-Freddy, Jason, and Michael step out of Michael's pad and walk off to the cars, Michael's Corvette and his 1970's red Pontiac Firebird. Michael walks to the driver's side of his Corvette. Freddy walks to the passengers side.

Jason Voorhees: "Can I ride in your Corvette this time?"

Michael Myers: "I don't think so. Maybe next time."

Jason Voorhees: "But, that's what you always say!"
Michael Myers: "He's right. Freddy, take my Firebird."

Freddy Krueger: "What? That rusty, old thing?"

Michael Myers: "Yes."

Freddy Krueger: "Fine. Whatever."

-Freddy sneers at Jason as he walks over to the Firebird. Jason sits into the passenger side of Michael's fifth-generation Z-O6 Corvette.

Jason Voorhees: "Awesome!"

Michael Myers: "Now Jason, here's the rules. Don't touch anything or say anything stupid that will get me into any trouble."

Jason Voorhees: "Okay."

Michael Myers: "I mean it!"

Jason Voorhees: "Okay!"

-Michael starts up the Corvette and roars the engine.

Jason Voorhees: "Cool!"

-Freddy starts up the engine to the Firebird. He tries roaring the engine, but only gets a weak one. Jason turns to Freddy and sneers.

Michael Myers: "Oh, and don't play games with Freddy. The last thing I need now is for you two to get me into an accident and trash my cars."

-Michael and Freddy start driving down the road to the city.

Jason Voorhees: "So, why don't you just fix your Firebird, since it's so old?"

Michael Myer: "I could get it re-tuned, but it's been through so much fixing and tuning, it's become a junkcar. Its time is coming."

Jason Voorhees: "So, what are you going to do with it, then?"

Michael Myers: "Remember a while back when Leatherface was trying to sell his old Mercury?"

Jason Voorhees: "Yeah."
Michael Myers: "Well, horror fans found out somehow and went nuts over the fact that it was Leatherface's car, so they gave him good offers for his car."

Jason Voorhees: "That's cool."

Michael Myers: "So, eventually, I'm going to sell my Firebird and hope that I get good offers from my fanbase."

Jason Voorhees: "That's a good idea."

Michael Myers: "Yeah."

-Michael and Freddy are now in the city.

Michael Myers: "So, how are you and Freddy getting along?"

Jason Voorhees: "We're okay. It's just the pressure of 'Freddy vs. Jason'. It's been really getting to him. And, you know that when he starts getting competitive, he likes to get me riled up."

Michael Myers: "True. What about you, though? How's the pressure getting to you?"

Jason Voorhees: "I try not think about too much. I mean, it's only about a month away, right?"

Michael Myers: "Yeah. It's getting close."

-Michael's cell phone rings.

Michael Myers: "Excuse me."

-Michael answers his cell phone.

Michael Myers: "Hello?"

Rusty Nail: "Candy Cane..."

Michael Myers: "Candy Cane? Rusty Nail?"

Rusty Nail: "Yes. I'm looking for Candy Cane."

Michael Myers: "I don't know where Candy Cane is. Well, I mean that both Jason and I here don't know where she is."

Jason Voorhees: "Hey, don't get me involved."

Michael Myers: "I have to. He'll know you're here."
Rusty Nail: "Where is Candy Cane? I want to know where she is."

Michael Myers: "I know you do, Rusty, but honestly, I don't know. Hell, I've wondering where she is too, since I first saw 'Joy Ride'!"

Rusty Nail: "Is that so? A fellow by the handle, 'Scream', told me that you, Jason, and Freddy would know where she is."

Michael Myers: "Scream? That handle wasn't really Ghostface, was it?"

Rusty Nail: "What does that matter?"

Michael Myers: "Ghostface has been on our cases lately, because we still have our own continuous series' to star in and he doesn't."

Rusty Nail: "Is that so?"

Michael Myers: "Yes."

Rusty Nail: "And, Jason?"

Michael hands Jason his cell phone.

Michael Myers: "Just tell him 'Yes'."

Jason Voorhees: "So, who might this be?!"

Michael Myers: "Jason!"

Rusty Nail: "It's Rusty Nail. I'm looking for Candy Cane."

Jason Voorhees: "Really? This wouldn't really be Freddy prank-calling me, because I got to ride in the Corvette, would it?"

Michael Myers: "Jason, it's not Freddy!"

Rusty Nail: "I'm not Freddy. I'm Rusty Nail. I want to know where Candy Cane is."

Jason Voorhees: "You want to know where Candy Cane is?"

Michael Myers: "Jason, it's not Freddy. Don't mess with this guy!"

Jason Voorhees: "Up your ass! That's where Candy Cane is!"

-Michael sighs and grabs his cell phone from Jason.

Michael Myers: "Rusty, he didn't mean any of that. He thought you were Freddy."

Rusty Nail: "I don't know about that. You two sound like those punks I had to teach a lesson to a while back."

Michael Myers: "Rusty, really, Jason didn't know what he was doing. He never really does. He's a retard!"

Jason Voorhees: "What?!"

-Jason Voorhees grabs Michael's cell phone.

Jason Voorhees: "That's not true. Freddy, if that's you, I know you're laughing ass off!"

-Michael tries to grab his cell phone, but Jason resists.

Michael Myers: "Jason!"

Jason Voorhees: "And Freddy, you really are a bastard!"

Rusty Nail: "Is that so?"

Jason Voorhees: "Yes, that is so!"

-Michael finally grabs the cell phone from Jason.

Michael Myers: "Rusty Nail, again, Jason doesn't know what he was doing. I apologize for him."

Rusty Nail: "We'll see about that..."

-Michael and Jason hear the loud roar of an engine behind them. They look around and see Freddy in the Firebird. A Dodge Viper catches up with him.

Michael Myers: "Oh, shit!"

-The Viper sideswipes the Firebird and catches up with Michael and Jason. They hear a roar from his engine.

Michael Myers: "Rusty Nail, again, I apologize for Jason..."

-Jason grabs the cell phone from Michael.

Jason Voorhees: "Hey dude, I'm sorry. I really am. Okay?"

Rusty Nail: "It's too late for that."

(Cue for Alice Cooper's Rock song, "Hardrock Summer")

-The Viper drives up next to Michael's Corvette. Michael and Jason try to see Rusty Nail, but the windows are tinted.

Rusty Nail: "Who are you trying to look at?"

-The Viper slows down, but not before sideswiping the Corvette.

Michael Myers: "Hey!"

-The Viper continues slowing down until it's behind the Corvette. Roaring the engine, Rusty Nail speeds up and rams the rear end of Michael's Corvette. The Corvette starts to lose control. Michael regains it.

Michael Myers: "If Rusty wants to play rough, I'll play rough too!"

-Michael Myers shifts the gears of his Corvette to the second speed and starts speeding up.

Jason Voorhees: "Cool!"

-The Viper catches up. Michael turns the Corvette around a pack of cars. The Viper does so, keeping up. Having a widespread of mostly empty road ahead, Michael shifts the gears to the third speed and starts losing Rusty Nail. They are now driving at 100 miles per hour.

Jason Voorhees: "Awesome!"

-The Viper starts catching up again. Rusty Nail drives up next to Michael's Corvette. He tries to sideswipe the Corvette, but Michael is ready for him this time, and turns to the side. Rusty Nail slows down the Viper again, until he's behind Michael's Corvette. He roars the engine and starts speeding up to ram the rear end, when Michael quickly shifts the gears up to the fourth speed and speeds away.

Jason Voorhees: "This is so cool!"

-Michael is now driving at 125 miles per hour!

Jason Voorhees: "Awesome!"

-Michael turns around and doesn't see any sight of the Viper.

Michael Myers: "I think we lost him."

-Michael starts slowing down. Michael never hung up on Rusty's call.

Rusty Nail: "Candy Cane..."

Jason looks in the mirror, and sees a dot growing larger. It was the Viper catching up.

Jason Voorhees: "Uh, Mike, I think he's catching up."

-Michael looks up ahead.

Michael Myers: "Then, we'll have to see what happens."

-Up ahead is a pack of cars. Traffic! Michael continues to slow down and makes a big turn as he drives into an alley.

Michael Myers: "Short cut."

-Michael drives his Corvette swiftly through the narrow alley. Behind them, the Viper is keeping up.

Jason Voorhees: "He's still there!"

-The Viper speeds up nearing the Corvette's rear end. Michael speeds up. Seeing the end of the alley ahead, he slows down. He makes a quick turn out of the alley, and is back on the street with a few packs of cars.

Jason Voorhees: "This is cool."

(Uncue the song "Hardrock Summer"; Recue for Cooper's other Rock song, "I'm a Teenage Frankenstein")

-Michael turns around and sees the Viper a few cars behind. Seeing a few packs of cars ahead, he shifts the gears back to the third speed. He swerves his car around the pack of cars back and forth.

Jason Voorhees: "Good driving."

-Michael looks around and sees the Viper swerving around the pack of cars and catching up to them. He shifts the gears up the fourth speed.

Jason Voorhees: "Here we go again!"

-Michael speeds his Corvette away through the mostly empty street ahead. The Viper starts catching up as Jason sees a small dot in the mirror grow larger.

Rusty Nail: "Candy Cane..."

Jason Voorhees: "He's coming!"

-Michael shifts his gears to his fifth speed.

Jason Voorhees: "Oh, boy!"

-The Corvette starts going much faster. Michael is now driving his car up to 165 miles per hour!

Jason Voorhees: "This is awesome!"

-Up ahead, Michael sees two packs of cars at separate sides of the street. In between was a car, a Ford Taurus, leaving a narrow space between itself and one of the packs of cars.

Michael Myers: "Hold on tight!"

-In the Ford Taurus ahead is film critic, Leonard Maltin. While driving, Maltin is talking on a cell phone to a fellow movie critic.

Leonard Maltin: "...And, also in August, there's 'American Wedding,' and 'Matchstick Men' with Nicolas Cage. That third 'American Pie' movie is either going to be decent or trash. That Nicolas Cage Movie could be okay..."

-Michael speeds his Corvette closer. The Viper keeps up.

Leonard Maltin: "...And, there's 'S.W.A.T' and 'Freaky Friday'. What? Yes, I just said what you thought I said. Hollywood is making another movie spinoff of an old TV show and a second remake of that 1976 Disney movie with Jody Foster..."

-Michael's Corvette is ever closer the pack of cars. The Viper creeps up closer to the Corvette.

Leonard Maltin: "Anything else? Uh...oh, there's 'Freddy vs. Jason.' Yes, I did say what you thought I said. Hollywood has officially run out of ideas for movies. That movie is most likely going to be steaming pile of..."

-Michael steers his speeding Corvette in the narrow space between Leonard Maltin and the other pack of cars. Maltin is dumbfounded.

Leanord Maltin: "What in the...I'm sorry Roeper. Some bozo just sped by me as if they were high as the high heavens!"

-Rusty Nail enters through the narrow space. He sideswipes Maltin's Taurus by an inch causing a Maltin's car to get tangled up with the pack of cars. All the cars crash around into eachother, side by side, side by front, side by rear, etc. One of the cars from the tangled up pack on the left crash into one of the cars from the pack of cars to the right, causing more cars to crash around into eachother. It is a big mess.

Leanord Maltin: "What the...This is just not my day, is it? Not only did I have to preview some really bad movies, but my car is now totaled!"

-Rusty Nail, who's car wasn't too wrecked from the car pile-up, manages to steer out of the mess, and starts catching up with Michael and Jason. Meanwhile, Jason looks around the back.

Jason Voorhees: "Hey, we lost him. He must've not made it through the pack of cars."

Michael Myers: "Good."

-Michael shifts the gears back to the second speed. He's about to hang up on the call Rusty Nail made to them.

Rusty Nail: "Candy Cane..."

Michael Myers: "I can't believe it. He's like me. He can't die!"

-Michael turns to the mirror and sees a dot growing larger. He shifts his gears to the third speed. Then, to the forth, then to the fifth.

Jason Voorhees: "Oh, boy!"

-Michael is now driving his Corvette at 180 miles! Yet, the Viper continues to catch up. Michael swiftly swerves his Corvette around packs of cars back and forth. The Viper keeps up.

Rusty Nail: "You're not going to lose me..."

Michael Myers: "We'll see about that."

-Michael slows down his car and makes a big turn into an alley. The Viper follows and keeps up. Michael looks around and sees the Viper creeping up to the rear of his Corvette. He looks back in front of him, and starts slowing down his car, leaving Rusty Nail the chance to ram the rear of his car.

Michael Myers: "Rusty Nail, watch out!"

Rusty Nail: "No, you watch out!"

Michael Myers: "I mean watch out in front of us. There's a dump trunk blocking off the end other end of the alley."

-And, indeed there was. A dump truck was gradually blocking off the outer end of the alley to pick up a dumpster at the outside wall. There was a narrow space.

Jason Voorhees: "Oh, shit!"

Michael Myers: "Hold on tight!"

-Michael makes it through gradually closing space by an inch.

Jason Voorhees: "Hey, we made it!"

-Rusty Nail isn't so lucky. The space between the wall and the dumpster is now too small to go through. He desperately slows down his Viper. Realizing the front of his car will still hit the dumpster, he swerves his car, so that only the side will hit. He makes it.

Michael still hasn't hung up on Rusty Nail.

Rusty Nail: "Whew!"

-However, the Viper's side impact with the dump truck only causes the dumster it's lifting to eventally lean over causing stinky garbage to spill over onto Rusty's Viper.

(Uncue "I'm a Teenage Frankenstein")

Rusty Nail: "No! Argh!"

-Michael answers his cell phone.

Michael Myers: "Looks like we won, Rusty!"

-Michael hangs up on Rusty Nail.

Michael Myers: "Well, that's the last we should hear from him."

Jason Voorhees: "Yeah. We beat him and beat him good! The was so much fun, wasn't it?"

-Michael, remembering the damage to his car, turns to Jason sternly.

Jason Voorhees: "He, he...I'm not going to be able to ride in your Corvette again, will I?"

-Michael roars the engine and drives off to the movies. When they get there, Freddy is in Michael's parked Firebird waiting for them. Michael parks his Corvette. Freddy steps out of the Firebird.

Freddy Krueger: "Did you guys see what the guy did to me? He purposely sideswiped the Firebird. Just so you know, it wasn't my fault!"

-Jason and Michael step out of the Corvette.

Michael Myers: "I know. It was..."

-Jason sighs. Michael hesitates.

Freddy Krueger: "What? Who's fault was it?"

Michael Myers: "It was Rusty Nail's fault. He was the driver of that Viper that sideswiped you."

Freddy Krueger: "Rusty Nail? From 'Joy Ride'?"

Michael Myers: "Yeah, he was still looking for Candy Cane!"

Freddy Krueger: "Why would he think that we would know?"

Michael Myers: "Because, Ghostface told him so."

Freddy Krueger: "That slimeball? Then, it's really his fault that Rusty Nail would go after us and sideswipe your Firebird."

Michael Myers: "And, send us on a joy ride of our own through town, while almost trashing car."

Freddy Krueger: "Oh...Well, at least we're all okay."

Michael Myers: "Yeah. Freddy, why don't you go off and quickly get the tickets?"

Freddy Krueger: "Okay."

-Freddy goes off to the ticket booth to get the tickets for the movie. Michael turns to Jason. Jason sighs.

Jason Voorhees: "Thanks for not telling him. He would have made fun of me all night if he knew that that I had something to with it."

Michael Myers: "I know. I didn't want to see him torment you anymore than he already does with 'Freddy vs. Jason'."

Jason Voorhees: "Thanks."

Michael Myers: "But, speaking of 'Freddy vs. Jason,' part of your earnings from it will pay for the damage to my cars."

Jason Voorhees: "Fair enough."

-Jason start walking to from the parking lot to the theater. Jason sighs.

Jason Voorhees: "What you said to Rusty Nail, about me being a retard, did you mean that?

Michael Myers: "No. I only said that, so that he would leave us alone."

Jason Voorhees: "Oh, okay."

Michael Myers: "Of all things, you're just an angry hockey goalie with no teeth!"

-Michael laughs. Jason laughs with him.

Jason Voorhees: "Well, that's better anyway!"

-Jason and Michael walk to the theater. Outside the theater is a long line of people.

Jason Voorhees: "Great. Now, it's too late to see 'Terminator 3' tonight."

Michael Myers: "Well, I did send Freddy up here a few minutes ago. He should be further up away from the back of that line by now."

-Jason and Michael hear Freddy in the distance.

Freddy Krueger: "Hey guys, up here!"

-Jason and Michael recognize Freddy further up away from the back of the line.

Michael Myers: "Yeah, we'll be there in a moment!"

-Jason and Michael start walking up to where Freddy is in line. Along the way, they spot Chucky.

Michael Myers: "Hey Chucky, what's up?"

Chucky: "Can't really say. Tiffany's making me see 'Legally Blonde 2' with her!"

Jason Voorhees: "That sucks. We're seeing 'Terminator 3'!"

Chucky: "Good luck. The line goes around the corner of the theater."

Michael Myers: "Well, Freddy is actually further down the line."

Chucky: "Oh. Well, enjoy your movie. I don't think I'll survive tonight!"

Michael Myers: "I don't know about that. Jason made Freddy and I see 'Dumb and Dumberer' with him!"

Chucky: "That's different. I have to see a chick flick!"

Jason Voorhees: "Well, if Tiffany likes it, maybe you'll get to fuck her tonight!"

Chucky: "I better be!"

Michael Myers: "Well, good luck."

Chucky: "Yeah..."

-Jason and Michael meet up with Freddy further down the line.

Jason Voorhees: "We just saw Chucky. Tiffany is making him see 'Legally Blonde 2' with her!"

Freddy Krueger: "That sucks!"

Michael Myers: "He also said that this line goes around the corner of the theater."

Freddy Krueger: "Geez."

Michael Myers: "Jason, why don't you walk up around the corner to see how long the line is."

Jason Voorhees: "Okay."

-Jason goes off around the corner to see how long the line is.

Freddy Krueger: "So, what really happened?"

Michael Myers: "What?"

Freddy Krueger: "The joy ride. Jason didn't say something stupid, did he?"

Michael Myers: "How would you know?"

Freddy Krueger: "Because, I hang the guy more than you do. He's cool, but sometimes, he just doesn't know any better."

Michael Myers: "Well, that's funny. He actually thought that it was you on the phone. He thought you were pretending to be Rusty Nail!"

Freddy Krueger: "He did?"

Michael Myers: "Yeah!"

Freddy Krueger: "Well, what can I say? I like to rile him up, but I wouldn't go that far."

Michael Myers: "So, you admit it."

Freddy Krueger: "What?"

Michael Myers: "That you get competitive and rile him up."

Freddy Krueger: "Of course! Somebody's got to rile up that momma's boy!"

Michael Myers: "Well, give him a break. Okay?"

Freddy Krueger: "Why should I? He's gotten to be in more movies than I have."

Michael Myers: "So, you're jealous of him?"

Freddy Krueger: "Yeah!"

Michael Myers: "Now, that's funny. Of all things, I never would have thought that you, Freddy Krueger, would be jealous of Jason Voorhees."

Freddy Krueger: "Well, I find it unfair that he's gotten to be in ten movies."

Michael Myers: "You mean really nine movies."

Freddy Krueger: "Whatever. Nine movies. And, I've only been able to do seven. And, when you think about it, my 'Nightmare' series has always had more plot and story than his 'Friday' series."

Michael Myers: "True. But, he already had as much as four movies up and running before your first 'Nightmare' movie came out."

Freddy Krueger: "Yeah, I guess. But, what really bothers me is that concerning the talk on horror sites, there's been more talk about Jason then there has been about me."

Michael Myers: "So, you are jealous!"

Freddy Krueger: "Yeah!"
Michael Myers: "Well, look at this way. In the long run, he always had more of the fame, because he started before you. Not only that, Paramount rushed a 'Friday The 13th' movie just about every year in the 1980's. So, he's going to be talked about more."

Freddy Krueger: "Yeah, I guess."

Michael Myers: "But, horror fans have always appreciated you for being the more clever and intelligent horror icon."

Freddy Krueger: "That's right."

Michael Myers: "Hell, half of your movies always had more of a scary impact, whereas Jason's movies have always been more campy than scary."

Freddy Krueger: "Hey, that's right."

Michael Myers: "So, you shouldn't feel like your any less than Jason."

Freddy Krueger: "Your right. Thanks Mike."

Michael Myers: "No problem."

Freddy Krueger: "Just don't tell Jason about this."

Michael Myers: "Don't worry. I won't."

-Jason catches up with Freddy and Michael.

Jason Voorhees: "It's a really long line. We might not make it in to see 'Terminator 3' tonight."

Michael Myers: "What about the times?"

Jason Voorhees: "The 9:25 show is sold out. There's only 10:00 and 11:15 shows remaining, and a lot of people have already went in for the 10:00 show."

Freddy Krueger: "I don't know about you, but I don't want to wait until 11:15 for 'Terminator 3'!"

Michael Myers: "I don't either. We better go ahead with Plan B."

Jason Voorhees: "Yeah."

-Freddy, Jason, and Michael start tapping the shoulders of the people ahead in line. They turn around and see Freddy Krueger, Jason Voorhees, and Michael Myers turning them in threatening manners. Freddy with his claws, Jason with his machete, and Michael with a big kitchen knife. The people flee in terror, leaving Freddy, Jason, and Michael to take their places in line. As Freddy, Jason, and Michael continue doing so, they stumble upon many dead bodies along the way.

Jason Voorhees: "Hey, look at this."

Michael Myers: "Scaring them is one thing, but killing them is another."

-Freddy analyzes the bloody wounds at the victims shoulders.

Freddy Krueger: "I think this is the work of Ben Willis."

Jason Voorhees: " You mean the Fisherman from 'I Know What You Did Last Summer' and 'I Still Know...'?"

Michael Myers: "Yeah. I'm not surprised that he would resort to this. He wasn't scary to begin with!"

Jason Voorhees: "We should keep going."

Freddy Krueger: "Yeah, but try to stay clear of Fisherman, while at it."

-Freddy, Jason, and Michael continue to scare the people in line to take their places. Eventually, they stumble onto more dead bodies and Ben Willis. Willis about to attack the people in front of him.

Michael Myers: "Hey, Ben. What's up?"

-Ben looks over, interrupted.

Ben Willis: "Uh...I'm fine!"

Michael Myers: "It's been a while. I haven't seen you since the Horror Convention of 1998, when us horror icons were honored for 'Halloween: H20,' 'I Still Know What You Did Last Summer,' and Chucky for 'Bride of Chucky'."

Ben Willis: "Yeah, it has been a while."

-Ben Willis put his hook for a hand down.

Michael Myers: "Caught any good bait recently?

Ben Willis: "Well, I've been on the move for Julie James, but there's been no such luck."

Freddy Krueger: "That's a shame."

Ben Willis: "Yeah, but I have caught Larry Clark and Dominique Othenin-Girard in the meantime."

Freddy Krueger: "Larry Clark? Great, you saved the world from any more misguided attempts at movies!"

Michael Myers: "Dominique Othenin-Girard? The directer that nearly trashed my 'Halloween' series with my 'Revenge' in 1989? Thanks a bunch!"

Ben Willis: "I thought you would like that. Next is Danny Cannon for possibly screwing up my own series with 'I Still Know What You Did Last Summer'."

Jason Voorhees: "Good call."

Ben Willis: "It's because of him that I might not get to do 'I Still Know What You Did a Several Summers ago' or something."

Freddy, Jason, and Michael laugh.

Ben Willis: "Yeah, they never were able to get title right."

Michael Myers: "Have you actually consented with filmmakers for a third 'I Know'?"

Ben Willis: "Yes, but they're afraid to do it."

-Ben, Freddy, Jason, and Michael are now at the beginning of the line at the ticket booth. They moved up the line as they were in discussion.

Michael Myers: "We'll have to see what happens, then."

Ben Willis: "Yeah."

-Ben Willis turns to the ticket person.

Ben Willis: "One for 'The Dancer Upstairs.' 9:45 show."

-Ben Willis slips the ticket person $7 dollars. The ticket person slips Willis the ticket.

Michael Myers: "The Dancer Upstairs? Then, why did you hook three dozen people? 'The Dancer Upstairs' doesn't have enough buzz to sellout tickets like 'Terminator 3'."

Ben Willis: "I know. I have to keep it up, or I'll get rusty."

Michael Myers: "Oh."

Ben Willis: "Well, See ya."

Michael Myers: "Yeah."

-Freddy, Jason, and Michael get their tickets for the 10:00 show of 'Terminator 3' and walk into the next room where there's an arcade and concession stand. They look at the posters of upcoming movies on one of the walls. Freddy and Jason spot the 'Freddy vs. Jason' poster.

Freddy Krueger: "Hey, that's me! I'm the on the left!"

Jason Voorhees: "That's me! I'm on the right!"

Michael Myers: "You guys have been seeing that poster up there for weeks now and you still act surprised when you see it!"

-Freddy and Jason walk back and see the 'Freddy vs. Jason' banner high up near the ceiling.

Freddy Krueger: "Hey, that's me! I'm sneering at you right there!"

Jason Voorhees: "That's me, too! I'm giving you my menacing eye stance!"

Michael Myers: "Well, that's new, anyway."

-Freddy, Jason, and Michael go up the concession stand for drinks and popcorn. There are long lines.

Freddy Krueger: "There's no time for this. We better go with Plan B."

-Freddy, Jason, and Michael tap the shoulders of the people in front of them. They turn around and see Freddy Krueger, Jason Voorhees, and Michael Myers turning to them in threatening manners, claws, machette, knife, and all. They flee in terror, leaving Freddy, Jason, and Michael to take their places in line. Freddy, Jason, and Michael continue to do so until they're first in line. Serving at the concession stand is Lindsay Wallace. It says so on the name tag on her work shirt.
Lindsay Wallace: "What's up with all those poeple?"

Freddy Krueger: "I don't know. It's as if they got scared away!"

Lindsay Wallace: "Yeah..."

-Lindsay looks at Freddy and Jason, then to the 'Freddy vs. Jason' poster. She looks back to the Freddy and Jason, then to the 'Freddy vs. Jason' banner. She looks back at Freddy and Jason again, then to the 'Freddy vs. Jason' poster. She is about to look at the 'Freddy vs. Jason' banner once again, but looks at Freddy and Jason.

Lindsay Wallace: "Hey, you're..."

Freddy Krueger: "Yes, I'm Freddy!"

Concession person: "And you're..."

Jason: "I'm Jason!"

-Lindsay turns to Michael.

Concession person: "And, who are you?"

Michael Myers: "What do you mean who am I?! I'm Michael Myers! I'm the boogeyman!"

-Lindsay is confused.

Lindsay Wallace: "Huh?"

Michael Myers: "Remember 25 years ago on Halloween night in 1978?"

-Lindsay is more confused.

Lindsay Wallace: "Wait a minute, are you that comedian, Mike..."

Michael Myers: "Never mind. We'll get one large popcorn..."

Freddy Krueger: "No, make that two."

Michael Myers: "Actually, make that two large popcorns..."

Jason Voorhees: "Hey, I want my own popcorn!"

Michael Myers: "Okay! Make that three popcorns, two large..."

-Michael sneers at Jason.

Michael Myers: "...and one small."

Lindsay Wallace: "Any drinks?"

Michael Myers: "I'll have a large Coke.

-Michael turns to Freddy and Jason.

Michael Myers: "And, you guys?"

Freddy Krueger: "I'll have Sprite. A large Sprite."

Jason Voorhees: "I'll have a Cherry Coke. A..."

Michael Myers: "A small Cherry Coke."

Lindsay Wallace: "Okay!"

-Jason sighs. Michael turns to Jason.

Michael Myers: "The snacks are expensive enough. Besides, that goes to the damage to my cars."

-Jason sighs.

Jason Voorhees: "Whatever."

-Freddy, Jason, and Michael enter the theater. They look up as the stadium-seating is nearly filled up.

Freddy Krueger: "We better get our seats quick."

-Freddy, Jason, and Michael start up the stairs of the stadium-seating in the theater and spot of three empty seats. As they start up the steps, they spot Pinhead sitting in one of the bottom rows.

Michael Myers: "Hey Pinhead, what's up?"

Pinhead: "Nothing much. But, this movie better be good."

Michael Myers: "Or what? You'll send the Terminator to hell, right?

Pinhead: "Yes. Something like that."

-Freddy, Jason, and Michael continue up the steps in search for three empty seats, when they spot Leatherface sitting in the middle row. Several seats appear to be empty all around him. Freddy, Jason, and Michael walk closer to his row.

Michael Myers: "Hey Leatherface, what's..."

-Leatherface has a movie-goer in his arms and he's gobbling him up like a smorgisboard! Faint cries are heard from the dying movie-goer.

Michael Myers: "We better leave skinface, alone. He's hungry!"

Freddy, Jason, and Michael continue up the steps spot three empty seats near the top. They are about take them, when three punks take them last minute.

Punk #1: "Sorry fellas, we got these."

-One of the punks notices Jason.

Punk #2: "Yeah, go play some hockey!"

-The three punks laugh.

Freddy Krueger: "Plan B..."

Jason Voorhees: "It's okay. I'll take care of this."

-Jason takes off his hockey mask and reveals his muggy, deformed, and disgusting face to the three punks. The punks are disgusted.

Punks: "Eww!"

Jason Voorhees: "Now, get out of here!"

-The three punks jump out of the seats and flee. Jason puts back on his mask as he, Freddy, and Michael sit down.

Michael Myers: "Thanks for saving us the trouble, Jason."

Jason Voorhees: "No problem."

-The lights in the theater slightly darken and commercials start showing on the screen.

Commercial #1 (Words appear on a black screen as someone narrorates): "The art, the speed, the design..."

Freddy Krueger: "Gee, I wonder what this could be!"

Commercial #1 (Cars are shown driving around mountain sides): "...A Cadillac. The true definition of a dream machine..."

Freddy Krueger: "Lo, and behold, a car commercial!"
Commercial #1 (The cars are shown parked around a car dealer with numerous people looking in awe): "...Any of these dream cars can be found at your local Cadillac dealer."

Freddy Krueger: "Glad that's over."

Commercial #2 (A sports figure is shown): "What is adrenaline? Adrenaline is the intense feeling you get when play sports..."

Freddy Krueger: "Oh, no, a sports commercial. The Mercy!"

Commercial #2 (People are shown playing sports): "...It could be any sport: basketball, hockey, soccer..."

Jason Voorhees: "Blah, blah, blah!"

Commercial #2 (The sports figure is holding a Gatorade): "...So, when you need to keep your energy flowing, have a Gatorade!"

Michael Myers: "Now, that's a cheating advertisement!"

Commercial #3 (A man is shown waiting for a cab in the pouring rain): "When you need help..."

Freddy Krueger: "Oh no! Not another commercial!"

Commercial #3 (A cab comes. The man opens the back door and is about to step in, when he notices a woman and her child waiting next to him): "...Do what's in your heart..."

Jason Voorhees: "Argh!"

Commercial #3 (The man lets the woman and her child take the cab instead. He waits for another cab): "...A message from Organization of Christianity."

Michael Myers: "That's actually a good commercial."

-The lights in the theater darken more and trailers start previewing.

Trailer #1 (A figure with weapons at his side is shown with a dark back backdrop around him. A narroration is heard.): "In a dark future, where there's no justice..."

-Freddy imitates the movie previewer.

Freddy Krueger: "Only one man can save mankind!"

Trailer #1: "Only one man can save mankind!"

Freddy Krueger: "I knew it! I was right!"

Trailer #1: A whole bunch of action scenes take place.

Jason Voorhees: "Cool!"

Trailer #1: More actions scenes take place.

Freddy Krueger: "Can mankind be saved? Will this hero save us?"

Trailer #1: "Can mankind be saved? Will this hero save us?"

-Freddy laughs his ass off!

Freddy Krueger: "I knew it! I knew it!"

Trailer #1: "You will find out in 'All Out War'!"

Michael Myers: "No wonder the action genre has been done to death. There are no more original ideas!"

Freddy Krueger: "I swear I've seen that movie before! It was 'Mad Max'!"

Michael Myers: "And, 'Cyborg'!"

Jason Voorhees: "I think that movie looks cool!"

Trailer #2 (A guy and girl are shown in different parts a town): "He was struggling actor, she was a spoiled rich kid..."

Freddy Krueger: "Oh, no!"

Trailer #2 (Guy and girl meet-cute): "...Their lives caught up with eachother..."

Freddy Krueger: "Is that Freddie Prince Jr.?!"

Trailer #2 (Guy: "I love you!," Girl: "But, I don't love you." Guy kisses Girl. Girl: "Oh, I love you too!" Girl kisses Guy...): "...They fell in love..."

Jason Voorhees: "Is that Jennifer Love-Hewitt?!"

Trailer #2 (The girl's father: "I don't want some stupid, dirt-poor boy with my daughter!"): "...But, their love was separated..."

Michael Myers: "Is that Henry Winkler?!"
Trailer #2 (Guy: "I don't care if we're from different sections of town. I don't care if you're rich and I'm not. I just care about you..."): "...But, they would overcome these obstacles..."

Freddy Krueger: "Predictable..."

Trailer #2 (Guy and girl are shown kissing): "...In 'Falling in Love'..."

Michael Myers: "Pretty straight-forward title."

Trailer #2 (Guy: "I love you. I always will!): "...Starring Freddie Prince Jr..."

Freddy Krueger: "What I'd tell ya?"

Trailer #2 (Girl: "Oh, I love you too!"): "...Jennifer Love-Hewitt..."

Jason Voorhees: "Don't they mean Jennifer Hate-Hewitt?!"

Trailer #2 (Girl's father: "I was wrong. You two are right for eachother."): "...And also starring Henry Winkler..."

Michael Myers: "Oh, Henry!"

Trailer #2: "...You will fall in love with 'Falling in Love' This Fall."

Freddy Krueger: "That trailer totally spoils the movie!"

Michael Myers: "Like, I was going to see it anyway!"

Trailer #3 (A scientist is shown): "He was living a happy life..."

Freddy Krueger: "I love it when they use past-tense in trailers. It only means that something bad is going to happen!"

Trailer #3 (Scientist (#1) encounters his clone): "...Until he found out he was cloned..."

Michael Myers: "Is that Arnold Schwartzenegger?!"

Trailer #3 (Scientist #1: "Hey, you're me!"; Scientist #2: "Hey, I'm you!"; Scientist #1: You must be my long lost twin!"; Scientist #2: "Actually, you're my clone!"; Scientist #1: "No! It can't be! Argh!"): "...Or was he cloned?..."

Michael Myers: "Didn't Arnold do something similar to this in 'The Sixth Day'?"

Trailer #3 (Scientist #1: "We must do something about this!," Scientist #2: "Yes, be do battle with the evil corporation that did this!"): "...They would team up..."
Freddy Krueger: "Big surprise!"

Trailer #3: A whole bunch of action scenes take place.

Jason Voorhees: "Cool!"

Trailer #3: More actions take place.

-Michael turns to Freddy.

Michael Myers: "Jason is going to love this movie!"

Trailer #3 (Scientist #1: "I can't be a clone. You are!"): "...Arnold Schwartzenegger..."

Freddy Krueger: "Oh, this is going to be good!"

Trailer #3 (Scientist #2: "No, you are the clone!" Scientist #1: "No! Argh!"): "...Arnold Schwartzenegger...

Freddy Krueger: "They aren't supposed to list an actor's name twice, even in a clone movie!"

Trailer #3 (Scientist #3 steps in. Scientist #3: "No, you're the clones! I'm natural! Scientist #1 and 3: "No! Argh!"): "...and, Arnold Schwartzenegger..."

Michael Myers: "Oh my gosh!"

Trailer #3: "...In a totally original thriller from the makers of the box-office hit, 'The Sixth Day'..."

Michael Myers: "That wasn't a box-office hit!"

Trailer #3: "...'The Seventh Day'!"

-Freddy and Michael laugh their asses off!

Freddy Krueger: "Oh yeah, that's original alright!"

Michael Myers: "And, just when Arnold may have redeemed his career with 'Terminator 3'!"

Jason Voorhees: "That movie looks cool!"

Trailer #4 (Words appear on a black screen): "1980...Fear was born..."

Jason Voorhees: "Oh, boy!"

Trailer #4: "1984...The nightmare began..."

Freddy Krueger: "This is it!"

Trailer #4: "...The Legends come together...face...to face..."

Michael Myers: "Oh, this is going to be good!"

Trailer #4: Freddy is shown in the dark corridors of a boiler room.

Freddy Krueger: "Hey, that's me! It's so nice to see myself on the big-screen after all these years!"

Trailer #4: Jason's masked face is shown up close. He kicks down a door.

Jason Voorhees: "Hey, that's me! I just kicked that door down!"

Trailer #4 (Freddy taunts Jason: "Welcome to my nightmare...")

Freddy Krueger: "Hey, that's me taunting you!"

-Freddy turns to Jason.

Freddy Krueger: "Welcome to my nightmare!"

Trailer #4: Freddy is shooting off bazooka's or something at Jason. Jason dodges them charging toward Jason.

Freddy Krueger: "That's me shooting off bazooka's at you!"

Jason Voorhees: "Well, that's me dodging them and charging towards you about to kick the living shit out of you!"

Trailer #4: Jason punches Freddy, causing him to fly off several feet away in the distance.

Jason Voorhees: "Ha! That's me punching you with a mighty swing!""

-A movie-goer in the theater stands ups and turns to Freddy and Jason. He sticks up his middle finger to them.

Movie-goer: "And, this will be you guys if you don't shut up!"

-Freddy and Jason turn to the movie-goer in a threatening manner.

Movie-goer: "Uh, never mind..."

-Movier-goer sits back down.

Trailer #4: A whole bunch of action and dialogue scenes involving teen characters are shown.

Michael Myers: "Is that Kelly Roylings?!"

Trailer #4: Jason is shown turning his head in the way Michael Myers would.

Michael Myers: "Hey, you used that trick I taught you!"

Jason Voorhees: "Yeah, it came in handy!"

Trailer #4: More action and dialogues scenes are shown.

Michael Myers: "This could be pretty good."

Trailer #4: Freddy is shown jumping out of Crystal Lake. A girl is on the dock.

Freddy Krueger: "Hey, that's me jumping out of the lake ready to teach that girl a lesson!"

Michael Myers: "Yeah, that is a great shot."

Freddy Krueger: "So true!"

Trailer #4 (title is finally shown and narrorated): "Freddy vs. Jason!"

Michael Myers: "Oh, this looks so good!"

Freddy Krueger: "I know!"

Jason Voorhees: "I can't wait!"

-The lights in the theater completely darken. 'Terminator 3' is about to begin. Before it does, Some punks a few seats down are rowdy and won't shut up. They get other people around them rowdy. Freddy, Jason, and Michael are about to get up and teach them a lesson. then, out the darkness of the theater, hook-attached chains come out of nowhere and hook the rowdy punks. The chains lift up the punks tearing apart their skin. Their skinless and bloody bodies drop onto the seats, as the chains disappear into the darkness. Everyone in the theater shuts up.

Michael Myers: "Thanks, Pinhead!"

Pinhead: "No Problem."

-Freddy, Jason, Michael, and everyone else in the theater get psyched as 'Terminator 3' is about to begin.

THE END