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zombievictim

Episode Nine

Freddy vs. Jason

It took me a while to figure out how I was going to pull off this skit, but I did it. Yes, in this one, it is Freddy VS. Jason! But, they won't be trying kill eachother as much as they are in the movie. Afterall, this "vs." is what the skit series has been leading too, because of the pressure between Freddy and Jason over the "vs." factor of their upcoming movie (1 more day for us!). However, I wouldn't say that in the fight, Freddy and Jason would not go overboard as they try to beat the living hell out eachother and teach eachother a lesson! For newcomers, that's if you understand what I'm talking about above, just read the skit, just give the skit a chance and give it a read. You might get a kick out of it. Oh, and also for newcomers, this is a skit series where Freddy, Jason, Michael, and other horror icons chill in some pad like regular people in a surreal world. I've written 8 other skits like this, and the "story" they've been following has been leading up to this. Again though, Freddy and Jason are not trying to kill eachother. They're just trying to teach eachother a lesson, Krueger- and Voorhees-style. But, that's not to say that they don't trying to do so! Enjoy!

-Freddy and Jason with Michael at his pad watching late-night TV. Jason has the remote and is watching Comedy Central.

Jason Voorhees: "Ha ha ha, heh!"

Freddy Krueger: "Ha, ha, ha, very funny skit!"

Jason Voorhees: "Well, I think it's funny."

Freddy Krueger: "Of course you'll think its funny. Those actors, if that's what you call those slimeballs on Saturday Night Live, are mimicking us!"

Jason Voorhees: "They're going to. 'Jason vs. Freddy" is going to be released in 10 days, and New Line is doing a heck of a job advertising the movie."

Freddy Krueger: "Don't you mean, ahem, 'FREDDY vs. Jason'?"

Jason Voorhees: "Well, what can I say? At one point, the movie was called 'Jason vs. Freddy,' and all of sudden, they screwed me over and changed it."

Freddy Krueger: "They changed it, because I have the more prominent role in the movie."

Jason Voorhees: "Sure you do. That doesn't mean anything."

Freddy Krueger: "Jason, we've over this before, and I don't want to get into it again."

Jason Voorhees: "Whatever."

Freddy Krueger: "Besides, 'Freddy vs. Jason' sounds better than something like 'Jason vs. Freddy'."

Jason Voorhees: "Oh, really?!"

-Jason gets up and is about to attack Freddy, when Michael stops him.

Michael Myers: "Jason, relax! Sit!"

-Jason sighs and sits back down.

Michael Myers: "Be happy that they actually made your movie and that it comes out in a matter of days. Besides, what's the big deal with Freddy's name coming first in the title?"
Jason Voorhees: "It makes it seem too obvious who the winner is."

Michael Myers: "I don't know about that. His name coming first just makes it seem too obvious to be the winner. Besides, you'll brutalize Freddy!"

Jason Voorhees: "Hey, that's right!"

Freddy Krueger: "Hey!"

Michael Myers: "And you, Fred, will play games with Jason and trick him."

Freddy Krueger: "Yeah!"

Jason Voorhees: "Not if I brutalize him first!"

Freddy Krueger: "Oh, shut up, momma's boy!"

Jason Voorhees: "Bastard..."

Michael Myers: "Freddy! Jason! Shut up!"

-Jason sighs. Freddy snickers.

Michael Myers: "You guys can't keep fighting like this. One day, you'll get into a real fight and trash my pad or something."

Freddy Krueger: "No, we wouldn't. Jason would be asleep, and I'd be preying on him in a nightmare."

Michael Myers: "Yeah, but Jason would abound from the nightmare, and he would brutalize you here in reality, thus trashing my pad."

Jason Voorhees: "Yeah! Exactly!"

Michael Myers: "Then, I would beat the stuffing out of both of your asses for trashing my pad!"

-Jason turns to Freddy and snickers.

Freddy Krueger: "That means you too, momma's boy!"

Jason Voorhees: "Oh..."

Michael Myers: "So, please, Freddy, get off Jason's back."

Jason Voorhees: "Yeah!"
Michael Myers: "And, Jason, you should know better than to get manipulated by Freddy everytime."

-Freddy and Jason sit silent.

Michael Myers: "Get my point?"

Freddy Krueger: "Yeah."

Jason Voorhees: "Whatever."

Michael Myers: "Okay, then. I'll be out for a little while to get some more Molson Ice. I trust you too will be good?"

Freddy Krueger: "Yes."

Jason Voorhees: "Whatever."

Michael Myers: "What was that, Jason?"

Jason Voorhees: "Yes! Fine!"

Michael Myers: "Good!"

-Michael walks through what's left of his broken-up front door. A moment later, he turns the slides the key into the ignition of his Corvette, turns it, and roars the engine. He starts to drive away.

Jason Voorhees: "Man, Mike can quite a hard-ass sometimes."

Freddy Krueger: "Well, he did have a meeting with Moustapha Akkad and Dimension Video today."

Jason Voorhees: "Yeah."

Freddy Krueger: "And, he break through the front door to prove it."

Jason Voorhees: "He sure did."

Freddy Krueger: "He's right, you know."

Jason Voorhees: "About what?"

Freddy Krueger: "I do give you hard time sometimes."

Jason Voorhees: "So true! Like the time when you..."

Freddy Krueger: "Hey, don't push it!"

Jason Voorhees: "And, I should no better than to get manipulated by you."

Freddy Krueger: "Well, what can I say? I like to have my fun!"

Jason Voorhees: "And, I like to have my fun, too!"

Freddy Krueger: "Yeah."

Jason Voorhees: "Well, anyway, I'm going to have another Budweiser."

-Jason gets to get some beer.

Freddy Krueger: "Hey, get me one, too!"

Jason Voorhees: "Of course!"

-Jason runs off to get them beer. Meanwhile, Freddy grabs the remote control and goes up the channels. He changes up to channel USA as it is playing "Wes Craven't New Nightmare".

Freddy Krueger: "Cool!"

-Jason returns with the beers.

Jason Voorhees: "What?"

Freddy Krueger: " 'Wes Craven's New Nightmare' is on."

Jason Voorhees: "I don't think so!"

-Jason grabs the remote control from Freddy and changes back to Comedy Central.

Freddy Krueger: "Hey!"

Jason Voorhees: "Channel USA always plays 'Wes Craven's New Nightmare'! You watch it practically every night!"

-Freddy grabs the remote control from Jason and changes back channel USA.

Freddy Krueger: "And, you watch Comedy Central practically every night!"

Jason Voorhees: "No, I don't!"

-Jason tries to grab the remote control from Freddy, but Freddy resists.

Freddy Krueger: "Nice try, momma's boy!"

-Jason tries to grab the remote control again, but this time gets it and changes back to Comedy Central.

Jason Voorhees: "Ha!"

Freddy Krueger: "Oh, I don't think so!"

-Freddy gets up and is about to attack Jason when a 'Freddy vs. Jason' preview plays on Comedy Central. Freddy sits back down in astonishment.

Preview: "Freddy Krueger..."

Freddy Krueger: "That's me!"

Preview: "...Jason Voorhees..."

Jason Voorhees: "Hey, that's me!"

Preview: "...Two of the biggest name in terror..."

Freddy Krueger: "Oh yeah, 'Jason' is the first thing I think of when I think of terror!"

Jason Voorhees: "It's not like you were so terrifying in 'Freddy's Dead'!"

Preview: "...come to face to face in the years biggest battle..."

Freddy Krueger: "That's right!"

Jason Voorhees: "Hell, yeah!"

Preview: Freddy is releasing rockets at a charging Jason.

Freddy Krueger: "Hey, that's me releasing rockets at you!"

Preview: Jason is shown throwing Freddy in the distance of the Crystal Lake area.

Jason Voorhees: "Well, that's me throw you across the my turf! I sure showed you!"

-Preview ends.

Freddy Krueger: "Well, it's nice to know that our movie is being marketed well."

Jason Voorhees: "Not like the hack job marketing of 'Jason X' last year."

Freddy Krueger: "That's for sure."

-Jason drinks from his budweiser. He gulps it down, slams the bottle breaking it, and burps.

Freddy Krueger: "You alright?"

Jason Voorhees: "Oh, I'm fine. *Burp*"

Freddy Krueger: "Are you drunk?"

Jason Voorhees: "*Burp* Uh, I'm not!"

Freddy Krueger: "Sure you aren't!"

Jason Voorhees: "Whatever."

Freddy Krueger: "At least Michael already broke through the door for you!"

Jason Voorhees: "Hey! Don't take shots at me! Since when do I break through the front door of Michael's pad?"

Freddy Krueger: "Every other night when you're drunk!"

Jason Voorhees: "Why you!"

-Jason is about to attack Freddy, but Freddy gets up and gets out of Jason's way.

Freddy Krueger: "You're obviously drunk, and I'm not going to get in the way of it and trash Michael's pad."

Jason Voorhees: "Oh, yeah?!"

Freddy Krueger: "Yeah!"

Jason Voorhees: "You know what I think? I think you're chicken! You're afraid to fight me!"

Freddy Krueger: "I'm in no way afraid of you! I just can't fight when you're in this state!"

Jason Voorhees: "Sure. You also know what I think? You're a bastard son!"

Freddy Krueger: "You don't mean that! You're drunk, and I've seen you drunk plenty of other times to know that."

Jason Voorhees: "Oh yeah? How about this?"

-Jason tries to attack Freddy, but Freddy gets out the way, leaving Jason to knock over the TV and break it.

Freddy Krueger: "See what you did? You smashed Mike's TV! He's going to kill you now!"

Jason Voorhees: "Not if I kill you first!"

-Jason tries to attack Freddy again, but Freddy gets out of the way, leaving Jason to trip over the couch.

Jason Voorhees: "Ow!"

-Jason gets up.

-Freddy Krueger: "See! You're too drunk to even fight!"

Jason Voorhees: "I don't know about that!"

-Jason tries to attack Freddy. Freddy tries to get out of the way, but Jason gets this time square in the jaw, leaving Freddy to fall over the couch. Freddy gets up.

Freddy Krueger: "I can't believe you just hit me!"

Jason Voorhees: "And, I will hit you again!"

-Jason tries to attack Freddy again, but Freddy gets out the way grabs hold of Jason's arms and holds back behind him.

Freddy Krueger: "I'm not going to fight you right now, even if you hit me."

-Freddy continues holding Jason's arm behind him and walks him to the next room. He closes the door and slides a chair under the door knob to keep Jason from getting out.

Jason Voorhees: "Let me out!"

Freddy Krueger: "I don't think so!"

Jason Voorhees: "Oh, you're so going to get it!"

Freddy Krueger: "Actually, you'll eventually fall asleep from your drunkenness and you'll wake up remembering nothing that happened. Good night, Jason!"

Jason Voorhees: "Oh, you're so getting to going to get it!"
Freddy Krueger: "Sure!"

Jason Voorhees: "You what I think? You're a coward, and you're a bastard for playing in 'Freddy's Dead'! That movie sucked ass!"

-Freddy doesn't respond, but has a stern look on his face. Meanwhile, Jason struggles to open the door, but he can't. He eventually walks up a mirror in that next room. For a moment, he poses imitating Freddy.

Jason Voorhees: "Hey, I'm Freddy! I'm a big posse! I'm also a bastard..."

-Suddenly Freddy breaks through the mirror attack Jason and leaving them to break through the wall into the next room.

Jason Voorhees: "Whoa!"
-Jason gets up and looks around. He is now in a boiler room. He is standing on a catwalk with side railings. The catwalk leads to other catwalks, and ladders leading to other floors of catwalks. The catwalks on the side of the big boiler room lead to walls leading to dead ends. All around the boiler room is smoke and mist. As for Freddy, he is gone, or somewhere else. Jason realizes what happened. He had fallen asleep from his drunkenness. He had angered Freddy, and he pitted him in a nightmare. Essentially asleep, he is now his regular sober self. With a machete in his hand, Jason starts to cautiously walk up the catwalk. He hears Freddy laughing in the distance.

Freddy: "Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha!"

-Jason, now stepping by a dead end, walks by an open pipe on the wall. As he passes it, smoky gas suddenly spits out of it, nearly pushing Jason over the catwalk. At the same time, he hears the Freddy laughing at him for it.

Freddy: "Ha, ha, ha, heh!"

-Jason regains his footing and cautiously ducks under the pipe openings as he passes them. Jason has now reached a four-way pass of catwalks. Looking ahead of him, Jason sees the catwalk leading up to a room. Starting to walk towards the room, Jason walks through the misty intersecting catwalk. As he does, he suddenly is scratched on his sides by claws. Freddy's claws! Jason gets out of the intersecting catwalk and looks at the tears on his shirt and flesh. He hears Freddy's laughing in the distance.

Freddy: "Ha, ha! Gotcha!"

-Jason is starting to get angry. Freddy ruined his good shirt! Jason charges toward the room the catwalk leads to. As he does, he sees the room moving at the same time, as if the catwalk was increasing as he walked. Jason stops, and the catwalk stops. Jason starts moving again, and the catwalk increases again. Jason was walking towards the room, but he wasn't getting any closer. He hears Freddy in the distance.

Freddy Krueger: "Funny, isn't it? Objects in mirror aren't closer than they appear! Or in this case, room in sight isn't closer than it appears! Ha, ha!"

-Jason, getting frustrated, charges toward the room. This time, he actually gets closer to it. As he does, he tightly grips the machete in his hand. As he walks into the room, a opening pipe at the wall spits out smoky gas at Jason, nearly knocking him over. He hears Freddy's laughing in the distance, as he regains his footing.

Freddy Krueger: "Ha, ha!"

-Jason looks around the room. Nothing but a metal catwalk floor with and entrances on the side and back walls. Suddenly, Freddy walks out of the back entrance.

Freddy Krueger: "Welcome to my nightmare...momma's boy!"

-Jason breathes heavily.

Freddy Krueger: "Ah, a little angry, I suppose? It's not like you haven't been looking forward to this. Whatever this is. This fight."

-Freddy disappears into the entrance of the back wall. Jason follows him into the back entrance, leading to hallway with pipes going down the walls. Freddy scratches the pipes, causing a smokey gas to leak out. His claws also cause an irritating noise. Jason follows the noise through the misty and smoky atmosphere of the hallway. Jason walks to the end of the hallway. The hallway leads out to the same boiler room area he was first in. Seeing the catwalks that follow into the misty several-floored boiler room, Jason walks down the main catwalk. As he crosses a misty and intersecting catwalk, he feels Freddy's claws scratching him at his sides. He hears Freddy's laughing down the right side of the intersecting catwalk.

Freddy Krueger: "Ha, ha!"

-Jason walks down the right side of that intersecting catwalk following Freddy's laughing. As he walks down the sidewalk, Freddy comes out of nowhere hanging on a chain from the ceiling. Freddy knocks Jason over the catwalk railings.

Freddy Krueger: "Gotcha!"

-Jason starts to fall down the three stories of the boiler room. Jason grabs the railings of a catwalk on the second flooring of catwalks. Jason climbs up the railings, and lifts himself up onto the catwalk and looks around. No sight of Freddy. Suddenly, he hears Freddy' laughing down the catwalk.

Freddy Krueger: "Ha, ha!"

-Jason follows the laughing down the catwalk. Eventually, the catwalk leads out to a hallway, and eventually, the hallway leads to a dead end. Jason stops with nowhere to go. Silence. Jason looks around the misty hallyway. Suddenly, Freddy pops up through the floor and slices Jason's back with his claws. Jason turns around, and grabs Freddy by his throat and slams him against the dead-end wall. With the machete in hand, Jason is about to do his thing.

Freddy Krueger: "Is this what all this aggression leads up to? One quick shot of slicing and dicing? I don't think so!"

-Freddy pokes Jason's eye. Jason lets go of Freddy, leaving Freddy to disappear down the hallway. Jason, regaining from the soreness of Freddy's attack, goes down the hallway. Now back on the catwalk, Jason looks around not seeing Jason in sight. Suddenly, Freddy at the outside of the right railing surprises Jason, and throws him over the catwalk. Jason falls and lands on a hard cement floor at the very bottom of the boiler room. For a moment, he's motionless. Finally, he starts to get up. Of all things, a fall was not going to stop him! He gets ups and looks around. Seeing a ladder on the wall behind him, he starts climbing up. Climbing up the ladder, Jason reaches the first floor of catwalks. He continues up to the second floor of catwalks, then to the third. As he reaches the third floor of catwalks, the third floor starts moving. The ladder was increasing as he climbed up. He was moving, but not getting any closer. Instead, Jason reaches for the floor of the third floor. Now hanging from the third floor, he climbs up the railing of the catwalk and hurls himself over the railing and onto the catwalk. He looks around and sees no sight of Freddy. He hears Freddy's laughing down the catwalk.

Freddy Krueger: "Ha, ha! You're starting to disappoint me. You can't keep up with me. Oh, that's right, I can't even keep up with myself!"

-Jason starts charging down the catwalk to Freddy's voice.

Freddy Krueger: "Closer...closer...closer..."

-Jason continues down the catwalk and into a misty hallway with smoky gas spitting coming out of the opening pipes going down the walls.

Freddy Krueger: "...Closer...closer...closer...stop!"

-Jason was now in another room with entrance at the side and back walls. Freddy is there in the room waiting for him.

Freddy Krueger: "Oh, all the trouble I put through. Go, ahead, give me your worst.

-Jason charges toward Freddy ready to attack him, but he disappears at last minute. Jason hears Freddy behind him.

Freddy Krueger: "Here I am!"

-Jason turns around and charges toward Freddy again. Freddy disappears again at last minute of Jason's attack. Jason turns around, but sees no one this time. Then, three Freddy's walk out of the side and back entrances of the room, one from each entrance. The three Freddy's join up.

Freddy Krueger #1: "Now, this isn't fair, is it?"

Freddy Krueger #2: "I don't think so. It's three against one!"

Freddy Krueger #3: "Oh, it's fair alright. I mean, you two are me!"

-The three Freddy's start surrounding Jason.

Freddy Krueger #1: "What are you going to do now?"

Freddy Krueger #2: "You're superstrength equals us put together."

Freddy Krueger #3: "We'll see!"

-The surrounding Freddy's circle Jason. Freddy #1 scratches Jason with his claws.

Freddy Krueger #1: "How's that?"

-Freddy #2 scratches Jason his claws.

Freddy Krueger #2: "I don't know about you, but that I'm feeling itchy!"

-Freddy #3 is about to attack Jason, when Jason grabs him and throws across the room. Freddy #3 hits the back wall and falls to the ground. Freddy's #1 and 2 stop. Jason, charges toward them, and with quick arms, grabs the both of them and slams their heads eachother crunching them, bloodily. Jason lets go of the two Freddy's, and their bodies flail to the ground. Jason, feeling satisfied, turns around only to see that the last Freddy disappeared from the room. Jason hears Freddy's laughing in the distance from the entrance of the back wall.

Freddy Krueger: "Ha, ha!"

-Jason follows the laughing through entrance and finds himself onto a single catwalk leading out to a ending platform over a huge barrel of toxic waste. Jason walks out to the platform not seeing any sign of Freddy. Jason looks around only to see mist appear around him. Within the mist, he hears Freddy's snickering.

Freddy Krueger: "He, he, he."

-Jason walks around the mist, being prepared to attack Freddy with his machete if he sees him. He hears more of Freddy's snickering.

Freddy Krueger: "Heh, heh, heh."

-Following the snickering, Jason grips his machete tightly. Suddenly, Freddy surprise-attacks Jason from behind him. Jason turns around and swings his machete to hit Freddy, but Freddy stops it from hitting him by grabbing the sharp end of the machete. Freddy and Jason struggle with the machete going around in circles.

Freddy Krueger: "You didn't think this would be that easy, do you?"

-Freddy and Jason continue to struggle with the machete until they fall off the misty platform. They had fallen over the end of the platform, but Jason grabbed the edge, leaving Freddy holding onto Jason. The mist disappears as it appears that Freddy and Jason were hanging over the huge barrel of toxic waste.

Freddy Krueger: "Now, this is a tricky situation, isn't it?"

-Jason, with both hands grasping the edge of the platform, tries to climp up and reach the top, but Freddy keeps him from doing so by climbing him. Freddy climbs up Freddy's legs and back with claws and all.

Freddy Krueger: "Thanks for your help me up, good 'ol buddy."

-Freddy climbs up Jason and makes on to the platform. With Jason hanging over the platform, Freddy taunts Jason.

Freddy Krueger: "How's it hanging?"

-Jason starts to climp reach up the platform and get up, but Freddy keeps him from doing so. Sitting at the platform, Freddy starts letting loose his fingers off of the edge. Freddy lets loose, Jason thumb of his left hand off the platform.

Freddy Krueger: "One piggy went out to the market to be buthchered..."

-Freddy lets loose Jason's one finger finger of his left hand.

Freddy Krueger: "...Another piggy went off to be driven over..."

-Freddy lets loose Jason's second finger of his left hand.

Freddy Krueger: "...Another piggy was meant with a grisly fate with an ax..."

-Freddy lets loose Jason's third finger of his left hand.

Freddy Krueger: "...Another piggy was slaughtered..."

-Freddy lets loose Jason's last finger of his left hand.

Freddy Krueger: "And, that last piggy stayed home only to die in his sleep."

-Jason was now hanging only by his right hand. Freddy starts for his right hand.

Freddy Krueger: "Now, the other hand."

-As Freddy is about to start letting loose the fingers of Jason's right hand, Jason lets loose his middle finger to stick up at Freddy. Before Freddy has a chance to react to it, Jason grabs his machete from his side, and stabs it right into Freddy's chest. Jason takes the opportunity to climb back onto the platform. He sees Freddy with his the machete sticking right through his stomach.

Freddy Krueger: "Good one..."

-Freddy sticks the machete out, and his stabbed stomach restores itself.

Freddy Krueger: "...But, it's not enough to be bring me down!"

-Throwing the machete aside, Freddy lashes out at Jason. Jason attacks Freddy, and with a mighty swing of his fist, punches him across the platform. Freddy slides nearly to the edge of the platform. Getting up. his punched-through chest is revealed and then restores itself.

Freddy Krueger: "Now, that hurt, I got to admit."

-Freddy punches Jason in the chest. Jason punches back.

Freddy Krueger: "Ow!"

-Suddenly, Freddy's arms become more muscle-bound.

Freddy Krueger: "I got an upgrade!"

-Freddy, with his muscle-bound arm and gloved fist, punches Jason across the platform. Jason slides all the way to the end of the platform and falls over, but not before grasping the edge. Freddy walks up to the end of the platform.

Freddy Krueger: "Is that all you have to offer?"

-Jason suddenly gets up and kicks Freddy across the platform. Getting himself up back onto the platform, he charges toward Freddy and punches him a several stomach, rotating around the platform. Freddy enjoys the beating.

Freddy Krueger: "Ow! Ow! Ow! Aw! Aw! Aw! Yes!"

-Jason continues to aggressively punch the living daylights out of Freddy.

Freddy Krueger: "Aw! Aw! Aw! Yes! More! Give me more!"

-Suddenly, Freddy, with his muscle-bound arm and gloved fist hits Jason, Jason regains his footing and takes the hits.

Freddy Krueger: "How do you like that? A taste of your own medicine!"

-Jason takes Freddy's punches, but starts ducking them, going back and forth. Finally, he starts punching Freddy back. Jason puts in all his aggression and punches the living daylights out of Freddy.

Freddy Krueger: "Ow! Aw! Yes! More!"

-Now, nearing the end of the platform, Jason throws more punches. In defense, Freddy punches back at Jason nearing away from the end of the platform. Jason gets back at Freddy and punches him back, nearing the end of the platform."

Freddy Krueger: "More! More!"

-Directly at the end of the platform, Jason throws one more punch at Freddy. Freddy takes it, and starts to fall over. As a last resort, Freddy grabs Jason's legs. Jason falls over the end of the platform. Jason grabs the edge of the platform as a last resort with his right hand. Freddy starts climbing up Jason to get back to platform. However, Jason grabs the machete hanging over the edge of the platform, and stabs Freddy with it. The dangling and stabbed Freddy falls but not before grabbing Jason leg again, a transaction that causes Jason to loose his gripping with the edge. Freddy and Jason fall from two stories to fall into a huge barrel of toxic waste.

Freddy Krueger: "See you in hell!"
-From the fall into the toxic waste, Jason struggles out of the surface only to see the night sky. Jason swims around realizing he is in his lake by the woods of Crystal Lake. He was home! But, it is really another part of the nightmare Freddy pitted him in. Jason sinking to the bottom of the lake starts walking up the deepness of the lake and eventually over the shallow coast of it. His head rises, and eventually his whole body. Rising out of the water and walking on dry land, Jason looks around the woods in front of him. Suddenly, he hears Freddy's laughing in the distance.

Freddy Krueger: "Ha, ha, ha, ha, heh!"

-Jason follows the laughing into the woods of Crystal Lake. He walks by trees and brushes, and as he does, some trees fall over as Jason walks by, him missing him by an inch. Jason continues to hear Freddy's laughing in the distance.

Freddy Krueger: "Ha, ha, ha, ha, heh!"

-Eventually, Jason finds himself at a particular section of trees all lined of perfectly with the same several feet between them. Jason stops. Seeing movement in the distance. Suddenly, Freddy steps out from behind one of the lined-up trees.

Freddy Krueger: "Miss me?"

-Jason starts charging towards Freddy.

Freddy Krueger: "This is going to be good!"

-As Jason continues to charge toward Freddy, he gets out his machete from his side.

Freddy Krueger: "Closer...closer...closer..."

-Suddenly, as Jason is charging towards Freddy, everything else is moving with him. He was moving toward Freddy, but not getting any closer. Jason stops, and everything else stops. Then, he starts moving again, and everything else seems to movie with him, as he is getting in no way closer to Freddy.

Freddy Krueger: "It's a great trick, I know!"

-Jason stops again, as does everything else. He, again, charges toward Freddy, this time, getting closer. As he gets closer, he grips his machete tightly.

Freddy Krueger: "Closer...closer..."

-Now feet away from Freddy, Jason charges more toward him ready to attack him, but Freddy disappears last minute. Jason swings the machete, but only hits the air around him. Jason hears Freddy behind him.

Freddy Krueger: "Over here!"

-Jason turns around seeing Freddy several yards behind him. He charges towards him. As he does, the trees around him start tumbling over missing Jason by inches. Freddy snickers.

Freddy Krueger: "Heh, heh, heh, heh..."

-Jason continues to charge toward Jason, and as he does, the trees from left to right, continue to tumble over behind him.

Freddy Krueger: "Closer...closer...closer..."

-Only a few feet away from Freddy, Jason tightens his grip on his machete. Reaching Freddy, he swings his machete at him, but Freddy only keeps it from hitting it by grabbing its sharp end. Freddy and Jason struggle with the machete for a moment before Jason wins over it, and with a mighty swing, hits Freddy. However, at last minute, Freddy turns into one of the trees, so Jason only swung his machete at the tree. Freddy and his games. Suddenly, Jason hears Freddy's laughing in the distance.

Freddy Krueger: "Ha, ha, ha, ha, heh!"

-Jason follows the laughing passing trees that only tumble over behind him. Suddenly, Jason sees movement in the distance. Following that movement, it leads him to a huge tree, where he hears crackling behind. Jason moves closer towards it, when suddenly one of his old victims comes out from behind it. This victim is a male rolling out in a wheel chair with a machete in his face. This victim (#1) grabs the machete form his face revealing the bloody opening cut in his face.

Victim #1: "Remember me? You macheted me in the face in 'Friday The 13th Part 2'. And, I was about to get laid!"

-More victims follow, one with his throat slit and bleeding, another, a couple walking awkwardly stuck together with a spear sticking through their bodies, a woman with a machete sticking through her stomach, and another with a machete in the face. Another victim approachs Jason. This victim (#2) has a tree branch slammed into his face and has an arm missing.

Victim #2: "Remember me? You slammed my face into a tree branch and inadvertently tore off my arm!"

-More victims follow, one with a big hole in his stomach and heart missing, another with a knife slammed into his head, another, and a man with a crunched, bloody head. Then, a victim (#3), a man with his body cut open and holding a hedge-trimmer approached Jason.

Victim #3: "Remember me? You hedge-trimmed me in the stomach!"

-More victims follow, one a woman with a machete through her throat, another, a male with a machete open wound in the face via machete, another, a male with a hole punched through his stomach, and a female with an ax in her face. Freddy is the last to step out from behind the tree.

Freddy Krueger: "Wow. I gotta tell ya. I love your handiwork."

-All the vicims start to surround Jason. As they do they cover up Jason, leaving him to fend them off desperately. Suddenly, Jason bursts up, and the victims fall back. Jason rises, and taking the machete from one of the male victim's faces, machetes his head off and machetes off the brains of the female with the machete in her chest. Before her body flails to the ground, Jason grabs the machete from her stomach, and with a machete in each hand, machetes the heads off another two victims. As Jason does, their blood sprays off eachother. Double-macheting the heads off of the stuck-couple, he grabs the headless woman and sticks her body into the spear. Freddy watches with astonishment.

Freddy Krueger: "Whoa!"

-Then, Jason kicks the three bodies off the spear, and spears the wheelchair-bound male in the stomach. Rolling the wheel Chair, Jason trips the remaining victims with the spear.

Freddy Krueger: "Ha, ha, ha, ha! That was good!"

-As two of the victims get up, Jason grabs their heads and slams them against eachother, crushing them bloodily. Seeing the victim with the open wound in the face, Jason grabs both ends of the wound, and tears it open even more. And grabbing the victim with the tree-stump in his head, Jason grabs the tree stump, slams it into further into his head and brains.

Freddy Krueger: "Whoa!"

-Seeing the victim with the slit throat, Jason grabs his head, and tears it off backwards off his head. With just a couple victims left, Jason triple-machetes three victims. With the last vicim being the guy with open wound in the stomach, Jason grabs the hedge trimmer from him, and cuts his body open completely with his blood and guts spurting out. Satisfied, Jason turns to Freddy.

Freddy Krueger: "No wonder you have a bigger body count than me! But now, it's time for your turn!"

-Freddy lashes at Jason, and sticks his claws into Jason's stomach in attempt to tear his flesh. But, Jason grabs the bloody claw from his wound, and throws Freddy against a tree. Freddy gets up and Jason charges toward him, with a machete in each hand. Freddy grabs machetes from some of Jason's victims, and charges toward Jason. Freddy and Jason charge toward eachother, with machete's in their hands. Upon interaction, Jason tries to machete Freddy, but Freddy fights back hitting Jason's machetes with his, as if they were sword fighing. Freddy continues to swordfight, with Jason's machetes until Jason finally gets a machete in Freddy's stomach. Jason takes that machete and tears the side of his body with it. In defense, Freddy, machetes Jason in the stomach. Jason taking the pain, pulls the machete out of his stomach, and machetes Freddy's arm off. Freddy, with his remaining arm, machetes Jason in the stomach again, and tears the one side with it, Jason tries to take the pain, and pull it out, but Freddy takes another machete and slams into Jason's stomach, and tears up the other side of his body with it. Growing weak, Jason flails to the ground. Freddy backs away, pulling the machetes out of his stomach.

Freddy Krueger: "No...I didn't."

-For a moment, Jason lays motionless on the ground. Finally, he lifts his arm, grabs the one machete in the stomach and struggles to lift it out it of it. Slowly, Jason gets the machete out of his stomach. Then, he continues to do so with the other machete. As does so, Nancy and Alice from the 'A Nightmare on Elm Street' movies sneak up on Freddy and hold his arms behind his back.

Freddy Krueger: "How are you two in this nightmare? I didn't dream about you."

Nancy: "We didn't have to."

Alice: "We dreamt about you!"

-Jason, pulling the other machete out of his stomach, slowly rises and gets up. Jason cracks his back and knuckles and walks toward the now-captured Freddy like nothing ever happened.

Nancy: "Go ahead, Jason. Get him!"

Alice: "Yeah! He's all yours!"

-Jason, with the two machetes in hand, drops them, and grabs Freddy, only to toss him aside. He then turns to Nancy and Alice in a "I don't need help" manner, and with quick hands, grabs their heads, and slams them together, crushing them bloodily. Nancy and Alice's body's flail to the ground. Jason turns to Freddy, who's now up.

Freddy Krueger: "I can't believe you just did that!"

-Grabbing the two machetes, Jason charges towards Freddy. With quick hands, he machetes Freddy in the stomach and tears up the sides of his body. Jason means serious business!

Freddy Krueger: "Ow! No!"

-Whipping the machetes out of Freddy's body, Jason uses them to cut off his arms.

Freddy Krueger: "My arms!"

-Jason drops the machetes, picks up Freddy's body, and cracks it out of shape, and tosses his body aside. Freddy is motionless for a moment, but then slowly rises. Freddy gets up moaning in pain, his body completely out of shape and with no arms.

Freddy Krueger: "Ow!"

-Freddy walks around a tree with his body out of shape, but comes around the other side back in his regular shape. Freddy snickers.

Freddy Krueger: "You didn't think it was going to be that easy, did you? In your dreams, you can't kill me. It's my own fantasy world where I rule!"

-Freddy walks around the other side of the tree with muscle-bound arms and gloved fists.

Freddy Krueger: "Now, where were we?"

-Freddy charges toward Jason. Jason charges toward Freddy. They charge toward eachother, and in the interaction, Freddy starts off punching Jason. Jason takes the punches, and fights back. He blocks Freddy's punches and aggressively punches Freddy.

Freddy Krueger: "Ow! Ow! Aw! Aw! Yes! More!"

-Finally, Freddy blocks Jason's punches and throws mean punches at Jason. Jason takes them, maintaining his holding, but eventually, Freddy throws a mean punch that sends Jason across the distance against a tree. Jason hits the tree and falls to the ground. He gets up, and charges toward Freddy. The interaction has Jason aggressively punching Freddy. Freddy tries to block, but almost can't handle the punches Jason has to offer.

Freddy Krueger: "Ow! Ow! No! No!"

-Finally, Jason punches Freddy sending him across the distance. Jason follows to where Freddy's body lays. Freddy rises, and throws a mean punch at Jason. Jason blocks that punch, takes Freddy, and throws him against a tree head first. Freddy lays motionless. Jason goes to get a machete. But, Freddy rises, catches up with Jason, and pays him back. He punches the living daylights out of him. Jason tries to block, but is almost not taking the punches.

Freddy Krueger: "How's that, Jason?!"

-Freddy throws one more swing at Jason, sending him several yards across the distance. Jason lays motionless in a ditch. Freddy walks around the tree, and comes out the other side with his arms back to normal. Taking the opportunity, Freddy, with his supernatural abilities, pushes over a tree. The tree falls over knocking down others like dominoes. Eventually, these tumbling trees lead one to cover up the ditch Jason's body lays, crushing it and him. Freddy goes to another row of trees, pushes over one of them, and all of them start to fall over like dominoes. Eventually, these tumbling trees cause another tree to fall over the ditch and crush Jason's body. Silence.

Freddy Krueger: "I've done it. I've killed Jason. I can't believe it."

-More silence.

Freddy Krueger: "No. I didn't. I just killed Jason!"

-Suddenly, a crackling is heard within the trees crushing the ditch were Jason was.

Freddy Krueger: "No!"

-More crackling is heard within the trees.

Freddy Krueger: "No! It can't be! I killed him!"

-More crackling is heard. Finally, Freddy sees the two trees covering up the ditch crackle apart as Jason breaks through them.

Freddy Krueger: "No! No!

-Jason rises from the trees and turns to Freddy in an angry manner.

Freddy Krueger: "No! This can't be happening!"

-Jason grabs a machete and starts charging towards Freddy.

Freddy Krueger: "I, uh, gotta do something!"

-Jason continues to charge towards Freddy.

Freddy Krueger: "I, uh, have to fend for myself!"
 
-Freddy grabs a machete and starts to charge toward Jason. As Jason charges toward Freddy, he tightens his grip on his machete. Freddy and Jason charge toward eachother and attack. Their interaction not only cause Jason to wake up from the nightmare, but it causes Freddy and Jason to break through from the roof of Michael's pad from the room Jason was in, and crashland outside. Freddy slowly rises. He waits for Jason to get up. Jason eventually rises, and turns to Freddy in a "I'm not done with you yet" manner. He is still angry! Jason charges toward Freddy. Freddy walks away fearing Jason.

Freddy: "Jason, you shouldn't do this. That was a nightmare. You're now awake from that nightmare."

-Jason is still charging towards Freddy. Freddy walks away and runs into the front of Michael's pad. Jason charges towards him ready to attack. Freddy tries to get out of the way, but Jason grabs him and slams him against Michael's pad. The interaction causes Freddy to break through the front wall of Michael's pad.

Freddy Krueger: "Ow! Jeez! Jason, you seriously shouldn't be doing this. I'm sorry I pit you in that nightmare. You know it was all for fun, right?"

-Jason grabs Freddy and throws across Michael's pad, leaving Freddy to break through the wall into the kitchen.

Freddy Krueger: "Dude, I'm sorry! I really am! I know things got intense in that nightmare, but we both came out okay, didn't we? We're both still in one piece!"

Jason Voorhees: "Not anymore, are you!"

-Jason whips out his machete and is about to attack Freddy with it. Freddy does all that he can do to save his ass. He gets out of the way of Jason's swing. It causes Jason to crash into the refrigerator opening up its door. Jason gets out of the fridge, picks his machete, and turns to Freddy. However, Freddy is not to be seen. Instead, Freddy slams the fridge's door shut, leaving Jason's head stuck in it. And, Freddy takes the opportunity to knock the refrigerator over. The fridge falls over, door first, crushing Jason's neck. Jason's body is now motionless as his neck is crushed between the knocked over the refridgerator and its door. Freddy looks astonished.

Freddy Krueger: "What have I done?"

-But, Jason is not done yet! His arms move up to the refrigerator, and amazingly lift the refrigerator up, leaving it and the its door to open more. Jason ducks his head out of the way of the refrigerator, and lets the knocked-over refridgerator drop and close with its door.

Freddy Krueger: "Whew!"

-Freddy gets out of the kitchen and sits on the couch to relax.

Freddy Krueger: "He's okay. Thank goodness."

-Suddenly, Jason runs from kitchen and tackles Freddy knocking him over the couch. Jason's still angry!

Freddy Krueger: "Ow! Jason!"

-Jason grabs Freddy and throws him across the pad, causing him to break through the wall of the next room and to the outside of Michael's pad. Freddy struggles to get up. Jason appears and grabs Freddy and slams him against the pad.

Freddy Krueger: "Jason, stop! You gotta stop this now! You're trashing Michael's pad!"

-Jason continues to attack Freddy. While having Freddy slammed against Michael's pad, Jason starts to strangle Freddy. Freddy struggles to breathe and talk.

Freddy Krueger: "Jason, what are you doing? Relax, man!"

-Freddy does the only thing he can do. He struggles out of Jason's strangling hold, leaving Jason's strangling hands to end up breaking into the electricity box outside of Michael's pad, leaving Jason to get electrocuted. For a moment, Jason is electrocuted. His body takes all of the buzz from the electricity box. Finally, his body flails to the ground. Silence. Motionless. Freddy looks in astonishment.

Freddy Krueger: "No! He can't be...No!"

-Not surprisingly, Jason rises once more. He gets up, turns to Freddy and follows him.

Freddy Krueger: "No! Jason! Stop what you are doing. You're awake from the nightmare. The fight is over. It is a draw! You hard to beat. And, so am I. We are both indestructible!"

-Jason continues after Freddy, limping.

Freddy Krueger: "Jason, you're hurt. You're actually hurt. Stop this! Stop now!"

-Jason continues after Freddy.

Freddy Krueger: "Jason! Please!"

-Jason grabs the machete from his side and raises it to swing.

Freddy Krueger: "Jason! Stop! Please!"

-Jason, about to attack, drops the machete from his hands, and falls over.

Jason Voorhees: "What am I doing?"

Freddy Krueger: "It's alright. It's over."

-Freddy and Jason look at the Michael's pad in astonishment. It is trashed! It's front and side walls were broken through, the inside walls are broken through, the kitchen is trashed, and most of the roof has caved in.

Freddy Krueger: "I can't believe it. We actually trashed Michael's pad!"

Jason Voorhees: "How are we ever going to make up for this?"

-Suddenly, they hear a roar from an engine as a Corvette parks nearby. Michael is home!

Freddy Krueger: "Oh, man! It's time to let the fat lady sing!

Jason Voorhees: "Oh, shit!"

-Michael steps out of Corvette and takes a good look at the scene.

Freddy Krueger: "Uh, Mike..."

-Michael drops the beer he bought. The beer bottles fall to the ground and shatter. the beer itself spills out a reddish color in the darkness of the moon. Michael stands motionless for a moment, a moment that seems like forever for Freddy and Jason.

Jason Voorhees: "What do we do?"

Freddy Krueger: "Shh!"

-Finally, Michael shows signs of his life. He turns his head in a tilting manner from his trashed pad to Freddy and Jason.

Freddy Krueger: "Uhh..."

-Finally, Michael starts charging towards Freddy and Jason. He charges towards them in a furious manner.

Jason Voorhees: "Oh, shit!"

-Michael is charging towards them in an "I told you so" manner ready to teach them a lesson, Myers-style!

THE END


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