant turns to them.

Sargeant: "Hey, shut up over there!"

-The policeman are surrounding Jason well around the McDonald's entrance. They stop in their tracks.

Sargeant: "Hey you, come out with your hands up!"

-Jason is still going through something on the backseat.

Sargeant: "I'll repeat for the last time: Come out with our hands up!"

-Jason suddenly turns around and with a quick hand, throws a knife at a policeman. The knife goes straight at the policeman's forehead and he falls back. The policeman look in shock. Jason throws another knife at a policeman and the knife goes straight through the forehead and falls back. Next, Jason throws knives with both hands and gets two policeman. The Sargeant looks in shock.

Sargeant: "Shoot him! Shoot him now!"

-The policeman start shooting Jason with their guns. All of them shoot relentlessly and Jason just stands there taking it. His body eventually falls back to the Navigator. Then, a his head sinks down.

Sargeant: "Stop! We got him."

Suddenly, Jason turns his head back to them and throws two more knives and they get two police. Then, the last two of the knife collection, and the two policemen fall back.

Sargeant: "Uh..."

Policeman: "What do we do?"

Sargeant: "Uh..."

Policeman: "Sarge, what do we do?"

Sargeant: "Uh, just give him the rest of the firepower we can offer him. Something's gotta stop him."

-All the policeman take out their guns and start shooting Jason. Jason takes it as goes through something else in the back of his Navigator. He comes out carrying...the spear! The policeman back away as they keep firing at him. Jason charges toward one of them. The policeman fires bullets at him. Each time, they wince out of Jason't back, not seemingly harming him. Jason reaches the policeman and with a quick swing, he stabs him with Spear.

Policeman: "Augh...augh...augh..."

-The Policeman spouts out blood as Jason lifts him with the spear. He swings the spear behind him leaving the policeman's body to fall off. The policeman's bloody guts remain on the spear and slide down. Next, Jason goes for another policeman and stabs the spear right through his body. Then, he hooks another one with it. Both policeman, with their bodies just poked through the spear, spout out blood. Jason kicks down the spear with stuck bodies and goes for his next weapon of choice.

Sargeant: "My god..."

-Jason comes back from the Navigator with...a spear gun! Jason fires one at a policeman with it, and it goes straight through his neck. Blood bursts from his neck and he spouts out blood from his mouth. Jason fires another policeman with the spear gun and it goes through one of of his eyes. His body flails to the ground lifelessly. Policeman are still shooting Jason and he still taking it. He is a machine!

Sargeant: "This can't be. It's...impossible."

-Jason goes back to his Navigator for...an ax! He throws that ax at a policeman. However, that policeman ducks away and the ax heads to another policeman. But, that oliceman ducks away too from the swinging ax. Two more policeman duck away from swinging ax. Now, that ax is headed straight for the Sargeant. The Sargeant turns his head to see a the swinging ax coming for him.

Sargeant: "What in the..."

-The Sargeant tries to duck away, but it's too late. The ax chops off the Sargeant's head. The head rolls to the ground, it's dead eyes staring back at the horrified expressions of the 15 remaining policeman. Next, Jason comes back from the Navigator with...a bow-n-arrow! Jason aims it straight at a policeman and hits perfectly through his forehead. Blood drips from the wound as his body flails to the ground. Jason aims another arrow at a policeman and it goes through his stomach. The policeman desperately shoot more and more ammo at Jason, and he's still taking it like a pro. The police chief looks in shock.

Police Chief: "We need more back up, damn it, and we need it now!"

-Jason goes for his last remaining weapon...the shotgun! Jason charges toward the remaining policeman with it. The policeman backs away while still firing his gun at him. Jason continues biting the bullets, charging toward the policeman, and impales him with his shotgun. Blood bursts from his wound and he falls back. Jason goes for another policeman with his shotgun and the policeman continues to shoot Jason. But, finally, Jason slows down. He loses grip on the shotgun and flails to the ground. The policemen look in awe.

Policeman #1: "Hey Chief, we got him!"

Policeman #2: "Yeah! It's about damn time!"

-Suddenly, Jason sits up and stand up. He's not done yet! He shrugs, gets his machete from his side, and charges for the 13 remaining Policeman.

Policeman #1: "What the..."

Policeman #2: "Why can't he die?!"

-Meanwhile, Freddy and Michael continue to watch the news.
Newsreporter: "We repeat: the police have been sent to take care of the driver.

Freddy Krueger: "Take care of Jason? Yeah, right! Jason will take care of them!"

Michael Myers: "Yeah, and it ain't it going to be pretty!"

-Newsreporter: "Apparently, the chief of police and Sargeant were sent with 28 armed men to stop the driver's massacre."

Michael Myers: "30 Policeman? Do you think Jason can handle that?"

Freddy Krueger: "I don't know. To face that many people at once...is kind of a record for him. I remember the nightmare I pit him in. At one point, I resurrected like 10 to 15 of his former victims, and he handled them like a pro."

Michael Myers: "In a way, all this reflects on me. I trained him and made the psycho he is today."

Freddy Krueger: "You mean back in 1981 for 'Friday The 13th Part 2'?"

Michael Myers: "Yep."

Newsreporter: "It is has been reported that the police Chief just called for back-up for more policeman."

Freddy Krueger: "Did you hear that?!"

Michael Myers: "Hell, yeah. It looks like the Police can't handle our boy, Jason!"

-Meanwhile, Jason has slashed his machete in a policeman's chest and is twisting it around like crazy.

Policeman: "Augh...augh...augh..."

-The Policeman spouts out like blood from his mouth. The blood drips from his chin and to the ground. All the 8 remaining Policeman look in disgust. Finally, Jason kicks the policeman's body off his machete. Jason goes for the next policeman. The policeman shoots Jason, but Jason takes it as the bullets just keep wincing out of his back. Jason drops his machete and just goes for him. He grabs by his head and slowly crunches head.

Policeman: "Aaaaaaaaaaah....!"

-Jason continues crunching his head. The bones of the policeman's head can be heard crunching apart (Cruuuuuunch...!)

Policeman: "Aaaaaaaaaah...!"
-Finally, Jason gives him one more good crunch and the policeman dies away.

Policeman: "Aaaaaaaah...Augh!"

-Jason drops the body and a policeman looks in shock at what Jason just did. Jason goes for that policeman.

Policeman: "Oh, shit!"

-The policeman does all that can do and fires his gun at Jason. Jason falls back upon impact.

Policeman: "Whew!"

-But, Jason gets up immediately and goes for him again. Policeman #1 fires at Jason again, and he falls back.

Policeman: "Whew!"

-Jason gets one more time charging for the policeman. He tries to fire at Jason again, but he's out of bullets.

Policeman: "Oh, shit!"

-Jason grabs policeman #1 and twists his head 180 degrees. Then, he turns it another 180 degrees. That's a whole 360 degrees! Jason twists his head one more 180 degrees and kicks away his body, tearing the body from the head. The flailing body sprays blood on the 6 remaining policeman. He drops the head and goes for another policeman. The remaining policeman back away while still firing bullets at him.

Policeman #1: "How long is this going to go on?!"

Policeman #2: "I don't know. It seems like forever!"

-Jason stops where he is and heads back. The police look in confusion.

Policeman #1: "What's he doing?"

-Jason walks back to 10 feet where he left his...machete! Jason grabs and charges toward the remaining policeman. The policeman start shooting at him again. Jason takes it, and the bullets wince out of his back. The policeman back away further from the charging Jason. One of the policeman gives up and runs for it. Jason throws his machete at him and it goes through his chest. Blood bursts from his wound and he spouts out blood. Finally, he flails to the ground. Then, Jason grabs the ax found near the Sargeant's body and throws it at another policeman. It burries into his head. Blood drips from the wound and he falls back. There are four policeman, including the Police Chief, left.
Police Chief: "Why is my back-up never here when I need them?!"

-The policeman back away from Jason, still charging after them. Finally, on impulse, one of the Policeman starst flee away.

Policeman #1: "I'm getting the hell out of here!"

-The two other policeman flee with him.

Policeman #2: "I'm going with him."

Policeman #3: "Screw this!"

-The three policeman have left the Police Chief alone.

Police Chief: "What are you fools doing?!"

-The police Chief looks in fright as Jason charges to him. Instead, however, he pushes him aside goes for the three fleeing Police man first. He catches up with Policeman #1, grabs, holds him out, and cracks his body back in half (Craaaaaaack!). He drops the body and follows up with policeman #2. Seeing his machete up ahead, Jason quickly grabs it, while charging. Policeman #2 stupidly trips and falls. He looks over behind him as Jason stands over him with his machete in hand.

Policeman #2: "No! Please no!"

-Jason swings his machete and sinks it deep into his forehead. Blood oozes from the wound. Jason turns around to find policeman #3 further up by the baracade of Police cars. The policeman #3 is trapped by the baracade.

Policeman #3: "No!"

-He looks around to see Jason charging towards him.

Policeman #3: "No!"

-Policeman #3 looks desperately for a way to escape, but is trapped. That's when Jason grabs him. He opens the back door of one of the baracaded police cars, pokes policeman #3's head inside.

Policeman #3: "No!"

-Jason slams the door on his head. He swings it back open.

Policeman #3: "Oww! No!"
-Jason slams the door on his head again. He swings it open.

Policeman #3: "Please!"

-Jason slams the door on his once more. He swings it open.

Policeman #3: "Augh!"

-Jason slams the door on his head one more time (Cruuuuuunch!). He swings it finding policeman #3 motionless. He drops the body and turns around to see the police Chief as the remaining person. The police Chief is in absolute shock at all the carnage around him. Jason charges toward him.

Police Chief: "No!"

-The police Chief staggers away and runs for it. Jason, with a mighty swing, throws his machete at him, and it goes into his back. Jason catches up to where the police Chief lays. He is still alive and looks at Jason in shock. Jason pulls the machete out of his back in a quick motion.

Police Chief: "Ow! Aah!"

-Jason stands over the Police Chief with the machete in hand deciding his fate. The Police Chief is scared out of his wits.

Police Chief: "Leave me alone! Please, leave me alone! I'm sorry!"

-Jason turns his head and is about to swing his machete when he hears more Police cars coming. The back-up was coming. Jason turns away from the police Chief and heads for his Navigator. He gets in, turns on the ignition and starts backing up. Now out of the McDonalds, he pulls a U-Turn and backs up. He stops, then starts going. The police Chief looks in horror as Jason is headed his way.

Police Chief: "No!"

-The Police Chief struggles to get out of the way of the Navigator, but the wound in his back is too much.

Police Chief: "Oww!"

-Jason charges toward where the struggling Police Cheif lays with his Navigator. The Police Chief struggles to move, but can't. Finally, Jason nears the Police Chief.

Police Chief: "Oh, shit!"

-Jason runs over the Police Chief and continues building up speed. Driving at 70 miles per hour, Jason crashes through the baracade of police cars and heads down street. Now going down the road he had previously caused much carnage to, Jason drives around several crashed cars. At this point, Jason is more tired from the drunkenness. The massacre at McDonalds drained him of much energy, as did the policeman constantly firing bullets at him. He drives around the assorted crashed cars tries to get back to the main road. That's when the back-up policeman, the Chief had called in, finally arrive. They keep up with Jason in their police cars. In the one of the police cars...

(Cue for AC/DC's Rock song, "Highway to Hell")

Police Officer #1: "Chief, we were just about arrive at the scene of the crime when we saw suspect in the reported Lincoln Navigator. We're keeping up with him as I speak. I have nine other cruisers with me."

-The ten police cars follow Jason as he drives around the crashed cars on the street. They are all over the place.

Police Officer #1: "Chief, are you there? Chief?!"

-Jason drives back and forth between several groups of crashed cars in a left to right motion. Up ahead, more open road can seen.

Police Officer #1: "Chief, are you there? Damn!"

-Police officer #1 radios the 9 cruisers around him.

Police Officer #1: "Okay, there's some open road ahead. Once there, let's get this son of a bitch!"

-Jason drives back and forth between two groups of crashed cars and starts up on some open road with only a few groups of crashed cars in between (several of the crashed cars have been towed away). The police officer follows and speeds up their cruisers to catch up with him. The policeman speeds ahead next to Jason's Navigator. He turns to Jason.

Police Officer #1: "Stop your vehicle! Stop your vehicle at once!"

-Jason sees the police officer as a former victim bickering with him. He rams the cruiser to the side of the road.

Police Officer #1: "Damn!"

-He raidos the other cruisers.

Police Officer #1: "Surround that Navigator!"

-Police Officer #1 steers his cruiser out of the ditch and tries to catch up. Meanwhile, two cruisers drive up to each side of Jason's Navigator.

Police Officer #2: "Let's get him!"

Police Officer #3: "Yeah!"

-They both swiflty ram him, trying slow him down. But, Jason keeps up his speed. The two cruisers try ram him again and Jason holds his own. The cruisers ram him once more. Jason almost loses control of his Navigator and nearly bails off the road.

Police Officer #2: "Ha!"

-But, Jason regains control, gets back in the middle of the road, and speeds up. The two cruisers drive up to his sides again. Then, police officer #3 of gets ahead of Jason and drives right in front him. Another cruiser drives up to the other side and another blocks him off at the end.

Police Officer #3: "Got you know!"

Police Officer #4 (in the cruiser blocking off Jason's Navigator behind him): "Hell, yeah!"

-Police officer #1 catches up and sees the cruiser surround Jason.

Police Officer: "Good job. Now, whoever's in front, slow down!"

-Driving in front of Jason's Navigator, police officer #3 slows down. Jason's Navigator slows hitting the rear end of the cruiser in front of him. His wheels start to screech (Screeeeeech...!)

Police Officer #1: "Now, we're getting him!"

-With a police car rearing his front and keeping him from speeding up (Sreeeeeeech...!), Jason starts heavily speeding up. At first, his tires start burning. Then, his speeding starts to overcome the slowed down cruiser in front him. He starts pushing the cruiser. The cruiser's tires screech (Screeeeeech...!).

Police Officer #3: What in the..."

-Then, Jason suddenly breaks, causing the cruiser blocking his Navigator's rear end to crash into him. Police pfficer #4, in that cruiser, bumps his head on the steering wheel.

Police Officer 4: "Oww!"

-Jason speeds up and rams police officer #3's car in front. Jason rams him crushing his rear end. Police Officer #3 bumps his head on the steering wheel because of it.

Police Officer #3: "Oww!"

-Jason rams the cruiser in front him again. This time, the cruiser swerves a little. When Jason rams him once more, Jason completely swerves the cruiser, so that he is now facing his side. Police officer #3 looks out his window as Jason is about to ram.

Police Officer #3: "Oh, shit!"

-Jason rams the heck out of him and causes him to topple over on his side. Jason rams him once more and topples his cruiser again. Within the cruiser, now back on it's wheels, Police Officer #3 looks shakened from all the toppling. He looks out his window as Jason is about to ram him.

Police Officer #3: "Screw this!"

-Police officer #3 drives out of Jason's way just in time. However, he ends up in the way of the cruiser (with oolice officer #2).

Police Officer #2: "Oh, shit!"

-Police officers #2 crashes into police officer #3, and both bail off the road.

Police Officer #1: "Unbelieble!"

-Police officer #1 radios the rest of the cruisers.

Police Officer #1: "Somebody drive up to that side."

Police Officer #5: "Yes, sir."

-Police Officer #5 drives up to the side of the Navigator where police officer #2 was. The police officer in the cruiser on the other side of Jason's Navigator, #6, radios Police Officer #5.

Police Officer #6: "Let's get him!"

-Police officers #5 and #6 both ram the sides of Jason's Navigator. Jason almost loses control, but holds his own.

Police Officer #5: "One more time!"

-Both the police officers are about to ram Jason when they see groups of crashed cars their way on their side of the roads.

Police Officers #5 and #6: "Oh, shit!"

-Both police officers crash into the crashed cars and both their cars topple over upside-down on top of them. Jason takes the opportunity to speed up and drives between the two groups of crashed cars.

Police Officer #1: "Don't let him get away!"

-The cruisers speed up to keep up with Jason, but Jason speeds at an amazing 80 miles per hour. The cruisers start to catch up. That's when Jason notices one huge car pile up taking up the whole street (the same pile up Roger Ebert was involved in!). Jason does the only thing he can do. Driving at the speed he's at, he swerves his Navigator, causing it to topple over back and forth several times. His Navigator topples over the big car pile up and to the other side. Finally, his Navigator stops on it's wheels on the other side of the car pile up. Jason is shaken from all the toppling. He shrugs it off, steers his Navigator into the next street and gets the heck out of there! Police Officer #1 almost freaks out seeing Jason escape.

(Uncue AC/DC's Rock song, "Highway to Hell")

Police Officer #1: "Nooo...!"

-Jason drives his Navigator onto another street and tries to find his way back to Michael's pad. He is considerably more tired from his state of drunkenness. That's when a police helicopter spots Jason and flashes it's light on over his Navigator.

Police Officer (in helicopter): "Stop your vehicle at once!"

-Jason keeps going.

Police Officer: "Stop your vehicle at once! This is your last warning!"

-Jason keeps going and tries to get away from the helicopter.

Police Officer: "We warned you!"

-The helicopter swoops low to the ground and shoots at Jason's Navigator. Jason tries dodging the helicopter's bullets by driving back and forth. Jason drives to the left and the helicopter follows firing bullets at Jason's tires. Jason drives to the right and the helicopter follows firing more bullets at his tires. Finally, one of the tires, the rear left one, gives away. The tire goes flat and the wheel scrapes the road.

Police Officer: "Nice try! We got one of your tires!

-Jason continues to drive back and forth. Though, the flat tire makes it harder to control his Navigator.

Police Officer: "You still have the opportunity to give up and go for minimal sentence."

-Jason ignores the police officer and keeps going. He drives to to left and almost loses control of the steering, because of the flat tire.

Police Officer: "You are losing control. You are not going to win. Give up now!"

-Jason keeps going. The helicopter swoops low to the ground and fires at Jason's Navigator again. They fire at his wheels. Jason dodges the helicopter's bullets by driving into the next road. Jason speeds up. The helicopter keeps up however.

Police Officer: "You can't lose us! Give up now!"

-Jason steers to the left, then right, and almost loses control of his steering. The helicopter swoops low and fires at the Navigator again. They hit and flatten Jason's front left tire. Both his front left and rear left tires are flat. Jason can barely control his Navigator.

Police Officer: "Both of your left tires are flat. You can't control you Navigator anymore. Give up!"

-Jason finds himself in despair. Suddenly, a Ford F-150 truck drives up next him. The window rolls halfway down, so Jason can't quite see the driver's face. He recognizes the driver's voice.

Rusty Nail: "Get in!"

-Jason shrugs.

Rusty Nail: "Jump in the back!"

Police Officer: "Stop your vehicles now! Both of you!"

-Jason gets his machete from his side and leans it from the seat to the accelator. He opens his driver-side door. He looks at the distance to F-150 (5 ft.). Just as his Navigator starts to lose control, Jason makes a daring jump to the F-150...and makes it. He holds on over the ledge. He is being dragged. Jason struggles to climb into the Navigator. He gets in and stands up. He made it! The helicopter flashes it's light on the F-150.

Police Officer: "Stop your vehicle at once!"

-Jason slides off his mask to reveal his disgusting, muggy, and deformed face. The Police Officer sees it upon flashing the helicopter light over Jason. He freaks out, and starts to lose control of the helicopter. Unable to regain control, his helicopter starts to crash toward the ground.

Police Officer: "Nooo...Aaah!"

-The helicopter crashes to the ground and explodes the top blades break up sheering to pieces. Jason rejoices. That's when Jason finally starts to lose it. He faints from his tired drunkeness...
-...Later on, Jason awakens just outside Michael's apartment building. Freddy and Michael are there to wake him up.

Michael: "Hey Jason, wake up."

-Freddy slaps him.

Freddy Krueger: "Hey, puckface!"

-Freddy gets up.

Jason Voorhees: "Geez...what am I doing out here?"

Michael Myers: "You just caused the worst car pile up in the history of New York."

Freddy Krueger: "As well as one of the most controversial massacres ever."

Jason Voorhees: "No..no shit?"

Freddy Krueger: "No shit!"

Michael Myers: "Don't you remember anything?"

Jason Voorhees: "Not really."

-Freddy turns to Michael.

Freddy Krueger: "See, I told you! He did drink one of those beers on the way back!"

-Michael turns to Jason.

Michael Myers: "Where's your Navigator?"

Jason Voorhees: "I guess it didn't make it."

Michael Myers: "Then, how did you end up here? Who brought you back?"

-Jason thinks to himself for a moment.

Jason Voorhees: "An unexpected friend."

-Freddy and Michael help Jason back to his pad. They have a lot to talk about.

THE END