-Freddy, Jason, and Michael step to the entrance of Pinhead's Club. It is a big, dark rectangular building, two stories high. Over the second story at the entrance is a giant figure of Pinhead's head, with the pins flickering assorted bright lights. Above the head are big letter's - PINHEAD's. All around the outside of the club, flickering bright lights abound like a path around the first and second story.

Jason Voorhees: "Cool!"

Michael Myers: "Pinhead has really worked hard on this place. I remember this Club being completely trashed."

Freddy Krueger: "Wasn't there a massacre?"

Michael Myers: "Yeah, I think so. It happened several years ago. People were hung from chains and their skin was torn apart. No one dared to re-open it until recently when Pinhead leased it."

Jason Voorhees: "Hmm..."

Freddy Krueger: "Weren't there attempts to re-open it? I read something about that somewhere."

Michael Myers: "Yes, but the buyers wound up killed. They were always found the next day hanging from chains with their skin torn apart."

Jason Voorhees: "Why does that sound so familiar?"

-Pinhead greets Freddy, Jason, and Michael at the entrance.

Pinhead: "Fred, Jason, Mike, welcome to my private hell!"

Michael Myers: "Pinhead, great job on rebuilding this place. It used to be trashed."

Pinhead: "Yes, what happened to it before is truly horrific. But, someone had to eventually do something with it. Come, I'll show around."

-Pinheads starts leading Freddy, Jason, and Michael into his club.

Jason Voorhees: "Wait a minute. Weren't you the one who..."

Pinhead: "Come on, Jason!"

-Pinhead shows Freddy, Jason, and Michael the inside of his club. Inside is a huge, dark room lit by bright lights going around the wall. Along the back and side walls are bars, where Pinhead's cenobites serve as bartenders. Around the bars, are tables where assorted people gather and drink to their heart's content. In the middle of the room is a huge dance floor, where several people are dancing. A few chains are seen hanging from the ceiling with blood dripping off.
Pinhead: "As you can see, I have set up this first floor quite well."

Freddy Krueger: "What's with the chains?"

Pinhead: "Oh, well, having set up this club for nearly a week, one learns how often minors try to sneak in and use fake I.D.'s."

Freddy Krueger: "Oh..."

Pinhead: "And, set up on the second floor is my private dining hall where I treat my important guests. Come, I will show you."

-Pinhead is about to show Freddy, Jason, and Michael the dining hall, when a cenobite comes up to Pinhead. The cenobite is short, wearing a slick, black, rubber suit, and has several rings over his face, which when all twisted around, has his face stretching out twistedly over his head. He is not a pretty sight.

Stretched-skinned cenobite: "Sir, some punk is using a fake I.D."

Pinhead: "So?"

Stretched-skinned cenobite: "So, what do I do?"

Pinhead: "What do you mean what to do you do? You're a cenobite. You're supposed to do something horrible to the guy! You have rings all over your face. Why don't just the pierce the punk to death?!"

-The cenobite is confused.

Stretched-skinned cenobite: "Huh?"

Pinhead: "Never mind. Just signal for the twins. They'll know what to do."

Stretched-skinned cenobite: "Okay."

-The cenobite wonders off.

Pinhead: "He's a rookie. I guess the poor soul the twins de-cenobitized yesterday wasn't such a bright lad. I may have to send him literally to hell!"

-The twin cenobites walk by. They are tall with slick, black, rubber suits on, and have twisted faces, thanks to a twisted and conjoined connection between their heads.

Michael Myers: "The twins I presume?"

Pinhead: "Yes, they are two cenobites you'll never want to get in between of!"

Jason Voorhees: "Freaky!"

Pinhead: "Come, I'll show you..."

-Another cenobite comes up to Pinhead. This cenobite is a woman with white skin and wearing a slick, black, rubber suit.

Female cenobite: "Sir, we need you in the back."

Pinhead: "Excuse me, I'm showing important guests around the club."

-The female cenobite whispers to Pinhead's ear.

Female cenobite: "The Chains are ready."

Pinhead: "Oh. Uh, gentlemen, please excuse me. I have some important business to attend to."

-Pinhead is about to walk away with the female cenobite.

Pinhead: "Oh, and enjoy your stay. The bars are here for your pleasure."

-The female cenobite turns to Pinhead.

Female Cenobite: "Or, your torture!"

Pinhead: "Yes!"

-Pinhead and the female cenobite wonder off eagerly.

 

Jason Voorhees: "What the hell was that about?"

Freddy Krueger: "I think that Pinhead is about to enjoy his own personal pleasure - torture!"

Jason Voorhees: "Freaky!"

-Freddy, Jason, and Michael go up to one of the bars. There, a cenobite, a deformed white creature with goggle-like eyes, serves as a bartender.

Michael Myers: "Hey, we'd like some beer. I'll have a Molson Ice."

Freddy Krueger: "A Budweiser."

Jason Krueger: "And, also a Budweiser."
Goggle-eyed cenobite: "I.D.'s, please."

Michael Myers: "Oh, of course."

-Freddy, Jason, and Michael all show the cenobite their I.D.'s. The cenobite looks at Freddy's I.D., which reveals his usual scarred self. The cenobite looks up at Freddy.

Goggle-eyed cenobite: "Okay."

-The cenobite looks at Jason's I.D., which reveals his muggy, deformed, and disgusting face. The cenobite looks up at Jason.

Goggle-eyed cenobite: "Take your mask off."

-Jason slips off his hockey mask revealing his same muggy, deformed, and disgusting face. Ladies sitting nearby move away.

Goggle-eyed cenobite: "Okay."

-Jason slips his mask back on. The cenobite looks at Michael's I.D., then at Michael.

Goggle-eyed cenobite: "Take off your mask."

Michael Myers: " I shouldn't."

Goggle-eyed cenobite: "Take off your mask, Mr. Boogeyman!"

-Michael sighs and takes off his mask, revealing his handsom and unscarred face. The ladies move back up.

Goggle-eyed cenobite: "You don't look like you do in your I.D. That's if this is even your I.D."

Michael Myers: "That is my I.D., unfortunately. That's just how I looked before I recently had plastic surgery."

Goggle-eyed cenobite: "Is this true? You aren't conning me, are you?"

Michael Myers: "Really, I'm telling you the truth."

-The cenobite turns to Freddy.

Goggle-eyed cenobite: "And, you Frederick?

Freddy Krueger: "Yes, he really had plastic surgery. He is Michael Myers."

-The cenobite turns to Jason.

Jason Voorhees: "Yes, he is the boogeyman!"

Goggle-eyed Cenobite: "Okay."

-The cenobite turns to get them their drinks.

Michael Myers: "I really should redo my I.D."

-Jason turns to Freddy and laughs.

Jason Voorhees: "Frederick?!"

Freddy Krueger: "Well, I'm not the prettyface that scares off the ladies!"

-Freddy, Jason, and Michael sit at a table with their drinks. A man comes up to the bar, where Freddy, Jason, and Michael just were. The man is middle-aged, and has beer-belly, and his hair balding away.

Middle-aged Man: "Get me, Heiniken."

Goggle-eyed cenobite: "I.D., please."

Middle-aged Man: "I.D.? I've been coming here everyday since this club opened six days ago."

Goggle-eyed cenobite: "I.D., please!"

Middle-eyed Man: "What? I don't have my I.D. with me. I figured you'd get used to me as a customer."

Goggle-eyed cenobite: "Many customers come in everyday, sir. If you don't have your I.D., we can't serve you any beer."

Middle-aged Man: "What? Okay. You have to be 21 years old to have an I.D., so that you can legally drink, right? Well, does it look like some freaken' teenager or young adult? Oh, please! I'm well past my prime! I'm old, I'm balding, and I'm fat! I'm also divorced, and my ex-wife gives me very little time to see my children! So, I think I have the right and privilege to have some fucking beer!"

Goggle-eyed cenobite: "So, you don't have your I.D.?"

Middle-aged Man: "No, I don't! I..."

-The cenobite snaps his finger signalling for somebody in the back. The man looks around. The twin cenobites are headed his way!

Middle-aged Man: "What in the..."

Goggle-eyed cenobite: "This man is insisting to have beer, and is carrying no I.D. with him. He's also very rude."

Twin cenobites: "We understand."

-The twin cenobites grab the man, and drag him away into a back room. The man is heard screaming.

Middle-aged Man: "No! Argh!"

-The twin cenobites are heard snickering as their conjoined and twisted connection between their twisted faces twist the man's face.

Twin cenobites: "Heh, heh, heh!"

Middle-aged Man: "No! Argh..."

-Silence. Freddy, Jason, and Michael had seen the man bickering with the cenobite at the bar. They saw him get dragged away, and they also heard his screams.

Freddy Krueger: "Hate to be him!"

Michael Myers: "At least the cenobites take full responsibility as bartenders.

Freddy Krueger: "That's true. More clubs and bars ought to have cenobites as bartenders!"

Michael Myers: "Yeah. If Pinhead ran more clubs and had his cenobites be bartenders, there would be a lot less minors drinking alcohol altogether! It's ironic to think that, since Pinhead is basically an evil remnant!"

Jason Voorhees: "So true!"

Michael Myers: "So, what's the movie of the week going to be?

Freddy Krueger: "What's coming out this weekend?"

Jason Voorhees: "There's 'American Wedding'!"

Freddy Krueger: "Do you mean 'American Pie 3'? I don't want to see that!"

Jason Voorhees: "Why? It looks freaking hilarious, and the first two 'American Pie' movies were freaking hilarious! I got the poster of it right here!"

-Jason shows Freddy and Michael the poster of "American Wedding." It shows the characters set-to-get-married in the front holding a wedding cake. Behind the two characters are three supporting characters.

Freddy Krueger: "That poster doesn't do anything for me. I still don't want to see it!"

Michael Myers: "That can't be right."

Jason Voorhees: "What? This is the "American Pie 3" poster!"

Michael Myers: "No, I mean one of the characters in the back. I think I've already...taken care of him."

Jason Voorhees: "Do you mean Eugene Levy?"

Michael Myers: "No. I would never kill him after the endless hours of 'SC-TV' I watched in the 80's. The man is hilarious!"

Freddy Krueger: "Do you mean Eddy Kay Thomas?"

Michael Myers: "No. That guy is annoying as hell, but that's not a good enough reason for me to kill him."

Jason Voorhees: "Wait. You mean Thomas Ian Nicholas?"

Michael Myers: "Yeah! He was at that Internet stint at my house last year. I definitely remember taking care of him. He was a hopeless loser who still wanted sex, but still didn't get it. Now, he never will!"

Freddy Krueger: "Well, I don't know what to say. Maybe that's his evil twin!"

Michael Myers: "As if the guy at the Internet stint wasn't evil enough. He was annoying as hell! But, I got him good!"

Jason Voorhees: "Yeah, you did get him good!"

-Over at the bar, three executives from the National Health Organization approaches the goggle-eyed cenobite. They almost hesitate to talk with him, upon seeing the sight of him.

Executive #1: "Uh, we'd like to speak with Mr. Pinhead."

Goggle-eyed: "I.D.'s, please."
-The executives show the cenobite their I.D.'s. The Cenobite looks at the I.D.'s, then at the female executive.

Goggle-eyed cenobite: "Your hair looks different."

Execitive #2: "I died my hair a while back."

-The cenobite looks at the executive.

Executive #2: "And, that I.D. was taken four years ago."

-The cenobite continues to look at the executive.

Executive #2: "What about my face? Doesn't my I.D. and face have my same features?"

Goggle-eyed cenobite: "Yes, but your still hair looks different. You're also wearing a different shade of lipstick."

Executive #2: "So, what does my hair and lipstick matter? Can't you tell it's me, because of face?"

-The cenobite continues to look at the executive.

Executive #3: "Sir, we aren't here to have a drink. We are from the National Health Organization to check the premises of this new club, to make sure it is suitable enough for the public, and we want to speak with Mr. Pinhead."

Goggle-eyed cenobite: "There is no Mr. Pinhead, here. But, the manager and the Prince of Hell is Pinhead."

Executive #3: "Fine. Pinhead. Prince of whatever. Just get him here."

Goggle-eyed cenobite: "I don't think you want to interrupt him right now."

Executive #3: "Why is that?"

Goggle-eyed cenobite: "He's being tortured."

Executive #3: "Tortured? I don't know what kind of club you guys run here, especially with these bloody chains all over the place, but we would like to speak to him now. Or else, we'll have shut down this club."

Goggle-eyed cenobite: "Okay, then."

-The cenobite snaps his finger signalling for the stretched-skinned cenobite to come up. The executives look in shocked awe at the sight of a cenobite with the rings and the twisted and stretched-over face.

Stretched-skinned cenobite: "Yes?"

Goggle-eyed cenobite: "These three would like to speak with Pinhead."

Stretched-skinned cenobite: "Now?"

Goggle-eyed cenobite: "They insist."

Stretched-skinned cenobite: "Okay. I'll go see Pinhead and tell him."

-The cenobite wonders off in the back. Meanwhile, Freddy, Jason, and Michael, have witnessed the set-up with the executives.

Michael Myers: "What do you think is going to happen?"

Freddy Krueger: "I don't know. Knowing Pinhead, he'll either hang them with chains and tear their skin apart, send a cenobite to take care of them, or turn them into triplet cenobites."

Michael Myers: "We'll see."

Jason Voorhees: "Triplet cenobites? Freaky!"

-The stretched-skinned cenobite returns to the executives.

Stretched-skinned cenobite: "Pinhead will see you in back. Come with me."

-The executives follow the cenobite to a back room. The cenobite opens one of the two doors to a back room, and holds it open for the executives to go through. As soon as they do, the cenobite slams the door behind them. The executives turn around shakened. The executives look around the dark, misty room.

Executive #1: "Pinhead?"

Executive #2: "Hello?"

Executive #3: "Anybody here?"

-Silence. Then, they a door opens and closes within the mist. They hear footsteps.

Executive #1: "Pinhead?"

-The executives hear a snickering in the mist.

Executive #2: "Who are you?"

-The executives hear just the footsteps coming closer in the dark and misty room. Finally, they start to see a dark figure walk out of the mist, a figure wearing a slick black rubber suit, and with a deformed head. He has a white, plain, and mustached face, but has a video-camera as one of his eyes. The executives look in shocked awe. The camera zooms out as the half-man/half-camera cenobite turns to them.

Half-man/half-camera cenobite: "Ready for your close-ups?"

-The executives flee and run for the doors. They try to get out of the room, but the doors are locked.

Executive #3: "No, we're locked in!"

Half-man/half-camera cenobite: "Leaving already? I thought this was supposed to be an interview!"

-The executives find themselves trapped as the cenobite comes closer. His camera zooms out more.

Half-man/half-camera cenobite: "Trust me, you don't want to miss this shot!"

-The executives scream through the window in door.

Executives: "Help! Help us!"

-Freddy, Jason, and Michael watch them call for help and scream in terror from the circular windows from the two doors. They are having popcorn, treating the situation like entertainment. In the back room, the cenobite stops where he is and zooms out his camera even more.

Executives: "No! Argh!"

Half-man/half-camera cenobite: "Take one!"

-The camara blasts executive #1's head. His blood and brains splatter on one the door's windows.

Freddy, Jason, and Michael: "Whoa!"

Half-man/half-camera cenobite: "Take two!"

-The camera blasts executive #2's head. Her blood and brains splatter on the other door's window.
Freddy, Jason, and Michael: "Whoa!"

-The cenobite is about blast executive #3's head, but the third executive runs away from the doors and into the mist.

Executive #3: "No!"

-The third executive gets lost in the mist. He looks around and can't see anything. He wonders around the fog until he runs into the cenobite.

Executive #3: "No!"

-The cenobite grabs the third executive and lifts him until his head is level with his camera for an eye.

Half-man/half-camera cenobite: "Ready for your close-up, Mr. Executive?"

-The camera zooms out directly at the third executive's his head and blasts. His blood and brains splatter and break one of the door windows, and the brains splatter all over a couple next to Freddy, Jason, and Michael's table.

Freddy, Jason, and Michael: "Whoa!"

Couple: "Eww!"

-The couple flee.

Half-man/half-camera cenobite: "That's a rap!"

Jason Voorhees: "That was awesome!"

Freddy Krueger: "I really enjoyed that!"

Michael Myers: "Well, that goes to show that Pinhead still has his fun!"

-As the splattered couple flee the front doors of Pinhead's club, The Tall Man comes in. He looks around, and proceeds to walk to a side bar. He sits next to, none other than, Chucky. The Tall Man turns to the bartender, a deformed white cenobite with chattering teeth.

The Tall Man: "Heiniken, please."

Teeth-chattering cenobite: "I.D. is required."

The Tall Man: "Of course."

-The Tall Man shows the cenobite his I.D.

Teeth-chattering cenobite: "Okay."

-The cenobite turns to get The Tall Man his beer. The Tall Man looks around and to Chucky, who is just finishing his beer.

Chucky: "Another Heiniken!"

Teeth-chattering cenobite: "Okay, sir."

The cenobite gives Chucky and The Tall Man their beers. Both of them drink a from it at the same time, and put down their glasses.

The Tall Man: "So, what's up?"

Chucky: "Same old, same old. And, you?"

The Tall Man: "Ditto."

-Meanwhile...

Freddy Krueger: "Anyway, is there anything else coming out this week?"

Michael Myers: "I think there's 'Gigli,' but there's no way in hell I'm seeing that."

Jason Voorhees: "Me neither!"

Freddy Krueger: "Agreed!"

Jason Voorhees: "There's still 'American Wedding'!"

Freddy Krueger: "Why must you always see the dumb movies?"

Jason Voorhees: "Hey, I'm a completist! I saw the first two 'American Pie' in the theater, so it makes sense to see the third one. Besides, the movie looks freaking funny!"

Michael Myers: "I never get into movies like that. All they are, are films where immoral teens talk about and do pre-maritel sex. That's part of the reason I kill people! I also know that, that's part of the reason you kill people too, Jason!"

Jason Voorhees: "I know! I always watch an 'American Pie' movie before going on a killing spree. They get me psyched and in the mood!"

Freddy Krueger: "Then, what did you watch in the 80's before 'American Pie' came out?"
Jason Voorhees: "Porky's!"

Freddy Krueger: "Oh, that's right."

Michael Myers: "Then, that explains the all the movie theater massacres in the early 80's. You would see a 'Porky's' movie, and then kill all the horny teens watching it!"

Jason Voorhees: "I know! It was so much fun! It was part of my training I went through before embarking on 'Friday The 13th Part 2'."

Freddy Krueger: "Jason, this is a question I've been itching to ask. You enjoy watching dumb movies with no plot, which there's nothing wrong with, but you cannot stand movies with a whole bunch of plot and character development. Yet, you like 'The Matrix' movies! What's the deal with that?"

Jason Voorhees: "What do mean?"

Freddy Krueger: "How about this? Can you explain the complexities of the characters in 'The Matrix' films, as well as just what the Matrix is and the creator behind it?"

Jason Voorhees: "Huh?"

Freddy Krueger: "You mean you don't know what the Matrix actually is?!"

Jason Voorhees: "No. I just watch them for the action. No other movies have the excuse to use the most unbelievable action and make it logical at the same time!"

Michael Myers: "A reasonable answer."

Freddy Krueger: "I guess."

-On the other side of the room are a group of punks sitting at a table drinking their beer.

Punk #1: "Anyway, I spray-painted the Principal's house the other day! You should have seen the look on his face! He totally freaked out!"

Punk #2: "That's okay. I actually mugged a guy! I got his wallet with all his money and credit cards.

Punk #3: "Dude, any punk can do that. That's first base when it comes to being a punk!"

Punk #2: "Well, what did you do that makes you so high and mighty?"

Punk #3: "I didn't say that I did, but I did steal some guy's Cadillac. Not only that, I locked him in the trunk!
Punk #1: "That's cool! Is that guy okay?"

Punk #3: "What do you mean?"

Punk #1: "Did you like let the guy out and eventually flee the situation?

Punk #3: "No, I stole all of the car's credentials and left the car in the junk yard. That was 5 days ago!"

Punk #1: "Now, that's bad! You're the punk of the week!"

Punk #2: "There's something about this club."

Punk #1: "What about it?"

Punk #2: "It's the name, PINHEAD's. You can easily make a joke with it."

Punk #3: "How's that?"

Punk #2: "Well, when something or someone's name is followed by an apostrophe and the letter 's'..."

Punk #1: "Dude, you're losing me!"

Punk #3: "What's an apostrophe?"

Punk #2: "Okay! You know how the name of this club, PINHEAD's, is formed, with the name, a weird symbol, and an 's'?"

Punk #1: "I guess."

Punk #2: "Well, that means that anything can follow it as a form of possession."

Punk #1 and #3: "Huh?"

Punk #2: "It means that any object of any sort that could follow it."

Punk #3: "It sounds you learned that from school!"

Punk #1: "Yeah, dude! Don't tell us that you sold out!"

Punk #2: "Uh, I didn't! I learned it off the streets!"

Punk #1: "What streets?"

Punk #3: "Bridge Street?"

Punk #1: "Cowell Street?"

Punk #3: "Harlow Street?"

Punk #1: "Elm Street?"

Punk #2: "No, uh, Forster and Coolidge Street!"

Punk #1: "Oh, okay."

Punk #2: "Anyway, with a title like PINHEAD's, anything could follow it, like his car, his house, his key..."

Punk #3: "Oh, so I could say something like PINHEAD's brain!"

Punk #1: "Or, PINHEAD's nose!"

Punk #2: "Or, even PINHEAD's..."

-Suddenly, a hook comes out of the darkness of the room, and hooks the ears of the three punks. They hear Pinhead's voice.

Pinhead: "Cross me again, and your suffering will be legendary, even in hell!"

-The hooks vanish away snatching chunks of the punks' ears. The punks flee. Freddy, Jason, and Michael, saw a bit of the set-up with the punks from across the room.

Freddy Krueger: "What the hell was that about?"

Michael Myers: "I don't know. I guess some punks badmouthed Pinhead."

Jason Voorhees: "He got them good, though. Look!"

-Jason points to the chains that had hooked the punks. Chunks of their ears are hanging from the hooks.

Michael Myers: "Jeez!"

Freddy Krueger: "Glad those aren't my ears!"

-As the punks flee out of the front doors of Pinhead's club, they run into a tall, muscled-up, naked, and Austrian-looking man. The naked man stops them and analyzeds them. The naked man mutters to himself.
Naked man: "To punkish."

-The naked man lets the punks go. The punks flee even more in terror from Pinhead's club. The naked man enters the dark room looks around the room. Everyone looks awe. Freddy, Jason, and Michael notice.

Michael Myers: "Is that who I think it is?!"

Jason Voorhees: "It's the Terminator!"

-The naked man walks around the room analyzing the men. Eventually, he stumbles onto Freddy, Jason, and Michael. He analyzes Freddy.

Naked man: "Too scarred."

-The naked man anaylzes Jason.

Naked man: "To grungy."

-The naked man anaylzes Michael.

Naked man: "Too clean."

-The naked man wonders further into the back and sees a bad-ass playing pool. He analyzes the bad-ass, who is wearing big black boots, blue jeans, a black t-shirt, a black leatherjacket, and dark sunglasses. The bad-ass notices.

Naked man: "The one."

-The bad-ass turns to the naked man in angry fashion.

Bad-ass: "What was that?"

Naked man: "Take off your clothes."

Bad-ass: "Why, you! Who do you think you are?!"

-The naked man grabs the bad-ass by his throat.

Naked man: "A bigger bad-ass you don't want to mess with."

-The naked man throws the bad-ass across the room behind a bar. The naked man goes to the bar. Moments later, the naked man walks out wearing bad-ass's boots, jeans, t-shirt, leather jacket, and sunglasses. He walks out of Pinhead's club in a determined fashion.

Jason Voorhees: "Wow! The Terminator!"

Freddy Krueger: "I never thought we'd ever run into him. I guess this means there will be a 'Terminator 4'!"

Michael Myers: "Too clean?!"

-Meanwhile, Chucky and The Tall Man are drinking more beer. Both of them drink from them at the same time and put down the glasses.

The Tall Man: "So, how's 'Seed of Chucky' coming along?"

Chucky: "Well, it's in a fucked up situation. There's a good script for it, but Universal won't make it!"

The Tall Man: "I hear you."

Chucky: "What about 'Phantasm's End'?"

The Tall Man: "Well, its in a bad situation too. It also has a good script going for it, and it could be the all-time 'Phantasm' film, but the studios think it is too epic."

-Chucky is about to drink his beer, but slams it down, breaking the glass and spilling.

Chucky: "Too epic?! That's just what your series needs. I've been following your 'Phantasm' movies, and it needs an epic entry that explains the many unanswered questions!"

The Tall Man: "True that!"

Chucky: "You're lucky that they are even considering making it. Whatever you do, don't let them win and cut up your movie."

The Tall Man: "Oh, I won't!"

-Meanwhile...

Jason Voorhees: "I was thinking..."

Freddy Krueger: "That's a first!"

-Jason turns to Freddy in a threatening manner. Freddy snickers.

Jason Voorhees: "Anyway, I was thinking, and I think that we ought to have a big party."

Michael Myers: "What kind of party?"
Jason Voorhees: "A before-party, you know, before 'Freddy vs. Jason'. We could invite all the horror icons to it."

Freddy Krueger: "That would be cool."

Michael Myers: "I wouldn't mind that. Where would it be held?"

Jason Voorhees: "I don't know. What's say your pad?"

Michael Myers: "I don't know about that. Is my pad even big enough to throw a party? It's only a trailer outside the city."

Freddy Krueger: "We could throw it at my pad."

Michael Myers: "Since when did you have a pad?"

Freddy Krueger: "I have one! I just don't mention it much. Besides, where do you think Jason and I go when we're not at your pad?"

Michael Myers: "Of course. That's right."

Jason Voorhees: "I shack at other people's homes and apartments!"

Freddy Krueger: "What do you mean? You pick random homes, and the people who live there just let a psychopathic murderer with a hockey mask and machete sleep over?!"

Jason Voorhees: "Well, it doesn't go down like that. I take care of them first!"

Freddy Krueger: "Oh..."

Jason Voorhees: "So, I could just pick a big home, sleep in if you will, and we could set the party there."

Freddy Krueger: "That would be cool."

Michael Myers: "Yeah."

Jason Voorhees: "It could be set on Friday, August 8th, a week before 'Freddy vs. Jason' comes out."

Michael Myers: "That's a good idea."

 

-In the dance floor, a guy and a girl are dancing and making out. The guy is going to far, going to fast, because he wants to get with the girl. Hence, he's a pervert! The guy tries to keep hold of the girl, but the girl tries to resist.
Girl: "What are you doing?"

Pervert: "Relax baby, you'll like this!"

Girl: "I'm not your baby! Get off me!"

-The pervert keeps hold of her, dancing and trying to kiss her. Girl finally gets the pervert off of her.

Girl: "Get away from you pervert!"

Pervert: "Pervert? I'm no pervert! I'm a love-machine! I'm the Sherminator! I'm been sent from the future to rescue you from your innocense!"

Girl: "You're a control-freaking geek!"

-The pervert advances toward the girl.

Pervert: "That's what you think!"

-The pervert is about take hold of the girl when a hook-attached chain comes out nowhere and pulls him away. The chains pull him up to a disgruntled Pinhead.

Pinhead: "You want some pleasure?"

Pervert: "Uh, that's okay! I don't it anymore!"

Pinhead: "If it's pleasure you want, it's pleasure you'll get!"

Pervert: "No, Really! I don't want it!"

Pinhead: "Good bye!"

-The chains pull the pervert across the room to a back room. The chains unhook from him, and vanish out of the room, as the doors slam shut. The pervert gets up and runs to the doors, only to find them locked.

Pervert: "No!"

-The pervert hears something behind them. A door opening and closing. He can't see anything, because of the mist all over the room. He hears footsteps and hears a snickering voice!

Voice (a deep-voiced male): "Looks like I have a date tonight!"

-Pervert slams on the doors and calls for help.
Pervert: "Help! Help me!"

-Freddy, Jason, and Michael are again enjoying as entertainment and having popcorn. Freddy turns to Michael.

Freddy Krueger: "Butter?"

Michael Myers: "No thank you!"

Jason Voorhees: "I'll have some, actually!"

-Freddy hands Jason the butter for his popcorn. Meanwhile, the pervert finally sees someone step out of the mist. He is cenobite with a slick, black, rubber suit, and a deformed head. He has a goofy face, and on the side of his head is a device with rotating spikes going through his head, mashing up the brains he would have. The rotating spikes stick out on the other side of his head.

Brain-mashing cenobite: "It's okay man, this is better than sex!"

-Pervert slams on locked door.

Pervert: "Help! Help me!"

-The cenobite comes closer to the pervert. He gets pleasure just from the rotating spikes mashing up his brains.

Brain-mashing cenobite: "Uhhhh, tthhhatttt, feeeeeelss, goooooood!"

-The pervert continues to call for help.

Pervert: "Help! Help me!"

-The cenobite comes closer to the pervert. He walks awkwardly to line up the brain-mashing spikes at the punk's head.

Brain-mashing cenobite: "Relax baby, you like this!"

Pervert: "No!"

-The pervert gets out of the way, and runs around the room. He has nowhere to go. On one side of the room is the cenobite catching up to him. On the other side is the mist. He runs into mist, and tries to make it out of it on the other side of the room. He ends up lost in the mist.

Pervert: "No!"

-The pervert runs around the mist. He hears the cenobite snickering.
Brain-mashing cenobite: "No way are you getting away from me. This is my first time!"

-The pervert runs around the mist, and sees the dimness of the other side of the room. He runs for it, and that's when the cenobite grabs him.

Brain-mashing cenobite: "Gotcha!"

-The cenobite lifts the pervert to line up his head with the spikes coming out of his one side. The spikes rotate around the cenobite's head mashing his brains.

Brain-mashing cenobite: "Uhhhhh..."

Pervert: "No!"

-The pervert struggles to get loose, but the cenobite has a tight hold on him.

Brain-mashing cenobite: "Don't be shy!"

-The cenobite lines up the pervert's head with the spikes coming out of his head.

Brain-mashing cenobite: "Uhhhhh..."

-Finally, the spikes start mashing into the pervert's head.

Pervert: "No! Argh..."

-Silence. The pervert's blood and brains splatter on the circular window of one of the doors of the back room.

Freddy, Jason, and Michael: "Whoa!"

Michael Myers: "That was good!"

Freddy Krueger: "We didn't see what happened, but at still we got to see the left-overs!"

Jason Voorhees: "True that!"

-Meanwhile, Chucky and The Tall Man are having more beer. They drink them at the same time, and set down the glasses. They are getting drunk.

Chucky: "You know, *burp*, I ought to go the studio making 'Phantasm's End' and take care of them for you. That way, they would make your movie right."

The Tall Man: "How could you do that? *Belch*! They'd be dead! You would have killed them!"
Chucky: "Oh, yeah! *Burp*!"

The Tall Man: "What'd say I give your friends over at Universal a frightening nightmare? *Belch* It would convince them to finally make 'Seed of Chucky'!"

Chucky: "That would be nice! *Burp*!"

-Tiffany steps into Pinhead's club and spots Chucky over at the bar.

Tiffany: "Chucky!"

-Chucky looks around shakened.

Chucky: "Tiff?"

-Tiffany comes up to Chucky angerly.

Tiffany: "You promised me you'd be at the hospital with me to view the screening of our baby!"

Chucky: "Baby? What baby?"

-Tiffany is about to cry.

Tiffany: "How could not remember that we're having a baby?"

Chucky: "Burp!"

Tiffany: "You're drunk!"

Chucky: "No, I'm not!"

Tiffany: "I can't believe you! Deep down in my heart, I knew you would do this. I had a feeling you would skip out on me at the hospital, and come here to get drunk!"

Chucky: "I'm not drunk! *Burp*!"

-Chucky turns to The Tall Man.

Chucky: "Tall Man, am I drunk?"

-The Tall Man has fallen asleep with his head on the bar stand, due to his drunkkeness. Nevertheless, Chucky is drunk enough to fall over from his bar stool and to the floor.

Chucky: "Ow!"

-Chucky tries to get up, but falls over.

Tiffany: "You're so drunk, you can't even stand up!"

Chucky: "That's not true!"

-Chucky, again, tries to get up, but falls over.

Tiffany: "Chucky, If I haven't told you enough times, it's that as a human, you could drink a lot beer, but it's not samething in a doll's body! I'm going to take you home with me!"

Chucky: "No!"

Tiffany: "You're coming with me whether you like it or not!"

-Chucky tries to get up, but his legs dangle so much, he keeps tripping over. He simply is just dangling about on the floor. Tiffany grabs Chucky by his overalls and starts dragging him out of the club.

Chucky: "No! Argh!"

-As Tiffany drags Chucky out of the front doors of the club, Chucky mutters one more line.

Chucky: "I'll be back! I always come back! But..."

Tiffany: "Having a drunk for boyfriend is a bitch!"

 

-Meanwhile, Pinhead meets Freddy, Jason, and Michael at their table.

Pinhead: "So, how are you enjoying my club?"

Jason Voorhees: "It's a blast!"

Freddy Krueger: "You're really making a killing tonight!"

Pinhead: "Yes, I know. A lot of customers have been coming. I've been making a lot of 'cha-ching' every night.."

Freddy Krueger: "No, I mean the slayings in the back rooms!"

Pinhead: "Oh...Yes, I continue to run a horror business with this club as well. Every night, there's so many slackers and punks...I get to teach all of them lessons of their own. And, I get to use them as cenobites as well. Look at my newest creation."

-Pinhead points to a cenobite coming out of a back room. He is big, heavy, and deformed cenobite with a belly that that sticks out of his slick, black, rubber suit. His face is so ridiculously twisted, that he's double-faced in the twistedness.

Jason Voorhees: "Hey, that's that guy from before!"

Pinhead: "Yes. His chubby face contributed so much to the twist-job the twin cenobites did on him, that he's double-faced."

-The cenobite comes up to Pinhead.

Double-faced cenobite: "At your service, sir."

Pinhead: "Please, call my Pinhead."

Double-faced cenobite: "Okay, Pinhead."

Pinhead: "Now please, get rid of that tall man over there sleeping at the bar."

Double-faced cenobite: "Yes, sir."

Pinhead: "It's Pinhead!"

Double-faced cenobite: "I mean, Pinhead!"

-The cenobite goes off to get rid of The Tall Man.

Pinhead: "Just when I thought I had a contender. Well, he may have hope."

Freddy Krueger: "He doesn't seem so bad."

Pinhead: "Yeah, but can you believe that out of 30 people I've de-cenobitized since I've opened this club, 22 of them have been completely worthless? It's like this city is full of mostly hopeless souls."

Michael Myers: "Well, it is New York!"

Pinhead: "True that. Anyway, allow me to show you the dining hall as originally planned."

-Pinhead leads Freddy, Jason, and Michael to the second floor of his club, where the dining hall is. There, they see a floor exquisitely decorated, and where Pinhead's other most important guests dine. The whole dining section is one big room taking up the middle hump of the club with lights scatter about at the ceiling. The ceiling is one big skylight of intercutting glass sections forming reddish firing blaze.

Pinhead: "This is where you three belong. Especially you, Mike. If it weren't for you, my former self would have never found that darn puzzle box and become the evil genius I am now. Please sit, and my cenobites will serve you the finest meals you could die for."

-Freddy, Jason, and Michael sit at a table in the dining hall. Pinhead goes off to get the assitance of a cenobite. Freddy, Jason, and Michael are sitting in most comfortable leather chairs, at glass tables, formed via hellish symbols.

Freddy: "Wow! If this is hell, then I can only imagine how great heaven is!"

-Jason rests back in his leather chair.

Jason Voorhees: "Awwwww."

Michael Myers: "Enjoying that, Jason?"

Jason Voorhees: "Like you could never believe!"

-Pinhead returns to their table and sits down. My cenobites will return with your meals shortly.

Michael Myers: "Pinhead, this is a great club. You got a bars set up all over the place on the first floor. You got that huge dance floor. You have that huge stage. You have this great dining section. And, I can only imagine your own private pad you may have within it.

Pinhead: "Yes, I went through a lot of trouble to have it built according to my personal specialties."

Michael Myers: "So, why did you do it? Why did you lease this club in the first place?"

Pinhead: "Well, with all the "Hellraiser" movies Dimension is making me do, I needed something that relieve all the stress. Why not my own private club? It would always be hear for me. And, when I'm filming, I can leave my cenobites to run and torture the poor souls that find themselves here."

Michael Myers: "I see."

Pinhead: "This is my own private paradise. I figured several years ago, when I was trying to create hell on earth and destroyed this club, that I should reserve it, just in case I would ever need it. You never know."

Freddy Krueger: "Good call."

Jason Voorhees: "So, you were the one who originally caused that massacre and killed the buyers!'

Pinhead: "Yes. I covered all that up until I leased the club."

Freddy Krueger: "Do you still have plans to create hell on earth?"

Pinhead: "Well, I tried before, but I realized something. If I did, I would be able to control and do anything. And, nothing would be able to challenge me. If I had my way with everything, then life would be too easy. That's why I let that nosy reporter win."

Jason Voorhees: "I thought your former self took you over."

Pinhead: "Shut up, Jason!"

-Cenobites come to their table about serve them their meals. All of a sudden, police start raiding into Pinhead's club.

Police Chief: "Everybody come out with your hands up!"

Pinhead: "Not again!"

-Pinhead stands up, and shows himself at the opening of the dining hall on the second floor.

Pinhead: "This is my club! I leased it legally and own it legally. You have no right to just parade in here like animals!"

Police Chief: "Mr. Pinhead..."

Pinhead: "That's Pinhead to you!"

Police Chief: "Pinhead, we have a warrant to check out your club. There have been reports of missing persons entering your club and never being seen again."

Pinhead: "I can assure gentlemen that no missing persons can be found here. For you to be here and interrupt our activities is pointless."

Police Chief: "I don't know about that. I've sent in several undercover cops, and none have ever responded since."

Pinhead: "Oh, you mean these undercover cops?"

-Pinhead points to the various wooden posts rotating at a dark corner of the room. Hooks are all over the posts with torn-up flesh and blood dripping.

Police Chief: "Oh my god!"

Pinhead: "God? Do I look like someone who cares what God thinks? You've ruthlessly invaded my club, and have interrupted the activities of my guests. I have no better reason to send my cenobites after you!"

Police Chief: "Your what?"

Pinhead: "Look around."

-The Police Chief and the police officers look around as cenobites, one with the brain-mashing spikes, one with the video camera for an eye, another with CD's slammed in head, and even several sets of twins with twisted-conjoined faces, surrounding them.

Pinhead: "Cenobites, do your worst!"

-The cenobites start closing in on the police.

Police Chief: "Shoot them!"

The police try shooting the cenobites, but their bullets don't fare well against the cenobites. The cenobites simply just take them in and spit them out.

Cop #1: "We can't kill them!"

Police Chief: "Do whatever you can!"

Half-man/half-camera cenobite: "What? Can't shoot us? How's this for a shot?"

-The cenobite zooms out his camera for an eye and blasts Cop #1's head. His head blasts apart and his brains splatter over the police chief. The Police Chief looks in shocked in awe.

Police Chief: "What on earth are we dealing with?"

Pinhead: "We're no angels!"

-Cop #2 witnesses as Cop #3's head is mashed up the brain-mashing cenobite. Cop #2 looks in shocked awe as Cop #3's brains splatter on him.

Brain-mashing cenobite: "Like that? That's spaghetti sauce made with my own ingredients! You'll love it!"

-Cop #2 continues to look in shocked awe. The brain-mashing cenobite charges toward him like a bull and turns his head to line up his rotating spikes. Cop #2 ducks out of the way only to run in between twin cenobites.

Cop #2: "No!"

Twin cenobites: "Yes!"

-The twin cenobites immediately start twisting the living daylights out of the cops head and face.

Cop #2: "No! Argh..."

-Cop #4 looks around in shocked awe as fellow cops are being either brain-mashed, head-blasted, and twisted to death. That's when the Cop #4 sees the half-man/half-CD cenobite turning to him.

Cop #4: "No!"

-Cop #4 tries to shoot the cenobite, but it doesn't bite the dust. The cenobite, with a quick arm and hand, grabs a CD from its head and tosses it towards Cop #4.

Cop #4: "No!

-Cop #4 tries to duck away from it path, but the CD still slices through the top of his head. Cop #4's body stands still for a moment, before blood starts dripping from the head and before the top half of his head finally slides off. His body finally falls and dangles to ground.

Pinhead: "Aww, the suffering. The sweet, sweet suffering."

-Cop #5 looks around as most of the policemen are laying dead on the bloody floor, and as a the cenobites are slaughtering the remaining cops. Cop #5 turns to Cop #6.

Cop #5: "We gotta call for back up, or else we'll all be slaughtered!"

Cop #6: "Even with back-up, we'd still..."

-All of a sudden, the brain-mashing cenobite comes out of nowhere and brain-mashes Cop #6. Cop #5 looks in shocked awe as Cop #6's brains splatter all over him.

Brain-mashing cenobite: "I'm sorry, did I cut in?"

-The brain-mashing cenobite charges for Cop #5. Cop #5 ducks only to run into the half-man/half-camera cenobite.

Half-man/half-camera cenobite: "Ready for your close-up?"

-The cenobite grabs Cop #5 and lines up his head with his camera for an eye. He zooms out the camera directly on the head.

Half-man/half-camera cenobite: "You'll love this shot!"
-The cenobite blasts Cop #5 and his brains splatter all over the Police Chief. The Police Chief looks around in frightened awe as he's the only cop left. The rest lay dead on the ground with their blood and brains all splattering the floor, while some of their blood and brains are splattered on him. The cenobites all surround him now.

Police Chief: "No, no..."

Pinhead: "Yes, you are the last one. And, because that, I have in-store the best fate for you!"

Police Chief: "No, no..."

Pinhead: "Yes Chief, it's true. I have centuries to discover the things that make you wimper."

-The Cenobites back away from the Police Chief and vanish into the back. The Police looks around shakened as the club darkens. All of a sudden, a hook-attached chain clutches his hand. The Police Chief grasps it trying to get off. Then, another hook-attached chain clutches his other hand, leaving his arms dangling outward.

Police Chief: "What is this?"

-More hook-attached chains clutch and tear at his body. His skin starts to tear, and his blood drips. More hook-attached chains clutch and tear up his flesh as he is bloated out.

Police Chief: "No! Argh!"

Pinhead: "You think that hurts? I'm done with you yet!"

-Hook-attached chains clutch the man's legs and feet. The chains start lifting the ever-suffering Police Chief into the air. The Police Chief looks around in disbelief. The chains stop lifting him until he's up to the ceiling.

Pinhead: "I've had my fun with you, so I'll let you go..."

Police Chief: "Oh, thank you!"

Pinhead: "...in pieces!"

Police Chief: "No!"

Pinhead: "Bye bye!"

-The chains all give one good pull and tear the Police Chief to pieces. His body's pulled apart, as his arms and legs are torn off. His body tears apart, and his organs and heart fall out and fall over the crowd of people in the club.

Pinhead: "It's okay everyone. Back to the party!"

-Everybody gets back to what they were doing as if nothing just happened.

Michael Myers: "Geez! That was one hell of a massacre!"

Freddy Krueger: "I have never seen anything as gruesome as that before in my life!"

Jason Voorhees: "That was awesome!"

Pinhead: "True. True. Whenever there's a problem here, I deal with it."

Michael Myers: "What if the Army that tried to invade your club next time?"

Pinhead: "I already have!"

Michael Myers: "Oh..."

Pinhead: "Anyway, I apologize for that disturbance. Your food must be cold. I'll send my cenobites to get you new meals.

Michael Myers: "That's okay."

Freddy Krueger: "Yeah. We don't mind."

Pinhead: "That's good."

-Pinhead goes to get the assistance from a cenobite as Freddy, Jason, and Michael enjoy a typical night at Pinhead's club.

THE END