-Michael leads Freddy and Jason down the hall. Up ahead, an old lady starts to step out her apartment. Upon seeing Freddy, Jason, and Michael, she flees back into her apartment. Jason snickers.

Michael Myers: "That's Mrs. Randall. For some reason, she always scares back into her apartment when she sees me in the hallway."

Freddy Krueger: "Gee, I wonder why."

Michael Myers: "Here's my apartment."

-Michael stops at the door of apartment number, 666. He unlocks the door and leads Freddy and Jason inside. Freddy and Jason look around. It is a big apartment with a vast living room, a bathroom, a couple bedrooms, and a kitchen.

Freddy Krueger: "Nice place, Mike."

-Jason looks at the stuff in Michael's living room: a flat, '60 inch TV, Three Lazyboy sofas, and a table in the middle area.

Jason Voorhees: "Nice TV!"

-Michael opens up the curtains over the windows to reveal a great view of Manhatten.

Jason Voorhees: "Woah!"

Freddy Krueger: "You're right. That is a great view."

Michael Myers: "What'd I tell ya?"

-Suddenly, a knock is heard at the door. Michael opens the door to reveal...

Jason Voorhees: "Woah!"

Freddy Krueger: "Mark Patton!"

Mark Patton: "Hey Mikey, you have company?"

Michael Myers: "Yeah. I'm sure you're familiar with my friends, Freddy Krueger and Jason Voorhees."

Mark Patton: "Oh, yeah! I, uh, am."

Freddy Krueger: "Hey, how have you been buddy?"

Jason Voorhees: "Yeah! Long time, no see."

Mark Patton: "Oh, I've, uh, been fine."

Michael Myers: "What do you need, Marky Mark."

Mark Patton: "Oh, I, uh, need a knife. I have to cut some vegetables for a stew, and all my knives are in the dishwasher being washed."

Michael Myers: "Oh, okay!"

-Michael goes to his kitchen to get a knife. Freddy and Jason turn to Mark.

Freddy Krueger: "What's up?!"

Jason Voorhees: "What have you been up to?"

Mark Patton: "Oh, uh, nothing much."

Jason Voorhees: "What happened to you? I thought you were going to be a big-time movie star."

Freddy Krueger: "Yeah. You were, after all, in my second 'A Nightmare on Elm Street' movie."

Mark Patton: "Well, uh, it didn't quite work out."

-Michael returns with a knife and hands to Mark. Mark looks at the knife.

Mark Patton: "Why is there dried blood on this knife?"

Michael Myers: "Oh, I, uh, cut myself earlier today while cutting up turkey. See? It's even on my overalls!"

-Michael shows Mark the blood on his ovaralls.

Mark Patton: "Oh. I hope you're okay."

Michael Myers: "I'm fine."

Mark Patton: "Well, see ya Mikey."

Michael Myers: "Good bye Marky Mark!"

-Michael shuts his door.

Jason Voorhees: "Mikey?!"
Michael Myers: "Yeah, I don't like that name either."

Jason Voorhees: "What's up with him? Why's he so..."

Michael Myers: "Gay?!"

Freddy Krueger: "That's why he was acting so weird?"

Jason Voorhees: "Other than he knew us from the set of 'A Nightmare on Elm Street 2'?"

Michael Myers: "Yeah!"

Freddy Krueger: "I knew something was up with him! He always seemed so...confused."

Jason Voorhees: "So, you have a gay neighbor?"

Michael Myers: "Yeah, I guess I do."

Freddy Krueger: "I thought they only existed as cliched characters in apartment-set movies!"

Michael Myers: "Yeah, I know!"

Freddy Krueger: "Cool! Now, you have someone to rely on if you need some good advice and wisdom."

Jason Voorhees: "And, if you need help when you have a psycho for a roommate, who's trying to take over your life."

Micheal Myers: "Yeah, I guess."

Freddy Krueger: "What are your other neighbors like?"

Michael Myers: "Well..."

Suddenly, there's a knock on their door. Michael opens the door to reveal to an older man with decaying grey hair.

Jason Voorhees: "Wo...Huh?"

Freddy Krueger: "Who is this?"

Michael Myers: "Mr. Heckles, meet Freddy and Jason. Freddy and Jason, meet Mr. Heckles."

Mr. Heckles: "Hi to you too. Sonny, what I have I told you before? You walk too loudly up here! And now, you and your friends are walking too loudly. It distracts me from my work."
Michael Myers: "What work? You have no work!"

Mr. Heckles: "I could have work! I just..."

Michael Myers: "And, what have I told you already? I can't help that you hear me when I walk across my floor. It's a hollow floor! It's going to happen. I could walk very sneaky and quietly as if I was the Boogeyman, and you could hear it! Why? Because, it's a hollow floor. In fact, the last people known to live in this particular apartment had apparently said the the same thing and they couldn't help it either. You have to get with the program. Why don't you just move into a different apartment in this building?"

Mr. Heckles: "Why should I move into a different apartment? I have stayed longer. I've been here ten years. You have been here for nearly a week. I have the right to keep my apartment. You should move into the different apartment."

Michael Myers: "I have the same right to stay in my own apartment. You happen to live in a apartment where your ceiling, conjoined with my floor, is hollow enough for you to hear small instances of movement. I can't help that. If you've had this problem for ten years, why didn't you just change apartments?"

Mr. Heckles: "Because, there were no apartments left over that are high enough and face the north side of Manhatten."

Michael Myers: "What does that matter?"

-Freddy and Jason laugh.

Mr. Heckles: "It matters to me. I need to face the north side of Manhatten."

Michael Myers: "Since when do you "need" to face the north side? All the sides are nice!"

Mr. Heckles: "Not to me!"

Michael Myers: "Mr. Heckles, I...I can't keep doing this everyday. Fighting with you over this hollow floor is starting to get really silly. Go back to your apartment right now and stop poking your broom at my floor, or else!"

Mr. Heckles: "Or what?"

Michael Myers: "Or, I'll report you to the super-indendent. All the previous users of this apartment have done so in the last ten years. The super-intendent knows all about you."

Mr. Heckles: "I...I'll get you for this!"

Michael Myers: "No, you won't!"

Mr. Heckles: "Oh, I will! I'll..."

-Michael slams the door on Mr. Heckles. Freddy and Jason are laughing.

Michael Myers: "I know. He's sad."

Freddy Krueger: "That Mr. Heckles is a real grouch."

Jason Voorhees: "Yeah. What's up his ass?"

Michael Myers: "He's just a grumpy, old man who never got to enjoy life. I feel sorry for him."

-Another knock is heard at Michael's door. Michael goes to answer it.

Freddy Krueger: "Who's next? Two lesbians?"

-Michael opens the door to reveal...

Jason Voorhees: "Woah!"

Freddy Krueger: "Two..."

Lesbian #1: "Hi boys!"

Lesbian #2: "How you all doin'?"

Jason Voorhees: "I...I..."

Michael Myers: "Hey. Daisy and Rose, meet Freddy and Jason. Freddy and Jason, meet Daisy and Rose, two of Mount Hall's most attractive residence."

Jason Voorhees: "I...I..."

Freddy Krueger: "Well, I don't know about Jason here, but I just gotta say, you two are the finest pieces of life I've ever seen, or whatever that meant."

Lesbian #1/Daisy: "Oh, we know what you mean."

Lesbian #2/Rose: "Yeah. For a crisp man like you, you aren't so bad yourself."

Freddy Krueger: "Why...thank you!"

Jason Voorhees: "I...I..."

Freddy Krueger: "Come on Puckface, get out it!"
-Freddy slaps Jason on his back.

Jason Voorhees: "I...I...I've come across several attractive women in my lifetime, several of which haven't lasted long, but you two take the cake."

Daisy: "Why, thank you, I guess."

Rose: "I think he means that we really get his attention."

Jason Voorhees: "Exactly!"

Daisy: "We heard you having words with Mr. Heckles. You were the first owner of this apartment to ever face him like that. Most other owners have left Mount Hall, because of him."

Michael Myers: "Really?"

Rose: "Yeah. He's pushed a lot of people out this apartment, yet you keep standing up to him. You're so brave!"

Michael Myers: "Thanks!"

Daisy: "Anyway, keep standing up to him. We'd hate to see you all go away too."

Rose: "Bye!"

Jason Voorhees: "Bye!"

-Jason keeps his eyes on the lesbians as they start to wonder down the hall back to their apartment next to Michael's. He notices the lesbians holding hands and snuggling eachother's asses. Finally, Freddy pull Jason back inside and Michael shuts the door.

Freddy Krueger: "I can't believe it! You have lesbians living next to you. That's so cool. It's like you're living in Heaven!"

Michael Myers: "You're right. I never thought it like that before."

Jason Voorhees: "This place is so cool!"

Freddy Krueger: "Yeah."

Michael Myers: "You guys want drinks?"

Jason Voorhees: "Of course."

Freddy Krueger: "Yeah!"
Michael Myers: "If memory serves me correctly, guys like Budweiser, right?"

Freddy and Jason: "Yep."

Jason Voorhees: "Hell, yeah!"

-Michael goes to the kitchen to get the beers. Freddy and Jason sit down in the Lazyboy sofas.

Jason Voorhees: "Aahh! This feels so good!"

Freddy Krueger: "Hell, yeah!"

-Michael returns with the beers.

Michael Myers: "I see that you guys are enjoying my Lazyboys!"

Jason Voorhees: "Oh, yeah!"

-Michael sits down with them.

Michael Myers: "Don't blame ya!"

-They all take the bottles of beer and gulp some down.

Michael Myers: "So, how have you guys been taking the wave of success?"

Jason Voorhees: "It's great!"

Freddy Krueger: "I haven't felt success burn me this good in a long time."

Jason Voorhees: "I'm finally getting true recognition! Especially after half of my fans were displeased with my excursion out in space."

Freddy Krueger: "I've finally been conceived as dark and creepy again. The way Ronny Yu directed me here makes up for the joke I became in 'A Nightmare on Elm Street 4: The Dream Master' to 'Freddy's Dead: The Final Nightmare'."

Michael Myers: "This is good to hear. And, to think, your movie has made $60 million dollars so far in 10 days."

Jason Voorhees: "$61 million, actually!"

Michael Myers: "Yeah, big difference!"

Freddy Krueger: "We've also stayed at no. 1 at the box-office so far too."
Michael Myers: "That's right. How could we forget that."

Jason Voorhees: "Yeah!"

Michael Myers: "And, to think, I have you two to thank for Dimension asking me to go head-to-head with Pinhead in 'Michael vs. Pinhead'."

-Freddy and Jason turn to eachother, than to Michael.

Michael Myers: "Just kidding. I know it's not your faults. It's just a fad that's brewing. It's like how there is a remake to nearly every movie being prepared as we speak. Two weeks ago, movie studios never would have conceived any other ideas for versus movies. But, now that your movie is making a lot dough, all they can think of is the success, but not the logic of it all."

Jason Voorhees: "So true!"

Michael Myers: "Hell, what is making that dough is the personal wants of horror fans as they've awaited this film for over a decade. No one, not even me and Pinhead, have ever thought of Pinhead and I facing eachother in a grudge match. Now, Dimension Films, otherwise known as my evil step-parents, are trying to get Pinhead and I to do a versus movie together."

Freddy Krueger: "Is there anyway they can force you to do it? Can you and Pinhead stop them?"

Michael Myers: "I don't know. Dimension has never went this far, so it's hard to say."

Jason Voorhees: "Please don't hit me, but I think seeing you and Pinhead in action would be kind of cool."

Michael Myers: "Even so, that's not the point. I don't get involved in grudge matches. I kill off my family and those that interfere with that mission. I have no business messing with Pinhead."

Freddy Krueger: "That is so true. It hasn't even been two weeks yet, and the studios are already scheming up ways to override our success. This always happens. I don't want a movie like this to come up and bring down horror. Horror was brought down in 1989, and left in silence for several years after. I don't want something like that to happen again."

Jason Voorhees: "Me neither. Of all things, I want to be able to go back to Crystal Lake at least one more time and take care of trespassers on my land!"

Freddy Krueger: "I want to be plague Alice and her teenage son with one more nightmare!"

Michael Myers: "And, I want a Dimension-oriented 'Halloween' film that stays true to my series!"

-Freddy, Jason, and Michael, all shrug and start watching Michael's flat '60 TV.

THE END